The Real Rebecca

by Anna Carey

  ‘Wow, she really can’t accept reality, can she?’ said Ellie. ‘And neither can those TV people if they think they’re going to get any alcohol at that bar.’ She looked around. ‘Oh, hi, Rebecca’s sister.’

  ‘Hello, Rebecca’s friend,’ said Rachel. She had arrived with her friend Jenny, who gave us a friendly smile. ‘Who on earth was that girl?’

  ‘That was Vanessa Finn,’ I said wearily.

  ‘Oh, the mad one,’ said Rachel. ‘Right, what time are you on?’

  ‘Second last,’ said Cass.

  ‘Okay,’ said Rachel. ‘So Jenny and I have time to go off and get a drink somewhere.’

  ‘I suppose so,’ I said.

  ‘Don’t worry, we’re not going to miss you,’ she said. ‘We’ll be back in half an hour.’

  ‘We definitely will,’ said Jenny. ‘It’s just the thought of sitting through loads of kids – I mean, other bands. See you later!’

  And off they ponced. I stared after them.

  ‘Oh well, she’s here in spirit,’ said Cass. ‘And you know she’ll come back in time to see us.’

  ‘Yeah, I know,’ I said. And I did. She wouldn’t have bothered turning up at all if she wasn’t going to see us play. ‘I’m just jealous because she can escape for a while.’

  ‘Oh, look, some more of the class are here,’ said Alice. ‘Oh my God, it looks like all of our class is here.’

  And sure enough, a big gang of our classmates had just come through the door. I saw Anne O’Hara and Jessie and – oh yes – Karen Rodgers. And almost everyone else.

  ‘Why on earth is Karen here?’ I said. ‘She doesn’t even like me!’

  ‘She’s just looking for ammunition,’ sighed Cass.

  ‘Wow,’ said Alice. ‘I didn’t think so many would turn up. They’re all coming this way.’

  Suddenly I couldn’t bear the thought of having to talk to loads of people at once.

  ‘I’m going to the loo,’ I said, and ran off. Luckily the bathrooms were in the opposite direction to the entrance. Once I was in there I sat in a stall and tried to do the deep breathing exercises Ellie taught us last year (her mum is very into deep-breathing exercises, unsurprisingly). When I felt a bit better I headed out, and I was half way across the hall when someone said, ‘Hey,’ and tapped my shoulder. I turned around and there was Paperboy, looking gorgeous. And tall. Oh, he’s so tall.

  ‘Hey,’ I said. I hoped I didn’t look as awe-struck as I felt.

  ‘You look – are you all set for the gig?’ said Paperboy.

  ‘Sort of,’ I said. ‘Half my class from school has just turned up.’

  ‘So, do you know when you’re on?’ said Paperboy.

  ‘Yes, second last,’ I said. ‘I’m not sure if that’s good or not. I mean, I wouldn’t want to be on first, but it’s going to be a long wait.’

  ‘You really don’t want to be on first,’ said a stranger’s voice. The lead singer of the last band who’d soundchecked, Flash Harry, was standing next to Paperboy looking a bit sick. ‘Hi, I’m Johnny,’ he said.

  ‘Hi,’ I said. ‘Um, you were very good in the soundcheck.’

  ‘I dunno,’ said Johnny. ‘I’m starting to think the rap bit isn’t a good idea.’

  I could have told him that, but I didn’t.

  ‘You’ll be fine,’ said Paperboy.

  Then the stage was illuminated in a flash of pink light and Veronica walked into the middle of it.

  ‘It’s starting!’ I said. ‘I’d better go back …’

  ‘Good luck,’ said Paperboy with a smile.

  ‘Yeah,’ said Johnny, looking very unwell. ‘Good luck.’

  ‘Same to you!’ I said, and ran off. I reached my gang just as Veronica took the mike.

  ‘Hi, everyone, I’m Veronica Flaherty, and welcome to this year’s Knitting Factory Battle of the Bands!’ said Veronica. The audience whooped and cheered. ‘We’ve got some very talented bands for you this afternoon from all over Dublin.’

  Someone in the crowd shouted, ‘And Wicklow!’ Then another shouted ‘And Meath!’

  Veronica laughed. ‘Sorry, we’ve got people from all over the country. The winner will receive a weekend’s worth of studio time in the Knitting Factory studio, complete with a sound engineer who will help you record and mix some tracks. The runner-up will get Tower Records vouchers. So there’s a lot to play for! And without further ado, I’d like to welcome the first band to the stage. Please give a warm welcome to … Flash Harry!’ The crowd roared.

  ‘That’s Paperboy’s friend!’ I whispered to Alice, as Johnny and his bandmates made their way onto the stage. Johnny still didn’t look very happy as the band started to play. They weren’t bad, though. Johnny seemed to cheer up as the song went on, and his rapping bit didn’t sound too terrible. I had the feeling they were going to drop the hip-hop element from their music in the future, though. We cheered loudly when they finished. As they left the stage and the next band started taking their stuff up to it, our classmates crowded around us. I couldn’t believe so many had shown up. In fact, I was surprised Mrs Harrington wasn’t there. For a horrible moment I wondered if she actually was, but she wasn’t. Karen and Alison were, though, which was bad enough.

  ‘So Rebecca,’ said Karen in her usual smarmy voice. ‘I can’t wait to see your little girl band. At least I know what to expect from reading the book.’

  Luckily the next band came on then, so I had an excuse not to reply to her. Which was good, because I was too wired to think of anything witty to say. We stood in silence and watched the next band for a bit. They weren’t bad, but not hugely exciting. When they finished, I was turning to talk to Ellie when someone nudged me hard in the ribs. It was Cass.

  ‘Look!’ she whispered. ‘It’s Bike Boy’s band!’

  Alice was staring at them intently as they took to the stage and arranged their gear. Then Bike Boy grabbed the mike.

  ‘Hello,’ he said, in the ridiculous deep voice he’d been singing in earlier. ‘I’m Richard Murray, and we’re the Wicked Ways.’ And they were off. I understood why Alice had found it hard to say whether they were good or not earlier. The music was good, but Bike Boy’s theatrics were completely ridiculous. He was rolling his eyes and making faces as he boomed out the gloomy lyrics. It should have been hilarious. And yet …

  ‘I dunno,’ whispered Cass. ‘It kind of works.’

  I knew what she meant.

  ‘I think Bike Boy has star quality,’ I whispered to Alice.

  ‘So do I,’ she whispered back. ‘But …’

  Bike Boy boomed out the last note of the song and the crowd clapped and cheered.

  ‘The audience likes him, anyway,’ I said.

  Behind me, I heard Karen Rodgers snort. ‘The state of him!’ she sniggered. ‘He’s like something out of a pantomime.’

  Alice gave her what was, for Alice, a very dirty look. She has clearly become very proprietorial of Bike Boy already. When he finished the next song (he ended it by falling to his knees and belting out some noisy bass notes) she clapped very enthusiastically.

  ‘Wow, quite a few bands have gone on already,’ said Cass. ‘I’d say we’re about a third of the way through.’

  I should have felt even more nervous when she said that. But it was weird. As the event went on, I started feeling more and more excited. Paperboy was mostly with Johnny, but every so often I would look over and a few times I caught him glancing in my direction. It was the first time I’d ever been in the same place as him for more than a few minutes, and I was conscious of him the entire time. I was always aware that he was in the room somewhere.

  And I was also aware that I was actually looking forward to getting on stage. I mean, I was nervous, but I was genuinely excited about it. Every time another band played, we got closer to our performance time. And I found myself counting the bands, not in a ‘oh no, there are only five left’ way but in a ‘right, only five more and then we’re up’ way. When I watched the bands, I realised I wanted
to be up there too.

  We clapped and cheered very loudly when Bad Monkey took to the stage. You couldn’t tell that they were a band who, just last year, had been throwing up with nerves. They looked confident without being cocky. And they were really, really good.

  ‘Liz is so cool,’ said Cass, gazing at the stage in awe.

  ‘She really is,’ I said. When they finished, they got one of the biggest cheers of the afternoon. They stood on the stage, grinning goofily at each other for a second, before getting their stuff off the stage. The next band took their place and started to play. The lead singer was very theatrical and waily. Unlike Bike Boy, he couldn’t get away with it.

  ‘I’m going over to congratulate Bad Monkey,’ said Cass. And off she went.

  ‘You know,’ I said, ‘I really think this band is making us more confident. I mean, I don’t think any of us would have been able to talk to strangers like that a few weeks ago.’

  ‘I think you’re right,’ said Alice. She bit her lip. ‘Do you think I should talk to Bike Boy?’

  I looked around the room until I saw Bike Boy. He was surrounded by his band. They were having some sort of serious discussion and all looked a bit intense.

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘But maybe wait until he’s on his own.’

  We stood and watched the bands for a while. I looked over at Cass, who was deep in conversation with Liz from Bad Monkey.

  ‘There’re only two bands and then it’s us,’ said Alice. ‘We’d better get Cass.’

  But Cass had obviously thought the same thing, because she was making her way back to us. When she reached us she was with Rachel and Jenny.

  ‘Hello there,’ said Rachel. ‘I see we haven’t managed to miss you.’

  ‘No, worse luck,’ I said. ‘We’re on in, like, ten minutes.’

  ‘Oh God,’ said Alice. ‘I need to go to the loo.’

  ‘Well, do it quickly,’ said Cass. Alice ran off.

  ‘Are you nervous?’ asked Rachel.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Well, a bit. But not as much as I thought I would be.’

  Cass nudged me again. She nudged me so much over the course of the afternoon I bet I’ll have a bruise on my side tomorrow.

  ‘Look!’ she said. I looked. And gasped, because Alice was talking to Bike Boy.

  ‘Did she go over to him?’ I said.

  ‘No!’ said Cass. ‘He just came over to her!’

  ‘We’d better stop staring in case they notice,’ I said. So we looked very hard at the stage until Alice came back. She was blushing again. Cass and I looked at her meaningfully.

  ‘Sooooo?’ said Cass.

  ‘Um, nothing,’ said Alice, getting even redder. ‘He just stopped me to wish me good luck.’

  Cass and I looked at each other.

  ‘Hmm,’ said Cass. ‘That was nice of him. Did you compliment his suit?’

  Alice looked even more embarrassed. ‘I did, actually. I couldn’t think of anything to say. It turns out it belongs to his big brother. He’s a designer or something.’ The band on stage finished their second song.

  ‘There’s just one more and then us!’ said Cass, as everyone clapped. ‘We’d better get our stuff over to near the stage.’

  ‘Are you on now?’ whispered Ellie as we picked up our bags.

  ‘After these guys,’ said Cass. A six-piece band, complete with a girl playing the clarinet, took to the stage. ‘They’re going to be pretty loud so maybe everyone will be deaf by the time we go on.’

  ‘We can but hope,’ said Rachel. ‘Break a leg!’

  Everyone patted our shoulders or said, ‘Good luck!’ as we headed off towards the steps. Quite a few of them followed us to get closer to the front. The noisy band seemed to go on forever, and then it was over. And we were on next.

  ‘And the next band is a three piece from Drumcondra in Dublin.’ Vanessa’s voice boomed from the speakers. ‘Please welcome … Hey Dollface!’

  Our classmates cheered and jumped up and down as we climbed onto the stage. Going up the steps felt like climbing Mount Everest, and I almost tripped over some leads as I clambered back to the drum platform and settled myself on the little stool. The lights were really, really hot and quite dazzling. I could barely see the people in the audience, which was probably a good thing. Alice and Cass got into position and turned round to me.

  ‘Okay,’ said Cass. ‘This is it.’ We looked at each other with wide eyes.

  ‘Hello,’ said Alice in a wobbly voice into the microphone. ‘We’re Hey Dollface, and this song is called “The Real Me”.’ There was a long pause.

  ‘One, two, three, four!’ I cried, hitting my sticks together to mark the beat, and then bashed down on the drums. Cass hit her squelchy bass line, Alice joined in with a choppy guitar, and then we all began to sing.

  ‘They think they know me,

  The real me

  Just how wrong can

  People be?’

  From then on it all came together. There are times you play a song and it doesn’t feel quite right – the energy or the excitement or the tone or something just isn’t there. But there are times when it works, and this was one of them. We were all really, really into what we were doing. I was playing the drums with all my might, and even though it was too hot under the lights and drumming so hard made me hotter, I didn’t care. It felt brilliant. It felt as though we were acting out the music. There’s a bit towards the end of the song where it sort of pauses, but I keep drumming and then Cass’s bass line kicks in and then Alice’s guitar, and at that moment we all turned to look at each other and we were just beaming, like we couldn’t believe how much fun this was. It was, I am not exaggerating, one of the best moments of my life. When I looked out in the crowd I saw Ellie and Emma and Jessie at the very front and realised that they were – could they be? – yes! They were doing a synchronised dance! It turns out that if there’s anything cooler than taking part in a synchronised public dance routine, it’s playing the music that people are doing one to. Rachel and Jenny were standing nearby, tapping their feet to the beat. And I could also see, out of the corner of my eye, Paperboy. He was standing with Johnny to one side of the stage, and he was smiling too, in a really nice, pleased way. I usually avoid the cymbals as much as possible because they’re really hard to play, but when we reached the end of the song I stretched out and bashed one as hard as I could. We’d done it. We’d played our first live song. And we ROCKED.

  As soon as we finished, the crowd started cheering and whooping. Ellie and Emma and Jessie were leaping up and down and Paperboy was clapping like mad. Even Rachel was waving her fist in the air and hollering. I’d never seen anything like it. I couldn’t see Karen anywhere, but I’d like to think she was feeling sick. Although if she was, she was going to cheer up quite a lot in a few minutes, as you will see.

  ‘Um, thanks very much,’ said Cass. ‘Our next song is a cover. And it’s an old song. But it’s a very good one.’

  I hit the sticks to count us in and we started to play. Alice was just battering her guitar and sounded absolutely great. I was thumping away, but after a few seconds I became aware that the little stool I was sitting on was wobbling a bit. It had also moved a bit further back from the drum kit. I ignored it and kept drumming, but I got a bit distracted and made a little mistake. Cass glanced over at me for a second, and that was when the stool wobbled a little bit more, and one of its legs reached the edge of the drum platform. And before I knew it, it had fallen over the edge. And so had I. I tumbled backwards straight off the little platform and landed in an uncomfortable heap.

  I shrieked, the drumsticks went flying, the crowd roared in horror (or possibly laughter), and Cass and Alice stopped playing immediately. Cass ran over while Alice tried to get her guitar strap over her head.

  ‘Bex!’ she cried, peering over the drums. ‘Bex, are you alive?’

  From the crowd I could hear gasps and shocked voices and the odd giggle. Then silence.

  I rubbed my head and sat up
. I couldn’t believe it. I’d just fallen over in front of hundreds of people. Including Paperboy. I thought I had already been as embarrassed as it was physically possible to be, but now I found out I had been wrong. This was worse than anything to do with Mum’s book. I sat there in a daze. I didn’t want to move. I wanted to hide behind the drums forever.

  ‘Rebecca, are you okay?’ said Paul the sound guy, who had run onto the stage. ‘Do you need a doctor?’

  ‘I’m fine,’ I said, standing up, just to make sure I could. ‘Ow! No, I’m fine, really. I didn’t hit my head. I’m okay.’ I was, miraculously. Well, I felt awful, obviously, but it was more embarrassment than anything else.

  ‘Come on, Bex, we’ll get you a glass of water or something,’ said Alice.

  ‘No,’ I said. ‘Come on, we’ve got to keep going.’

  ‘After that?’ said Cass.

  ‘I’ll feel worse if we stop,’ I said.

  ‘Guys?’ said Paul. ‘Do you want to go on?’

  ‘Yes,’ said Alice. ‘Come on.’ She grabbed the mike as I sat back behind the drum kit (on a spare chair Paul had grabbed from the side of the stage – he’d taken away the stupid wobbly stool) and Cass handed me the drumsticks, which had landed on her keyboard.

  ‘So, as we were saying,’ said Alice, and I counted us in and started playing again and everyone in the audience cheered.

  If we were in a film, this would have been the bit where we played better than we’d ever played before. But we weren’t, and we didn’t. In fact, we were pretty crap. I still felt all shaky and I couldn’t get that brilliant feeling from earlier, the feeling that you’re three people all making the same sound. It all sounded detached and just … off. Our harmonies went a bit wobbly and we all made a few mistakes on our instruments and botched notes. I think we were all just wishing for it to be over. When it was, the audience gave us a huge cheer, but I still felt awful. The embarrassment of falling and then playing really badly almost cancelled out the fun of the first song.

  ‘I’m so, so sorry,’ I kept saying, as we made our way to a quiet bit of the hall near the loos and the last band, The Retreat, started to play. I was almost in tears.