Divided

by Kaesey Stobaugh

  I open my eyes to the sun, but the blinding light isn't what woke me up. I can hear my family in the kitchen, going about their morning as usual. The sound of the kids running and laughing makes me happy, reminds me of when I was younger, before my parents broke down. Back when every day was worth waking up and getting up for. Willa’s coat that’s pressed against my face gives me a nice scent to go with the memory. I finally force myself to get up and go greet the girls and check on Leila.

  My mother's cooking with an unusual smile on her face. Gabe is writing different letters for fun and Gabby is laid out across the floor playing with paper dolls.

  "Her fever is broken! She's sleeping peacefully!" My mother announces when she sees me enter. Joy fills up inside me and with that joy brings relief. I send her a smile of approval.

  I sit down next to Gabe to look over his work when Cinda bursts through the door. She's holding a jar with a rock covering the opening.

  "Look!" She cries, "Look what I've caught!" She sets the jar down in front of me and inside, darting from one corner of the jar to another is a big, fat bumble bee.

  "That's a nice bee." I say, chuckling.

  "Yeah, he is. You can let him go when you leave, Nate." She says as she pulls herself up into a chair next to me, “I don’t want him to get too scared in that jar.”

  So, now I get the privilege of releasing her new friend that will most likely sting me and then die. Just my luck.

  As we eat breakfast, I find myself watching this bee very closely. He seems so panicked. Like everything he's ever known is gone. This jar must be a very new place for him. He must have had his whole life figured out until Cinda trapped him. Day dreaming about this little bee's uncertain world is a new thing for me. It's strange, actually, so I give my head a quick shake and stand up to get ready for work.

  "Don't forget my bee!" Cinda calls to me as I open the door.

  "Oh, right." I sigh as I pick up the jar. I only smile at her as I swing out the door.

  I walk to the road, lift the rock up, and watch the bee buzz away. Funny how one minute, you think everything's over, you've been caught and you're dead, and then the next you're free and safe. All because of one person.

  The day drags by, long and hard, nothing out of the normal. By the time the sun goes down, my fence is only a few feet from Mr. Thompson's house. I make up my mind to continue until I'm done. My eyes slowly get used to the dark as they adjust, making it easier to see and work.

  Out of the blue, I hear a noise I don't recognize. I stand up straight and listen closely, shivering as the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. It sounds muffled and faded, which means it's pretty far away. Then it hits me that I have heard this noise before a few times. It sounds like an engine running. The same sound the moving prison makes. There must be soldiers here. I feel a knot in my throat, reminding me that I'll be going with them soon. Then I remember what Willa said about fighting back. Although that's easy for her to say, she's not in danger by them and her family isn't on the line.

  A voice interrupts my thoughts, "They will get to your side of town...eventually."

  The voice makes me jump as I turn to see Mr. Thompson standing behind me. I can tell he's listening too, his head tilted slightly with his ear to the sky.

  "How much time do you think I have?"

  "If you ask me...I think giving them a reason not to take you is your best bet." His voice sounds hopeless.

  "What kind of reason?"

  He shrugs. "Lifetime illness or injury. Get creative."

  "You mean fake something?" If he's telling me to fake an illness, then he is a crazy old man.

  "If you want to stay here with those little girls of yours, you'll heed my advice." He says as he turns back to the house where he disappears around the corner.

  I think hard about what he said; could I actually pull something like that off? It doesn't matter. If they found out I cheated them, I'd be dead. Besides, that makes me no better than my father.

  I listen to the sounds of families being ripped apart for a long while before packing up and heading back to take care of mine. That will be the sounds of my family soon if I don't think of a plan.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Willamina

  I’m sitting in our living room drawing a portrait of Georgie, who’s standing with her foot on a stool and her hands on her hips, her face all seriousness. I’m trying my hardest not to laugh as I sketch her girlish figure. I draw the arch of her chin and look back up to find her wiggling her nose with a look of great discomfort. I catch on to what she’s doing.

  “You can scratch your nose, Georgie.”

  She sighs in relief and scratches. I look down at the purring ball of fur asleep on the sofa next to me. Alice is waiting patiently for her playmate to be finished. Just as Georgie’s getting back into position, there’s a knock at the door. We both turn to watch as our butler, Charles opens it wide. Standing in the doorway is Mia and she looks fiercely determined. Charles starts to greet her, but she’s spotted me and is marching in without invitation. I stand, wondering what I’m in for today. She grabs my hand and pulls me out of the room and up the staircase towards my bedroom. I want to know what’s going on, but I don’t ask until the door is closed behind us. If Mia wants privacy, she probably has a good reason.

  “You have to tell me, Willa. I can’t take it anymore! I’ve been going crazy trying to figure it all out, but I can’t! If you care for me at all, you’ll put me out of this misery!” She finishes dramatically. I know she’s talking about Nate.

  “Mia, I’ve already told you…”

  “No, I’ll decide what I can handle, and I can handle this. Tell me, and that’s an order, soldier!”

  I start pacing the room. Nate wouldn’t want me to tell her, but how can I not? She’s my best friend and I trust her with my life. And that’s exactly what I’d be doing if I tell her. But even though I trust her, can I make that decision for Nate? I would be trusting her with Nate’s life too and I’m positive that that’s not my decision to make. But I can’t refuse to tell her. I don’t want to hurt her, and she will be hurt if I don’t.

  I sigh and sit down on my bed, patting the spot next to me for her to come and sit with me. When she’s seated, I start to talk, starting with me heading to the garden for a walk that fateful night. When I get to the part where I first see Nate, I get caught up in describing him to her.

  “He’s like a cloudy night. The clouds hide the stars but if the wind blows just right, sometimes you get glimpses of them.” I stay silent for a moment or two and Mia doesn’t break it, just waits patiently for me to continue. And I do.

  I talk for at least an hour, until finally, she’s caught up. When I’m done, I just sit there looking at my hands. I can’t look at her. What if she’s angry? What if she’s ashamed or disappointed? She says nothing. I can’t take it anymore; I have to know what she’s thinking. Slowly, I look up and meet her startling eyes. She’s looking at me, her face expressionless.

  “Please, say something. And please don’t be upset. I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Mia, and It’ll kill me if I have to do it without you.”

  Still, she remains silent. Her eyes start to dig inside my soul, searching for something. I look down at my hands again and see that they’re trembling. Suddenly, I feel like a teapot that’s been heated for a while and is now boiling. Instead of whistling, tears pour down my face. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to, not that I do. It feels like all the pressure I’ve become so used to recently is escaping with every drop. I try not to make any noise, I don’t want to attract the attention of my family, but little gasps keep escaping my lips. Gently, Mia wraps her arm around me and holds me close. I cry into her shoulder. Only she would do this. Only Mia would hug me and let me cry. Everyone else would need to know what’s wrong. They’d try to console me or make me stop. Only Mia lets me cry and knows that I need to. After a long time, the tears stop coming. I sit up and look her in the eye again. She looks gentl
er now.

  “Okay, so this is how things are.” She says. “This is what you have to deal with and this is the life you’ve chosen. But you don’t have to do this alone.”

  “I’m not alone. I have Nate.”

  “But Nate barely knows you and you barely know him. I want to come tomorrow night.” She’s not asking for permission.

  “You can’t. I don’t want him to know I told you. He won’t be happy.”

  “Then he’s not happy. He’ll have to deal with it. The thing is; I’m going to be there, in the forest, tomorrow night at midnight whether you say I can come or not. So, if I were you, I’d get okay with that, because it’s not changing.” She looks at me stubbornly, like she’s daring me to argue.

  “Well, I guess I don’t really have a choice here, do I?” She shakes her head with a little smirk. “Just let me do the talking when we first get there, okay? He’s going to be upset and he’ll probably think I’ve betrayed him.”

  “Deal. See you tomorrow.” She walks confidently to the door and closes it behind her.

  I now have a whole new set of things to worry about. Like the fact that both Mia and Nate have fiery sides and I don’t want them to burn each other up. But the biggest worry is that Nate will be angry I told her. And I know he will be. But it kills me to think he’ll feel like I betrayed him. I would never tell anyone I didn’t completely trust. But does he trust me enough to trust my judgment?

  I walk over to the vanity and look at my red puffy eyes and tear streaked cheeks. My family can’t know anything happened. I wipe my eyes and wait for the puffiness to go down. It’s evening now and dinner will be served soon. I don’t have much time.

  Even with these new worries, I feel better. I needed to cry and now I’m refreshed. But it’s also nice to have Mia be a part of this. The loneliness is lessened and my heart is lighter than it’s been in a long time. I hope Nate and Mia get along. If only there was some way for me to tell him what’s coming, but of course, there isn’t. Unless I went over to his side and found him. But that’s nearly impossible and I wouldn’t dare, not over something like this. There may come a day when something comes up that merits my going to the other side, but not for this. I hope, if that day ever comes, I’ll have the courage to do what needs to be done.

  I look back at my reflection. I think my episode will go unnoticed now. As I march down the stairs, the dinner bell rings and my family gathers in the dining room. I do my best to make simple conversation. But in reality, my mind is lost in a forest of thoughts and worries that only grows denser by the second. How did things get so confusing? So complicated?

  My parents and I listen to Georgie as she explains every detail of her day to us. I hear the words but their meanings don’t penetrate the forest in my mind. I start to zone out. I’m sitting on the log, teaching Nate how to read. He’s a fast learner; I think he’ll catch on quickly-

  “Willa?” A voice echoes through the forest. It’s Mother and I find myself back at the table with my family. “Willa?”

  “I’m sorry, what? I was…day dreaming, I suppose.”

  “I asked if you weren’t hungry.”

  I look down at my mostly untouched pasta. “Not really. I had a big lunch.” I lie.

  “What was Mia so mad about?” Georgie asks me. My heart skips a beat.

  “Oh, did Mia come over? Why was she mad?” My father asks innocently. Whenever Mia comes to my house it’s usually because of something important.

  My mind is working at an incredible speed now. What’s a lie that sounds believable and they won’t question? “She’s been having family troubles lately and she needed to talk.”

  Both of my parents nod knowingly but don’t ask anything else. They’re trying to respect her privacy. That went rather well.

  After dinner, Father suggests playing a board game and Georgie and Mother agree happily. I wish I could say no, but I don’t want to arouse suspicion. The game drags by but I don’t dare tune out again, which makes it even longer. When it’s finally over, with Georgie the triumphant winner, I’m so edgy I’m about to jump out of my skin!

  I slide under my cool blankets and let my mind take over. Worries and blessings flood me. I have Mia, but I might lose Nate. I don’t think I could handle that right now. I wonder how Mia feels about what we’re doing. She said she wants to come but that doesn’t mean she approves. Maybe I showed her how things really are. Maybe she’s at home thinking how wrong our world is right now. But maybe she thinks I’ve lost my mind and wants to keep me safe. Maybe I have lost my mind. No one else seems to think anything’s wrong. What if everything that I think now I only think because I’m insane? Even if that is the case, I have to do whatever I can to help if there’s a chance that I’m sane.

  Then I remember the medicine. I hope it’s working. If it makes her worse I don’t know how I’ll continue. It would crush and destroy Nate if anything happened to her. I feel like I’m really starting to get to know him. I detest the selfishness in me as I think that a catastrophe like Leila not making it would close him up, perhaps for good. I did what I could to help her, but will it be enough?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Nathan

  My heart is racing, my legs are numb, wet and cold but it doesn't bother me as I leap through the river. I'm running at full speed. I want to get there before her this time. The crazy smile on my face feels idiotic and just plain stupid. I can't help it though, I'm finally gonna see Willa without some horrible risky task at hand. It's just a normal visit. But really, what is a normal visit to the property I’m banned from to see the girl I’m disgraced for knowing?

  Though there's still the possibility of getting caught but I feel like a pro at this point. We've been doing this for almost two weeks now and I don't think anyone suspects anything. I try not to get too comfortable, still not letting my guard down, always expecting and prepared for the worst. But it's hard to be cautious when I'm so big headed over my successful visits with Willa. I still take precautions, my shotgun is strapped to my back but I plan on returning it to its hiding place deep in the woods tonight.

  As I run, I hear more sounds than usual. Mostly I hear the scatter of animals running at the sight and sound of me. I don't understand why when I'm hunting, there's nothing, and when I'm not, they’re everywhere. The sounds of sprinting deer, dashing rabbits, and birds taking flight are grabbing my attention. I want to stop and switch to quiet, stealthy, hunter mode. But instead I stick with my obnoxious, trampling through the dead forest carelessly mode.

  I can't wait to tell Willa that the medicine worked! Leila was well recovered this morning before I left. Gabe was even getting her to laugh.

  How will I thank her for it? She had no part in my sick, unhealthy family and yet, she still went to extremes to help. The thought makes me smile again. I may have turned her into a thief but at least she's a really good one.

  I reach my side of The Wall and make my way up the tree. I lean over the top to try and spot the ladder, hoping it's not there. I'm in luck. I start to make myself comfortable on the top of The Wall when I see I didn't beat Willa by much. She hops out of the woods, dragging her feet and struggling through the thick mud. Her clumsy posture makes me laugh too loud. She looks up at me and her frustrated glare quickly turns upside down into a delighted smile.

  "Are you making fun of me?" she calls up to me as she moves the ladder.

  "No, I would never do that." I reply with another laugh as I climb down, "Willa, it worked! The medicine did the trick. She's recovering quicker than I ever expected! Thank you so much! I'll do anything you want to repay you!" Without thinking, I scoop her up in my arms, lifting her right off her feet and spinning her around once before letting her go.

  She’s laughing and blushing when I release her. She looks thoughtful for a second before answering.

  "You have no idea how happy and relieved I am that it worked!" Suddenly, her smile drops but she picks it right back up. "And I know exactly what you can do to pay me bac
k."

  I’m surprised she thought of something so fast. But I’m so happy and I didn’t lie when I say I'll do anything. "Let’s hear it."

  She inhales deeply before replying. "Okay...I need you to just...have an opened mind for a moment." Her voice is shaky as her smile fades again. I tilt my head in confusion.

  "Okay. I can do that."

  "You promise? Because I swear it's not what it's going to look like." Her voice is off now and it makes me edgy.

  "I promise..."

  "Okay. So before I tell you, I want to know..." she can tell I've stopped listening. She quickly follows my gaze behind her, spinning her head around.

  I can't believe my eyes. Am I seeing things? I must be losing it. Walking out through the same path that Willa made as she stumbled through the woods before is a girl. She must be stalking us. She stops dead in her tracks when she sees me. My mouth hangs open and my eyes grow wide with shock. She must have followed Willa out here. This is it, we're dead. My first thought of escape is to drag Willa back up the ladder with me. I have to get out now but I can't leave Willa here to take the blame alone. I can hide her on my side. We can both hide. We can just wait it out for a couple days and no one would be the wiser when it comes to looking for us. I shudder and grab Willa's arm as I slowly step back.

  "No, no. Nathan, it's okay." She assures me, pulling her arm free of my grip.

  My eyes quickly flicker down to her and then right back up to the stranger who hasn't moved an inch. My mind goes blank. Why is Willa defending her? Why is she so calm? This is bad! This could be life or death here. If she-

  I look back down at Willa again. My eyebrows narrow as I figure it out. First my head fills with fear but is quickly replaced with anger and betrayal.

  "You brought her here?" My voice is a whisper before it’s a shout, "You brought her here!" I shudder again, taking three steps away from Willa, still not taking my eyes off the frozen stranger.

  "Nate, it's okay! She's not going to give us away.” She explains but I’m not listening. My whole body is shaking. I feel my hands tighten into fists as my head grows hot. I take off towards the ladder. I’m half way up when I feel Willa tugging on my leg.