Restoring Us

by Fabiola Francisco

  “I know. I know we will end up living together, too, but I also don’t want to have to deal with the speech from them and the importance of focusing on school. When we graduate we will move in together and begin that new chapter of our lives. I promise.” I hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go. “Besides, you stay over a lot anyways. Stay tonight. You won’t regret it, promise,” I said giving him a passionate kiss. Just because I was hesitant about living together didn’t mean I wasn’t committed to our relationship 100 percent.

  “Oh, I know I won’t regret it.” His voice was husky, his green eyes darkening with lust.

  We really were happy. I know our relationship was real, but once I got sick he couldn’t stay by my side. He was my best friend. He was the love of my life. How do you bounce back from that? I guess you never really do. Maybe once your heart breaks, it can never be fully restored.

  So, what the hell am I doing going out with Matt tomorrow night? I was caught by surprise by his assertiveness. Katie obviously mentioned he had gone to my parents’ house to see me, but I wasn’t expecting him to ask me out right then and there. And I definitely wasn’t expecting to say yes. But I had just run into Ethan outside the bathroom, and I was pissed. I knew that would make him jealous. I’m still not sure what it means that I wanted to make him jealous, but I did. I’m not proud of it.

  Katie told me how he stormed out of my house when he found out. Serves him right. He can’t expect us to get back together just because I moved back to Chicago.

  I get to the museum and take a deep breath before walking in. I am more than prepared for this interview and to impart the knowledge I gained during my time in Europe. “Good morning. My name is Ava Evans. I’m here for an interview at 11:00 with Ms. Webber,” I say, smiling confidently to the girl at the front desk.

  “Hi! Elle Webber will be out shortly to greet you. I’m Stacy. Nice to meet you,” she says nicely. She’s young, probably a year or so younger than me. I learn she’s the receptionist for the gallery. She seems really nice, like someone I could be friends with. That’s comforting.

  “Thank you.”

  A few minutes later, a tall woman with long, brown hair and chestnut colored eyes greets me. “Ava? Hi, it’s so nice to meet you. I’m Elle Webber,” she says with a warm smile.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Ms. Webber. Thank you for taking the time to see me.”

  “Absolutely. Please, call me Elle. After looking over your resume and amazing experience abroad, I had to meet you. Please, follow me into my office and we’ll begin.”

  She is so welcoming. I feel right at home amongst the beautiful art pieces hanging on the walls and exotic statues decorating the open space. I walk into her office, and it has an inviting charm to it. She has a wooden desk topped with glass, two acrylic chairs on one side and a bigger leather chair on the other side where she sits. I see a few pieces of abstract art hung throughout her office that pop out over the powder blue walls. I notice they are signed by her and assume it is her work.

  They’re beautiful with vibrant colors that have stroked the canvas in a delicate yet passionate way. I always love to interpret the artist’s feelings and thoughts through their work. You can usually tell when an artist was angry or upset, or happy and loving, by how hard the strokes appear on the canvas and the color choice. On another wall, I notice a simple painting of a woman’s silhouette. It’s beautiful, just the outline of her portrait painted in black, long lashes, and red lips. Its simplicity is powerful. Also signed by Elle.

  “Your work is amazing. Absolutely beautiful,” I say admiring them.

  “Thank you. I love to paint, but I usually just do it for myself or loved ones. Please take a seat.” She motions to one of the acrylic chairs in front of her desk.

  We get lost in conversation. The interview feels more like a conversation with an old friend than a job interview. We discuss my schooling and training, my trip to Europe, and even Elle’s background. Turns out she also took a trip abroad when she was younger. She understands the importance of hands-on learning and the knowledge gained from an experience like that. Elle tells me she has a few more interviews scheduled and will get to me soon after, but it seems promising.

  I leave feeling confident and much happier than when I woke up this morning. For the first time since I got back, I feel hopeful that moving back to Chicago was the right decision. I have struggled a lot in the past few years, and that has changed my outlook on life. I know how quickly it could end and how painful living could be. I had to grow up a lot faster than some of my friends. While they were out partying their senior year of college, I was sick at home, battling cancer and getting weaker each day due to my treatments.

  I lost a lot of weight. I lost my natural glow. I lost my hair. I lost the love of my life. And I lost the possibility of ever having children. But despite everything I lost, I gained a new insight to life. I chose to fight and I did. When I decided to fight, I decided to follow every dream I had. Going to Europe was one of them. Working as a curator at an art gallery is another. I got a second chance at life and I decided to embrace it.

  ∞

  Tonight’s my date with Matt. The butterflies in my stomach won’t stop flying, causing nausea due to the nerves. God, I’m sad. I haven’t gone out on a date in a long time. I met guys while I was in Europe and we hung out, but I guess I knew nothing serious could come of it since I was just passing through.

  Matt is someone I went to high school with so there’s some kind of relationship already, even if I haven’t seen him in a long time. I’ll be honest, I didn’t recognize him when I first saw him at my parents’ house but he’s still not a stranger. He’s handsome. Hell, he’s hot! He has broad shoulders and strong arms. I could immediately tell he has an amazing body and a charming smile, but I’m still on the fence about dating. If I were being true to myself, I’d admit Ethan has to do with that, but I’m not ready for being honest right now. I also know Matt is more serious about this date, from what Katie has mentioned.

  I’m on my way to meet Katie for a girl’s afternoon of pampering. I could use some relaxation. We are getting our hair done and going for manicures and pedicures after. We’re celebrating my possible new job and my choice to move forward in life.

  I walk into the salon and find Katie flipping through some style magazines. She’s probably thinking of what to do next with her hair. She gets bored so easily.

  “Hey,” I say walking up to her.

  “Well, hello there. I guess this time I’m the punctual one,” she says smugly.

  “Yes. That’s a first for you,” I say, laughing.

  “Whatever. Are we going to argue about punctuality or get all made up? I’m excited for a change!” She shrieks. Katie is always excited for a change.

  “Alright. Did you pick out what you’re going to get done?”

  “Yes! You’re going to love it!” She says excitedly.

  She takes a seat with her hairdresser, Julie, as I sit with another one. I tell her I just want a trim and some layers in the front. Ever since my hair grew out again, I refuse to cut it short. I loved my hair long and losing it turned me upside down. I exhale deeply, shaking off the memory.

  Katie is sitting in the chair next to me talking animatedly to Julie, showing her different dye colors, highlights and lengths. God only knows what she’ll walk out of here with.

  After explaining to my hairdresser what I want, I relax while she washes my hair. I finally release the tension I’ve been holding and clear my mind of any thoughts that have unpacked and made themselves at home in my brain and enjoy the head massage and shampooing.

  My hair looks absolutely gorgeous when my hairdresser finishes. It’s still long, but looks healthy. My blonde hair looks like it has been highlighted naturally with some streaks shining brighter than others. The layers frame my face perfectly, bringing out my hazel eyes. She’s blown it dry, leaving the ends loosely curled. I stare at myself in the mirror in awe.

  “You
look absolutely gorgeous!” Katie snaps me out of my trance.

  “Thanks,” I say, smiling. I turn to take a closer look at her. Her brown hair has been transformed with honey highlights. She’s cut it shorter, lightly sweeping her shoulders, and she’s cut layers all around, making her look older and wilder at the same time. It’s a combination of messy layers and perfect styling. “Your hair looks great! It’s like wild child meets hot Hollywood starlet.”

  Katie laughs at my expression but seems pleased. “Thanks! I needed a change. I want to keep my edge, but I also want to seem mature. You know I like my men a little older; therefore, I need to look like the woman who can please them properly. Of course, I am that woman, regardless of my hair.” She winks at me and laughs. I can’t help but laugh with her. Katie has always acted older than her age, from getting us our fake IDs when we were 17 to dating some men ten years older than her. She’s beautiful and she knows it, as well as all the men she crosses. “Besides, it’s just hair. It’ll grow back, and I can change it again when I get bored.”

  “Yeah, just hair,” I say, thinking back to a time when hair wasn’t just hair to me. It was so much more. It was my security and my damnation, reminding me of what I had lost.

  Katie eyes me carefully, probably reading my mind, and then she links her arm in mine and leads the way. “Come on. No sad thoughts today.”

  We walk over to get our manicures and pedicures and sit side-by-side chatting. “So…” Katie begins and I look over at her expectantly, waiting for her to continue. “Now that you have an amazing job and you’re going on a date with a hot guy tonight, what are your plans for your living situation?”

  “I haven’t gotten the job yet,” I correct her and she looks at me amused.

  “Ava, you know you have that job in the bag. You just need to wait for the official phone call.”

  “When they call, then we can say I have an amazing job,” I smile. I know she’s right, though. The interview went better than perfect, and I know it’s a matter of time before Elle calls me.

  “Okay. How about where you’re going to live? You’ve been living away from your parents’ house for many years, and two of those years you were abroad in Europe. Are you planning on finding somewhere to live? Your room is still there for you at the apartment. It would be awesome to be roommates again!”

  It’s true that our parents bought us that apartment when we went to college and I had to move back to my parents’ house once I got diagnosed, but I just assumed Katie got used to living alone. I had thought about moving out on my own soon, but it hadn’t crossed my mind that I had the possibility of moving back into my old apartment. It would be awesome to live with Katie again; we always had so much fun, but it would also bring back a lot of memories of my past.

  “Yeah, it would! I guess I just assumed you were happy living alone. I was planning on apartment hunting soon. I love my parents, but I’ve been on my own for too long.”

  “Okay, so…do you want to be my roommate again? I feel like I’m asking you on a date. God, you’re going to make me beg aren’t you?” Leave it to Katie to make something so simple sound so ridiculous. I try to stifle my laughter, but I can’t. I laugh so hard that my manicurist scowls at me for jerking my hands.

  “Yes, Katie. I want you to beg. Oh please, Ava.” I can’t help it. I am bent over laughing, my nails probably ruined, but I don’t care. I peek over at Katie, and she’s smiling proudly, suppressing her own laughter.

  “Damn straight! By the way, now you’ve ruined your nails,” she says trying to sound annoyed, but her eyes are dancing with glee. “I’m taking this as a yes and will be packing your room tonight while you’re on your date. I’m so excited! We’re reunited!”

  “Sounds good. This will be awesome! Thank you,” I say sincerely.

  “You don’t need to thank me. It’s your room and your apartment, too,” Katie says. What she doesn’t realize is that she’s making this adjustment so much easier for me. She’s my best friend. She’s been by my side since we were little girls. Her support is never ending, and I don’t think it would be so easy to be back here if she weren’t here with me.

  We finish our manicures, mine took a little longer since I ruined them with my fit of laughter, and head back to my house talking about the move, what I’m going to wear on my date tonight, and where we are going. All I know is that Matt is picking me up at 8:00 for dinner.

  I’m starting to move forward in my life, and I know my date with Matt will help with that too. It is only a date, but the fact that I’m going on a date is a huge step.

  Chapter 6

  Ava

  “What are you going to wear? I say you wear that black mini dress you have in your closet with strappy sandals,” Katie says, jumping off my bed and going into the closet to get said dress. It’s a tight, black, sleeveless mini dress with a high collar that wraps around my neck I’ve worn before. In fact, I wore it for the last birthday I celebrated with Ethan before I got sick, my 21st. I haven’t worn it since. We are back at my house after our girl’s day so I could get ready for my date. Katie insisted on staying and helping me. I usually welcome her ideas, but I refuse to wear that dress.

  “I don’t think that’s appropriate for a fancy restaurant in downtown Chicago,” I say trying not to think about the last time I wore that dress.

  “You look hot when you wear it. I remember seeing it on you. Come on!” Katie whines like a little girl. That’s the voice she uses when she’s getting ready to win a battle. Here we go.

  “Not for tonight, Katie. I was thinking of wearing this green dress.” I say showing her a short, green flare dress. It has small cap sleeves and scoop neckline. It hugs my upper body perfectly, and the lower portion flares out into a short skirt.

  “That’s pretty, but I really think this black dress would be perfect.” God, she can be a pain in my ass sometimes. “Oh! I remember now. You wore this dress for your 21st birthday,” she says with an “oh shit” expression plastered on her face. “Whatever, Ava. You can’t not wear a dress you look smoking hot in because it reminds you of him.”

  “I know, but I’m wearing the green dress,” I say firmly.

  I remember that birthday all too clearly.

  “Be ready by 7:00 PM,” Ethan said.

  “Where are we going?” I asked, nervous about his plans for the night. Both he and Katie wanted to throw a huge party for me, but I didn’t want that. I had been feeling tired and just wanted go out somewhere quieter. I had had a fake ID since I was 17 years old, so I knew what clubs were like and had drunk in the past. I wasn’t new to the nightlife just because I was turning 21.

  “It’s a surprise. Wear this.” He said grabbing the black dress from my closet. “And pair it with these heels. They’ll be fun for later. Surprise me with what you wear underneath.” He winked and left my apartment so I could get ready.

  He picked me up in a limo later that night. Ethan was wearing a perfectly fitted black suit, a white button down shirt with the top button undone, and light blue pocket square. I expected to see other people inside when I saw the size of the car, but it was just he and I. He had a bottle of champagne and pink roses waiting for me. They reminded me of the petals he put all over my room when he asked me to prom. Ever since then, they have been my favorite flower.

  “I know you don’t want to do anything crazy, but I have something planned. Go with it,” he said smiling proudly. “By the way, you look hot. I did well in choosing that dress. Can’t wait to take it off later.”

  I rolled my eyes but was smiling. I loved him so much. “Me either. And wait until you see what’s underneath,” I whispered, leaning in for a kiss.

  I felt him smile against my mouth and before I could break the contact, he deepened the kiss. His hands went to my hair, holding me firmly in place, and his tongue licked my lips and forced them open, so he could invade my mouth with his. I moaned softly into him running my hands all over his body. I felt him harden beneath his pants, and that en
couraged me even more. We had a whole limo to ourselves. Might as well make use of that.

  He laid me down on the seat and pressed himself over me without breaking our kiss. We just continued our exploration, kissing and moaning into the silence of the limo. I really hoped that glass was sound proof.

  Ethan stopped kissing me and raised himself just enough to look at me in the eyes. “As much as I would love to continue this, I don’t want you to show up where we’re going looking ruffled and dazed. And I don’t want just a quickie either.”

  “So let’s just have the driver drive around the city all night, and we can take our time. That would be the perfect celebration for me,” I said as I lifted my hips to meet his.

  Ethan groaned and kissed me softly. “I love you so damn much, but I won’t be selfish right now. It’s your 21st birthday. That’s a big one to celebrate. We’ll have all night to make love.”

  “Fine, but just so you know, I’m not wearing any underwear,” I said, winking at him.

  He stared at me, shocked. “You’re going to drive me crazy,” he groaned.

  “Just keep that in mind when you want to prolong our stay.”

  After a few more minutes, the limo came to a stop outside a small bar hidden on an alley street. “Are we going to a bar?” I asked, confused.

  “Just trust me,” he said leading me through the door into a dark room. He kept walking in front of me holding my hand as he led me through what felt like a hallway. When we finally got to a door, he told me to close my eyes. We walked in, and I heard a switch turn on. “Open them,” he whispered into my ear, leaving a trail of chills down my body with his proximity and warm breath.

  When I did open my eyes, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. The room was decorated with small candles spread all throughout the room. Small string lights were hung loosely throughout the roof, lighting the space. There were pink roses in vases and petals spread on the tables. Soft music was playing in the background.