Restoring Us

by Fabiola Francisco

  What surprised me even more was to see my family and close friends there to celebrate with me. I looked up at Ethan. “How?... When?...” I couldn’t even formulate a proper sentence.

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I had some time on my hands. Besides, we weren’t going to let you get away without a celebration. You wanted something small and intimate, so it’s just us but we’re celebrating at an appropriate venue for your 21st birthday.”

  “I love you,” I said, kissing him before greeting everyone else. He had rented out the bar so we could have an intimate celebration. It was the best birthday I ever had, and I’ve had my share of celebrations.

  “Ava! Snap out of it. What the hell is wrong with you?” Katie says looking at me like if I’ve grown two heads.

  “Sorry. I just spaced out.”

  “No shit. I was going on and on about how perfect this date will be, and you’re lost in your thoughts.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.”

  “Were you thinking about Ethan?” Katie asks. I swear she reads minds.

  “No.” I lie, and she gives me a knowing look. “Fine. Yes, I was. I was remembering my 21st birthday when I last wore that black dress,” I confess, blushing.

  “I knew it. Once I realized when I had seen that dress on you, I figured I would lose you. Just forget about him for tonight. Enjoy your date with Matt and get to know him. Who knows, maybe you’ll really like him. It will get easier seeing Ethan and dealing with it all. And once you move back in with me, you’ll feel like you’re moving forward in your life.”

  “You’re right. But I am wearing the green dress. You can pick the shoes,” I say with a straight face. Katie laughs at my attempt to be firm and goes into my closet to choose a pair of shoes. She gave up once she realized the effect that dress has on me.

  I finally get dressed, put on my black Christian Louboutin covered platform leather pumps Katie picked out, and a gold braided necklace. She insists on doing my make-up smoky with a hint of gold eye shadow and nude lipstick. It’s more makeup than I am used to wearing, but I give her credit because it looks amazing. I’m ready to go by the time Matt arrives.

  Katie answers the door, whistling. “Well, well, well, you clean up nicely, Mr. Reilly. You look hot, but I must say not as hot an Ava.” I roll my eyes and greet Matt.

  “Hi, Matt. You already know to ignore her.”

  “She’s right, though. You look beautiful. Ready to go?” he says, reaching out his hand.

  “Yes.” I take his hand to be polite, but it feels weird holding it. It’s almost like it’s too big for my hand, like it doesn’t fit properly. I try to shrug off that feeling, knowing I’m probably still dazed from thinking about Ethan. “So, where are we going?” I ask Matt trying to start conversation as he opens the car door for me.

  “I made reservations at Spiaggia Restaurant. It’s Italian. Have you ever been there?”

  “No, I haven’t, but I love Italian. I’m sure it will be perfect.” I am relieved that we are going somewhere where memories of Ethan won’t haunt me for tonight, and I can focus on the evening.

  Matt walks over to the driver’s side and climbs into the car. We talk casually about what we did earlier in the day, and I ask him about his job. He works for his father’s company handling investments and helping entrepreneurs start up their businesses. I tell him about the interview I had yesterday and my excitement about working for an art gallery and using the knowledge I picked up while in Europe. The rest of the car ride is quiet as we listen to the music coming from his radio.

  We arrive at the restaurant and Matt gets in line for valet. I can understand why he made reservations because the valet line is long, and I see a group of people waiting outside. As soon as it’s our turn for valet, we get out of the car and walk into the restaurant.

  The restaurant is impressive. It has high ceilings, and a big open room with stone arches and columns all throughout, creating an old roman feel. There are different styles of chandeliers hung throughout it. The lighting is dim and the walls are painted a charcoal gray, keeping the romantic feel. One wall is exposed brick, breaking the pattern of gray and adding to the charm.

  “Good evening, sir, how may I help you?” an older man greets Matt.

  “Good evening, I have a reservation for two under Reilly,” Matt says formally.

  “Ah, yes, right this way. Your table is ready.” The host leads the way through the restaurant, and I get a better view of it. Another wall has damask print wallpaper in a deep red with gold. Above the bar, I see three gorgeous gold arched mirrors hanging on the wall, adding dimension to the room. There are leather stools lined up by the bar, and people talking and drinking while they wait for their table.

  The host leads us to a table near the bar, and we take our seats at a round wooden table with a tall candle burning in the center. The chairs are soft black velvet with a heavy wooden frame and big gold nail heads holding the velvet fabric in place. It really is a beautiful restaurant.

  “The food here is amazing,” Matt says, smiling proudly.

  “I’m sure it is. This restaurant is gorgeous.” I look around, taking it all in.

  “It is. It’s my favorite restaurant. My parents and I always come here for special occasions.”

  “That’s really nice,” I say feeling anxious that he views this date as more than what it really is, a first date. I grab the menu and look over the options. Everything sounds delicious, and my mouth waters as I take in all the smells of garlic, parsley and olive oil surrounding me.

  “I recommend the salmon with mushroom and asparagus risotto. That’s my favorite dish they serve. The lamb chops are also delicious.” Matt interrupts my analysis of the menu.

  “There are so many options. I think I’m going to try the short ribs with the gnocchi in Gorgonzola sauce and spinach.” As I look up at him, I notice he has a huge smile plastered on his face, and I crinkle my eyebrows confused.

  “That’s my mother’s favorite. You’ll love it,” he says happily. “I was thinking we could order a bottle of Prosecco. Is that okay?” he asks. There’s a gleam to his eyes that speaks volumes about his thoughts on where this date is going.

  “That’s perfect.” I take a deep, stabilizing breath.

  We order our food and drinks, and the waiter returns with the Prosecco for Matt to try. I’m sure he’s drunk the Prosecco plenty of times before, but he stills goes through the motions of trying it and giving his approval before the waiter serves us each a glass.

  We drink in silence for a few seconds before Matt speaks again. “Tell me all about Europe. I know we spoke a bit on Sunday at your parents’ house, but I would love to know about what you saw and learned. I love Europe, but I’ve only ever gone for short trips, spending a couple of weeks in a country. I haven’t been able to truly live the culture. It must have been amazing.”

  “It truly was. I always dreamed of going, but I didn’t want to stay in five star hotels and do the tourist thing. I had already gone as a tourist with my family. This time I wanted to immerse myself into the culture and lifestyle. I decided backpacking was the best way. I stayed in hostels and met amazing people along the way. It was different at first. You know how we live here. We have a certain way of presenting ourselves. In Europe, no one cares if your family belongs to a country club and if your shoes cost you more than their monthly salary. I learned there are more important things in life than the price tag on your clothes.” Matt listens attentively, nodding and smiling at all the right times. For some reason, I’m not sure he gets that last part, though.

  “That’s wonderful. What did you do in each country?” He asks, genuinely intrigued.

  I share with him all my experiences and adventures meeting people, going on tours, visiting cathedrals, art museums, and talking to locals about the history of the art that surrounded each city and town. I tell him about my trips by train and the freedom I felt traveling with no set plan or set place to sleep at night.

  Our food arrives
shortly, and we begin eating as we talk some more. It’s easy talking to Matt. We don’t dwell on serious topics, and we jump from subject to subject, sharing our taste in music, hobbies, travels, etc. It is first date conversation, and he’s made it easy to ease into the date despite the feeling that he sees this as more.

  “Ava!” I hear someone call me. I turn to the side and see Dan, Ethan’s best friend, walk towards our table. I freeze. I can’t move. I can’t breathe. I just sit there and watch him approach us. “How are you? Ethan told me you were back.” He smiles and bends down to give me a kiss on the cheek. “Are you going to say hi or just stare at me like you’ve seen a ghost?” He laughs freely.

  I blink a few times and clear my throat. “Of course. Sorry! How are you?” I stand and give him a brief hug.

  “Hi, Dan.” I hear Matt say and I’m suddenly conscious of the fact that I’m on a date with Matt and just ran into Ethan’s best friend. Talk about awkward.

  “You remember Matt, right? From high school?” I ask Dan.

  “Of course. Hey, Matt.” He nods in his direction and looks back at me with a “what the fuck?” expression. I feel the blush creep up my face and smile.

  “Hi, I’m Jess, by the way.” A tall woman with red hair and baby blue eyes says, smiling warmly.

  “I’m Ava. It’s nice to meet you,” I say, extending my hand.

  “Oh, this is Jess, my girlfriend,” Dan says, smiling at her. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. Good for him. I missed a lot while I was away.

  “He’s so bad at introductions. I’ve heard so much about you, Ava. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name.” I don’t know how to react to this. Has she heard about me from Dan or Ethan? What exactly has she heard? And so much for not thinking about Ethan tonight. No matter where I go, he follows me in some way.

  Matt clears his throat and the awkwardness of this encounter is suddenly palpable throughout the table. “Well, it was nice to meet you. Good seeing you Dan. You look good.” I say.

  “You, too. We’ll have to catch up another time. Good to see you, Matt,” Dan says with indifference as he and Jess walk away.

  I hear Jess whisper, “Ethan must be hating life right now,” before they disappear into the crowd of people.

  “Well, that was awkward.” Matt comments, seeming very uncomfortable. “I’m sure he’ll run to Ethan and tell him he just saw us.”

  “Yeah,” is all I manage to say. I know Dan, and I’m sure he will call Ethan as soon as he can. But what did Jess mean when she said Ethan must be hating life. He can’t control what I do or don’t do. He chose to leave me. Not the other way around. He gave up on us. He abandoned me when he was all I was fighting for. He might as well have killed me.

  “Well, I hope he does tell him. That way he can learn to let go and let you move on,” Matt says with a bitter tone.

  I look up at him with confusion. “What are you talking about? I haven’t seen nor spoken to Ethan in years. First time I saw him was Sunday at my parents’ house. You saw how well that went.”

  “He thinks now that you’re back, he can sweep you off your feet, but he has someone else to go against now.” I’m starting to feel like there’s more to this date than just Matt liking me.

  “This isn’t a competition, Matt. I know what happened back in high school with prom. And if the only reason we’re out tonight is to prove something to Ethan, then maybe we should leave.” Annoyance fills me at his bitter comment.

  “That’s not why I asked you out.” Matt looks nervous about where this conversation is headed. “Ava, I really like you. I kind of always have, but you were always with Ethan back in high school, even if you weren’t dating him. Honestly, no one really had a chance while he was around. Then you really started dating, and I figured there was no chance.”

  “Okay,” I murmur, suddenly very tired. We finish our meal in awkward silence and leave the restaurant a short while after. I feel guilty for not being able to spark conversation with Matt after our encounter with Dan, but I’m emotionally drained. I feel like no matter where I go or who I’m with, Ethan appears in one way or another.

  Matt gets to my house and walks me to the door. “I would love to go out again without any interruptions. I really like you. Please don’t mistake what I said about Ethan as meaning that I don’t. This isn’t a competition, but you have to know I was nervous about tonight and wondering if you would give me a chance without comparing me to him. Let me know if you want to go out again. You have my number.” He gives me a kiss on the cheek before walking back to his car.

  I walk into my house and find my brother sitting on the couch watching television in the living room. “These morons can’t even make a shot. How was your date?” He looks up at me, taking me in. “That good, huh?”

  “I don’t want to talk about it, Aiden.” I make my way towards the stairs.

  “What happened? Did he hurt you?” He asks, losing any trace of humor he had when I walked in.

  “No, no. I ran into Dan and his girlfriend. Did you know he had a girlfriend? From there on out, the date was just awkward. I even accused Matt of asking me out as some sort of competition between him and Ethan.

  “Yeah, I did. That sucks. I doubt he’d ask you out only to fuck with Ethan, although I’m sure Matt enjoyed that it did.” Aiden laughs. Seriously, people need to stop saying that Ethan cares.

  “Why would it mess with Ethan?”

  “Don’t act all naïve. You know Ethan is in love with you. The guy’s been a mess ever since you left for Europe. He regrets what he did.”

  “What the hell, Aiden? Why are you defending him? And no, I don’t know he’s in love with me. How am I supposed to know that when he left me! Why the hell are you even at mom and dad’s house?” I raise my voice at him, and he stands up and walks to me.

  He places his hands on my shoulders to calm me down before speaking. “Ava, relax. This is my house, too. I stayed to make sure you were okay after your date,” he says, sounding genuinely concerned. I’m sure my brother knows how big of a deal this was for me.

  “It may not be clear to you, but I’m telling you what I know. I’m not defending him. You’re my sister. Trust me, I kicked his ass when I ran into him the first time I saw him after he broke you. I’m just saying that you’ve got a second chance. Think about what you really want. He’s not a jerk, and you know that, even if he acted like an ass by doing what he did,” Aiden says sitting back down on the couch and returning his attention to the game he was watching when I walked in.

  I am exhausted. Being back home has been heavy on me, and when things are looking up, something tumbles down, reminding me why I left in the first place. I walk up to my room and go to sleep, hoping tonight, I don’t have another dream with Ethan.

  Chapter 7

  Ethan

  It’s been two days since I stormed out of Ava’s house. Two days since I fucked Kasey. Two days since I decided I was done messing up and was going to win Ava back. Except I’m not sure how to do that. I’m distracted at work thinking about her. How the dress fit her body, her long legs and those fucking high heels she wears that turn me on so much. Just thinking about her gets me hard.

  I also can’t help but think of the hatred I saw in her eyes towards me, and the fact that she has a date with Matt tomorrow. The thought that I may have already lost her and that I’m holding on to useless hope¸ crosses my mind and is driving me crazy.

  She looked beautiful on Sunday. I loved seeing her talk to my parents. It took me back to when things were easy, and we were in love. It was cute to watch her shuffle back and forth nervously as she spoke to them. I could imagine for a moment that she still has feelings for me, and we could fix what I broke. My mom surprised me when she stated so obviously that Ava still loves me. I don’t know if I agree with her, but I want to. She calls it mother’s intuition. I call it wishful thinking.

  I try to refocus on work. I have a meeting tomorrow with one of our biggest clients that I need to prepare
for and check in with the marketing department that everything is in order on their end. I begin looking over the financial reports again and reviewing my client’s budget to make sure we can offer them everything they want and meet their needs in reaching the consumer the best way possible but I catch my mind wandering back to Ava and have to refocus a few times. I’m finishing my reports and analysis for tomorrow’s meeting when Dan walks into my office.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” He says as he takes a seat on one of my leather chairs across from my desk, unbuttoning his suit blazer.

  “Hey, I’m going over the reports for tomorrow’s meeting with James Connell,” I say, dropping the papers on my desk and rubbing my face with my hands.

  “Well, you look like hell. Anything else going on?” He raises a questioning eyebrow. I look out the big windows of my office staring out into the vast city, wondering where Ava is right now and what she’s doing. My office is on the 24th floor, so I have a beautiful view of the city around me.

  I can hear the wind blowing harshly outside like it is finding a way to sweep everything around and turn life upside down. If only the wind would carry Ava back to me. I need to find a way to see her again, get her to listen to me. I feel desperate in an attempt to fix something I never should have broken two and a half years ago.

  “Just stressed,” I lie to Dan, but his knowing smile tells me he’s already heard that Ava’s back and about my tantrum at her house. This woman is going to ruin me. For being a big city, gossip spreads faster than a wild fire.

  “Yeah, right! Would it have to do with the fact that Ava moved back to Chicago?” He looks amused seeing me tortured over this. What an ass. Dan has been my best friend since we were kids. He started working with me a few months after I got hired. “You weren’t going to tell me she’s back? You think I’m going to let you torture yourself? I know you, Ethan. You have to let it go and stop blaming yourself.”