Finding Me

by Dawn Brazil

  As I turned, ready to tell everyone what I was certain they could hear in my thoughts, I caught sight of the wall of pictures. I stepped over to the wall. Maybe the something tugging at me lay in one of the photos.

  Upon my closer inspection of the photos, I discovered something I hadn’t noticed before. The other people in the photos were people I knew on Earth. Not just the Great Eight. Some of the people I knew on Earth cropped up in the pictures. Melissa, Amber, and Casey were all in a couple of them. I stared blankly at the photos, my head spinning.

  “Why hadn’t I noticed this before?” I turned to Chris, “You made the comment at Casey’s party that the kids here were the same on all universes. Did you know them on previous universes?”

  “Yeah, some of them I knew. I went to Whitney Young on Tierra. You didn’t.”

  “Really. Where did I go?”

  “You, Jill, and I went to Sacred Heart, a private school for girls,” Sam said in my head.

  “Sam, can you see the pictures on the wall through my eyes,” I asked, intrigued.

  “Sure can. As if I were standing in front of them myself,” she said. “Why? Is there something you need me to see?”

  “I’m not sure yet but keep looking with me, please.”

  “Okie dokie.”

  I turned to Chris again, “Do you know why I didn’t go to Young?”

  “You never have gone to a co-ed school. You’ve always attended a private school.”

  “Because of your mom,” Sam said. “You went to whatever school she worked at. She worked at all of our schools. Our moms are best friends, so I always went wherever you went. Is that important?”

  “Um…I don’t think so. Just curious.”

  I turned and looked back at the wall. The pictures had to be connected. I wasn’t a random kind of person and I wouldn’t hang these pictures on the wall just so I could look at them. I’d buy an album for that.

  “That’s true,” Chris said, standing next to me. “I wondered what made you put up the wall. You put it up a couple of days before we died. So I never got around to asking you why. But you’re right, you’re more the album type.”

  Something I hadn’t been prepared to see, however, greeted me like a giant zit on picture day: Zack. He was in all the pictures with the Great Eight. He stood in the background, barely visible, but there.

  “Chris did you know Zack?” I asked. How strange for him not to have told me that.

  “Zack, as in your dead friend Zack? No. I didn’t know him.”

  “Well, what about Zack in Tierra,” I asked. I pointed to a picture with him in it putting a bottle of Pepsi to his mouth in the background. Pointing out photo after photo that contained a picture of him in it made a sourness rise up my abdomen. “Did he go to Whitney Young with you?”

  “No. I don’t remember him.”

  “Wait. What I don’t get is if you always went to Whitney why didn’t you go there when you came to Earth? I mean why didn’t your parents send you there this time? Why are you just showing up in my junior year?”

  “We think it has something to do with you not being able to remember,” Chris answered. “Everything in this universe is just different…for everyone. We never even imagined you’d be at Whitney. It was a shot in the dark. I had to beg and plead to be able to come now.”

  He walked over to examine the picture closer. “I knew everybody. He didn’t go to Whitney Young. Can you see this picture, Joseph? Did this guy go to Young? Do you remember him in Tierra at all?” Chris asked, looking at a picture that showed the best facial view of Zack.

  “Naw, Chloe. I never saw the guy before either,” said Joseph, “and I knew everybody at Young, too.”

  “There are no coincidences. Right. Then there must be a reason Zack’s in all the pictures on this wall with us. I must have purposely put them here for us to see. I think we can go back to Earth now because I saw what I needed to see. Somehow, some way, Zack was connected to all this.”

  Though I had spoken the words, they didn’t sound right coming from my lips. How could Zack, all-American football star, the most giving person I knew, be connected to this in any capacity? His involvement, however great or small, must be positive. He couldn’t be a negative force here. He would’ve had more opportunities to hurt or even kill me than anyone else in the world. We had been close. That closeness had been the catalyst for our mothers’ belief that our relationship should progress to the next level.

  This consistently nagged at me because once I learned my true identity I blamed myself for Zack’s death. Now, I knew with certainty it had been my fault. Maybe secretly he tried to help and was murdered for his knowledge. But if he were aiding me, he would have known my true identity. Why would he not tell me? Or maybe he couldn’t and he wanted to, and that’s why he died, because he wanted to tell me he knew about my powers and previous lives.

  “Chris, is it possible for a person, a normal, to be born with the knowledge of previous universes?”

  “I’m not sure. I’ve never personally heard of it, but I can do some digging.”

  “I feel awful. I just know he died because of me. I wish you could have found me sooner…maybe he wouldn’t have had to die.”

  “Chloe, stop stressing.” He pulled me to him and wrapped his arms around me. “Don’t overthink this. We’ll find out why he’s in the pictures. We can launch our own investigation into his death. We’ll figure this out. I promise. You don’t have to carry this burden alone.”

  Chapter 26

  “How did you not know about the dance?” Emily asked. She stood at my locker with her hands on her hips, fuming. “Where have you been, CC? Me and Tee told you about it a gazillion times. Seriously.” She peered at me as if I’d just told her I bought all my clothes from Save-Mart.

  I’d been so consumed with trying to determine what happened to Zack, having a relationship with Chris, and locating the ENO, that I’d begun to neglect them again.

  She had made me promise that I’d attend the dance. This wasn’t that big of a deal, since I could convince everyone else to come and call it an informal meeting. Plus, any time I had an opportunity to flaunt Chris on my arms, it was worth it to see Casey’s face.

  I couldn’t believe my fortune when my mother agreed to allow me to drive my car to the dance. Chris had been right. Normalcy existed. So what if I became a superhero freak? I was in love with the greatest guy ever.

  As an added bonus, Ms. Graves and I had gotten closer. I didn’t call her Mom, but she felt like a mother should.

  I’d told my mother, Karen, that I’d stumbled on the information about my adoption through records that weren’t properly sealed. I never told her I knew my real mother. The potential questions would be too dangerous.

  Our relationship was as good as could be expected. I’d describe it as bearable cruelty for the moment. A noticeable softness permeated her usually cold demeanor, but still, her overbearing nature showed through at times.

  Before I met up with everyone else at the dance, I decided to visit Ms. Graves. She lived on the outskirts of Brooklyn in a renovated loft apartment in a neighborhood near Prospect Park. I wasn’t familiar with the area. Chris explained that I’d have to take the Brooklyn Battery Tunnel, something I’d never had to do before, to get to her. He showed me how to use the GPS system built into my car. I plugged the address in and it lead me right to her house.

  The visit: short but awesome. She showed me photographs of my deceased father. She explained, “Chloe, some things can’t be changed no matter how many lives you live. There were certain events that would have to take place in order for the future to unfold in its proper manner. Your father’s death was one such event. He was a great man. I wish he could have seen you grow.”

  “I’m certain he did see,” I said. “I’m sure the universe has its way of working these things out also. I’m positive he’s proud of both of us and how everything has turned out.” I wasn’t certain my words were true, but I meant them to comfort her
.

  As I made my way back on the road, I thought about how great the past couple weeks had been. There were no sightings from the ENO, no cryptic messages, no midnight rendezvous in other universes. Now I had to learn to trust people again…to become a normal again.

  I even surmised a theory that the ENO didn’t want to kill us. Maybe the ENO had another agenda and destroying us and the rest of humanity wasn’t his primary concern.

  “Maybe he gave up,” I told Chris. He’d found this idea hysterical. He assured me the ENO would never give up. He still intended to kill all eight of us and then the rest of the world. His silence only meant he was making decisive steps.

  I tried to recall if I’d ever met him in a previous life, but I couldn’t remember. My memory remained a tricky thing. I could recall some events but not others. I knew that eventually I would regain my full memory. I could wake one day and everything be as clear to me as everyone else.

  I turned onto the four-lane highway that would lead me to the school for the dance. I cruised along while Coldplay sang of paradise from my iPod.

  A distance from the school still, a black Lexus pulled up out of nowhere behind me. This person rode my tail, right on my bumper for quite some time. God, people are so rude. I rolled down my window and waved him around, since he seemed to be in such a hurry. I wasn’t going to be rushed.

  The guy didn’t go around me. He stayed on my bumper like an idiot. Don’t panic. Think.

  I let off the gas, slowing, hoping to make the person comfortable with going around me. It didn’t. He remained behind me, riding too close. I should have been able to explain in detail how he looked. But I couldn’t. I thought it was a man because of the short hair but that was all. No other features were clear. The tint on his car was the darkest I’d ever seen. I was certain it was illegal. If it wasn’t, I’d get mine done tomorrow.

  I stole a quick glance back. Still there. This person had serious issues. I accelerated. They could be a slow driver. Maybe it was an older man or woman, nervous about the curves in the road. I wasn’t convincing myself. I sped up a fraction to give them room to move. And me to breathe.

  They sped up, too, matching my speed. My stomach did a flip. It was him. I can feel his anger burgeoning. How? My heart beat frantically. I could feel myself descending into the depths of a paralyzing fear. Snap out of it, Chloe.

  I glanced in my mirror to discover his distance from my car. I sucked in a loud breath. Too close, much too close.

  Fear, a familiar friend, gripped me. I had to call Chris. “I need help, Chris.” I waited. No one came to my rescue.

  The creeper continued his relentless pursuit of my car. A lump the size of Manhattan entered my throat. My dad had installed a voice-activated phone. “Call Chris.” I ordered it.

  “No service, out of range,” it answered back.

  “No!” I shouted at it. “Call Chris.” I glanced in my rearview mirror again, frantic. The creeper tarried behind me.

  “No service out of range,” it answered again.

  “Call Chris,” I said repeatedly. Tears narrowed my view of the road. I swerved wildly, trying to maintain the car at its ridiculous speed.

  The creeper sped up but was finally going around me. Relieved, I exhaled a deep breath and wiped the tears from my face with the back of my hand. Here I go, freaked for nothing.

  My responses to everyday situations were skewed. I needed to react like one of the normals. Because some people were plain people. And people were rude and simple at times, like the creeper coming up beside me.

  I glanced over as he went by on the opposite side of the road. When I looked over, the window was down and I had a clear view of the person driving. He glared back at me.

  The moment suspended itself in time. Something I’d known deep down, not a revelation but the truth. Something I hadn’t wanted to believe. I knew him. I’d always known it. But because I didn’t trust myself with my new abilities, I discounted what I felt.

  Zack was driving the car.

  He was the ENO.

  Chapter 27

  I pressed my eyes closed tight. Like I had when I’d almost been road kill a couple weeks ago. I needed to transport myself somewhere else. Anywhere else.

  When I unclenched them, the open road stretched before me. I dared a glance to the left. Zack nodded with malice-filled eyes. He rode alongside my car with no other vehicles in sight.

  Except now, he smiled. A sinister grin. Sweat burst on my brow. It reminded me of all the times we had been alone. If he had smiled like this then, I could’ve easily suspected him. Truthfully, he hadn’t. He peered at me as if he had every intention of killing me now. A shiver of fear tore through me.

  I gasped as he revved his engine and catapulted his car into mine. I sped up, out of the path of his vehicle. Within seconds, he tailed me. I forced my foot to the floor, trying to maintain control of my car but needing to move faster. Go faster. Shit. Go faster…

  My attempt to outrun him failed. In a matter of seconds, he was there. His intent clear: to force me off the road. And this time, he made contact.

  My body jolted to the side , smacking my head against the driver’s side window, as his car sideswiped mine. Sharp pains shot up my neck and the back of my head. Blood trickled like an insect crawling across my skin from a wound I couldn’t see in my scalp. I pushed past the agony.

  I diverted my eyes from the road ahead to look behind me. Where did he go?

  When I looked forward, a large light pole thrust in my car’s path now threatened me. I rammed my foot on the brakes. My body strained against my seatbelt.

  I needed to produce my powers. Now. Scared and uncertain,, I closed my eyes in anguish. I needed a miracle. When I reopened them, the downed pole was no longer in sight. I stopped the car on the side of the road. Had I regenerated to safety? My body slouched forward in exhaustion.

  It was over.

  “Chris, I need you.” Tears blurred my vision as I reached for my bag. I grabbed my compact to assess my injuries. I cringed at the thought of what I must look like. Yeah, I don’t think I’ll be going to any dance tonight.

  An awful screech arose behind me. My head snapped up. I dropped the compact to the floor. My stomach flipped, uneasy, not wanting to see what I knew was a fact. I hadn’t gone anywhere. A few yards, but I remained alone on an open road with no one in sight.

  No power, no phone and Zack – the ENO, poised to strike again.

  I scrambled to restart my car. To get out of his way. My car took-off within seconds of him nearly hitting it. He, the person I burdened myself nonstop about for the past couple months.

  The person I had thought was my friend.

  The person intent on killing me now.

  I knew, despite my fear, I moved much too slowly. His car moved much faster than mine. I braced myself knowing the next ram from his vehicle could come at any second. My eyes teared up again and I winced in pain from the injury to my throbbing head.

  After all his, “I’m not your enemy” crap, this is what it came down to. He wanted me dead from the start. I guess he only needed the right scenario. Me driving by myself, a great distance from everyone else, must have been too perfect an opportunity to pass up.

  My entire body shook with fear.

  I checked my mirror to see that he approached fast from my left. Somehow, his tint didn’t appear as dark and I could see his eyes. His intense glare and strength would have been admirable if he hadn’t been trying to kill me. Where did that strength come from? I never saw it before. If he could harness this strength, could I? If he could be this other person, couldn’t I be someone else, too? More appropriately, could Chloe?

  Realization sank in. I was Chloe, but I was also Amanda. She wouldn’t cower in her car. She wouldn’t sit and whimper for help. No. She would want him off her tail and she would make him move.

  I slammed my foot on the brake. My car skidded to the left and came to a halt in the middle of the open road. The ENO hadn’t expected th
is reaction and didn’t have a chance to stop. Metal and metal merged and sounded one large clap of thunder as his vehicle collided with mine.

  My head smacked the steering wheel. “Awww,” I screamed in pain. The impact caused my lip to split and a trickle of blood fell from my nose to my gray pencil slacks. I gawked at the stain that lay on my pants, then in my mirror at the ENO. How clearly I could see him now.

  And I knew he recognized me. The real me.

  The force of the collision left my vehicle dangling on top of the guardrail. My car’s indecision on whether to topple over the rail was brief. My car broke loose from the guardrail. It made a blistering descent toward a cluster of overgrown trees that ran along the side of the road below. I stomped the brakes to the floor which did nothing since my car didn’t touch the ground.

  The car continued its downward spiral.

  I wrenched my body forward from its curled position. My heart nearly stopped as I spotted the gigantic tree my car barreled toward. I have to jump. My aching body wrestled the door. Useless. It wouldn’t budge.

  I pushed the door again, straining and crying out. Nothing worked. My body screamed, wanting me to succumb to the pain and fear. But I stood resolute. I’m not dying.

  “Stop!” I threw my right hand up toward the tree as the car catapulted toward it.

  The car skidded to the right in midair, just barely missing the large tree, and landing gently on the ground.

  I sat motionless, gasping for air and shocked at what I’d done. The pain in my body was a reminder that I couldn’t sit and think about what happened. I had to do something. Now.

  I ignored the pain. My only option. I pushed myself through the driver’s side window. My body raked over the shattered glass, pieces of which lodged in my thigh, my shin, and my ankle. Pain seared through me at an accelerated rate. However, something else existed in that pain: strength, determination.

  Zack, in his car, was obviously surprised by my reaction.

  I balled my right hand into a fist and pointed it at his vehicle. Unspeakable anger swelled in my chest. With my hands clenched, I pulled his car down the ravine. He sat dazed and unmoving in it. Once hiscar rested near my own, I flung my hands up. Blue light shot from my fingers like streaks of lightening bolting through the sky.