Booze O'clock

by Bijou Hunter

  “You’re sexier than shit with those socks on,” Chipper says, already strolling toward me with a penis ready for another round. “Like how in pornos the chicks never take off their fucking shoes.”

  “I’m a freak,” I mumble, sad suddenly. “A weirdo with socks on.”

  Chipper tugs them off my feet and throws them at my head. “Stop being dramatic. You’re fucking perfection. and I’m not just saying that because you’re flashing your pussy at me.”

  Grinning, I rest my feet on the bed; keeping my knees wide open to allow him easy access.

  “Your hair is a mess,” I murmur. “As if a crazy woman went to town on it.”

  “Oh, there’s no denying she held on tight and rode me as if I was a fucking stallion,” he says, leaning forward and kissing each of my knees.

  “I’m not afraid.”

  “I know. Your face is as open as your legs.”

  Tightly cupping his face, I stare straight into his rich brown eyes. “I love you. I don’t care if it’s too soon or if I’m desperate to love someone after losing my mom. I don’t care if loving you makes any sense. I just know I do, and I won’t let you leave me. If you try to escape, I’ll do you like Left Eye did to that football player when he cheated on her. Do you understand?”

  “I only ask if you burn down our house that you save the cats,” he says and brushes my lips with his. “Oh, wait, that’s right. Since you and I are forever, our house and cats are safe.”

  “When you say forever, is that your penis talking?” I ask, winking at Little Chipper.

  “My dick only cares about the now. My heart knows you’re forever,” he says in a honey-smooth voice I feel down to my bones. “It knew right away when I saw you in Salty Peanuts. My head came along for the ride at first. Now it’s fully on board.”

  “Because you love me?” I ask, tempting fate by saying the magic words that make most men flee. Or so I’ve been told.

  “Yes, because I love you.”

  “Does your penis love me too?” I ask, staring between my legs as the head of his anaconda taps my thigh.

  “Only if you’ll call it a ‘dick’ or ‘cock.’”

  “How about I call it ‘chopper’? I heard that slang before. So how about Chipper’s chopper?”

  His grin tells me he’s a fan. “I’m going to kiss your lips, and then your tits, and then your pussy and then my chopper is going to fuck away your worries.”

  “That sounds great, but I have no worries. I’m free thanks to you.”

  “Promise me,” he whispers against my lips, “that you’ll embrace that freedom once the booze wears off.”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his hips, I stare straight into his hypnotic gaze. “I swear I’ll hold onto this feeling with everything I am.”

  Chipper’s smile is a work of art, and it’s all for me. There’s power in his happiness. I can find strength in him to embrace the avalanche of opportunities crashing down on me. A man like Chipper is a gift I never imagined finding. I’m ready to fight for him.

  CHIPPER

  Mistress Booze keeps Tatum relaxed for hours. Just as I predicted, she giggles and wiggles and makes the best silly fucking noises. She also nearly breaks my neck when I go down on her. Coming as hard as she did on the couch downstairs, Tatum slams her knees shut, and I need all my natural strength to break free.

  “It never felt so good when I did it alone,” she says, wrapping her legs around my waist again and refusing to let go. “I want you inside me.”

  “I don’t need to be told twice, Breezy.”

  It’s a crime against nature for sex to feel this good. How can I ever leave this bed when my cock and Tatum’s pussy make the best fucking couple in the history of fucking?

  Even soaking wet and, oh, so willing, her pussy puts up a fight. I try sliding into her body, but her tight muscles shut the door and lock it on me. Tatum might beg to be fucked, but her body closes up shop.

  Inch by inch, I claim her pussy. Tatum’s wiggling hips certainly help, but I have to struggle to get her body to open up in the way she did on the couch.

  “I think I pulled a muscle,” I whisper, sending Tatum into hysterics.

  Her laughter applies more pressure on my dick, and I think she might strangle the fucking thing.

  “Breezy, take a deep breath and exhale slowly,” I say, propping myself over her. “This is a battle you can’t win.”

  Giggling harder, she makes the entire process more difficult. Her squirming does cause her tits to bounce fetchingly. I focus on her hard, pink nipples while working my dick in and out of her velvet vise.

  “You’re so sexy,” she says, stroking my face. “Your eyes are so dark and warm. Oh, that feels good.”

  Arching her back, Tatum groans deep in her chest. Just like that, her pussy relaxes. Before I get too comfortable, her nails come out like a cat’s, and she scratches my chest.

  “You’re a god. A beast,” she says breathlessly. “My body belongs to you. I’m so close. Make me come, Chipper. I don’t know how to make it happen. Do it for me.”

  My hips refuse to hurry her toward the finish line. Thrusting slowly and deeply, I crave every moment of buildup to her explosive moment. Her nails dig deeper into my chest as her body flushes bright pink and breaks out in sweat. Breathing faster, she lifts her hips, wanting more. NOW! She’s unwilling to wait another moment for the pleasure she knows is so fucking close.

  When Tatum comes, her ecstasy slams into me. Her tight pussy clenches, slamming me with the same powerful sensations she feels. The pleasure is too much and sends me over the edge. I have no power to stop myself. Her orgasm is too powerful, and I’m lost in the same blinding waves of desire as Tatum. Our moans echo through the otherwise silent house, and I struggle not to collapse exhausted on top of her shaking body.

  Wrapping her in my arms, I still move inside her long after the last drop of cum fills her. I study her face, finding her watching me in awe. I don’t feel like a fucking badass, though. I’m like a scared virgin. Sex has never been this amazing before. Going rogue, my body doesn’t belong to me when I’m inside Tatum. Insatiable, it demands more, unsatisfied even after such an amazing fuck.

  Based on the way her pussy tightens possessively around my hardening cock, I suspect Tatum’s body is nowhere near finished either.

  When I thrust harder and deeper, my breezy smiles and licks her lips. No, we’re not done by a long shot.

  10—TATUM

  I don’t want to get up. Ever. I don’t even want to roll over to my side. Face down on the pillow with my pale freckled ass for the world to see is how I want to live the rest of my life. Chipper can’t move either. My foot rests on his warm leg, keeping me from freezing.

  Then Chipper reaches down and yanks the blanket over us. Now I’m covered up and warm, so I’m pretty certain this is where I will live for the rest of my life.

  “Are you hungry?” Chipper asks in a muffled voice.

  Without opening my eyes, I whisper, “We just ate a few hours ago.”

  “No, we ate twelve hours ago. It’s tomorrow now. The sun is out. The birds are chirping. People are out and about.”

  “What’s your point?”

  “I don’t have one. No, wait, I do. It’s my job to keep you from starving to death. I need to protect my woman from famine.”

  Snickering, I refuse to open my eyes. “I’ll die from dehydration long before I starve. You worry too much.”

  “In that case, shut up and go back to sleep. When you wake up later, make me feed you. It’s my duty as your man.”

  “Okay.”

  We fall silent for what feels like only a few minutes. Except time must have passed because my bladder now screams for relief in the same way my vagina begged for orgasms the night before.

  I lift my head from the pillow to find the sun in the afternoon position. Next to me, Chipper sleeps on his back with his long, muscular left leg hanging off the bed and his dick relaxing on his righ
t thigh. I take a long moment to wonder how I fit such a monster snake in my body. Finally, I force my tired ass out of bed.

  In the bathroom, I pee for what feels close to an hour. Then I step into his stone shower and under the hot water.

  “That’s the magic,” I whisper, smiling as the heat washes away my fatigue and leaves me refreshed.

  Minutes later, I’m out of the shower while Chipper remains unmoved. I walk to the bed and lean over his splendid body. Dripping water on his chest from my wet hair, I watch him slowly wake.

  “Hello, gorgeous,” I murmur and kiss his forehead. “Get the heck up so we can prepare for your family’s arrival.”

  “My family doesn’t love me like sleep does.”

  “Sleep doesn’t love you like I do, and I want you to get up.”

  “Are you still naked?” he asks, opening his eyes just enough to check my state of undress.

  “Yes. My nipples and crotch are too sensitive for clothes. I figure I’ll go commando for a while.”

  “I might have sucked them senseless.”

  “So, so much. Looks like I might need to trim my nails,” I say and caress the scratches on his chest. “You might want to get peroxide on those too.”

  “Did you enjoy last night?” Chipper asks and takes my hand in his.

  I move his hand to the spot between my legs. “Do you feel how swollen and tender I am? That’s a woman very much content with her first night of the sex.”

  “The sex,” he says and snorts. “You’re so odd. It’s one of the reasons I love you.”

  “And your ability to get your lazy butt out of bed is one of the reasons why I love you.”

  Chipper groans loudly and full of drama while rolling out of bed. “I don’t wanna get up.”

  “You said you would feed me.”

  Grinning, he rubs his face and then his head until he’s a mess. “Too bad we’re having people over for pizza, or I’d order us something to eat in bed. I like you naked.”

  “I’ll be naked again in a few hours after everyone’s gone for the evening.”

  “Yes, you will,” he says, standing and giving my cheek a kiss. “Once I brush my teeth, I’m going to tango with your tonsils, Breezy.”

  I sit on the bed and wrap a sheet around my chilling skin. Chipper hums while in the bathroom. He emerges wearing only a smile.

  “No more,” I whisper, staring at his chopper.

  “No worries. I think you broke my dick last night,” he says, cupping my cheek. “Good girl.”

  “I did my best.”

  Chipper walks to a nearby door, opening it to reveal a deep closet. “When you’re ready to share a bedroom, I have plenty of space for the slim pickings you call a wardrobe.”

  “I don’t need more clothes.”

  “Yes, you do,” he says, emerging in a robe with another one hanging from his arm. “It gets fucking cold in Tennessee, and nothing you own is ready for snow and ice.” Chipper stops at the bed and gestures for me to stand. “No need for us to get dressed when we’ll just strip down again in the hot tub. This will keep you warm,” he says and rests a dark blue robe on my shoulders.

  I slide my arms into the warm fabric and tie the front. “Thank you.”

  “We’ll eat breakfast sandwiches and relax in the hot tub. Isaac can pick up the pizza crap for dinner,” he says, taking my hand and guiding me out of the bedroom. “After the hot tub, we’ll get dressed and host the family. Just a normal night with normal people.”

  Too relaxed to disagree with any part of his plan, I eat the sandwich and drink the orange juice he gives me. When Chipper wants to sit naked in the hot tub, I drop my robe as if I’ve lived my entire life nude. I’m a new kind of me, detached from yesterday’s problems. At home in my skin with this man, I never want this bliss to end.

  CHIPPER

  Tatum insists on listening to Jimmy Buffett while we prep for our guests. I know if Hayes and Mom hear “Bubba” singing they’ll think Marissa was a Parrothead and assume Tatum is a Parakeet. Soon, they’ll torment me about naming our kids after his songs. Poet has a cousin named Tuesday, so I guess we can have a Monday after the song currently playing.

  “This was one of Mom’s favorites,” Tatum says about “Come Next Monday.”

  “But you swear she wasn’t a freak Parrothead.”

  “Why are you so judgmental about weirdoes when you’re a weirdo yourself?”

  “Because I’m a hypercritical weirdo, Tatum. Don’t try to change me. I’m too old for anything new to kick in.”

  “Twenty-six isn’t too old.”

  “It’s older than you think,” I say and kiss her furrowed forehead. “You’ll understand in a few years when you’re set in your ways.”

  Tatum isn’t convinced, but she’s too thoroughly fucked to put up much of an argument. I swear she’d be happy to ice her pussy and nap if we didn’t have the family coming over for dinner.

  Isaac drops off the ingredients necessary to make pizzas. I prep the dough and a shit load of fixings since no one in my family can decide on toppings. I’m ready to go by five while a yawning Tatum sits at the kitchen table. Whenever I catch her gaze, she gives me a sleepy grin. Her expression screams well-fucked, clear-headed, and stupid-in-love. That’s the look I want on her face forever. My lovestruck brain insists that keeping her happy will be easy. Logic no doubt will return in the near future.

  Mom lets herself into the house and heads straight to the kitchen with Hayes’s brown and black Leonberger not far behind. D.B.—a.k.a. Dog Balthazar—trots to the back doors overlooking a frost-covered yard. He looks back at me, yawns, and then collapses into a sleepy lump.

  “Balthazar is feeling clingy,” Mom says, retrieving herself a glass of ice tea, “so Hayes insisted we bring along the big baby.”

  “I’m not a fucking baby,” Cap growls, entering the house and, of course, assumes we’re talking about him.”

  “No, you’re a fucking angel from above,” I tell my brother. “Now quit your bitching and tell me what you want on your fucking pizza.”

  “Pepperoni. Nothing more, nothing less.”

  “Don’t tempt me to give you a veggie pizza, boy.”

  Hayes enters the house last, says nothing before finding a chair, and collapses with the same flair as his dog.

  “Want a beer?” Mom asks him.

  “Moonshine would be better. Beer and pizza give me gas.”

  “He’s not kidding,” Mom says to me and winks at a smiling Tatum. “I nearly ended up in the guest room the last time he had a Meat Lovers.”

  “Old people love is the best kind of love,” I murmur, eliciting a glare from my mother. “That was a compliment.”

  “Stuff it, Chip. No one likes a smart-ass.”

  We both laugh since smart-assery is our family’s bread and butter. I hope my kids one day torment me with sarcastic elderly comments. In fact, if they don’t, I’ll consider myself a failure as a father.

  “You look tired,” Mom says to Tatum who only smiles. When my mother glances at me, she winks and whispers, “Knock her up before she can run.”

  “She won’t run,” I whisper back. “She likes me, remember?”

  “Don’t be naïve. Poet was smart enough to knock up Cricket and force her to settle.”

  “Tatum isn’t settling with me. She wants to be with me.”

  “Now, sure, but women are fickle. She’ll get bored of you soon and bolt for freedom. I wouldn’t be surprised if she has a taste for bad men like Howler. No, you won’t keep her if you don’t get her knocked up lickety-split.”

  I notice Hayes watching our conversation from his spot in the family room. My mother’s complete lack of faith in my ability to keep a woman satisfied leaves me hoping my father might throw me an assist. Maybe mention how I’m a catch or some shit. Instead, Hayes only shakes his head and grins.

  “Wait,” I grumble to Mom. “Are you just cutting me down, so you’ll get a grandchild sooner?”

  Sighing, Mom pats
my shoulder. “I love you, but I’m not getting any younger, and I don’t want to be an old grandma. Now get that girl pregnant so I can enjoy my grandbabies while I’m still young enough to crawl around on the ground with them.”

  “That’s cold, you know? My feelings were honest-to-goodness hurt.”

  “Grow up, Chip. Life’s tough, and then your mother dies without a grandkid to cuddle.”

  “You have two.”

  Mom rolls her dark eyes. “Those are Cricket’s kids. I want to see what you produce.”

  “Are you going to act this way with Cap?”

  “Are you fucking kidding?” she asks, laughing and winking at Hayes. “I plan to pop holes in his condoms as soon as he meets a girl who doesn’t set off my gag reflex.”

  “Oh, in that case, I forgive you. I refuse to be the only one tortured.”

  “Big baby,” she says, hugging me tightly. “My big, stupid, second-born baby who needs to get moving.”

  “I may have knocked her up last night.”

  Mom pats my cheek. “Good boy. Howler’s gross, but he has good genes. Look at how old and healthy his sisters still are. Tatum comes from good stock, and she likes kids. I couldn’t ask for a better daughter-in-law.”

  “So now I need to marry her too?”

  “In God’s eyes, yes. In my eyes, I guess. In the law’s eyes, whatever.”

  Mom walks away from me and sits on the couch near Cap who plays on his phone. The room remains too quiet with my parents staring out the back windows as if half asleep, and Tatum staring at me from the kitchen table. I’d worry about everyone falling asleep if I didn’t know Cricket and her loud bunch were five minutes out.

  TATUM

  Murphy and Minnow run into the kitchen, calling for their uncle. When the mini-twins see him, he sweeps them into his arms and swings around. I smile at how gentle the hunk manages to be. The kids catch sight of me and want down.

  “Our friend!” Murphy yells.

  “Tatum lives here now,” Chipper says, returning the mini-twins to the ground.