Shadows

by Amber Lacie

"Oh, nothing, I was just…um…it was nothing." I grab my baskets and place them by the door. It will take two trips to get everything back into the car. I grab a basket and start to open the door when I realize I forgot my purse. Looking up, I see it on top of the machine right next to him. He looks at my purse and raise his eyebrows.

  "Do you need your luggage?"

  "It's not luggage. It's my purse."

  "Purse? This thing is huge. You could fit a body in here."

  "I might be trying with yours, if you don't hand it over."

  "Oh, are you going to take me home with you?"

  "Is that how you pick up a girl at a laundry mat?" I laugh and my cheeks flush.

  "No, if I wanted to pick up a girl at a laundry mat, I'd start with asking her name."

  "Oh."

  "Your name is 'Oh'?"

  I look at him confused. He shakes his head at me. I roll my eyes, realizing what he meant. "No, my name is Evelyn. My friends call me Eve."

  He hands me my purse and shakes my hand. My skin burns hot. I see him look at me in shock. It's not just me. He definitely feels it too. I swear I hear him mumble the word 'odd', but I'm not sure. Dropping my hand he heads towards the door. He grabs my other basket and opens the door motioning for me. He follows me and places the baskets in my trunk.

  "You didn't have to do that."

  "Yes, I did. It was the gentlemanly thing to do."

  "So you're a gentleman now?"

  "I never said I wasn't." Reaching for my hand he places a soft kiss on the back of it. "I'm so glad I was able to talk to you, Eve." He lets go of my hand and my heart is racing. Leaving me completely speechless, I watch him jog across the street to the laundromat.

  I want to ask to see him again, but all I can muster is one small question. "Why were you glad?" I hold my breath and wait for a response. I'm chewing on my bottom lip.

  To my surprise he stops when he opens the door. "Because, beautiful, I would never have seen your smile." He shakes his head. I don't know if it is directed towards him or me, but that lock of hair has fallen perfectly on his forehead. My cheeks reddening, I give him a soft smile. The door closes and I take a deep breath. What the hell was that? I can’t believe that just happened. Sliding into my car I turn the ignition.

  "Shit." I let out a deep sigh. I didn't even catch his name. I wonder what he smells like. I wonder what he tastes likes. I definitely need to stop thinking about him. Distracting myself with music, I turn the radio up on the way home.

  Carrying both baskets into the apartment, I throw the mail on the counter. I think I might be the only one home. The benefits of having roommates that work during the day are amazing. I can lounge around braless and wear yoga pants all day without being judged. I log back into work program and finish inputting the last few account transactions for today. I grab a blanket and crash on the couch. Exhaustion overcomes me and it doesn't take long for me to fall asleep.

  Hearing our apartment door open and slam shut, I jolt awake. Kayla is normally in good mood, so something is definitely bothering her.

  "Did you have a bad day?"

  She throws her keys on the counter and grabs a soda from the fridge. "You have no idea. I wore my favorite yellow pumps today. I was thinking a warm spring vibe would totally help me focus at work. Well, I was totally wrong. Not only did I get a lecture about teamwork from Sharon, but my pumps got sopping wet. Too many puddles. Ugh. I hate snow. Like I really hate it!" I can't help but chuckle to myself. Kayla never pays attention at work. It's why she's always rushing at the end of the week to get everything in. I can hear her messing around in the kitchen. "Hey, have you heard from Matt? He texted me earlier about us meeting him for dinner. I told him I'm up for whatever." Shrugging her shoulders, she pops a piece of fruit in her mouth as she walks into her room.

  "No, but I haven't checked my phone either. I put it on vibrate when I came home from the laundromat. I should probably check it. Do you know where he wanted to meet?"

  Kayla peeks her head out of her room and gives me a roll of her eyes. "Why do you have a phone anyways? What's the point if you never have it on?"

  "It's not off. I have it on vibrate. I like the quiet and Pandora is currently my bestie."

  Kayla looks at me and grabs her chest with a pained expression. "I'm seriously hurt that I have been replaced by an app on your phone." She is so dramatic.

  I head to my room to change my clothes and put a bra on. I’m not sure where we are going, but in our town I know it's going to be casual. I have on my favorite dark blue jeans, black flats, and a cream silk blouse that's tight across my chest but not too tight around my stomach. My hair is up in a bun and I'm wearing very little makeup. Grabbing my black jacket, I head to the kitchen.

  Kayla shuts her door as she yells to me, "He said he wants to meet at Ricci's and to turn your ringer back on. He's been trying to get a hold of you all day. You had him worried."

  "Okay, I turned it back on. Is Paul coming tonight?" I only ask because I don't want to be sitting by myself tonight babysitting Matt and Kayla. I adore Paul. They have been dating for a while now. I wish someone would look at me the way he looks at Kayla when she's not paying any attention. It's clear how much he loves her.

  "No, since he's made partner he has been really swamped. He's promised me his undivided attention this weekend. You might not see me for a couple days. I don't plan on leaving his bed." She give me a sly grin and I smack her shoulder as we head to the car.

  "That has just made it onto my list of ‘Things I didn't want to know.' So thanks for that."

  "You're very welcome. I'm glad I could be of service."

  Chapter 2

  We arrive at Ricci's and score a front parking spot. I tease Kayla we should take a photo of it, since it will never happen again. She rolls her eyes at me as we head inside. Ricci's is a small Italian pizzeria and bar. It's cutely decorated with checkered table cloths and pictures of Italy adorning the walls. I spot Matt in the corner table across from the where the bar is.

  "Any reason we aren't sitting at the bar tonight?" Matt gives me a lopsided grin, but his eyes never fully meet mine. There has to be something going on. First he snaps at me, and now he won't look me in the eyes.

  "No, specific reason at all. I just thought we might like to change it up and eat at a table this time. Cool?"

  "It's totally fine. You just threw me off, I guess."

  Matt clears his throat and I can tell he's really nervous about something. Signaling with her eyebrows, Kayla looks at me and then over to Matt. Even she is noticing something is different. We sit down and the waitress comes over to our table. She notices Matt and a huge smile spreads across her face. I swear she must bat her eyelashes at least ten times as we order a pitcher of beer and a large pepperoni pizza. I notice Matt keeps wiping his palms across his knees. I'm just getting ready to ask him what is bothering him when he lets out a big sigh. "So, I know you guys know I have been working really hard lately. I've been doing more than my fair share of work at the office. Especially since I had to correct everything that stupid intern messed up. I guess my boss noticed, because he offered me a higher position."

  "Oh my God!"

  "Matt, that’s great!" Kayla and I speak at the same time.

  "The new position means I will be moving locations. I'm going to train here for the next month, but then they are transferring me to Texas."

  My stomach drops at the sound of his news. A horrible feeling comes over me. I can't explain why, but it does. I look over at Kayla and she doesn't make a sound. She's shocked, it is plainly written in her expression. The conversation lulls as we finish our dinner. No one really wants to speak about Matt's news. Kayla and Matt head to the small dance floor next to the bar. Feeling my phone vibrate in my pocket, I swipe the screen unlocking it. Anne has sent me a text letting me know she will have to cancel for tonight. So this means, it's just us three tonight. I guess I’m stuck babysitting.

  Kayla plops down on the chair next to me. "W
hew! I'm done. These shoes are killing me. Who's that?"

  "Anne. She had to cancel.”

  “Well, we will have to make do without her than. I’m going to go get another pitcher."

  "No, it's cool I'll get this one." I stand and make my way to the bar. Waiting for our beer I take in my surroundings. What is it about alcohol that makes a person lose their inhibitions? Why do we feel so brave and invincible with it running through our veins? I'm watching Matt dance with some girl who's looking at him like he is a feast, I fear she may actually try to bite him. Kayla catches me watching him as I set the pitcher down. She nudges my shoulder as I take my seat.

  "So, Matt is going to leave us. Where does that put us with a roommate situation, and more importantly where does that put you two?" There's no attitude in her tone. She's dead serious and I'm dumbfounded by her question. He hasn't even moved out and she's already worrying about replacing him. What does she mean by where does that put us two? I mean, we are friends, right? My brain isn't thinking logically. It's in a slow alcohol induced haze. All I can offer her is a shrug with my shoulders as I turn back to watch Matt.

  "Come dance with me."

  "I thought you were done."

  "Well, I recharged. Come on. It's got to be so boring sitting here watching us all night."

  "It's not and I don't want to. I'm fine." Kayla gives me a knowing look and I brush her away with a wave of my hands. She's always trying to make me step out of my comfort zone, but I like it here on the sidelines. Between the three of us we have finished off two pitchers of beer, which to some might not seem that much, but to me it is. It doesn't take much to get me buzzed. Looking up, I see Matt coming towards our table. He leans over me, his arms stretched and locked on each side of me, with his palms flat on the table. He's out of breath and his blond hair is a sweaty mess. Taking a deep breath, he runs his hands through his hair.

  "What are you doing? I mean I know right now you’re sitting here, but I mean what are you doing in a few minutes? Can we talk? I just really want to talk to you." He's nervous and trying to come off as it's no big deal, but I know better.

  "Matt, what do you want to talk about? I'm right here. You're right here. Sit down and take a breather. You are a sweaty mess."

  "Do you like it when I'm all hot and sweaty?" He raises his eyebrows at me and I can't help but laugh. Who is this guy? He's definitely not the Matt I know. Taking a big breath, he blows it out through his mouth puffing out his cheeks. He smiles a huge grin at me. I notice the dimple in his left cheek. It suits him perfectly.

  "So?" Look at him brings back the bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm chewing the inside of my cheek. Now, I'm nervous.

  "Don't say anything, just listen for a minute, okay?" My heart feels like it's going to beat out of my chest. Nodding, I look around for Kayla, but I can't find her. "Eve? Are you with me Eve?"

  "Yeah, I'm here. I just don't understand." My cheek chewing has now moved onto lip chewing. If I bite down any harder, I might draw blood.

  "I love you."

  "What?" My mouth is hanging wide open. He can't possibly be serious.

  "We've known each other since elementary school and I've loved you since the first day we met. I thought if I grew up, finished school, and got a decent job, you would see what I could be for you. Your head is always in your books. I know you are waiting for some kind of fireworks to happen, but maybe it’s right here and you're looking so hard you missed it. My grandma told me once that we are all destined to fall completely in love with one special person. I might not be your one person, but I know you are mine. I love you, Eve." Leaning down he kisses me softly on my lips. I don’t kiss him back. I can't, I'm in shock. How long has he felt like this? Why couldn't he tell me this sooner? Why wait until he leaves?

  I can't breathe. I suddenly feel hot and the walls seem to be closing in around me. Matt is staring at me waiting, but I'm not sure what for. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? I need fresh air. Moving my chair back, I quickly stand. Matt steps back and I notice his smile has faded into a worried look in his eyes. "Matt, I can't. I can't breathe. I got to go." I grab my purse and dash for the door trying not to bump into people on my way out.

  The March air doesn't seem to be cold enough. I lean against the building and take a deep breath. There’s a guy in a jean jacket getting loud with some people across the street, but one of the guys pushes him away. He staggers into the street. Great, a drunk. What is it with people and alcohol? Turning my head towards the front door I notice Matt walking towards me. He hands me my jacket. I can't even manage a smile as I put it on. I run out on him and he chases me down to bring me a jacket. Guilt is now mixing with the bad feeling I have in the pit of my stomach.

  "Eve, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I don’t want you to run. I know how you feel about me. I don’t know why I said those things, I mean I do, but I don't know why I said them now. We were having a good time as friends. Just forget I said anything." Matt turns to walk away from me rubbing the back of his head with his hand. I know he's trying to make this better, but I can't forget what he said. What if he's right? Closing my eyes I try to process the night's events. What if what I'm waiting for doesn’t exist?

  My thoughts are interrupted by loud voices. Matt is now yelling at the drunk in the jean jacket I saw across the street. "Go away, you fuck. I wouldn't give you a damn dime. You're already wasted, I know what you use the money for. Sober up! God, you even smell horrid."

  I reach out to grab Matt's forearm and pull him away. The drunk keeps yelling at him. I can't understand what he is saying. Everything is so hazy and I've had way too much to drink. We need to go. I pull on Matt's arm again, but he won't budge. He shrugs me off hard and I lose my balance. I start to fall off the curb and arms grab me.

  "You okay, beautiful?" Turning my head, all I see are gorgeous colorful eyes. It's the guy from the laundromat. He helps me stand on me feet, holding my hands in his as he gives me a once over. I can feel my skin heat from his touch.

  "I'm fine. It's just my friend. We really need to go." As I turn around, everything is in slow motion. Matt pushes the drunk away from him and turns as if he's going to walk away. I see the drunk pulling something out of his jacket and I scream, “Matt!” He turns his head to look at me, but I’m too late. The drunk lunges at Matt's side. He groans and I watch him as he falls to the ground. Something falls from the drunk’s hand, clattering to the ground, and he takes off running. What just happened?

  I look down at Matt laying crumpled and still on the ground. I brush away the arms still holding me up and drop to my knees beside him. The ground is wet and so very red. Why is it so red? I notice a knife laying on the sidewalk. It takes me a second to realize he's been stabbed. My hands are shaking as I take off my jacket and press it to his side. He grimaces at my touch. This can't be real. Fuck. "Matt, please look at me. Oh God, Matt, fucking open your eyes!" Cradling his head in my lap, tears are streaming down my cheeks. "Matt, please open your eyes. I'll love you forever, if you just please open your eyes."

  I feel like I’m lost. It’s as if none of this is real and I am in horrific nightmare. People are rushing around me. I hear someone yelling for help. Everything feels so chaotic. Ignoring my surroundings, I focus solely on Matt. He's having such a hard time breathing. His chest is barely rising and I can feel his body shaking. My jacket is soaked with blood. It takes everything he has left to open his eyes and he looks right into mine. "I love you, Eve. You're my person." He starts coughing and I wipe away blood from his mouth with my other hand.

  I’m holding him in my lap as tears blur my vision. I barely register the sounds of the sirens as they get closer. I lean my head down and whisper in his ear for him to come back to me over and over again. I feel someone pulling on my arm. I look up and there are now paramedics yelling questions at me. Not understanding what they are saying to me, all I can manage is to say is his name. They take him from me and place him on a stretcher. They are yelling stuff to each
other and I can see lines being hooked to his body as they close the ambulance doors. I’m frozen in shock. I can’t move. Suddenly, I feel myself being lifted from the ground. I’m vaguely aware of my surroundings. Someone else is now asking me questions. Who? Turning slowly, I register there are two cops in front of me. They are speaking calmly, but I don't understand. Shaking my head, I just keep crying and saying Matt's name.

  "Eve! Oh, God. Please someone tell me what's going on. Where's Matt? Tell me that wasn’t Matt." Kayla is screaming for me.

  It takes everything for me to turn and look at her. It’s only then that I register there are arms holding me up. I'm not sure who they belong to, but I don't care either. I realize they are the only reason I am standing.

  "Kayla, it’s so red. The fucking sidewalk is so red. Fuck, I left him alone!" Frantically, I start trying to get to the ambulance. I keep slipping in the slush still melting on the sidewalks. Kayla grabs my hand. She's crying, but she's so calm compared to how I feel. She turns my head to face her. "I got Matt. Go change your clothes and come to the hospital. I'll be sure to name you as one of his next of kin. You can't come like that. Sweetie, you’re soaked. God, Eve, you're so red." She hugs me and a cop escorts Kayla to the ambulance. It must be frantic because they won't let her in the back. She sits in the front seat and barely closes the door before it pulls away.

  "Ma'am. Ma'am, I know this isn't the best time, but the quicker we can get to the facts, the quicker we catch the person who did this." There's a cop standing in front of me with a notepad and a pen. "Ma'am, can you tell us what you saw? Ma'am?" He's waiting for me to answer him. I manage to mumble something about a drunk in a jean jacket.

  "Sir, she's obviously not in the right state of mind to answer questions. I'm sure there is some kind of security footage someone should be asking for. Let me get her changed and to the hospital. We will do the questions there. I'm sure her only concern is her friend who just left in that ambulance."

  I don't know who's speaking for me, but I couldn't be more grateful for their help. My thoughts aren't coming together and I'm not sure how I can drive to hospital let alone answer questions.