Shadows

by Amber Lacie

  "Ma'am, are you allowing this person to speak for you?"

  Staring at the policeman, I look over at the man holding me up. Does it matter? I don't care about anything, but Matt and they drove off with him. "Yes, he's speaking for me. Please, I got to go. My friend…I can't leave him." The policeman must have accepted my response because I can feel my body walking away. I'm being led to a car, but it's not mine. A door is opened for me and I slide into the seat. Long arms buckle my seatbelt. I don’t know why, but a sudden sense of calm comes over me. I don’t feel like I'm in my body anymore. It's as if I'm on the outside looking in.

  Shutting his door, he starts the car. "Alright, beautiful. I grabbed your purse. I'm sure you can't live too far. Tell me your address and we will head to yours. We will get you some clothes and then head over to hospital. Okay?"

  All I notice are his eyes. They seem to hold me in place. Nodding my head I mumble our address. I can't stop thinking about Matt. I hand my keys over to him as he parks his car. "It's apartment 6, second floor. My room is next to the bath. Just grab a shirt and some jeans, anything will do. Matt's." I can't say his name, there's a huge lump in my throat and I start sobbing into my hands.

  "Hey, I'll be quick, okay? I'll run up and grab you a change of clothes. Do you want me to grab some for him? Is that what you were trying to say?"

  Nodding my head, I weep into my hands. I hear the car door shut and I realize I'm alone just like Matt. I need to stay positive. Kayla went with him. I shoot her a text letting her know I'm on my way. I don't ask about him. I can't. I don’t want any of this to be real. Hearing the car door shut I look over. He hands me a wet washcloth and a change of clothes. I wipe my face and hands. Not caring even a little that I don't know him besides our brief meeting earlier, I change my clothes. All I know is I need to get to Matt.

  We arrive at the hospital, immediately I head to the emergency room registration desk. "I'm here for Matt Stephenson." My heartbeat is thrumming in my ears. The nurse directs me over to a room where the others are waiting. I head down a white hallway. I notice how bright everything is. It's all sterile and there is no color, except signs directing you along your way. I hate the smell of hospitals. Rubbing alcohol, bleach, and band aids are not my favorite scent. I come to a door with small blue lettering on it, Family Waiting Only. Taking a deep breath I open the door. All I can hear is soft sobs. Matt's dad, Michael, is here with his brother. Kayla is sitting in a chair with her knees pulled to her chest. She looks at me and starts sobbing. I'm frozen and I can't get my body to move.

  "Go on, beautiful. Take a step. I'll hold you up." I feel arms guiding me into the room. I have no idea of my stranger's name, but I don't feel like I can let go of him. Sitting in a chair next to Michael, I notice he looks pale and his eyes are bloodshot. He is holding tightly onto Matt's brother.

  "Evelyn, I don't. I…I…I don't know what they told you, but Matt is gone." My whole world spins. I feel myself shaking my head no. Tears are streaming down my face. I can't breathe, let alone talk. "They couldn't stop the bleeding. He had already lost so much blood before the ambulance came. Thank you, for being with him. He loved Kayla and you so much." He squeezes my hand and I stare at him. I can’t make a sound. Matt's younger brother lets out a ghastly sob. I can hear his heart ripping apart. This isn't fair.

  "I'm sorry for your loss sir. We tried our best to get here. Eve needed a fresh change of clothes. I'm so very sorry we weren't here sooner." Michael just stares at my stranger in confusion.

  "Eve?" Kayla's voice is soft and shaky. She's looking at me with questionable eyes. "Eve, who is this? I'm sorry, but how can you just walk in here like you know us?"

  I don't want Kayla to become frantic so much has happened already. "He, um…well this… um, this was my ride. He helped me with the police and drove me to grab clean clothes for me and…" Not being able to finish my sentence, I start crying again. I'm not sure I have ever stopped. Kayla is still just staring at me with bloodshot eyes. I'm not sure what else I am supposed to say. All I can think is Matt's gone. I was his fucking person and he left me.

  "Sorry, my name is Theron. I met Eve at the laundromat earlier. I was outside at the bar tonight when I heard the yelling. I saw her start to fall and caught her. The next thing I know your friend is badly hurt and I'm dialing 911 on my cell. She told you to go with the ambulance. I couldn’t leave her. She couldn’t even move by herself." Theron. My stranger has a name. Why do I keep thinking he's mine? Kayla just nods her head at him. I'm not sure anyone knows what to say.

  Michael informs me the family was asked to wait here until we could speak with the police. They also asked him to identify Matt's body. What the fuck? It's just a body now? He was my fucking best friend and now he's just a body with a sheet waiting to be identified. Theron hands Matt's clothes to Michael. I'm not sure what he will do with them since Matt won't need them now. Nodding his head at Theron, his shaky hands grasp the clothes.

  Minutes, possibly hours pass by. I have no concept of time. We each give our statement to the police. They inform us they have statements from others at the scene. They also have security tapes from the bar and the bookstore across the street. They hand us each a business card. We are supposed to call them if we remember anything we forgot to mention. I can't forget. I remember every detail. All I can do is play this evening over and over again. Paul has come to collect Kayla. She hugs me and kisses my cheeks. I cling to her not wanting to let her go, but I feel hands prying mine away.

  "Eve, is there anyone you need me to call?" Theron is standing in front of me. "Hey, beautiful, come back to me for a second." He’s holding both of my hands in his hands. I Notice there are wet spots on his t-shirt and the material is bunched. I wonder if that's from me. Did I do that? "Eve, I need you to focus for just a second longer. Who am I calling, babe? Who am I calling for you?" He pushes his hair back out of his face, but that one lock of hair is stubborn and falls back onto his forehead. I decide I like that lock of hair.

  "My parents or my brother, Robert." I'm trying to clear my thoughts. Theron reaches over and takes my purse in his hand. Looking at me he slightly cocks his head to the side. He's asking for permission. There’s no way I can call anyone. I’m barely hanging on. I unlock my phone and hand it over to Theron. He calls my dad first and explains the situation. I'm not sure what my dad is saying, but I can tell he's crying. My big strong daddy is crying. This is bad. All of this is just so bad. Theron calls my brother next and once again he's explaining what happened. This time he is also explaining who he is and why he is with me. I'm kind of shocked my dad didn't ask, but I think it's because his heart is broken. Theron looks at me and hands me back my purse. I grip onto it. I can't let anything go. I'm so afraid I'll fall.

  "Alright, beautiful, everyone is gone. It's our turn now. Come on, babe, I need to get you home."

  Home. That's where Matt lives. No, that's where Matt lived. "Fuck! I can’t do this. I can't leave him here. He's alone and cold. He needs me. I'm his fucking person. I am his person!” Screaming at Theron, I smack his hands away. I'm so furious. I throw the chair next to me and crumble to the ground. I'm screaming frantically. My chest feels so hollow, it’s so painful to breathe, my lungs burn from anger. I'm completely losing my shit on the floor of a hospital waiting room.

  "Shit, babe, I don't know what to do for you. Do you not want to go home? You have to rest. Your friend's family is going to need you. You won't be any good to them here." Squatting down he looks me in the eyes. "Do you want to go with Kayla? I could try to catch the guy that came for her. Should I do that?" He's just trying to help. This complete stranger is watching me have a nervous breakdown and he's still trying to help. Grabbing onto his forearm I hold on tight as he pulls me up from the floor. "Shit. I can take you to my place. I have a spare bedroom you could use or you could sleep on the couch. I know you don't know me, but I can't leave you alone like this and you obviously don’t want to go home."

  I'm vaguely aware of walking ou
t of the hospital. I am squinting my eyes. Why are hospitals so damn bright? I slide into the passenger side of Theron's car. I drift off to sleep and feel us pull away onto the road. I feel the car turning a couple of times, but I don't open my eyes. They are way too heavy and with my eyes closed I can pretend this all isn't really happening.

  I awake to the sound of metal clicking. Opening my eyes, I think I see a metal gate sliding open. That can't be right. I open them again and I look over at Theron. He's got one hand on the steering wheel and the other is running over his stubble. He's quiet and there isn't any music on. I see him look at me from the corner of his eye. Turning my head forward, I close my eyes again.

  Chapter 3

  "Eve, open your eyes. We're here." Theron tucks some strands of hair that have fallen out of my bun behind my ears. My ears and skin feel hot from his touch. It's distracting and I like it. He walks around to my side of the car and opens the door. Stepping out, I look around. We are parked in a circle driveway and there is a large three story brick French style home. It's massive and well kept. There are so many windows. I wouldn’t want to be the one to clean all of them. Looking over at Theron, I can't help but think I don't belong here.

  "Don't worry beautiful, it's not mine. It's my grandma's. I live in the guest house over there." He points to a gorgeous brick house with a separate walk way. The big house isn't his. It's just his grandma's. I am not comforted by this fact. Is she home? What does she think of him bringing strange girls home in the middle of the night? Is it the middle of the night? I think it might be early morning now. Sighing, I try to clear my head. I can't figure anything out right now.

  Theron grabs my hand and walks me towards the guest house. Punching some numbers in the keypad, he pushes the door open. It's beautiful and it's all open. I'm standing in what I assume is his living room and it opens right into his massive kitchen with a beautiful island in the middle. There are floor to ceiling windows and dark hard wood floors. I notice a hallway that splits the kitchen and the living room. Slipping off my shoes, I sit on his dark brown leather couch. It's soft and very comfortable. There is an ottoman directly in front of me and I set my purse on it. Theron walks over and turns on the beautiful stone fireplace to my right. I notice a very grand looking bookcase next to it. It's overflowing with books. There are some stacked in piles in front of it. I shiver and Theron covers me with a blanket and walks into the kitchen. I hear cabinets open and some clinking. He brings me a glass of ice water. Our fingers touch as I take it from his hands, and he takes a step back.

  "So, I wasn’t prepared to have guests in the guest house. Okay, that sounds funny. I mean, I wasn't expecting company. I don't bring people here, but I didn't know what else to do. I'm going to set up the spare bedroom. I'll be right back. Just, um, make yourself comfortable I guess." Theron turns and walks towards the hallway. I'm assuming that’s where the bedrooms and baths are. Taking him up on his advice, I curl up on his couch under the blankets. It's so warm by the fire and my eyes are once again heavy.

  I think I wake to voices, but I can't tell. I'm way too warm, but I don't have the energy to do anything about it, so I drift back off to sleep.

  "What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just leave her there. She just watched her friend die in her arms. Nobody should be left like that. No, I told Gram this morning what was going on. Of course she doesn't care. She was actually quite impressed with me. She's not you. Look, I'm not justifying myself to you. I don't need to. This is Gram's place, and she's fine with it. I've got to go. Fine. Okay. Bye."

  I hear Theron speaking to someone softly, but I don't hear any other voices. I assume he's on his phone. Everything seems so foggy, but I know it's real because I'm here. I didn’t wake up in my in bed. I'm so far away from home. No, not home. The apartment. It's the apartment now. It can never be home again. I feel so gutted and raw. As I wipe my eyes, I realize I am crying again. How have I not run out of tears? Wiping my cheeks, I lick my lips. They are puffy and taste like salt.

  "Beautiful? I know you are upset and feel like shit, but I kind of need you to focus for a few. Okay?" Theron is kneeling on the floor in front of me. He's shirtless and has on some blue flannel pajama pants. Letting my eyes roam his body, I notice he has a tattoo on the left side of his chest. Its two koi fish circling each other, with the Pisces sign in the center. It's intricate and stunning. My eyes drift lower down his abs and to his happy trail. He even has the infamous 'V' all the guys in the books I read have. His pants are loosely hanging on his hips, and the waistband of his underwear is peaking out. Biting my lower lip, I take in the sight of him. Adonis is the only word that comes to mind. My eyes drift back up to his face and he's pushing his gorgeous locks back. His eyes are just so amazing. It's like I can feel him looking into me. The thought scorches my skin. I like this distracting feeling I’m getting. Everything is so unfocused and foggy, but him. I can see every bit of him clearly.

  "Your eyes, Theron, your eyes." I have no idea what possessed me to let that drool come out of my mouth, but it happened. He chuckles and I feel myself get angry. Not wanting to be laughed at, I shoot him a dirty look.

  "Eve, don't get angry. You're not the first person to mention my eyes. It happens a lot. It's called heterochromia. I was born with my eyes two different colors. It happens to people more than you think. Look, I just want to help you. What can I do?" He tries to push the one stubborn lock of hair back, but it doesn't listen. I don't want it to. I have no idea why, but I reach up and twirl it around my fingers.

  Feeling Theron freeze, I pull my hand back and look back into his gorgeous eyes.

  "I don't like to be laughed at. I've been laughed at a lot, and I don't like the feeling. I wasn't trying to insult you. I like them. Your eyes, I mean, I like them a lot." My face blushes with my omission. I wish I had a filter I could install in my brain right now because it is obviously not working. Hearing Theron sigh, I'm sure I'm coming across wrong. I know he wants me gone. Well, at least I know the other person on the phone wants me gone. I don't want to go back to the apartment. I could go to my parents. They would come get me.

  "Beautiful, where did you go? You keep leaving me here." He's leaning back on his legs and his feet are tucked under him. It must be exhausting trying to deal with someone who's been hurt so badly, let alone someone you don’t know.

  "I'm here with you. Is that the problem? I can go. I'll call my parents and arrange a ride. It's fine. I'm sorry you have gone to so much trouble for me." Pushing the blanket off me, I plant my feet firmly on the floor. Surely, I can stand. I just need the will to do it.

  "No, sit. You aren’t going anywhere. At least not until I know for sure you're okay. I want to make sure wherever you go, someone is there. You shouldn’t be alone." He grabs my hands, but I won't look at him. I feel his fingers lift my chin. His hands are soft and warm just like his eyes. "Eve, look at me. I want to help you. I just need to know just the basics and I’ll let you go back to sleep. Your last name, where your parents live so I can get you to them, and what kind of food you like to eat. We will just start with those."

  "Davidson is my last name. My parents live in Porter by the lake. I need coffee with cream and two sugars, please." He doesn't let go of my chin. I don’t want him to. His touch is so comforting. Licking my lips, I feel his thumb rub across my bottom one. I shiver as my whole body reacts to him. His lips slightly part and I so badly want to lick them. I want to taste him. Softly shaking my head, I pull back from him. My thoughts are all over the place right now.

  Theron smiles at me, and I'm sure it is mostly from pity. He stands and saunters towards the kitchen. I turn my head to follow him. His body is so incredibly sexy. His pants are hanging so perfectly off of him. I can't help but ogle his form as I watch him move about the kitchen opening cabinets and moving things around.

  "Oh, and Eve, the next time you lick your lips like that at me, I won't hold back. No matter where we are or what is happening, I will kiss you. I will consume every bit of
your sexy mouth, and mark those lips as mine. We clear?"

  What? I'm so glad he still has his back to me. My mouth is hanging open and I'm completely caught off guard. Mark me? Who says that and why was it so incredibly hot? I clear my throat. "Um, we're clear." I'm not sure what to do or say. I have the sudden urge to move around since a girl can only squeeze her thighs together so tight.

  "Well, I'm glad we got that cleared up and out of the way. Here’s your coffee. Oh, and thank you for the compliment on my eyes. I'm going to take a shower. I'll be back in a bit to check on you."

  Finishing my coffee, I start to burrow back under the blankets when I hear a chirping sound coming from my purse. I reach over and grab it off the ottoman. Pulling out my phone, I unlock it. Seventeen missed text messages, seven missed phone calls, and only three voicemails. I take a deep breath and play the first voicemail.

  It's from Kayla. "Hey, Eve. I'm with Paul. I stopped by our place and grabbed some more clothes. I had a few over at his place, but I knew I would need more. You weren't there. I called your mom and you weren't there either. Where are you? You have me worried. Call me" I hit delete. I'll text her back, when I'm done checking my messages.

  I play the next message. "Eve, its Mom. I'm worried about you sweetie. Dad broke the news to me. He said your boyfriend Theron called us. I know dad would have rather have heard it from you, but I understand you were probably upset. I didn't even know you had a boyfriend, honey. I don’t know. I guess I just always pictured you settling down with Matt. Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I'm not even thinking. Please, just call us back. We love you." I press delete. My boyfriend? Where does she get that he's my boyfriend? And Matt? She pictured me with Matt. I start crying again. I can't do this. I feel like I can't breathe. How do people live with this kind of gutting pain? Taking a deep breath, I play the next message.