Awakened

by Shey Stahl

  “And you started the bakery right out of college?”

  “Pretty much. Two days after I turned twenty-three, I opened the store. When did you take over the business from your dad?”

  “I think about three years ago. He had a heart attack and decided it was time to step down.”

  It shocked me to know his father had a heart attack. He seemed healthy from what I saw, the brief interactions I had with him at least. “Wow, I’m sorry. He seems okay now though.”

  “Yeah, he’s doing a lot better. He was just burnt out I think. I can understand it for the most part. It’s a small company. We only have fifteen employees.”

  “That is small.” I reached for my water taking a small sip and then returning the glass to the coaster. “I got you beat though. I only have four.”

  “Oh, yeah, I thought it was just you and Stevie.”

  “No. I hired two bakers about a year ago. Once I got into catering weddings and parties the working from 3 a.m. to midnight wasn’t ideal anymore.”

  Leaning forward, his eyes remained trained on mine. “That’s dedication, Logan.”

  “I wanted to make it work and prove that I could run my own business. Everyone thinks I’m just some naïve innocent girl with no drive from anything.”

  “I don’t see that at all. Sure, there’s some innocence there, but I can also see how much you want to impress your mom and sisters.”

  “Sadly, yes.” Josh was absolutely right. I wanted their approval but unfortunately, it seemed I only had that with Josh. “You seemed to impress them easily.”

  “That’s not hard to do with women.”

  “So you know how to work ‘em,” I teased, but he knew there was some truth to that.

  He laughed lightly, his broad shoulders shaking. “Not like that. I just meant with me for example, I don’t give a shit if they like me or not. I don’t mean for that to sound cocky by any means. I mean it in a way that I didn’t go in there thinking they’d like me. I went for you.”

  Sighing, I relaxed in my chair, my body less tense. “Thanks for that. I know it was probably strange to meet my family after only a week.”

  “You’re welcome. I—” He was cut off by the waiter delivering our food.

  There was one thing about Lemon Grass I was hardly ever prepared for. The amount of food they dished out. Heaping plates. I ordered the noodles delight while Josh ordered the seven flavor beef.

  As we began eating, I thought of more questions for him. “Do you want to play a game?” I felt a bit childish asking a question like that but what was the harm.

  “Sure.” There was no annoyance in his voice, only brightness in his eyes.

  “Twenty questions?”

  He considered it for a moment, chewing his food slowly. Raising his napkin, he covered his mouth as he spoke. “How about ten? I’m not that interesting.”

  “Fair enough…” Picking at my food, I went straight into my questions, things I’d been dying to know. “What was your major in college?”

  There was a grin present, as though he knew these were not the questions I wanted to know. “Business administration.”

  “Favorite past time?”

  He considered that one, and then cut into his beef as he answered. “Entertaining friends.”

  “That house…do you own it?”

  “Yes, well…” He paused and chuckled at the naivety of my questions. “…I have a mortgage on it.”

  “Favorite food?”

  “Pizza from Old School, downtown.”

  “Nice choice. Um, let’s see… I’d ask favorite drink but I think it’s Olympia beer so I’m gonna go with favorite band?”

  “I’m not into any particular band. No one I’d go crazy over at least.” And then a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, watching me. “That’s six…”

  “I know.” I drew in a deep trying to prepare myself for what I wanted to ask. I wasn’t as comfortable around Josh. With Brevin, it was easy for me to blurt out questions. With Josh, I worried what his answer would be. “Um, Addison said you dated in high school…” I swallowed over the insane lump in my throat, blinking obsessively only to have Josh smile, knowing exactly where this was going. “What kind of women do you find attractive?”

  That question was about as double-edged as you could get. I was basically asking him in a round-about way if Addison was his type.

  Josh handled it well and never missed a beat. “Well, yeah, we dated for a short time. I like women who are sweet, good sense of humor and I seem to always fall for the innocent ones.” He leaned closer, watching me carefully as he spoke the next part. His hand moved from the table to cup my cheek, his thumb brushing over my skin. “I seem to have an obsession with freckles now.”

  My cheek flushed under his touch. He was good at spinning questions around.

  Drawing back, his hand dropped from my cheek to the table. “Okay…for my last three, prepare yourself, these are intense.”

  He laughed crossing his arms over his chest, show casing his biceps. “What’s your favorite…ice cream?”

  “Strawberry.”

  Stop being childish, Logan. Ask him!

  “What turns you on?”

  “Watching.”

  “Like porn?”

  “Sure,” he said without emotion.

  “Okay…fair enough. For my final question…” I paused, drawing it out dramatically.

  “I’m waiting.”

  Leaning in, I rested my elbows on the table, slowly licking my lips. “If you could fuck me, right now…” His eyes drifted closed and he too leaned in and then opened them, waiting for me to continue when I knew, right then, he wanted to fuck me by the hunger swirling in his eyes. “On this table…what would you do to me?”

  I searched his eyes for an indication of what my words did to him, hoping I saw it blatantly so. Leaning in closer, his breath drifted across my lips. The sexual tension peaking between us. “I’d knock everything off this table, flip you around so your face down on the table and fuck you so hard everyone would wonder if you’re screaming in pain, or pleasure.”

  My lips parted at his words, drawing in a shaking breath that was noticeably heard by him. He knew the effect he was having on me. “How about you take me back to your place and fuck me on your kitchen table?”

  “I’d rather do it here. You’re beautiful. Most men would pay to see you fall apart in front of them. I know I would.” A hint of a smile curved his mouth, the pad of his thumb tracing his lip.

  “What about your questions?”

  He sat back running his hand through his hair. “I know enough.” And then he motioned for the waiter and tossed money on the table. Without waiting, his hand reached for mine. “I’m not sure we’re gonna make it back to my house.”

  We didn’t.

  We made it to the driveway before he fucked me on the hood of his Lexus.

  Smacking my ass once, I had my jeans back on. He gave a nod to the car with a fresh-faced grin plastered on his face. “That’s my new favorite car.”

  “What was your favorite before?”

  His arm wrapped around my shoulders as I buttoned my jeans and looked up at him. “My truck. I’m sure you know why.”

  Walking up to the front door, I was just about to suggest I go back to Stevie’s house. Surely he wouldn’t want me staying over again.

  “Are you tired?”

  I nodded. “I am.”

  Josh opened the door and motioned me forward and then turned to type in his security code. “I got a nice big bed waiting for you.”

  “Are you sure you want me to stay over again?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?” He frowned, taking my hand to lead me upstairs. When he felt my reluctance, he turned to me drawing me into his chest.

  “You don’t feel like we’re rushing into this?”

  He waited for me to look at him, when I did, my resolve crumbled and I saw that he was being sincere. “No, I don’t. I like you, Logan. A lot. Don’t try to f
igure it out, there doesn’t have to be rules to it.”

  Falling for someone, in any way, like or love, was similar to holding a gun and giving them the bullets. At any time they could load it, but you were holding it. You had the power to pull the trigger and the ability to aim it.

  As I laid in bed with Josh that night, my mind drifted to Brevin, un-expectedly so and what he said to me. I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything.

  That applied to liking someone, too, right?

  I did fall in like with Josh Daniel.

  And soon, within a month of knowing him, love. Though neither one of us said the words.

  My life was changing. The girl I was, the girl I’d always wanted to be, was me. I finally had the career, the boyfriend, all of it.

  The memory hits me, the fluttering in my stomach and the pain in my chest when I think about how quickly we moved. How stupid we were not to think things through.

  Maybe that’s my fault.

  Maybe it’s his fault.

  I may never know.

  As I sit here now, the heaviness in my heart at the memories that still control me, I look at my life now and realize, everything happened for a reason.

  I didn’t, at the time, understand it, but I do now.

  Just when I thought I knew Josh, he showed me what I was missing and my life changed forever.

  “You never told me how the meeting with your mom went,” Stevie noted, handing me two cream-filled chocolate truffle cupcakes to replace on the towers. We were once again doing our morning routine of displaying the cupcakes.

  “Geez, that was like two weeks ago. But yeah, it went surprisingly well.” My cheeks and my heart warmed with how sweet Josh was that night at my mother’s house.

  Stevie groaned and crossed her arms over her chest. “At least you’re getting some.”

  “Oh, eat a dick. Be happy for me.”

  “If I had a dick, I’d eat it.” Stevie huffed out another breath and then reached for the lemon cupcakes handing me one at a time. “Does Josh have any friends?”

  “He has a few. Jeb…but he has a girlfriend. Oh, what about Brevin?”

  The thought of Brevin and Stevie together sent a strange pang of jealousy through my gut. Why I had no idea. Probably because despite any feelings I had for Josh, Brevin was still on my mind. A lot.

  “Brevin is off limits.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  Stevie made a duck face, one she was really good at. If you ever scrolled through her Instagram account, it was fully of selfies and her duck face. “He’s in love with you.”

  What? No way.

  “No he’s not. Now where did you put those strawberry lemon ones?” I had to get her off the subject of Brevin because even I didn’t know how to react to that subject.

  IN NO WAY was I the type of girl who would have ever considered moving in with a guy after the first month of dating him.

  I knew better than that.

  I did.

  Did it stop me?

  Nope.

  The decision to move in with Josh wasn’t taken lightly.

  Not at all.

  Biggest lie ever.

  It was more like Stevie was moving back in with her parents to save money and I was searching for a place to live.

  At a party on a Saturday night, he convinced me to move in with him.

  And so I did.

  There was this quote I loved by R.M. Drake. It was actually a tattoo over my ribcage.

  If we move too fast, we’ll break things.

  If we go too slow, we’ll miss things.

  And if we don’t move at all, we won’t see things for how beautiful they truly are.

  With my heart telling me to jump, and my head telling me to walk, I moved in with him.

  In reality, I didn’t know Josh all that well. After dating for a month, he’d met my mom and sisters and I met his parents and younger brothers, Jeremy and Jensen. They all seemed to like me.

  I was beginning to think Josh did too, even though he hadn’t said it.

  The day I moved in, Stevie helped me carry my boxes of clothes. I ended up putting most of my furniture in storage because it wasn’t like Josh needed any of that at his house.

  “Are you sure you want to do this?” she asked, huffing as she hauled the last of my boxes up the stairs into his room, where I’d be sleeping now. “Holy shit.” Dropping the box, Stevie eyed the bed. “Is that where the sex monster beds you?”

  “Beds me?” I mouthed back to her, completely amused someone like Stevie said, beds you. “If you mean fucks me, yeah.”

  “Well, excuse the fuck outta me. Didn’t know you were so naughty nowadays.”

  “So how’s living back with your parents?” I asked, eager to change the subject away from Josh and me for the simple fact that I was struggling with how quickly everything was moving. I wanted to slow it down and think about it.

  “It’s okay.” Stevie sat down on the floor beside the bed and opened the box, handing me the clothes to place them in the closet. “I’d much rather live with you, but I couldn’t afford it. I need to get my freaking credit cards under control.”

  A lot of people I knew had moved back home at one time or another to save money. Stevie had gone to college for two years at South Puget Sound Community College, dropped out for three years and was now attending Evergreen at night to get her bachelor degree. At least she was trying.

  A sad look came over her face when she pulled out the black dress I wore to our New Year’s Eve party last year. “I’m gonna miss taking your clothes off for you when you’re too drunk to do it yourself.”

  There was some truth to that statement. “And I’m going to miss holding your hair as you puke out the side of my car.”

  Putting the last of the clothes in the closet, I smiled at her and snaked my arm around her narrow shoulders. “Let’s go raid the liquor cabinet. Josh is out of town tonight.”

  I felt somewhat awkward being in Josh’s house without him, but then again, I was now living there, so I needed to get used to making this place my home.

  Not long after we broke out the whip cream, vodka and Dr. Pepper, Addison showed up. I wasn't all that surprised to see her come by because since I'd known Josh, Jeb and Addison had been almost a permanent fixture in his house.

  “Oh.” She smiled, walking in through the front door. “I thought the boys would be here.”

  I looked at Stevie—who had yet to meet Addison—and then back to Addison. I would have thought she would know where her boyfriend was.

  “They’re working overnight in Puyallup.”

  Addison shrugged and took a seat at the kitchen island we were sitting at, right beside Stevie.

  “I’m Addison.” Addison reached out for Stevie’s hand. “You must be Stevie? Jeb was telling me about Logan’s hot little friend with crazy hair.”

  Stevie puffed up her thick dark curls like she was flaunting. “He said I was hot?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well then,”

  Addison reached for the rum on the counter. “What are we celebrating?”

  “Moving in.”

  “Nice. I’ll totally drink to that.”

  A bottle of rum later, we were skinny dipping and searching for more rum.

  Another hour later, dressed again, Stevie and I were staring down the coffee pot around three a.m. while Addison puked in the downstairs bathroom. Two bottles of rum might have been too much.

  “What’s that vibrating?” Stevie searched around the kitchen for the noise. When she found it, we realized it was Addison’s cell phone. “What is Adult Friend Finder?”

  “No clue. Why?” I handed Stevie her cup of coffee, my chin on her shoulder as she stared at Addison’s phone.

  Set as the home scree was a picture of Jeb and Josh with beer in hand and baseball hats on backwards in just their board shorts. I recognized the photo from the other night. It had to have been on the dock.

  Besides the fact tha
t she had my boyfriend’s picture on her phone, the alerts were what really caught our attention.

  Gunssouth69 sent you a flirt

  Cockhard0877 hot listed you

  Galacticass5 sent you a friend request

  What the hell is that?

  “Is she a porn star or stripper?” Stevie asked as we gawked at one another.

  “Maybe she’s a hooker?” I asked, giving Stevie a confused look.

  The two of us were dumbfound when we heard Addison stirring in the bathroom. I panicked and dropped the phone, knocking over Stevie’s coffee in the process.

  “There’s my phone.” Addison said when she was reaching for bottle of water I gave her. She looked like hell, but still as pretty as ever. I couldn’t believe how one person could be puking their guts out one minute and look as good as she did the next.

  Glancing down at her phone, Addison paid little mind to it, tossed it aside and collapsed on the floor in the family room that was off the kitchen.

  Not knowing what else to do, Stevie and I joined her, forgetting about the alerts on her phone.

  That was her business, but I silently wondered if she was some kind of stripper. I wanted to do some research and see what that website was, but I frankly didn’t have the energy after all that rum.

  IT WAS NEARING October and I’d been living with Josh for a month. It was great. He was the best guy to live with.

  Not only did he clean up after himself, but he didn’t leave his dirty underwear laying around, plus he cooked for me. Good stuff too. Like halibut with a tangy lemon sauce, asparagus and baby red potatoes.

  He was in many ways the ideal boyfriend. My future with him was unpredictable, unplanned, and open to whatever. I loved that. For once it was simple and falling into place.

  At the shop, fall was filled with birthday parties and customers placing their holiday orders. Stevie and I had added to our line of cupcakes, brought back all the fall flavors everyone loved so much like pumpkin pie and salted caramel. In addition to the cupcakes, we started making date cakes, which was pretty much a cake for two people and cookies. Up until now, I only sold cupcakes.

  I began to understand that if I wanted to stay in business, I was going to have to be more of a bakery. Not only was the city making my life very difficult lately with all kinds of restrictions on what you could and couldn’t do in downtown Olympia, but I always had a huge fluctuation in business. One day we were slammed, the next, barely anyone. Having the patio now was nice, Friday and Saturday nights stayed busy as well as Sunday afternoons.