Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1)

by Nikki Belaire

  They hold each other until his heartbeat calms, but his face remains pale and drawn. Sitting side by side, he presses her fingers flat between his palms. Lost in his thoughts, he stares at their coupled hands.

  “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

  A few minutes pass before he responds. “I think I was in second grade. I came home from school and walked into the kitchen.” Goosebumps cover her arms and legs at his voice, so distant and lost. “My mother was kneeling on the floor, rocking forward, holding her head. I guess he had hit her. He was standing over her screaming, calling her names. I was paralyzed. So scared I couldn’t move.”

  Nick shakes his head and stands up, staring into the distance at something only he can see. She wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head on his back, needing to keep the connection between them as he trusts her with his heartbreak.

  “Then, he was quiet. I thought he was leaving. I thought it was over. But it wasn’t. He reared back and kicked her hard in the stomach, and she went flying across the tile. I tried to go to her, but he pushed me away, backhanded me across the face. Screamed at me to go to my room. I was too scared to do anything else, so I ran to my room and locked the door. I laid on my bed until morning. No one ever came for me.”

  The lump in her throat strangles her voice, and she can barely push the words out. “I’m so sorry.”

  He entwines their hands and takes a deep, shuddering breath. “It all came rushing back, seeing you on the floor in front of me. I think it’s the last time I ever saw her.” He brings her hand to his mouth and kisses her knuckles. “I’m sorry if I frightened you.”

  Heaviness fills her heart. Amidst his own suffering, he still takes care of her. Regardless of her uncertainty about his job, his love for her remains clear. “No, you didn’t. I was just worried about you. It breaks my heart both of you went through that.”

  “She’s been on my mind a lot lately, since meeting you.” Turning around, he cups her face before kissing her softly. “I’m on the Board of Directors for the L.A. chapter of the Domestic Violence Foundation.”

  Her stomach twitches at his comment. He doesn’t know she researched him and learned about his involvement with the charity. Knowing the reason behind it intensifies her guilt even more.

  “Their annual gala is this Saturday, and I want you to go with me.”

  “Of course. I’d be honored to be your date.”

  “Thank you.” He strokes her hair, as if comforting himself as well as her, while his brow remains furrowed. “I’m sorry you didn’t get your shower.”

  “It’s okay. If you stay with me tonight, I’ll need another one anyway.” A little bit of spark returns to his eyes at her naughty comment. “Are you hungry?”

  He nods. “Starving.”

  “Come on, then. Let’s go find something to eat.”

  * * * *

  They peer into the refrigerator. Yogurt, carrot sticks, cottage cheese, and white wine. “I guess it’s kind of girl food, isn’t it? How about I order a pizza?” She smiles at him and wrinkles her nose, adorable in her unnecessary embarrassment. The rattle of the garage door interrupts their discussion. Her face lights up before she pushes against the handle. “That’s Carrie. The birthday party for Nathan’s grandma must be over.”

  Carrie walks into the kitchen carrying a stack of white boxes. Winking at Nick, she smiles. “I thought that might be your sweet Audi in the driveway.”

  He returns the sentiment before taking the packages from her and setting them on the counter. “Hi, Carrie.”

  She begins opening them, revealing an assortment of sandwiches. “Are you guys hungry? We have tons of leftovers, so eat up.”

  The enticing combination of fresh-baked bread and spicy mustard makes his stomach growl. Not having eaten since last night, he’s ravenous.

  Nathan walks in carrying two bags of chips and a carton of bottled beer. He adds them to the spread on the counter and offers his hand. “Hi, I’m Nathan.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Nick.”

  Glancing at her watch, Carrie pats Nathan on the butt. “Look, you’re even home in time to watch your precious game.”

  “Yes!” Nathan walks into the living room and flips on the TV. Carrie and Shae both laugh as he sinks down onto the sofa, mesmerized by the screen. Without taking his eyes off it, he yells back toward them, “Hey, Nick. Come and check out the game.”

  Shae smiles and nods at him. “Go on. I need to work on the Sangria.”

  Another reason he loves her—easy-going and good-natured with her friends and him. He kisses her on the cheek and takes his plate of sandwiches to the sofa.

  Carrie shakes her head. “What the hell? The men are lying in front of the TV, and the women are in the kitchen cooking. Is this not the twenty-first century?”

  Nathan leans over and nudges him. “This will really get her riled up.” Their playful banter makes him smile. Shae’s lucky to have such good friends. Carrie’s a handful, but it looks like her fiancé can keep up. Nathan yells back over his shoulder again, “Woman, bring us some beers.”

  Nick coughs with laughter, almost choking on his sandwich. Carrie grabs two bottles and walks into the living room. Her sweet smile to Nick contradicts the fire burning in her eyes at Nathan. He tries to keep from laughing as he accepts the beer from her. “Thank you, Carrie.”

  She stands in front of Nathan, blocking his view. Unscrewing the top, she lowers herself down to straddle him. “You want a beer, baby?”

  He nods his head. Taking the tip of her tongue, she licks around the rim before taking a long drink. She kisses him and holds the bottle to his mouth. “I’ll bring you a beer because we’re dating, and I’m still pretending to be nice. But, after we’re married, if you call me ‘woman’ again, I’ll take this bottle and stick it—”

  “Okay, you two.” Shae’s warning from the kitchen interrupts their exchange. “We have company.”

  Nick shakes his head and holds up his hand. “Don’t stop on my account.”

  Carrie kisses Nathan on the cheek and climbs off his lap. He winks at her before taking a sip. “Thanks, woman.”

  The game and Carrie’s antics aren’t enough to distract him from what happened in the bedroom. His memories have faded, and he can’t quite picture his mom’s face anymore. Not wanting to upset her, he couldn’t tell Shae when the memories came flooding back the image he saw in his head had turned into Shae on the floor being beaten, her injuries at the hands of his father. Waves of nausea flow over him. He takes a deep breath, trying to push away the thought. Her sweet voice brings him back to the present.

  “I thought you might want this instead.” She stands in front of him, a small glass of whiskey in her outstretched hand. Worry etches her face before she smiles at him.

  God, how he loves her. All he wants to do is bury himself in her and shut out the rest of the world. “Thank you, sweetness.” He sets the tumbler on the coffee table and stands up. Cupping her face, he kisses her on the forehead. “I need to make a call. I’ll be right back.”

  Outside, he leans against his car and finds the number in his phone. Illogical yet persistent dread coils in his stomach he must eradicate. For her and for himself.

  “Good afternoon, Arbor Meadows. How may I direct your call?”

  “Fourth floor, please.”

  The chirpiness leaves her voice. He asks for the department of lost causes. “One moment, please.”

  A new voice comes on the line, subdued reflecting the lack of hope for the patients residing there. “Fourth floor, this is Margaret. How may I help you?”

  “I need to check on the condition of a patient, Salvador DeMarco.”

  “May I ask who’s calling, please?”

  “This is his…” He swallows down the bile in his throat before he can continue. “Son, Nick DeMarco.”

  “Yes, Mr. DeMarco. There’s no change in your father’s condition.” Sympathy fills her voice. “You realize, sir, his prognosis will not chan
ge. His vegetative state is permanent. I know how much you must love your father. Maybe a visit would be of benefit to you. He rarely receives any visitors.”

  “Thank you.” He hangs up.

  Only two other houses are visible on Shae’s street within her gated neighborhood. Two boys about a quarter mile down the road play basketball in their driveway. The faint drumbeat of the ball bouncing on the ground, with an occasional metal clank from hitting the goal, is oddly comforting. The kids look about the same age he was when his mother died. His hope is they are really as carefree as they appear.

  Glancing at his watch, he dials another number.

  * * * *

  Working side-by-side, Shae cuts the remaining fruit for the sangria, while Carrie shreds chicken for the enchiladas. After months of waking up in a different city every few days, being at home, cooking and hanging out with her friends, is a welcome change from the chaotic pace of a worldwide tour. She smiles to herself. Having Nick here is a nice adjustment too.

  Her heart flutters at the thought of him. Today has been a turning point in their relationship. He helps her see past her hesitation and makes her mind accept what her heart already knows. She wants to be with him, a real couple, in an actual relationship. And tonight, they’re lucky enough to enjoy a simple dinner with friends.

  Carrie gasps and jerks up. “Oh, shit! I left the cake in the car. Nathan, can you please go outside and get it? My hands are covered in sauce.”

  “Yeah, just a second. Let me see if he makes this shot.”

  Shae’s mouth waters at the mention of dessert. “What kind is it?”

  “Black forest, chocolate with cherries and whipped cream on the top.”

  “That sounds amazing.”

  Never taking his eyes off the TV, Nathan stands up from the sofa and walks backwards to the garage door. “I’m only doing this because we’re dating. If we were married, I would tell you to get it your damn self.”

  “I know, baby, but please save the dirty talk for the bedroom.”

  Once a commercial appears on the screen, Nathan pushes the door open and walks outside. Shae laughs at the delayed departure, his unwillingness to miss even a single second of the game. “He’s such a guy.”

  As soon as the handle clicks shut, Carrie pounces on her. “Good, he’s gone. I’m dying to know. Did you and Nick do it?”

  “Carrie! That’s so tacky.”

  “Tacky is spending the last two hours singing Firework and Baby with a group of tone-deaf, karaoke-loving senior citizens. Now, I’ve done my good deed for the day, and I want my reward. Tell me!”

  Heat crawls up her cheeks as her friend stares at her smiling and wide-eyed. Carrie knows her too well to be able to deny it.

  “I knew it!” Carrie gives her an awkward hug, trying not to get sauce on her dress. “I’m glad to see you happy.”

  “Thanks, I am happy. More than I’ve been in a really long time.”

  “Soooo, how was it?”

  Everything she imagined with a man who’s loving and protective, yet unbelievably sexy. His sweet murmurings in her ear, reminding her how much he loves her, how happy she makes him, how they belong together. Holding her so close, almost as if he couldn’t get enough. Blazing a fire through her while she melted from his touch. “Wonderful. He’s—”

  “Huge, right? With a body like his, you can just tell he’s got a big—”

  “Oh, my God! Don’t say it!” She shakes her head. “I was going to say he’s very generous. He seemed to care more about my, um, happiness than his own.”

  “Oh, he was happy. Believe me.” Carrie winks at her, enjoying their conversation too much. “Guys get off on making girls scream their names.”

  Shae laughs and rolls her eyes. The naughty book comes back to haunt them. “It wasn’t like that. I don’t know how to explain it. He just…I think he really does love me.”

  The door swings open, and Nathan walks in carrying another large white box. “Damn. Remind me never to get on Nick’s bad side.”

  Shae’s mouth goes dry, her declaration of joy short-lived. “What are you talking about?”

  “He’s reaming somebody out on the phone. I wouldn’t want to be on the other end of that beat-down.” He sets the cake next to the rest of the food on the counter. “Shae, are you sure you know what you’re getting yourself into with this guy?”

  Carrie shakes her head at him. “Don’t start.”

  He shrugs before grabbing another sandwich and walking back to the sofa. “I’m just saying, does she really want to be involved with a guy when she can’t hear his phone conversations?”

  Carrie wipes off her hands and puts her arm around Shae’s shoulder. “Nick loves you and wants to protect you. Remember what he told you about keeping his business and personal lives separate? That’s why he went outside.”

  Her heart plummets as the realization sinks in. She just made love to a man she doesn’t understand, doesn’t really know. “I appreciate that, but I need to know what I’m being protected from.”

  Taking a deep breath, she steps into the garage and pauses. He’s hidden from his spot in the driveway, yet his voice vibrates with anger, low and deep, just like at the coffee house. “You said you wanted this. You said you could do it without fucking it up. Now, here it is, two hours after you were supposed to call me with an update, and it’s still not fucking done.”

  She steps outside. His eyes lock with hers as the corners of his mouth turn down and wrinkles line his forehead. Her heart pounds in her chest as they stare at each other, powerless to speak or move. Unable to comprehend the change in him from just a few minutes ago.

  “Yeah, I’m here.”

  He steps forward and caresses her cheek, his eyes seared with worry. He shakes his head and holds up two fingers, but she remains motionless. Desperate to understand what he hides. Turning away, he walks a few feet behind his car, dropping his voice, yet the fury still rings through the air.

  “Don’t think what happened to Curtis can’t happen to you too. You’ve got one hour to keep everything we’ve worked for from being destroyed. I don’t have to explain to you what it means if you don’t.”

  Now, she knows. The reality of his business he keeps from her. Unable to think about the meaning behind his threat, she rushes back into the house.

  * * * *

  Nick shoves his phone in his pocket and takes a deep breath before turning around. Trying to force his brain to generate the perfect words to soothe her fear, erase the doubt he just created. “Shae, I—”

  She’s gone.

  Fuck!

  He races through the garage and jerks open the door, scanning the combined kitchen and family room area. Carrie sprinkles cheese over a casserole dish while Nathan slouches on the sofa, engrossed in the game. Both of them oblivious to the turmoil churning in his chest. “Where is she, Carrie?”

  “In her bedroom.” Her hand pauses over the enchiladas and she looks up, her face drawn with worry. “Be careful, Nick. She’s pretty freaked out.”

  His gut twists at her warning. “She’s not the only one.” He sprints down the hallway and knocks before turning the knob. “Shae?” The muffled hiss of the shower makes his stomach plunge. She’s hiding from him. He runs his hands through his hair. Why the hell did she have to come outside?

  He drops into an arm chair in the corner of the room. The side table holds another stack of books next to a lone fashion magazine marked with a hand-written sticky note. Shae’s face graces the cover. Beautiful as always, but he knows her smile is posed. Not the genuine one that glows with joy and makes his heart race. The one he probably won’t earn any more today.

  I told you this dress would look gorgeous on you. Always listen to your stylist.

  The post-it is signed with a smiley face and an arrow pointing to the headline.

  Red Hot Fantasy.

  He cringes at the implication. Jason’s right—Team Shae operates on overdrive to pump the media with salacious content without any
connection to reality. Readers have no idea about her true personality, the sweet innocence she embodies. An angel compared to the other women he’s had in his life.

  Possessive. Demanding. Insatiable. Common traits of the women he’s dated. The last one seduced him with her blatant wantonness and repelled him with her callousness. She lives her life how she likes her sex—hard, fast, and dirty. Her soul as hell-bound as his. Easy to understand why the only place they got along was in the bedroom.

  His obvious reluctance to move beyond just a casual affair was the death knell of their relationship. She knew how to wound him and plunged the knife deep, mocking his dedication to the Foundation, telling him “women must like it if they stay with a man who hits them. They could leave if they really wanted to.” Their breakup was quick and ugly. Another failed relationship from his perverse habit of dating brash, emotionally damaging women who left him disappointed and unsatisfied.

  Until Shae.

  She changes everything. The exact opposite of his usual type, he knows his love for her borders on obsession. He can’t let her slip out of his grasp. She can’t be the one who got away because of his fucked-up world.

  The bathroom door opens and Shae steps out, her eyes widening as she catches sight of him.

  Rising from the chair, he forces himself to seek her permission, unable to assume he’s welcome in her room or her life. “I hope it’s okay I’m in here. I can wait outside if you want me to.”

  “No, you can stay.” She sits down on the bed, wrapping her arms around her legs, her pink robe tucked under her feet with her chin resting on her knees.

  He gestures toward the bathroom. “I guess this means I’m not spending the night anymore.”

  Her eyes drop to the floor, and she strokes the fabric with her fingertips. “I don’t know what it means. I just felt…dirty and wanted to take a shower.”

  His stomach clenches. The impact of his phone call is more damaging than he expects. “I’m sorry about what happened outside.”

  “Are you sorry about what you said, or that I overheard?”