It's Only Make Believe

by Roseanne Dowell

  “Oh she found us all right, and she insisted on sitting down with us. I swear, Sar, that woman has the guts of a football team. Brad couldn’t have been nastier to her, and she totally ignored it. I had to leave the table I felt so uncomfortable. And when I came out they were huddled together. I almost wonder if it was all an act. And Brad’s leaving this afternoon. God only knows for how long this time.” The words were out of her mouth before she even thought about them. She hated to admit her marriage was in trouble but Sarah was her best friend, and she always told her everything. Besides she had to confide in someone or she’d go crazy with worry.

  “I can’t believe he sees anything in Ruby. Come on, Shell you’ve seen the girls he dated she’s not his type. My guess she was a rebellion against Mommy and Daddy and their insistence on who to date and when. You did the same thing, you almost dated that guy, Ralph, remember, the pool guy.” Sarah laughed. “Your parents would have had a fit if you had gone out with him. So you started this business instead. You know your parents hate it.”

  “Hey Ralph was cool, well he was in the beginning. And I would have gone out with him if he hadn’t been arrested for stealing. I’m still not convinced he took Mrs. Johnson’s necklace. It sure looked like a set-up to me. And you don’t know Mrs. Johnson. She’s after everyone since Mr. Johnson passed away.” Michele looked at the shocked look on Sarah’s face. “Well she is, Sar, she even went after the tennis instructor at the club. My guess is Ralph refused her, and she set him up. You wait and see if she doesn’t drop the charges before the trial. I bet her necklace suddenly shows up.”

  “No way, how could anyone do something like that? Is she really that conniving and revengeful?”

  “Well, I remember my mother telling my dad about an incident when she didn’t get voted president of their woman’s guild. Mom said she started some horrible rumors about Mrs. Blair, the woman who got elected. Fortunately Mom squelched the rumors and talked to her so she quit spreading them. So no, it wouldn’t surprise me, and yes, she is that revengeful.” Michele stood. “Time for work.”

  Michele put Brad and Ruby out of her mind and picked up the phone to call the doctor’s office to make an appointment. She stared at the calendar and wrote 10:00 AM Dr. Hill for the next day. It surprised her they were able to see her so quickly, but when Michele told the receptionist, Rosalie, how sick she’d been - Rosalie thought the doctor ought to see her right away.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  Michele sat in the doctor’s office, her stomach flip-flopping whether from nerves or her pregnancy, she wasn’t sure. Dr. Hill’s exam confirmed her suspicion, and now she waited in his office for him to come in to talk to her.

  He walked in, sat down and pulled her chart from a pile on his desk and opened it. “I’d say you’re about two months pregnant and your due date is… let see,” He picked up a chart and did some calculations. “March 5th give or take a week or two. I’d like you to have an ultra sound - that will give us a better idea. Any questions?”

  Michele sat stunned. March 5th - that seemed such a long way off. “What can I do about my morning sickness? I wish it was just in the mornings. It crops up at the unlikeliest times.”

  “It should pass within the month. In the meantime keep plenty of crackers nearby. Take deep breaths and eat several small, light meals a day and drink plenty of water. We don’t want you dehydrated. I know it’s annoying but it’s not anything to worry about. Some women experience it a lot and others aren’t affected by it at all. I guess you’re one of the lucky ones.”

  Lucky, was he nuts. It was the most god awful feeling she’d ever experienced. Michele didn’t care much for his sense of humor, but she did like him. Liked his easy going manner and the gentle way he examined her. And she especially liked the way his brown eyes crinkled when he smiled and at least he had a sense of humor. Besides, he wasn’t old like Doctor Boone, probably only in his mid-forties, a doctor who’d be around for a long time. There wasn’t any reason to change doctors once her parents found out about her pregnancy. She knew her mother would insist. For some reasons her mother thought old Doctor Boone was the end all and be all of doctors. Oh well she’d have another argument on her hands, but she’d stick to her guns this time.

  Sarah’s words about rebellion came to her mind. Was she rebelling? Nah, she just wanted to live her own life. After all, she was a grown woman capable of making her own decisions. Besides Dr. Hill went to Woman’s Hospital and her mother swore by that hospital. So she couldn’t complain about that since any doctor fortunate enough to be on staff there had to be good, didn’t he? That was her mother’s theory anyway.

  “Any more questions?” Dr. Hill’s voice broke through her thoughts.

  “Uh no, I don’t think so.”

  “Okay,” Dr. Hill stood, ending the appointment. “Make an appointment for next month, but if you have any problems in between, no matter how small, please call. I’d rather tell you it’s nothing, then to have you ignore it and find out it’s serious. Okay?” He extended his hand to her.

  Michele shook his hand and smiled. She liked that about him too, that he didn’t think her questions silly. She left the office. Now how to tell Brad?

  CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

  Michele arrived home to the aroma of something spicy. Her stomach turned over. She held back the nausea and went into the kitchen. What had Anna cooked now?

  Anna lifted the lid off a pan, picked up a spoon, and tasted. She held the spoon out to Michele. “Something special, Creamy Avocado soup, is good for the stomach, and a nice salad. Light just like you wanted.”

  “What’s that spicy smell?” Michele held her hand over her stomach, the strong spices made her queasy.

  “Ah that’s from the late lunch I made the Mister. Chicken Salsa Verdi. Come sit down, eat, you’ll feel better. I’ll make some toast to dip in the soup. Yes?”

  Darn, she had missed Brad, but maybe that was a good thing. Still uncertain how to tell him at least she didn’t have to avoid the subject now, this evening would be time enough. Michele sat at the table. She had to eat. Between hunger pangs and this nausea her stomach turned inside out. Nerves certainly didn’t help. At least she had a reprieve with Brad gone. She took a spoon full of soup. The color and smoothness appealed to her. She rolled the soup around on her tongue and relished the creaminess as well as the taste. Already her stomach began to settle down. “Anna, this is excellent. Just what the doctor ordered.”

  “Did you go to the doctor, Missy?” Anna hovered nearby, a worried look on her face.

  Going to have to be careful, she couldn’t have Anna figuring out her problem. Michele laughed. “It’s just an expression, Anna. But honestly this soup is delicious. Thank you.”

  After dinner, Michele went to her room and lay down. For some reason she was exhausted, and she’d forgotten to pick up the prenatal vitamins the doctor prescribed. Tiredness was normal, besides the fact she hadn’t been sleeping well lately. Between Brad being gone or sleeping in the guest room, she tossed and turned most nights. Where was he now? She hated the picture in her mind of Ruby and Brad’s heads close together, whispering. Were they talking about her? Planning something? Brad had promised his faithfulness, but could she believe him? Trust him? Was he just in this marriage for the money? Was he like all the others and money was the name of the game? The more you had the more you wanted. She almost wished now she’d stuck to her guns and refused to marry him. The Ashcrofts could have the business for all she cared. What was the big deal anyway? She’d never understand why her grandparents or parents couldn’t change that contract. It made no sense to her at all. Now look at her, pregnant and her husband halfway across the country with another woman. Stupid, that’s what she was, plain everyday stupid. Well, Mr. Brad Lawson, I’m not going through with this. I can’t stay married to someone who isn’t even here half the time.

  But she had to. She promised a year and it had only been a few months. She had no choice, besides the baby needed a name.
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  Michele sat on her bed and twisted the emerald cut diamond ring on her finger. She looked at the plain gold band next to it, a symbol of their marriage. Okay, she’d stay married until the baby was born. Besides, what choice did she have? But then what? What would happen to her and the baby? No way she’d let Brad have custody. She already loved this child growing inside her. So she hadn’t been ready for marriage or a child, but things had changed. Now she knew - no matter what - she wanted this baby, however it was conceived. It didn’t matter that Brad didn’t love her, she loved him. Probably always had and always would. That couldn’t be changed. But after...well she’d deal with after later.

  The phone rang, interrupting her thoughts. She grabbed up the receiver, hoping it was Brad. Her mother’s voice came on the line.

  “Michele, you must come to dinner tonight. I know it’s a late invitation, but Myra and Jack are coming and Myra and I need to talk to you.” Michele held the phone away from her ear as her mother rambled. Typical, she didn’t give Michele a moment to answer.

  “We’ll see you about seven, dear and we won’t take no for an answer.”

  Michele looked at the clock and groaned. Already six o’clock. Did her mother think everyone ate that late?

  “I’m sorry, Mother, I just finished dinner.” At least that wasn’t a lie. Her mother and Myra were the last ones she wanted to see today.

  “Then come for dessert. If you don’t come here Myra and I are coming there. This is really important dear, we must talk to you.”

  Great, what choice did she have but to agree? Besides, if she went there and didn’t like the topic of conversation she could leave. If they came here, she’d be stuck.

  “Okay, Mother, I’ll see you around seven-thirty, eight o’clock.” That should give her enough time to change into something presentable. For some unknown reason, her mother insisted on dressing for dinner. It was tradition, she said. A tradition, Michele delighted in breaking living on her own. What a silly habit. It made absolutely no sense to dress up unless you had company. But her mother insisted, in fact she even dressed for dinner when she was alone. Oh well, to each his own. She went to her closet and picked out just the right outfit, a lavender sundress with a lightweight white jacket. What could her mother and Myra want to talk to her about now? More than likely, it had something to do with Brad. She laughed. That’s all her mother and Myra ever wanted to talk about. She could just imagine their reaction when she told them of her pregnancy. There’d be no living with them. And lucky Brad wouldn’t have to deal with it. She looked at her watch. Time to go.

  CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

  She walked into her mother’s dining room just as her father and Jack Lawson got up from the table. Time for their after dinner cigar and brandy, in the library of course, her mother couldn’t stand the smell of smoke.

  She kissed her father and Jack hello and joined her mother and Myra.

  “Oh good you’re here. Do sit down, dear. How are you feeling? You look a little peaked.” Her mother patted the chair next to her.

  Had she heard about Michele’s illness? Surely she couldn’t have. At least not unless Anna said something. Even though Michele knew the cook was hired to spy, she suspected Anna’s loyalty didn’t lie with Mrs. Markey.

  “I’m fine, Mother, just a bit tired. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Michele almost bit her tongue. Why had she said that?

  “Oh, don’t you sleep well when Brad’s gone, dear?” Myra asked.

  “Actually, yes I do but the last couple of nights I’ve woke up with these ideas for a room I’m designing.” Give them more fuel for the fire, but she’d be darned if she’d let them know the real reason. At least not until she told Brad.

  “I honestly don’t know why you feel the need to work, Michele.”

  Didn’t take her mother long to go off, and running. Michele sipped her water and leaned back. May as well sit back and listen, no point arguing. Let them speak their piece and then she’d leave.

  “I agree,” Myra said. “Why in my day any woman that worked... well never mind that.” She waved her hand as if trying to swat the subject away.

  “The real reason we asked you to come over, dear,” Her mother picked up the conversation, “is we understand Brad passed up an opportunity for a promotion. A promotion, I might add, that would allow him to stay home where he belongs.”

  Michele sat forward. Now this was news. He hadn’t mentioned anything about it to her. A flash of Ruby’s sneer went through her mind, and it took all her effort to dismiss it.

  “Yes dear,” Myra said. “Do you have any idea why he would do something like that?”

  Michele took a deep breath. Any idea, she hadn’t even known about it, she had no idea. “Brad had his reasons. After all he’s involved in this ad campaign right now. I believe he feels the need to see it through.” Or see Ruby. “At any rate it’s his job, his choice.”

  “Really, Michele don’t you care your husband is half way across the country and gone more than he’s at home. What kind of marriage can you possibly have living like that?” Her mother’s temper raised a level. Her mother hardly ever raised her voice and the sound of it now startled Michele.

  Care, they should know just how much she cared. But what could she do about it? And quitting her job sure wasn’t the answer. They had no idea the deal she and Brad made. No, staying home wouldn’t change a thing. Brad didn’t love her and no amount of trying to make a home for him would make a darn bit of difference. Michele stood. She’d had enough of this conversation. She was tired of them telling her how to run her marriage, and this news shook her.

  “You forget, Mother, how often Daddy was gone when I was little. It’s all part of the job. Or as Grandpa says, it’s all part of learning the business. Whatever the reason Brad refused the promotion, I’m sure it was a good one.” She leaned over and kissed her mother’s cheek, something she never did, actually making contact. “I have to run, but thank you for inviting me over.” She leaned over and planted a kiss on Myra’s cheek too, and loved the woman’s startled reaction. “I’ll tell Brad you send your love. Night.”

  Michele hurried to the door, holding back tears. How dared he refuse a promotion and why hadn’t he told her? Didn’t she have the right to know these things? She was his wife after all, no matter what kind of deal they made. He could have at least told her about it. Surely he knew their mothers would find out and tell her. Obviously he’d rather spend his time with Ruby. The thought tore at her heart. And to make matters worse she had to tell him about her pregnancy. How was she going to do that?

  The ringing phone greeted her when she opened the door. Her heart skipped a beat. Was it Brad? She hurried to the phone and hesitated. Did she want to talk to him? Should she bring up the fact he passed over the promotion? The day had gone from bad to worse. She let the machine answer it and listened to her husband explain that he couldn’t come home the next day as planned. What a surprise. Tears trickled down her face. What was she going to do?

  Right now she was going to bed. Her legs trembled so badly, she could barely stand. She could hardly hold her eyes open. All the tension with her mother didn’t helped. She’d deal with the problem in the morning. Exhausted and anger overwhelmed her. Since Brad wouldn’t be home for at least another day, she had time to figure out what to say, how to tell him about the baby. She sighed. This should have been exciting news. In her fantasy world, she’d fix a romantic meal with candlelight and wear something sexy. Build up to the exciting news. But this was the real world, and their marriage was a sham. How would he take the news?

  She didn’t know her husband well enough to make a prediction. He had teased about their parents wanting a grandchild, but surely he hadn’t meant it. Or had he? She remembered him playing with Mikayla. Remembered how he lifted her in the air and the delightful giggles. He certainly seemed to enjoy her. But that was only for a moment. Having your own baby was different. How did he feel about becoming a father? About having a baby aroun
d all the time, a child to raise? They had never discussed parenthood? Heck, they hadn’t discussed a lot of things. Important things that most normal couples discussed. Because their marriage wasn’t normal. Wasn’t real. She’d agreed to a make believe marriage and now she had to suffer the consequences. God help her.

  Michele pushed the thoughts from her mind and fell asleep.

  CHAPTER TWENTY NINE

  As usual, Michele woke before the clock went off. Thoughts of her pregnancy and Brad surfaced, and she pushed them from her mind. She had work to do. She had to meet with Jane O’Neil. Dared she bring up the subject of Mikayla and Louise? No this was a professional meeting - that was best left for a personal, private moment. Michele wondered if Louise had contacted Joe Kirby. She hoped so.

  After she showered and dressed, she went in search of Anna. She wanted a light breakfast, maybe some fruit. For the first time in days she didn’t feel nauseated when she opened her eyes. Anna looked at her when she came into the kitchen.

  “Missy slept well, I can see the black circles are gone.”

  “Yes, I did, Anna and I’m famished. Do we have any fresh fruit?”

  Anna cut up a cantaloupe and arranged strawberries and peaches on a plate. The very sight of it made her mouth water.

  The back door burst open and Louise stood framed in the doorway, looking frustrated and harried. Tears fell from her eyes.

  “He took her! He took Miki.” She slumped against the doorway, and Michele hurried to help her.

  “Who took Miki? What are you talking about? Louise, what happened?”

  “Mr. O’Neil. I know it was him. I was in the shower I heard a noise, and when I came out she was gone. Her car seat, diaper bag, bottles, everything gone, even her formula.