It's Only Make Believe

by Roseanne Dowell

  Cleared up, right now he wanted to chuck it. Drop it in Ruby’s hands. If Edgehurst didn’t agree to these plans within the next couple of days, that’s exactly what he’d do. Unreasonable, inconsiderate jerk. What made him think he could run other people’s lives? If Ruby hadn’t been standing there, no way he’d leave Michele. But she was anxious to get on with this campaign. He already made up his mind to convince his father to promote her. Let Ruby deal with these egotistical clients. She thrived on it. And she didn’t have anything to tie her down. She could go flying off halfway across the country at a moment’s notice, even in the middle of the night. He wanted nothing more than to go back in that room. Back to his wife’s bedside. Once this campaign was done, he was never leaving again. This wasn’t a life for a married man, a family man. How the heck had his father done it all those years?

  CHAPTER FORTY THREE

  Tears stung Michele’s eyes when Ruby put her arm through Brad’s and all but dragged him from the room. Her smug look turned into a vicious, conniving grin. Chalk up another point for Ruby. She swiped at the tears, no longer able to hold them back. She hated that woman. She’d met people she disliked but never had she hated anyone with such intensity. What was she going to do about Ruby and Brad? What was she going to do about her marriage? A sound at the door interrupted her thoughts. Oh great just what she needed now, her mother and Myra.

  “Wasn’t that Brad I saw getting on the elevator?” Myra hardly stepped into the room when the words were out of her mouth.

  “Yes it was.”

  “Who was that with him?” Her mother wasn’t about to keep quiet about this. Michele knew her too well. She’d probe and pry until Michele answered her.

  “That was his assistant.”

  “What was she doing here? And why did Brad leave? Is he coming back?” Myra stood next to the bed.

  Worry and concern lined Myra’s face. Well why wouldn’t it? That was her son. The son she forced into marriage. Maybe Myra realized her mistake. She knew Brad had a thing going with Ruby, had disapproved of it. Another person who thought they could control her kid. Just like Patrick. Thank God, he came to his senses before it ruined his son’s life. What a shame it took something so drastic to make him realize his son’s happiness came first.

  Of course, in this case, Myra was probably right. Ruby only wanted the money. Money, power, influence, and standing in their society. Well let her have it. She couldn’t fight it anymore. Every time she thought she and Brad were making headway, Ruby reared her ugly head, and Michele crashed back to earth.

  Let him go, she couldn’t take this up and down anymore. She’d rather he just left now. Why continue this charade? Every time she saw Brad with Ruby a spike went through her heart. How was she even going to live in the same town with them? At least they didn’t travel in the same social circles.

  “Michele, are you all right?” Her mother stood next to her bed, soothed the hair from her forehead the same way Brad had done a few minutes earlier.

  All right? Michele didn’t know if she ever be all right again. Why had she allowed herself to fall in love with Brad? Allowed it? No way, she didn’t allow it. It just happened. “Yes, Mother, I’m all right. I’m just tired.’ Michele squeezed her eyes to keep the tears from falling.

  “Is Brad coming back, dear?” Myra repeated her question.

  Coming back? As far as Michele was concerned there was no reason. But she didn’t want to hurt Myra. She’d find out soon enough. “He had work to do. He said he’d call.”

  “Work!” Myra practically spit the word out.

  Never had Michele seen such anger on Myra’s face. She wouldn’t want to be on the other end of that wrath. She had only seen Myra angry once before. Brad and she had climbed one of the big old trees in the yard and Brad got stuck. They had to call the fire department to get him down. Myra was furious. Michele realized now it was fear not embarrassment that had her so upset. At the time, she thought Myra was angry because she had to call the fire department. This time Myra showed a different kind of anger. She wouldn’t want to be in Brad’s shoes when Myra got a hold of him. The thought almost made her smile. If she didn’t hurt so badly, she probably would have. Michele closed her eyes. She didn’t want to deal with anyone anymore. Not tonight anyway. Especially not Myra and her mother. She didn’t need the questions and sympathetic looks and told you so attitudes.

  Finally, her mother leaned down and kissed her cheek, but Michele didn’t open her eyes. Let them think she was sleeping. Although, it’d be a long time before she fell asleep. Another long restless night lied ahead of her. Pictures of Ruby and Brad wouldn’t leave her mind. Were the dreams true? A subconscious warning to her? She didn’t know. All she knew was Brad and Ruby were a reality, and she had to deal with. She fell asleep without realizing it.

  The sound of breakfast trays being banged about woke Michele. Who ever thought you could get rest in a hospital was sadly mistaken. She swore no one did anything quiet around here. Thoughts of Ruby and Brad flitted into her mind. It surprised her that she had slept. Lord, she wished she could go home. Go home and somehow deal with Brad. Set him free. Make arrangements for the baby. She didn’t know if he’d want visitation. With his job and running about the country he wouldn’t have much time for that, but she’d compromise. Work with him whenever he was home.

  A child needed both parents, and whatever else was between her and Brad, she certainly wouldn’t prevent him from seeing his child. She hated the idea Ruby might play a part in her baby’s life, but there wasn’t much she could do about that. She only hoped Ruby would treat the child well. Somehow she couldn’t picture Ruby and a baby. Surely a baby would interfere with the lifestyle Ruby wanted. The jet set that’s the way Michele saw Ruby. Flitting off here and there. No ties. No responsibilities. Just her and Brad. Maybe Brad felt the same way. Maybe the baby would be a hindrance to him, too. Maybe he wished Michele had miscarried. No matter, she loved this baby regardless of how Brad felt.

  If he didn’t want to see the baby then so be it. She had no control over him. She knew his parents would see to it that he provided for it. And she wouldn’t withhold the child from them. If Brad didn’t want to see it, at least the baby would have two sets of grandparents that doted on it.

  Maybe she needed to get away. Go someplace and think this through without anyone’s influence. If she stayed here her mother and Myra would visit every day. Heck they’d probably just about move in. No, she couldn’t deal with that either. She needed time by herself. Needed to think. Maybe Andrea would let her stay there for a week or so. Not too far away - but far enough from interference. Would Dr. Hill allow her to travel that far, that was the question. She didn’t think a three hour drive would hurt her. Besides, if she was going to miscarry, then so be it. What difference did it make if she was here or in Nelsonville? She had to do something. If she couldn’t go now, maybe she’d take an extra week and go after. At least she could still work at home.

  “Good morning, Mrs. Lawson.” The nurse’s sing songy voice interrupted her thoughts. “How are you this morning?”

  Michele couldn’t help but smile at the nurse’s bubbly attitude. “I’m fine. Just waiting to go home.”

  “I understand that. I hated being in the hospital even when I had my kids. Sure not a place to get any rest is it?”

  Myra and her mother came in, interrupting the conversation while the nurse continued to take her blood pressure and temperature.

  “You look much better today, Michele.” Her mother leaned down and brushed her lips across Michele’s cheek.

  Michele sat up and smiled. “I feel much better.” Even well enough to deal with the two of them for a while. The aide brought her breakfast in and Michele swung her legs over the side of the bed.

  “Is Brad coming to pick you up?” Myra asked.

  Brad – Michele had managed to put him out of her mind for a while. It was too much to think about right now. All she wanted was to go home, get through the day. S
he had no idea what Brad’s plans were. More than likely he had worked well into the night with Ruby. If, in fact, they were working. She had no idea if he even went home.

  Dr. Hill came in while she was eating breakfast. “Everything looks good, and you can go home anytime you want. But I want to see you in my office in two weeks. Call the office when you get home and set up the appointment. Any questions?”

  “Nothing that I can think of.” Michele wanted to ask if she could take the ride down to Nelsonville, but didn’t dare with her mother and Myra sitting there. She’d have to ask when she called the office. She put her hand on her stomach. Maybe she ought to wait. Two weeks wasn’t all that long. Why risk it? She had plenty of time to make decisions before the baby was born. No point in being hasty.

  After Dr. Hill left, her mother went to the closet and got her clothes out. “Myra and I will take you home. No sense calling Brad since we’re already here.”

  Michele couldn’t disagree with her logic. Besides, she didn’t want to call Brad. Didn’t really want to see him either. Didn’t want to know if he wasn’t home. Didn’t want to deal with the whole mess of their marriage.

  CHAPTER FORTY FOUR

  Michele threw the car door open the minute her mother stopped. Brad’s car wasn’t in the drive, so either he hadn’t come home last night or he had already left. Maybe he even went out of town again. She didn’t care. Glad of the reprieve, she went into the house with Myra and her mother. Now, how to get rid of them without insulting or hurting them? She loved them both dearly, but right now she needed time alone to sort out her thoughts.

  Anna met them at the door. “Missy, you all right? Are you hungry? I’ll make breakfast.”

  “No, thank you, Anna, I ate at the hospital. Right now I’m just tired. I think I’m going upstairs to rest.” That should do it, now maybe Myra and her mother would leave. She didn’t want to ask Anna about Brad. At least not in front of them.

  Myra saved her the trouble. “Did we miss Mr. Lawson?”

  The look on Anna’s face told Michele Brad hadn’t been home. “Did Brad leave for the office already, Anna.” She hoped Anna took the cue from her. But sometimes the woman didn’t understand.

  “Yes, Missy, Mr. Lawson is gone.”

  Michele smiled. Smart lady, she didn’t lie. Although, why Michele felt the need to cover for Brad, she had no idea. So what if her mother and Myra knew Brad didn’t sleep at home last night. They were going to find out soon enough that the marriage was over. But still...she didn’t want them know just yet. Didn’t want them questioning her. She needed to think about this, needed to talk with Brad about it first. At least she owed him that much. He owed her that much.

  Michele kissed her mother and Myra goodbye. “I’m going to rest now. No need for you to stay. Anything I need Anna will get for me. Thank you for bringing me home. I’ll call you later.” She didn’t give them a chance to object but held the door for them to leave, and then went up to her room. She sat down on the bed, not the least bit tired. Visions of Ruby ran through her mind. The look on her face when she walked out of the hospital last night infuriated her. She needed to get her thoughts together. Needed a plan of action. Needed to know the right words to tell Brad the marriage was over. But mostly, she needed to compose herself. Even now she couldn’t hold back the tears.

  The doorbell rang, and she heard Anna speaking to someone.

  Suddenly Ruby stood framed in the doorway. A defiant sneer on her face, anger blazed from her eyes. “I suppose you know by now that Brad didn’t come home last night.” She raised her hand to silence any response from Michele.

  Not that Michele had a response. Just seeing Ruby here in her bedroom shocked her. She looked at the slender woman dressed in a stunning red suit. Such an air about her, but her icy blue eyes sent daggers into Michele. She could almost feel them piercing her heart. Attractive, but not beautiful. What did Brad see in her? She definitely wasn’t the type of women he usually dated. But maybe that was just it. The women he usually dated were women his parents, at least Myra, expected him to date. Women with the right background. Not necessarily Brad’s type. Maybe Ruby was Brad’s type.

  “Brad loves me, I told you that before. I’m telling you again. But he’s going to suggest you stay married for the baby’s sake.”

  Ruby’s words brought Michele back to awareness. What did she mean stay married for the baby’s sake?

  “He’s afraid you won’t let him see the baby otherwise. It’s not going to work. He won’t stop seeing me. He’ll just spend more time away from you. There’s no point to this, you know.” Ruby moved around the room while she talked, picking up things off the dresser and setting them back down. Finally she turned back to Michele. “Why don’t you just give him up? He’s even going to suggest you build a new house. But he doesn’t want you, Michele. Don’t ruin his life this way. You don’t want a husband who cheats on you.”

  Michele stared at Ruby. She wasn’t about to tell her she’d already come to the same conclusion. At least not without talking to Brad first. All hope that it was her imagination died in her. She was right all along. She had fooled herself for a while, especially on her honeymoon. She thought back to all the small things that led her to believe Brad might care about her. Most of it led to their physical attraction. Even now, she remembered how his hand felt on her forehead when he brushed the hair from her eyes. And the gentleness he showed when she fell down the steps. But he would have acted that way with anyone, even a stranger. She wanted Ruby out of here. Out of her bedroom, out of her house. And it was her house, at least for the time being. It didn’t matter that she hated it. She stood up and came face to face with Ruby.

  “Get out of my house.” She spoke in a quiet firm voice. What she really wanted was to scream at Ruby. Wanted to lash out at her. And worse she wanted to push her out of the room, down the steps, out the door. Out of her life. She wanted to hurt her like she hurt. Somehow, she maintained her composure even though her legs shook so badly she had no idea how they held her up.

  Ruby backed her way out the door, turned, and ran down the steps. Michele almost laughed. Ruby ran so fast she never stopped to look back. Maybe she’d been more menacing than she realized. But she didn’t care. The gall of that witch coming into her home and.... Michele squeezed her fists together. She couldn’t hold back the tears. Her heart wanted to bust through her chest. She picked up a sculpture off the dresser and threw it across the room. Damn them! Damn Brad for lying to her. She wanted to smash everything in sight.

  Anna raced up the stairs. “Is Missy all right?”

  Michele looked at Anna. The poor woman tried to catch her breath as she stood in the doorway, worry and concern lined her face. “I’m sorry Anna, I’m fine. I ...” Michele crumpled and sat on the bed her legs no longer strong enough to hold her up. She never remembered being so angry.

  Anna came into the room and sat on the bed next to Michele. She put her arms around her and rocked her. “It’s okay. Shush... it’s okay now. You just have a good cry. Anna’s here. Anna gonna take care you.”

  Her rich thick accent soothed Michele. “I’m sorry, Anna. I don’t know what came over me.”

  “I do. What that woman say to you, got you so upset?”

  Michele didn’t want to talk about it. She wanted the whole incident to just go away. But the words flowed out of her mouth, and she related the whole incident to Anna.

  “Well that woman run out of here like the devil hisself was after her. You scared her real good.” Anna patted Michele’s back. “Come on now, I fix you a cup of tea.”

  “Will you bring it up here, Anna? I want to rest and my legs are still so wobbly I’m not sure I can walk down the steps.” Besides she needed to mull this over. Figure out what to do. And where was Brad? He wasn’t with Ruby.

  Suddenly he was there, standing in the doorway. Michele looked away. She must look a fright. She didn’t want to talk to him yet. Didn’t trust her voice.

  “Michele, what�
��s wrong?” He came in the room and sat next to her on the bed.

  Michele glanced in the mirror. Her eyes were red and swollen. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She got up and went into the bathroom without answering. Think...what did she want to say to him? How did she want to approach this? Oh Lord, right now she didn’t even want to deal with it. Wanted it to all just go away.

  Brad was here, and she needed to confront him. Bring this marriage to an end. She didn’t want the marriage to end. She loved Brad. But she wouldn’t play second fiddle to Ruby or anyone else. She wanted a husband who loved her. Not one who stayed with her because of the baby. That wasn’t any kind of life to bring a child into. No the marriage had to end. Now. Today. She washed her face and took a deep breath.

  CHAPTER FORTY FIVE

  Michele walked back into the bedroom. She looked at Brad sitting on the bed, a worried look on his face. Did he know he was found out? Had he sent Ruby here to confront her? She crossed the room and sat in the chair. She needed to stay far away from him. If he touched her she’d melt.

  “Brad...we need to talk.” She put her hands in her lap to steady them, but she couldn’t keep them still. She pulled at her tissue, crumpled it, opened it, and crumpled it again. She focused on it as if it were the most important thing in the world.

  Brad stood, walked around the other side of the bed and sat down in the chair opposite her.

  “I think we should get a divorce now. I don’t want to wait the rest of the year.” There she said it. She let out the breath she’d been holding and held back the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes. She wasn’t going to cry. She refused to cry. All she wanted now was to get this over with.