Chasing Love

by Melissa West

“Yes, please.” Before I die of embarrassment.

  The two-hour ride to the campground, which Charlie claimed was one of the best spots in the Appalachians, was surprisingly peaceful. They talked about their lives up until that point, both avoiding especially personal bits that clearly neither was willing to share. The air cooled as they climbed higher up the mountain, and Lila thought she may have made a fatal mistake in forgetting to pack a jacket. But at least she had her sleeping bag for tonight, and never one to be especially cold, she felt sure she’d survive. It was just two days after all.

  “So, no big relationships?” Charlie asked with a grin over at her as they closed to the end of their chat about their love lives. “Gotta admit, I thought for sure you’d be married.”

  She shrugged. “Hey, I’m only twenty-eight. That’s not too old to meet someone. In fact, I was reading this story the other day about a couple who found each other in their eighties, neither had been married before, but they met and fell in love.”

  “Ah, I see. Didn’t realize you were holding out for the glory years to tie the knot.”

  She playfully pushed him. “I didn’t say I was waiting until I was in my eighties.”

  He pulled his attention from the road to look at her. “So what are you waiting for?”

  “I don’t know. I guess the right person. Someone who can give me all the things I want and I can give him all the things he wants.”

  Charlie went silent for a moment, then casually asked, “What do you want?”

  Lila went still, her thoughts on what she had wanted for her life before the incident changed everything. If things were different, if she wasn’t afraid and she knew she could trust the man she was with, what would she want?

  “I want to get married, have a family. Maybe a dog or a few chickens. A baby goat.”

  He laughed. “A few chickens? A goat?”

  She pointed at herself. “Vet.”

  “Point taken. All right, so the family thing.”

  “Don’t you want that?” she asked, hoping her tone didn’t give away how eager she was for his answer.

  Charlie went quiet, and Lila wondered what he was thinking, if maybe he’d already tried the family thing and it had failed. Maybe with Jade. He’d hinted that there was a story around Jade, but Lila had never been the sort of person to pry, even if she was dying to know.

  The moment drew long, and Lila thought he wasn’t going to answer her, when he said, “There was a time I thought about it. I pictured buying a house together and settling down, seeing if children would work into the equation, but my plan wasn’t the same as hers.”

  “Jade.”

  He tensed, his hands flexing around the steering wheel. Clearly, the conversation made him uncomfortable, and once again, Lila considered changing the subject. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin Charlie’s mood before the trip had even started. “I don‘t like to talk about her. To anyone, really. My brothers don’t know the half of it. Honestly, I’ve told you more than I’ve told anyone.”

  “You don’t have to talk about it. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, but sometimes not talking about is worse than getting it out, you know? It’s like this entire part of my life has been sitting there in the back of my mind, tucked away, but the longer it sits there, the more damage it does.”

  And those were maybe the truest words ever spoken. Lila wondered if he had picked up on something from her, if he knew she was holding on to a secret as well. But while she didn’t know Charlie’s story, she knew her own, and it wasn’t just that she didn’t want to talk about it. She couldn’t talk about it. Each time she tried to get it out the result was a massive panic attack, the anxiety taking over her life for days or weeks afterward. It was so hard to come back from that darkness that she found it better to not go there in the first place. Why take the risk? What good would it do?

  “I don’t want to force you, but if you’re open to talking about it, maybe just tell me how you met. Start slow.”

  Charlie took the next right turn and relaxed into his seat more. Silence replaced their easy conversation, and then Lila thought he might remain that way for the rest of the trip, when he said, “Have you ever fallen for the wrong person?”

  He glanced slowly to her, and she swallowed hard, unable to say anything. Because Lila felt she’d only in her life ever fallen for one person in any real, tangible way. The gut-wrenching, can’t sleep, desperate for even a moment of their time kind of way. And he was sitting beside her. To answer his question, maybe Charlie was the wrong person. In a lot of ways, people would classify him as horribly wrong. But to Lila he was everything, then and now.

  “Sure, we all have, right?” she finally said, not willing to dive into her true feelings. Not yet, maybe not ever.

  He blew out a breath. “Well, that was me. I had just returned from a checkout dive, and she was standing on my dock, looking like she belonged right there, in my world. Thinking back, I should have known better. No one normal knew your name before you introduced yourself. But she did. I assumed someone in town had mentioned me as the go-to for dive lessons. I guess I’ll never know how she got it. Anyway, she was a master at manipulation, and soon she was spending more time on my boat than not. I was prepared to propose, bought the ring and all, when I woke up and she was gone . . . with everything I owned.”

  Lila gasped, her hands going to her mouth. “No.”

  “Yeah. If I weren’t on the boat, she’d have taken that, too.”

  “What a bitch.”

  Charlie laughed and peeked over at her again. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever heard you use such language, Tiny Girl. Think I’m a bad influence on you.”

  “No, I just don’t take too well to people messing with those I care about.”

  She knew he was staring at her even before she looked over.

  “And I’m on that list?” The way he asked it, the uncertainty there, made her wonder how much damage Jade did before saying good-bye. Surely this wasn’t all about Lucas.

  “You’ve always been on my list.”

  “You realize your brother would have words to say about that, right?”

  “I’m a big girl now, and besides, my brother isn’t here.”

  “No . . . he’s not.” He pulled down a narrow dirt road and parked the truck, a thousand unspoken words lingering in the air, but Lila couldn’t decipher what any of them meant. Was he saying he agreed with his brother or that he didn’t? She knew she couldn’t be the only one feeling this chemistry between them.

  “I’m going to go grab the tent and set up. You can wait here if you’d like.”

  “Nope, I’m an active protector here. I’ll help.”

  He smiled. “All right, Ms. Protector. Let’s see you put those muscles to work.”

  They stepped out of the truck, and instantly, Lila drew a deep breath, allowing it to seep through her. It felt like forever since she was in the mountains, breathing in the pure, mountain air. The green trees, occasional wild flowers, birds calling out their sweet melody. Everything about being there oozed relaxation and peace.

  Charlie had parked them at a small campsite beside a stream, but though there were spaces for a half-dozen tents or campers, and there were grills and picnic tables set up at each spot, no one else was there. Only them.

  “I see you scared off all the other campers,” she called as she motioned around the empty campsite.

  “It’s tucked so far off the main road, no one knows it’s here. Of all the times I’ve camped here, I’ve only ever ran into someone one time, but they were gone in a day and I was staying a week, so . . .”

  “A week, wow. And you don’t get sick of it?”

  Charlie grabbed the tent from the back of the truck and paused out in the open, trees all around them, the easy sounds of the stream playing out in the distance. “I could stay here forever. It’s like I can finally think, the muddled chaos in my head clearing at last. I’m sure that makes no sense.”

  �
�Perfect sense, actually.” Lila wasn’t sure if she could stay there forever, but she could definitely get used to a few days there a month, breathing in that clean air and forgetting there was another world out there where life kept you from remembering that living involved more than work and responsibility. Life was meant to be enjoyed, not endured.

  “So who watches Henry when you’re up here?”

  He shrugged. “Depends. Sometimes I bring him. Other times I pay Carrie-Anne to watch him. He’s with her and Zac right now.”

  “I bet she loves that.”

  “She does,” he said, grinning. “Though I’m not sure if she loves Henry so much as the fifty dollars I hand her when I pick him up.”

  A comfortable silence fell over them as they went to work setting up the tent, creating a system, and before long, they had it up and stood back to stare at their handiwork.

  “So, um, what do we do if it rains?” Lila pointed to the hole in the roof, which Charlie had repaired with some combination of a trash bag and masking tape.

  “No faith in me, huh? You’re looking at a professional boy scout.”

  “You were a Boy Scout? I don’t remember that.”

  Charlie diverted his eyes. “Well, no. Not technically a Boy Scout. But we created our own club and learned on our own. Real boy scouts.”

  “Meaning, you burned something and had to figure out how to put out the fire, and then you thought it was so cool, so you had to figure out how to repeat the process?”

  A grin took over his face, and Lila couldn’t help thinking that no smile had ever looked better on a man. “Damn, I need to remember how well you know me. It’s like hanging out with a history book of my life.”

  She laughed. “Hey, I don’t remember everything. No one remembers everything.” Only that wasn’t true. Lila’s brain filed away each memory like it was vital information, necessary for life.

  His grin widened. “Sure you do. You’re one of those people who can’t forget a thing even if you tried, but I like it.” Lila stared at him. Maybe he knew her every bit as well as she knew him. Charlie cleared his throat, breaking the connection. “Want to help me grab the rest of the stuff?”

  “It’s as though you’ve never been around a woman who was willing to help, but I know that can’t be right. I know your mama, remember?”

  He cocked an eyebrow. “Yeah, but do you remember Kate? Ms. I-Have-Three-Brothers-Let-One-of-Them-Do-It?”

  “I’m going to tell her you said that.”

  Fear crossed his face, and Lila burst out laughing. “Healthy fear of your sister, I see. Who would have guessed? You realize Kate’s like five three, right? You outgrew her a long time ago.”

  “The tiniest ones are the most dangerous. Just look at you. Five-foot-nothing and scary as hell.”

  “Hey!” She started to push him, when he blocked her and flipped her around, her back to his chest, his arms around her, holding her close. It was all intended to be playful, but suddenly, Lila’s body warmed, her chest buzzed.

  “See,” Charlie whispered, “tiny thing and yet here I am, breathless.”

  He released her and went to the truck, leaving Lila staring after him. She hated when he said things like that, confusing her, but then maybe he was confused, too.

  Once they had carried the cooler, food, and sleeping bags back to the tent, they climbed inside and set everything up. For a six-person tent, it was surprisingly small. Lila laid out her sleeping bag, and realized that no matter which way she adjusted it, she would be sleeping directly beside Charlie, face-to-face with all those feelings she had for him. A tingly feeling moved down her spine, and then she remembered the condom debacle from earlier and immediately jerked upright, only to slam into Charlie.

  “Whoa there, cowgirl,” he said, steadying her, his hands on her arms. “It’s best not to make abrupt moves. I’m afraid this old tent isn’t a spring chicken. I can’t guarantee if you hit it too hard that it won’t collapse, and then we’ll be sleeping in the truck.”

  “Maybe you’ll be sleeping in the truck,” Lila said with an easy smile. “I’ll be sleeping out under the stars.”

  Chapter Twelve

  Damn, and just like that, Charlie forgot what he was doing, lost in Lila’s magnetic pull. Every time she said something like that, he found himself staring, searching her face for some hint that she was joking or saying something she thought he wanted her to say. But instead, she’d hold his gaze, her eyes sparkling, her smile so breathtaking, and he was stuck, staring and caught, and yet he couldn’t look away any more than he could make himself stop having these thoughts about her.

  “You’re staring at me.”

  “You noticed.”

  “Hard not to, seeing as I’m looking at you while you’re doing it.” She laughed, but there was nothing funny about it. No, this was scary shit, the kind that could end a twenty-year-long friendship. Which he couldn’t let happen. And yet . . .

  He reached into the cooler for a water, just to have something to damn do, but he couldn’t help but look back at her again.

  Like the other night, she had her hair in a mess on top of her head, and though he’d always been a long-hair guy, he found the look unbelievably sexy on her. She wore a tank top and Columbia hiking shorts, a popular pair they sold at Southern Dive because lots of women around town wore them during the summer, when people wore as little as possible. And never once had he given those shorts a second look on anyone else. But on Lila, with her long, tanned legs ending in hiking boots, he thought she might be the most adorable person in the world, let alone Crestler’s Key.

  Which all led to one hard truth: He needed to talk to Lucas. And he would . . . as soon as they got back into town. For now, he was here to give her a distraction, and he intended to do just that.

  “You ready?” he asked, clearing his throat and his mind in the process.

  She clapped. “You’re the boss. Lead me. I’m up for whatever.”

  “All right. I thought we’d hit the trail first. The waterfalls are beautiful this time of year, and that trail to the left up there,” he said, pointing ahead, “goes past two. Three, if we go off course. But that’d take a little more time and a lot more faith.” He winked. “So grab your pack and bring your super powers, Ms. Protector; we’re hiking.”

  Charlie tried to keep quiet as they went up the trail and instead allow nature to tell its own story. Everything was in bloom, and with the stream out there and the waterfalls in the distance, the mountains became magical. But he was never one to keep his mouth shut for long, so after a while, he started pointing out landmarks, explaining this plant or that, then dove into stories of family trips the Littletons had taken over the years, too many to recount.

  “Did any of you ever get lost? I can’t imagine all three of you hanging around your parents the whole time,” she asked.

  “Actually, yeah, Brady. He’ll deny it if you ask him, but this one time little brother decided to get cocky.”

  “Of course he did.”

  Charlie laughed. “Damn fool told us he knew a faster route back to the campsite and was so arrogant about it, we told him to go, then. Beat us back, and we’d give him ten bucks. An hour later and he still hadn’t arrived. Angry, Dad promised Zac and me the spanking of our lives if we didn’t find him immediately. So we all set out, and for a while, we were real scared. Night was starting to set in, and he was barely twelve. Mom was beside herself. But then Brady turned on his flashlight and started calling out to us. Zac heard him first, and we took off. It was probably the only time we’d willingly hugged each other as boys, but damn, I was glad to see him.”

  “I bet. He was always your favorite.”

  “What?” Charlie jerked around to look at her. They’d reached a narrow part of the trail, so he’d taken the lead. “Zac’s my favorite.”

  “No he isn’t. He’s the one you pretend is your favorite, because he should be your favorite. But really it’s Brady. He thinks the most like you. You know . . .”—she
shrugged—“when he chooses to think.”

  Charlie turned back and took two steps before stopping again. “Nah, it’s totally Zac, maybe even Kate, but not Brady.”

  She grinned. “Whatever you say.” But he could tell by her all-knowing expression that she didn’t believe him.

  “I’m going to tell Zac you said that.”

  “Why? He’ll just agree with me.”

  “No he won’t. He’ll be pissed that you didn’t say it was him.”

  “No, he won’t,” Lila insisted. “He’ll say he knows, and then he’ll go on his way. How does everybody else know that Brady’s your favorite sibling but you?”

  He shook his head and faced forward again, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. Brady was the fun one, sure, the one willing to do anything. But underneath all that, he was also the one who had supported Charlie’s T-shirt idea from the beginning. He joked about it, but Charlie knew that was just his way of keeping it current in Charlie’s mind, to keep the conversation going. And even beyond the supporting-him bit, he was never judgmental, never questioning. When push came to shove, he supported Charlie no questions asked.

  “Holy shit. He is my favorite.”

  A laugh broke from behind him. “I told you.”

  “What else do you know about me that I don’t know?”

  “Come now, you don’t expect me to hand over all my secrets on our first date.”

  He pivoted around again, a grin playing at his lips. “Date, huh?”

  “A friend date.”

  “That’s a thing?”

  “It is now.”

  Charlie wasn’t sure why, but he liked the sound of that. Adding friend made it feel as though he were doing nothing wrong . . . even if inside his thoughts were anything but platonic.

  For the next hour they continued around the trail, stopping to look out over the world below every so often, as much to show themselves how far they’d climbed as anything else. There was a peacefulness to being around Lila that Charlie found addictive. They didn’t have to talk or try too hard, put on that fake smile and pretend. It was easy, and that easiness was what had his stomach turning—in good ways and bad.