The Theory of Unrequited

by Len Webster

  The same house his mother and father hadn’t been present in for months.

  The same house that was a fake representation of the Gilmore family.

  Evan heard the front door slam shut, and he sat on his bed. The only thing his brother had ever been passionate about other than baseball was protecting AJ.

  For a long time, Evan hadn’t minded.

  Until he realized his brother was falling in love with her.

  Alexi.

  Not AJ.

  Because who AJ was around Kyle wasn’t the real her.

  She pretended so she wouldn’t disappoint him.

  She let people take pictures of her with him because it appeased him.

  She always felt as if she owed Kyle much more of her time than she should.

  Unlike Kyle, Evan knew AJ like the back of his hand and would protect her from his brother.

  A beeping sound had him turning his head to spot his phone flashing. Evan leaned over and grasped it from the nightstand. He unlocked it and opened AJ’s message.

  AJ: So Kyle just blew me off.

  Evan took a deep breath and exhaled his rage. He didn’t want his brother to take it out on AJ. She was always the innocent bystander, and he hated putting her in the middle of his feuds with his brother.

  Evan: Trust me, AJ. You’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t let him affect you. I said some things, and he said some things, too. He didn’t mean it. Also, what are you doing up so early? It’s Sunday.

  AJ: Early? Evan, it’s almost lunchtime. Have you really just woken up? You’re so lazy. I had to drive into the city. Dad forgot a few folders, so I had to take them to him.

  Evan: You wanna go for lunch?

  AJ: Just come over. I’ll cook you something, lazy!

  He smiled at her text.

  AJ: And for God’s sake, Evan, use the front door!

  That had Evan chuckling.

  She knew him all too well.

  11 Na

  sodium

  EVAN

  Now

  Voicemail five: AJ, I’m back in my hotel room. If something happened to you, please just tell me. I know my last voicemail was horrible. I played back every single word I said over and over again while I was in the back of the cab. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I sound so angry. I know you wouldn’t purposely stand me up. We’ve gone through too much. Call me when you get this. I know it’s late back home. I’ll stay up.

  Voicemail six: I woke up to nothing from you, AJ.

  Voicemail seven: AJ, all you had to do was tell me you wanted more time in Massachusetts and not spend the week before move-in day with me in LA. That’s it. I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I’m worried. Did Kyle do something to you? AJ, just call me. I’ll take the next flight out and spend the rest of summer with you before we start classes at Stanford. Just call me back.

  “She still not answering your calls?” Hunter asked as he sat in his seat with a napkin in his hand. It was late in the afternoon, the day after AJ had stood him up at the ice cream shop, and Evan and Hunter were sitting at a burger place near Santa Monica Pier. All day, Evan had waited for AJ, but she hadn’t answered any of his calls or texts.

  She had him waiting hours for a flight he assumed she never boarded.

  AJ was still in Brookline.

  AJ was still on the other side of the country.

  Miles and miles away from being with him like she had promised.

  “No,” Evan said as he slipped his phone into his pocket. Then he eyed the napkin in Hunter’s hand. “You get their numbers?”

  Hunter smirked and shoved the tissue in his pocket. “Just one of them. The other one has a boyfriend somewhere in the Midwest—I wasn’t paying attention. The other one is going to UCLA.”

  “You might see her on campus.”

  “Maybe. Hopefully not. I’m in college. No way am I finding a girl to be my college sweetheart. Only had one girl in mind when it came to settling down, and you made it clear I had to stop dreaming.”

  Evan winced.

  The mention of his teammate and close friend’s attraction to his best friend still made him uncomfortable. He trusted Hunter with everything and everyone but AJ.

  “Oh, come on, Evan,” Hunter said, exasperated.

  “What?”

  “That. The wincing and the disgust on your face when I even hint about Alex.”

  He shook his head. “I’m not doing anything. You weren’t into my best friend.”

  Hunter sighed. “Evan, half of Massachusetts is in love with her. How are you that blind?”

  Evan clenched his jaw and took a deep breath through his nostrils. “When you say half …?”

  Hunter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I’m one of the statistics. You really think I was immune to her? Those goddamn green eyes and—”

  “That’s enough. Don’t speak about AJ like—”

  “Like what? Like she’s beautiful? That I respected our friendship enough to let someone like her go? But no one is good enough for her. Not by your standards. She’s too smart. Too beautiful. And she loves baseball. She was perfect.”

  “She still is!” Evan roared before his voice lowered. “She still is.”

  Hunter gave him a tight smile. “I always give you shit about realizing too late. So I’m gonna say one thing to you, Ev. My departing words before I go to UCLA and you go to Stanford. You might be unaware of your feelings toward her, but I know it. Hell, I see it. But some other guy is gonna see her, too, and before you know it, she’s going to be sending you an invitation to her wedding. Don’t lose her because you let your selfish pride get in the way. She’ll always be your best friend, but you and I both know that Alex deserves a whole lot more than what you gave her during senior year.”

  Before Evan could even ask him to explain, Hunter got out of his seat and made his way to the counter to grab their order. Sighing, Evan pulled his phone from his jeans pocket and took in the screen lock display.

  It was a picture of him and AJ.

  Before everything went wrong.

  Before she stopped answering his calls.

  Before she left him in LA.

  Evan unlocked his phone and called her number. He listened to it ring in his ear until her voicemail greeted him.

  This voice message had to be different.

  “Alexandra, please, we need to talk. I’ve done something terrible. I must have. If this is because you still haven’t really forgiven me for prom, please tell me. Please tell me how I can fix this. I told you I missed you. I do. I miss you. If you’re upset that I went to Vegas without you, tell me. Because this entire week without you has made me miss you. I’m sorry, AJ. Please, just call me. I can come home, and we’ll talk this through. I can’t step foot on campus for the first time without you. I need my best friend, AJ. I need you. Please, just call me.”

  Then he hung up and hoped to God she didn’t ignore his voicemails, too.

  Three days later, Evan stood outside UCLA with Hunter by his side. Hunter’s family had driven across the country with his belongings to help him move in. For three days, Evan and his former teammate had spent their time roaming Los Angeles and Santa Monica. Most times, Hunter flirted with girls while Evan brushed them off and told them he wasn’t interested.

  Evan spent his days calling AJ.

  Missing AJ.

  He’d even called her parents, but Mr. and Mrs. Parker hadn’t answered. The one time Mr. Parker had answered, he told Evan that he had an important meeting with a client and promised to call him back. That had been two days ago. Mr. Parker hadn’t called him back.

  No answer.

  No update on any of her social media accounts.

  It was as if she disappeared.

  Today, he had to pick up the car his father had bought for him and drive to Stanford. When Evan ca
lled his father to tell him that he was going to Stanford, that was the first time his father had ever sounded proud of him. He apologized for missing his high school graduation and told him that a car would be ready for him to pick up so he could drive to college.

  And that was it.

  Evan hadn’t bothered to call his mother.

  She was too busy with her career to care.

  AJ’s mother had helped raise him when his mother didn’t have a nanny on hand. He was sure someone would tell her, and she’d pretend as if it weren’t news to her and say that she was proud of her Stanford bound son.

  The son who had been a mistake and hindered her career while she was pregnant.

  The son she had abandoned long ago.

  Not that he minded.

  He had his own family in AJ Parker.

  He had everything he wanted and needed in their relationship, and if she were to abandon him, too, Evan wasn’t sure how he’d cope.

  “You sure you don’t want me to help you move in?” Evan asked, taking in all the students at UCLA.

  “Nah, I don’t need my high school baseball captain to hold my hand as I move into my freshman dorm. I’m all right. That’s why I had my parents drive across the country with all my shit. You need us to take you to the car dealership to pick up your new ride?”

  Evan shook his head. “It’s all good. I’ll take a cab.” Then he turned and held his hand out to his former teammate. “I’ll see you in the ballpark.”

  Hunter chuckled and shook Evan’s hand. “Never thought I’d see you playing for the Cardinals. Don’t expect me to go easy on you. I’m a Bruin now. I look forward to kicking your ass out there, Gilmore.”

  “I wouldn’t expect anything less from you,” Evan said once their handshake ended.

  “You tell Alex I said hi, okay? I know you’ll look out for her. And for God’s sake, just fix whatever you’ve done. I don’t think I could live in a world where there isn’t an Alex and Evan relationship in it.”

  “Yeah,” Evan agreed in a small voice. “I don’t think I could either.”

  “Hey, thanks for coming to Vegas to celebrate with the team. I know it wasn’t easy to leave Alex behind. But thanks. You were a great captain, Evan. The Cardinals are lucky to have you.”

  Evan smiled. “UCLA has no idea what’s about to hit them with you enrolled here. I’ll get out of your way and let you move in.”

  “Thanks, Ev. You know we’re only separated by three hundred and fifty-two miles? You ever get tired of Stanford and wanna hit up LA, let me know. You always have a place to crash,” Hunter offered.

  He nodded. “Offer works both ways.”

  Hunter chuckled. “With Alex at Stanford, I can’t, man. You know that. She’s kryptonite. Though, I do expect to see her when we play against each other.”

  “She hasn’t missed a game,” Evan said, finding comfort in how true that fact was.

  AJ had never missed any of his games.

  No matter how angry or hurt she was with him.

  AJ Parker had never missed a single one of Evan Gilmore’s baseball games.

  Voicemail twelve: AJ, this silence of yours is killing me. Please. Please, tell me where you are. I know you must be in California now. Move-in day is only a few days away. There’s no way your parents would miss move-in day. Speaking of your parents, are they okay? Normally, they get back to me when I call them. Your dad’s current client must be important. Look, AJ, I keep replaying the last things you said to me during that phone call after my helicopter ride. Something’s off. Are you okay? You know you don’t have to hide anything from me. I’m your best friend. Just like you’re mine. Call me. Please just call me …

  Voicemail thirteen: I miss you, Alexandra. I really fucking miss you.

  Evan sighed as he sat in the Audi his father had purchased for him. He picked it up from the dealership a few days ago, and then Evan had spent most of those two days alone in his hotel room. Hunter had updated him with text messages about how much he loved UCLA. It had been two days of parties and meeting girls. Reading Hunter’s messages kept Evan’s mind off AJ.

  She still hadn’t returned any of his calls or text messages. He was sure she had listened to his voicemails. She must have if he was still able to leave his desperation for her recorded. Voicemail ten and eleven begged her to call him back at two in the morning. They weren’t his most dignified moments, especially when he woke up the next morning with a killer headache thanks to the mini bottles of alcohol he’d consumed.

  It was now five a.m., and Evan had checked out of his hotel room and had the bellman shove his suitcase into the trunk of his Audi coupé. It would take him almost six hours to drive to Stanford.

  Six hours and three hundred and fifty-two miles until he could confront his best friend and ask her why she tortured him with her silence for the past week.

  Six hours and three hundred and fifty-two miles until he could hold AJ and promise her that he would never hurt her the way he had at prom.

  Six hours and three hundred and fifty-two miles until Evan was whole again.

  But before he could see her again, he had to speak to the one person who might possibly know what was going through AJ’s head.

  Evan pulled over on the side of the road, close to the turnoff onto the 405. He turned off his Audi and picked up his phone from the passenger seat. He knew it was just after eight a.m. back in Massachusetts, but he didn’t care. There was one person she’d go to if it wasn’t Evan.

  It was his brother.

  Unlocking his phone, he found his brother’s number and dialed it. He took a deep breath as it rang. On the fifth ring, Kyle finally answered with a groan.

  “Evan, it’s eight in the morning,” his brother pointed out as if it he didn’t know.

  “I don’t care what time it is in Boston.”

  His brother moaned as if he were in pain. “Evan, I’m trying to win the World Series. I don’t need you calling me early in the morning and ruining my sleep.”

  “I don’t care. Tell me where she is right now, Kyle. Tell me where AJ is.”

  His brother was silent.

  His uneven breathing was all Evan could hear on his end.

  “I can’t do that.”

  “What the fuck?” Evan yelled. “She’s my best friend, Kyle. What did you do to her?”

  “Me? Evan, this time it was all you. You have no one else to blame but yourself. I’ll never tell you where Alexi is.”

  Rage boiled in his veins as heat consumed his entire body. He wanted to punch something to release the toxicity in him. Instead, he tightened his grip on his phone.

  “What have you done, Kyle?” he asked through gritted teeth.

  “I told you, Evan. I had nothing to do with—”

  “You’re a goddamn liar!” he accused.

  “At least, I didn’t do what you did at prom. You think she would really be over that? If so, you’re heartless. You have no respect for Alexi. You don’t care about her feelings so long as your needs are always above hers. Stanford, Evan? You really think Stanford is the best school for her? It’s because of you that she missed the cutoff date to apply to MIT. If you were really her best friend, you would have encouraged her to apply. Stanford doesn’t have what she needs. It has what you need. And that’s distance from me and Massachusetts. You just strung Alexi along.”

  MIT.

  Memories hit him.

  Guilt threatened to suffocate him.

  She’d mentioned MIT more than once, and he’d changed the subject.

  “Stop it!”

  “You don’t like the truth, Evan?” Kyle baited him. “Alexi isn’t some stupid girl. She’s brilliant. You know that. You’ve seen it. All those scholarships from Ivy League schools. I’m not telling you where she’s been the past week because she needed that space away from you. You
’ve been selfish, Evan. You thought I was bad for her, but you were worse. At least I knew that MIT was her dream. At least I never broke all the promises I made her.”

  “Stop it, Kyle! You did this. Not me!”

  “You really didn’t deserve her as your best friend, Evan. You don’t deserve her. You really don’t. You’re so unaware and selfish. Have fun in college. I hope it makes you half the man Alexi had so much belief in. Unless you need money, don’t call me again.”

  “I will never forgive you for this,” Evan promised.

  “I wouldn’t want you to,” Kyle replied. “Enjoy Stanford, Evan. Realization will hit you someday.” And with those final, vague words, Kyle hung up.

  Evan threw his phone back on the passenger seat and rubbed his palms over his face, again and again, not able to release the tension in his body.

  Anger ruled him.

  His heart felt as if it were in brittle fragments.

  His head pounded with memories of AJ.

  Of homecoming.

  Of prom.

  Of the night he felt her cry in his arms like everything in her life had ended.

  It was the night he should have known they couldn’t be saved.

  It was the night he should have held her and pled for her forgiveness.

  Music blasted as Evan got out of his Audi. His drive was long and lonely. The same drive he was supposed to take with AJ. He hadn’t spotted her in the crowd just yet. He knew he’d find her soon enough. The plan was a road trip with his best friend, but his so-called best friend tortured him with her silence and selfishness.