Our Muted Recklessness (Muted Hopelessness Book 2)

by Love Belvin

  I thought about it. Where did the request come from?

  “Why are you asking me at the last minute? The ticket is going to be hella expensive.”

  “I’ve never asked you to worry about money when you’re doing something with me or, in this case, doing me a favor. Just say yes.”

  “Ms. Wanda won’t want me in her place, especially while she’s gone.”

  He kissed just beneath my ear before whispering, “I’m not going to Ms. Wanda’s apartment. I’m spending Christmas at my house.” His thumb moved to my clit, circling it. My belly began to heat up again. “With you.”

  I rolled my hips again, this time without his help. Then I kissed Ashton’s soft lips, my fingers tangled in his beard. “Did you come?”

  “I’m about to,” he whispered.

  “Let me think about it while you do.”

  He groaned, taking my mouth hard and fast.

  When I stepped off the elevator of my dormitory, I was shocked to see someone sitting near my door. Mostly everyone left for winter break yesterday. Never mind that. Who was at my door? As I drew closer, I made out his height and was able to recognize who it was.

  “Hey.” He stood to his feet nervously. “I—I was hoping I didn’t miss you.”

  “Miss me?”

  Paulie rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah. I’m about to leave for break. Just finished my last gig last night; a staff holiday party. I came to see if you needed a lift anywhere.”

  My eyes grew big as hell. “A lift?”

  He scoffed nervously, and a shy smile opened on his face. “Yeah. Just in case you were leaving today.”

  “How did you know I was still on campus?”

  “Security downstairs.”

  I nodded, not knowing what to say.

  “So?” He rubbed the back of his head again. “You need a ride?”

  My head swung with no words prepared to speak. This was awkward.

  “Ummm…”

  “I must’ve beat you to it, James.” Large hands slammed on Paulie’s shoulders. He was a few inches taller than Ashton, but Paulie shrunk in his presence. “How did Tiffany do this semester grades-wise? I know it’s been stressful for you guys with you doing so many shows and all this year.”

  Paulie’s eyes jumped from Ashton’s cocky smirk to me. “Uhhh…” He hesitated, turning red as his hand combed through his curly fade. “I guess she’s good.”

  “Oh, cool!” Ashton continued toward my door. “The car’s running.” He gestured to my door. “Is it open?”

  Oh…

  I jumped to pull out my keys, and opened the door. Ashton went inside without another word. When I turned back to Paulie, I could tell he was mad uncomfortable.

  I pointed behind my back. “Spence had already offered me a ride today…”

  “No. It’s totally cool.” He began to walk backward. “Happy holidays. I’ll see you next year.”

  I nodded, but not quick enough. Paulie turned around and headed for the stairwell. Letting out a breath, I turned for my dorm where Ashton was leaning into my bed, his long legs spaced apart and arms were crossed.

  “Thanks a lot.”

  “My pleasure.”

  “He’s cool, you know.” Then I thought again. “Corny, but in a sweet way.”

  “Did his sweetness tell you he has a girlfriend when he asked you out on that fake ass date in the cafe?”

  My head whipped to face him. How did he know?

  “That’s not the point.”

  “Nah, Nabby-girl,” he sighed. “The point is I’ve gotta keep an eye out for Pink Peen Paulie.”

  “What’s that?”

  Ashton shrugged, bored. “It’s what they say he looks like.” My eyes closed as I shook my head. College humans were so fucking mean. “Let’s get your shit packed so we can go for that run up the mountain. Countdown until our redeye.”

  I couldn’t believe I agreed to spend Christmas break with Ashton Spencer.

  “Yes, I understand, Mrs. Cooper,” He murmured into the phone. “I’m hoping you can understand it’s been difficult on me as well.”

  Under the dark sky, in the backseat of a limo, I sat next to Ashton. We were on our way to the airport. Apparently, Ashton liked night flights. His arm was over my shoulder, and so sleepy, I was relaxing against him, enjoying the smooth ride until his phone rang. It didn’t take me long to make out the caller. Aivery’s mother wasn’t very happy.

  “I’m sure it has been, but for young women, it’s a bit more challenging,” Mrs. Cooper argued. “I was hoping you could fly in next week. I know Ms. Lee is on her annual cruise, so you won’t be interrupting your time with her. Would you be able to do that for me?”

  I heard the grunt he suppressed.

  “Mrs. Cooper, it’s not a simple request. I’ve made plans for the time I’m home.”

  “I spoke with your grandmother, too. Mrs. Spencer says there are no special plans the family has going on this year.”

  “She’s correct, but that still doesn’t mean I’m able to catch a flight out there. I have things to do before returning to Blakewood for training.”

  “She told me about that, too, Ashton. My little girl was distraught when we picked her up from the airport. She’s so upset about you guys’ future. Please don’t allow this to happen during the holidays.” She sounded desperate, emotional. White. “I must insist.”

  It now felt like eavesdropping. So, I slid over to the door and pretended to stargaze. I hated I could still hear every word, though.

  “Again, Mrs. Cooper. I cannot.” His tone was firmer than it had been throughout this conversation. This was grown man Ashton here. “I would agree that Aivery and I have lots to discuss if we’re going to remain friends, but forcing a visit over the holidays when it’s virtually impossible for me isn’t the solution.”

  There was a break for silence between the two as I saw big planes parked behind fences. I couldn’t believe how emotional this woman was being. I could never imagine my mother calling up a boyfriend to defend me if I was into…boyfriends. Shit. I couldn’t even see my mother defending me if he did me dirty. She didn’t protect me when her boyfriend was called out for molesting me.

  “You just don’t know what it was like seeing her walk out of the airport.” Her voice cracked. The woman is crying! “Benjamin said she sulked the whole flight, Ashton. The whole flight! My god, I’m so happy she’s home with me so I can take care of her the way she needs it. The next best thing is for you to be here, too, so you two can talk and work things out.”

  The lady boo-hoo’d into the phone. This was crazy weird for me, eyes blowing up as I continued to face the window. We’d driven through a parking lot, passing the actual airport building. I had no idea where we were going, but the mention of that one name had my whole damn body tensing.

  The Benjamin?

  “With all due respect, Mrs. Cooper, I’m at the airport and need to board. I will not be visiting Texas this break. I’m sure I will see Aivery again in due time.”

  The car pulled onto a lot near a plane. Two planes. My face tightened, and I was stuck between our location and their conversation.

  There was another pause before she sniffled. “Well, thanks for your honesty, Ashton Spencer. Happy holidays.” The woman was still emotional.

  The limo came to a stop and the trunk sounded behind me, unlocking to open. Steve, the driver, stepped out and made his way to Ashton’s side first.

  “Happy holidays, Mrs. Cooper.” Ashton was ending the call.

  At this point, I couldn’t focus on her follow-up. I didn’t know what to do, so tempted to open my own door. My gut told me to stay put. My current mood was super annoyed times ten, making me want to be independent of…everybody. I felt myself shutting down, and now was not the best time. It was bad enough I had no idea why we were here, but not having control sucked ass. I peeped a tall, white woman in a skirt suit, heels, and pink lipstick approaching the car. I could hear voices speaking behind the car, hers c
learly.

  Before I knew it, my door was being opened. I grabbed my bag and moved to leave. Steve gave a neck bow as I stood to my feet. “Enjoy your flight and time in New Jersey, Ms. Tori.”

  I fought to give a simple smile as a response. I hated feeling the bitch raging in me all of a sudden.

  “Hi, Tori!” the woman in the suit greeted with big eyes. “We’ve been looking forward to your flight. Let’s get you aboard and comfortable. Jersey awaits you!”

  She motioned toward the damn plane, and even though her knowing my name shocked me, I didn’t allow it to show. Without a reaction, I followed her. On the way, I could hear Ashton take another call behind me. I mentally shut him off. Too much was happening now, the last thing I needed was to be stressed over the seesaw drama of him and Aivery. Fuck that he smelled dangerously good. Ashton was still...Ashton.

  I followed her clacking heels up the steps, peeping the lights on each one. Inside was narrow, well lit, and long. The top of the plane was white, as I’d seen on others. The carpet was a mild gray with slightly lighter chairs. The fake wood paneling gave it a warm feel. But…

  This ain’t a regular plane…

  I smelled food. Like…pot-cooked food. There were no rows of matching seats. In fact, there was a bench, four regular plane chairs, then a plastic, artificial wood panel half-wall closing off the seating area. Was this private?

  “Hungry?” Ashton was behind me, in my ear.

  His deep voice scared the shit out of me, making my body leap in the air. I turned to him, filled with questions. I knew he was a rich brat, but…

  “What the hell is all of this?”

  Ashton’s eyes rose above me to quickly observe the plane. He lifted the brim of his hat to air out his head. When his attention returned to me, it turned lazy.

  “Me being the fuckin’ Prince of Zamunda.” He winked.

  I wanted to jab his ass, he was so sexy.

  Chapter Eighteen

  -THEN-

  We had eaten a full meal of chicken, mashed potatoes with gravy, and string beans and my belly was full. The “itis” was creeping up on me, and it was fair. It had been a long day of working out, packing, and running with Ashton. We’d been together since last night, only separating to shit or piss. If this was what having a boyfriend was like, I had to be sure to choose the right one.

  I flipped through an Ebony magazine. Black faces inside and outside had never been more vivid for me. Until this fall, I didn’t appreciate our accomplishments or highlights. From art to sports, music to journalism, I was now aware. Even while on a freaking private plane, I was sure due to a Black man making burgers and other fast foods. Inside was a story on Laila Ali.

  One day, I’mma be on a cover of a magazine like this. Watch—

  An abrupt, loud smack into the floor had my head shooting to the side. It was a plastic gun. When I chanced a glance upward, I was popped in the head with a ball. By the time the second one was on its way, I was able to duck. Thinking quickly, I grabbed the gun thrown near my foot and began to bust off. I didn’t catch Ashton right away. He ducked behind one of the groups of chairs, giving me time to run for cover and get a better angle.

  That cost me a shot in the ass and another on the foot. Once settled, I stayed put until I heard Ashton move. It was awesome. I popped off on his big ass. How could you be over six feet tall and expect to dodge bullets on a plane? He missed a step and fell into the aisle, where I was able to walk up on his lengthy body to unload on him.

  He laughed as I stood over him. “How’re you gonna try me and your pow-pow game is weak?”

  “Better my pow-pow game than my pull out.” His eyes narrowed.

  I aimed the gun between his eyes. “I don’t know what you mean by that, but it sounds slick for a loser. I’m sure your pride is dying as we speak.”

  “Sacrificing my pride to see you finally spirited is worth the pursuit.”

  I moved the tip of the gun closer to his face. “You tryna say you didn’t lose fair and square?”

  “I’ll never lose to you, tomboy.” His smile melted my insides away. “To anything.”

  The flight attendant coming from the back of the plane had me standing at attention and pulling the gun behind my back. She smiled, as she’d been doing since the parking lot.

  But Ashton laughed. At me. He stood, cracking the hell up. I hated the way I melted into him when his long arm wrapped around my shoulder and he stood behind me. He took the gun from me, replacing it with his hard frame.

  “The hell’re you acting scary for?” He kissed my neck, and I melted some more.

  The flight attendant giggled coolly. “Just wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything.”

  “Do you need something, Nabby-girl? Anything to get you out of your middle-weight champion ‘I wanna kick ass’ mood?”

  I rolled my eyes then shook my head. “No.”

  “Okay. I’ll be around if you do.” She took off toward the front of the plane.

  My body was swung around and his hands were palmed on my ass. “An orgasm.” Ashton kissed me. “Let me make you come. It’ll make you feel better.”

  A sharp breath vacuumed into my nostrils. “Ashton!”

  “What?” His nose grazed my neck and ear, and my oasis squeezed in need. “I’m sure you’ve heard of the mile high club.”

  “Doing it on a plane?” I whispered, eyes rolling behind my lids.

  Why was he doing this to me?

  “Nah.” He scraped my earlobe. “Not just fucking, Nabby-girl: coming, and hard.”

  My eyes shot open.

  No!

  There was no way I would do that here.

  “In front of that lady? Hell no!” I whispered again.

  Ashton snorted in my ear as he pulled my hand over to his crotch. He was so thick. So hard. “There’s a bed in the back.” My head lifted to see him. “With a door.”

  “Ashton…”

  “Don’t say no. I’ll make sure you don’t regret it.”

  I watched him at the foot of the bed, checking himself out. Ashton was beautiful and that worried me. Would I ever be able to want another person the way I did him? Every inch of him looked good and turned me on. He’d just taken all his clothes off, which was great because I’d been naked. He brushed both his muscular arms, closely observed his hairy and cut thighs and legs, and stroked his thick dick a couple of times. I had no idea why. Ashton was so damn hard, it scared me. By the way he inspected his own body right in front of me, it was clear he was confident as hell.

  His eyes raised to meet mine. “You’re shivering. Are you cold?”

  I whipped my head side to side. Cold? No. Nervous? Hell yeah!

  Ashton crawled up the bed, his tongue tracing from my toe to my left nipple. I shivered, eyes squeezing close.

  “KaToria.” His voice was deep, commanding.

  “Hmmmm?”

  “Do you mind if I blindfold you?”

  My eyes flashed open wide. “For what?”

  “Because you keep your eyes closed most of the time we’re intimate like this. And I’ve got a feeling if I blindfold you, you won’t feel as self-conscious. And if you don’t feel so self-conscious, your pleasure will be heightened.”

  “But I do feel pleasure.” My teeth chattered. “A lot.”

  “I hope you do, but I want you to feel all there is. Can I show you?”

  Biting my lip, I nodded. I wasn’t hesitant, wasn’t doubtful. Just nervous.

  He reached over to the side of the bed. The room was small, tight in space, but still nice and clean. Ashton straightened over me and held up a black, silk blindfold.

  “Okay?”

  I nodded. He arranged it over my head and pulled it down over my eyes. Out of nowhere, my fists clenched. But when his soft mouth touched mine, I felt the confidence of his leadership. His palms brushed up my arms and out to open my fists. We were clasped, kissing slowly until my entire body heated. Then it turned fast and desperate. His tongue tasted sweet and
lips felt like pillow hugs.

  Greedily, I touched him. Hands going from shoulders to his ass. Ashton’s head ducked, mouth suctioned around my nipple, and his tongue stroked it. I moaned, not used to the blindfold, but familiar with the butterflies and throbbing happening inside. The sound of buzzing happened out of nowhere. Ashton lifted from my body and I felt his hand urging my thighs open. The buzzing hit my clit and I tensed all over.

  It’s a vibrator! Ashton Spencer is using a vibrator on me!

  I didn’t know if it was right or normal, but when I felt his tongue on my clit, my fingers loosened and searched for his thick scalp. Then I felt the vibrator again. It was intense and so, so good! But when he removed it and licked me again, I was ready to explode. Ashton stopped and pushed his tongue inside of me. My spread thighs wobbled over the mattress.

  “Mmmmm…” I hoped he understood that to mean don’t stop.

  But he did stop. His mouth left my oasis and moved up to lick my nipple. My back arched over the bed like a damn porn star. He licked and sucked, and I moaned, trying to keep my mouth closed. But when the vibrator swiped back and forth over my clit, a hard helpless cry pushed from my belly. I came so hard, losing control of my body. I didn’t have time to be embarrassed. I was being attacked by sensations too hard and too fast. Ashton, out of nowhere, kissing me, muted my cries. Like a baby, I was soothed by the contact. My body still twitched, but I was gaining control again. We kissed and kissed until I could no longer taste my juices on his lips and tongue anymore. Then he stopped.

  Ashton moved my arms, then arranged himself over my body. The second his dick brushed over my lips, I knew he’d straddled me. I opened my mouth, hoping he’d get the hint. Smooth, thin skin, covering a throbbing muscle plopped on my lips. I bobbed my head, inviting more of him inside my mouth. The thought of a guy sitting weightless on my chest, feeding me his dick would have grossed me out just months ago. Until Ashton Spencer.

  His long, dragging breaths could be heard over my sucking sounds. It motivated me to work harder, my chin pushing into my breasts. Ashton pulled my hands up to his hard body.