Our Muted Recklessness (Muted Hopelessness Book 2)

by Love Belvin

  “Touch me, KaToria,” his whisper vulnerable and irresistible.

  My hands ran across each hard lump and groove I could reach. That access would have terrified me if I wasn’t so busy on his dick, and horny. Shit. I was horny again. I moaned against Ashton’s groans. Then he was pulling my left hand from his abs. Ashton put the buzzing vibrator in my palm and guided me between my legs as he pumped into my mouth.

  “Make yourself come again,” his cords strained.

  I did like Ashton earlier and brushed the vibrator over myself. It was addictive, the control of pleasure. I got to apply the speed and pressure I needed. I really needed it now. His hips were rolling faster and Ashton was pumping harder into my head. Why did that turn me on so much?

  Then my legs were being lifted in the air. That changed the sensation of the vibrator. Between that, how deep the head of his cock reached down my throat, and Ashton’s soft grunts, I felt my orgasm coming fast. Seconds after tasting creamy spurts on my tongue and at the back of my mouth, I exploded, moaning hard around him. I shook underneath his hard frame as his thrusts into my mouth slowed.

  Coming down from that explosion and…experience with Ashton, I tried gathering my thoughts. Was I okay? Did I make a bad decision? Would this come back to bite me in the ass? I tried to think of every humiliating scenario. The only thought screaming in my head was this boy was turning me out, and I was okay with letting him. This couldn’t be normal.

  It was reckless.

  And I don’t think I cared.

  I pushed open the side door, carrying our luggage inside. With the swinging of my neck, I invited Tori inside my home with a hoodie covering much of her face and her hands buried into the kangaroo pockets. I did catch when she pulled it back just slightly to take in the space. The kitchen was dimly lit but its features, including the generous expanse of the room, were clear. From near the wall, next to the door, I could see Muriel left late-night snacks for me, being the nurturing soul she was.

  “This way.” I tossed my chin ahead to one of the three entrances.

  She obeyed, moving ahead while scouring all she could. Crossing the hall to get to the rear staircase, we met a height-deficient, pug-looking vampire standing in a robe, holding a mug. He startled Tori, who hesitated before taking the first step.

  With a nod, he greeted, “Sir Ashton, guest…”

  Exhaling, I cut around Tori and hit the stairs. “C’mon.”

  I heard her feet pounding the staircase behind me. We trekked up to the third floor. The bedroom doors were open, recess lights low. I traveled into the closet, where I dropped our bags on the island and kicked off my sneakers.

  “Get comfortable,” I called out to Tori, who I knew was standing in the middle of my bedroom, feeling amazed by the size and grandeur of it.

  I figured if I didn’t address the house, she’d move on and just ease into the night. It was after two in the morning, and I knew the girl had to be exhausted. Not slowing, after passing from the closet to the bathroom, I set the water on and to a fair temperature. A grin lit my face when I saw extra bath towels and feminine toiletries inside the shower. Then I began to strip out of my shirt and tank, tossing them on the closet floor. As predicted, Tori was still in the middle of the room, hands still tucked in her pocket. I grabbed her up in a bear hug and carried her inside the closet, where I removed all her clothes and shoes. I joined her in my birthday suit then walked her inside the bathroom to the running shower.

  Unsurprisingly, Tori was tense. Her spine was just as stiff as her chocolate nipples. So after quickly washing myself, I soaped a sponge and rubbed her down. She sucked in a breath at first but didn’t object. After hosing her down with one of the detachable faucets, I fell to my knees, hooked her thick leg over my shoulder, and ate her pussy.

  Tori’s body was stiff again, but after a few seconds of sucking on her clit, she relaxed into it. Not too long after, she was pumping into my face and swallowing back hard moans. She knew I hated that shit. I figured I’d have another talk with her about it. For now, I’d let her blow in my mouth to loosen her into a restful state.

  Her grunts and grip on my head as she came made my fucking dick throb so hard it was uncomfortable. Her clasp slackened when she was done and when I swiped my tongue firmly across her clit, the way she pushed me away told me she’d had enough. One of the hardest tasks in my life was turning away, leaving her to finish washing. I brushed my teeth while waiting for my erection to die.

  What a fucking charge…

  Twenty minutes later, I rolled the blanket and sheet back for Tori to get into bed. She was typing away in her phone as she sat on the mattress, then stretched out. I wondered who she was so heavily engaged with, then I didn’t. Tori was not Aivery. Most importantly, she was not mine. Even if she was mine, Tori wasn’t shady.

  “Can I get you anything to make you comfortable?”

  She murmured, “I’m thirsty. You think there’s juice here?”

  “I’m sure there is.” I opened the cabinet of the bureau for the television, then carried the remote over to her. “What kind?”

  She shrugged in her typical muted Tori manner. “Orange?”

  “It’s a bet.” I loosely pinched her nose. “I’ll be right back.”

  A mere two feet from the doorknob and my phone rang.

  “Spence,” she called for me.

  Turning, I took long lunges to the bathroom, where I’d tossed my sweats. The phone was tucked in one of the pockets.

  NormaJean’s name appeared.

  “Ms. McNeill?” I answered, moving back out of the bathroom for the bedroom doors.

  “Hey, King,” her voice was tiny.

  My body reacted. “Everything okay?”

  She exhaled into the phone. “Yeah. Just bummed out that I won’t be able to see you next week.”

  I sauntered down the hall for the back staircase, feeling my lips curl. “Since when do you get sentimental around the holidays?”

  “I’m not. It’s just that you’re done with your college career now, and I want to be there to celebrate. And you’re saying you won’t be at my birthday party.”

  “I’m not exactly done.”

  “Excuse me?”

  My eyes rolled toward the ceiling as I dropped down the steps. “I have to go back next semester.”

  “Why?”

  “Stupid ass BSU paper I didn’t meet the deadline for.”

  “A paper?” she squalled. “You can’t graduate because of a paper? Pardon me, but that’s bullshit, Ashton.”

  “Tell me about it,” I murmured, faux bemoaning while crossing the quiet, dimmed corridor for the kitchen.

  “Fuck!” she grumbled. “I knew I should’ve been there. I bet Rosemary ripped off her wig.”

  “I’m still counting down the hellish moments of when I’ll hear from her again. I bet she’s only holding off because I’m back at home.”

  “You better believe it. And what about Wanda?”

  “I got cussed the fuck out in four different languages until her phone service died in the middle of the ocean.”

  NormaJean laughed as I poured the juice into a glass. It tickled me, her humor was so damn infectious.

  “Man!” she breathed into the phone. “So, what about training?”

  “We’re looking to move it to BSUland. A.D. Jones says it’s cool. Now, my soon-to-be agent is making the arrangements.”

  “Oh. I’m sure duchess Aivery is happy—or sad about her dreams of phase one of her engagement being thwarted.”

  I was on my way back up the stairs, hoping not to see Jimmy’s mug when I answered, “I’m on her shit list, too, but for the first time, I don’t think she’s obsessing over the engagement.”

  “Bullshit. Only three things that child wants most out of life: Ashton Spencer, a blinged-out ring, and a proposal. Everything else pales in comparison.”

  My brows shrugged. “I don’t think so. At least she’s got my ass convinced it doesn’t. But I know she’s mad
as shit about the paper.”

  “Can’t lie: I am, too. Doesn’t make sense for you.”

  I placed Tori’s juice on the nightstand nearest to her. Her eyes were low as she watched the television. Tori McNabb was in my bed. My real bed. The shit was unreal. I was thankful for her exhaustion. It forced her to relax. All I ever wanted was her to be easy around me. To trust me.

  “Shit happens,” I murmured, not wanting to disturb KaToria.

  I killed the light in the bedroom then meandered over to the sitting area across the room, taking a seat on the sofa. I grabbed a barbeque lighter to spark one of the candles on the coffee table. “And I don’t get the impression you’re going to make a pitstop in Texas before heading back to Blakewood.”

  “Nah.” I sighed, sitting back feeling tired as shit. “I’m gonna lay low at the crib until it’s time to head back.”

  “You and old man Jimmy?” She snickered.

  I chuckled, too, scratching my head. “Yeah. Me, Jimmy, and KaToria.”

  NormaJean didn’t speak right away. “Who?”

  “Tori—”

  “Yeah. I know who KaToria is…at this rate.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “You brought her home for Christmas?”

  My ego expanded in the form of my dick lurching. Hell fucking yeah… I couldn’t see myself not having access to her for weeks. The semester was set to begin at the end of January. Shit. If she wasn’t an athlete, I wouldn’t have seen Tori for nearly a month! Fuck no. She had to put up with my ass all break. She made me a hungry sadist. In that very moment, I felt a peace no negativity could penetrate. Not even any complaints about my incomplete.

  “Yup.”

  “Do you think it’s too much, Ashton?” I heard something in NormaJean’s tone I hadn’t since the world learned of our affair. Panic.

  “What’s too much?”

  “At first, you hated her. Then you fucked the girl…first. You took her virginity. Do you not realize you’re cheating.”

  “On who?”

  “On Aivery.”

  That shit threw me askew. Cheating? “You know the details of that dead situationship.” I was fucking annoyed that I couldn’t speak freely.

  Though my voice was low, I couldn’t risk Tori hearing shit about me cheating on Aivery.

  “It isn’t dead, my love. It’s just going through a rough patch, something all relationships do.”

  My face tightened, but I forced a smile on my face and in my voice. “Who’re you advocating for here, sweetheart?”

  Since last spring, NormaJean had no problems expressing her abhorrence of Aivery. She even advised that I try lightening up on Tori when I initially brought her up over dinner at Mario in September. Now, it sounded like Tori was the invader.

  “I’ve gotta go. Mark Anthony just stepped in.” I heard swishing as though she was moving around. “Can we make plans for me to fly out after the New Year?”

  Instead of answering her question, I countered with, “If I were in the same spirit as you, I’d ask if you were eating his ass yet.”

  “Ashto—”

  “But I wouldn’t because as long as it made you happy, I’d be good with it.”

  She whispered, “Your happiness has meant more than my own since I’ve met you.” Her voice cracked. “You know that.”

  “Just like you know I never judge.” I licked my lips, suddenly angry. “Enjoy your time in Nice, baby girl. Be good to yourself.”

  “Love you, big guy.”

  I disconnected the line. Anger churned my belly at NormaJean’s flipflop. We were usually on the same page about the matter of sex. It was not a consort of commitment, only respect. I’d never fucked anyone since being official with Aivery, something NormaJean never agreed with. So what was the problem with me hanging out with Tori?

  A categorical snore crossed the room, and my eyes landed on the perp. Tori was fucking out like a teenage mother leaving her baby home with her momma.

  Ragee: My nigga! It’s been three days since you been back in Jersey and your dusty ass is just now hitting me up? The fuck you been doing? Fuckin and suckin day and night?

  Laughter ripped through my throat and I tried covering my mouth with a damp hand.

  “The hell is so funny?” Ashton swam toward me.

  We were in his indoor pool. A freaking indoor pool. His father’s house was unbelievable. It was four brick stories with seven bedrooms and ten bathrooms, something I didn’t understand. Why would a house have more bathrooms than bedrooms? The living room, kitchen, dining room, pool, and family room could fit about three of the trailer units from my neighborhood. The third floor was mostly all his bedroom alone. There was a gym, billiard room, and this indoor pool room.

  He had a cook, housekeeper, and some old guy who worked on the property. Ashton said he lived in the in-law suite in the back. I had to ask what the hell an in-law suite was. The whole place was ridiculously massive. I would’ve felt mad uncomfortable had there been more people around. The house was empty all the time. Even with all the staff there—and the guy who we ran into the night we arrived—we mostly only saw his housekeeper, who was super sweet and obviously loved Ashton.

  When I sensed him near me, I answered, “Raj. He’s asking what have we been doing here these past three days.”

  We’d been chilling: eating, sleeping, playing games—just slowing down the world around us. Ashton had a small theater room here. After a big ass breakfast made by the housekeeper, Muriel, we spent much of yesterday watching movies. He had thousands of them. Then we ate again before shooting pool most of the evening. Then…more food. This morning, we spent three hours in the gym. It was small, but had good equipment, something I needed to work off all the food I’d inhaled yesterday.

  “Aren’t you chillin’ with him tomorrow?” Ashton asked, kissing my shoulder.

  He moved toward the wall and let his long legs float in the water.

  “Yup.” It was the day before Christmas Eve, and I needed to get Ashton a gift. I didn’t have much money, but enough to box something and slap a bow on it. And Raj was creative. He could help me find something for Richie Rich here. “Let me make sure we’re still on for eleven. I know he has a gig in the evening.”

  Me: shut your big ass up! you’ll be here at 11 right?

  “My uncle June hit me earlier, saying something similar.” Ashton scoffed.

  “You’re still hanging out with them tomorrow?”

  “Yeah. I just need to get my mind right.” He rubbed his wet face.

  I took a chance, though it was obvious. “Brick?” Ashton nodded. “You usually spend time with all of them when you come home for Christmas?”

  “Yeah. We’re tight, so of course, I see everybody. But Brick is—was—my partner. With him, it was a given that we’d hang out. Sometimes, I only come here to drop my shit off and then go hit the streets with him. I’d basically come back here to wash my ass, change, and go.”

  My Blackberry chirped.

  Ragee: Believe it.

  Me: i’ll be ready

  I tossed the phone on a nearby chair and turned to be shoulder-to-shoulder with Ashton.

  “I’m glad I’m here.” I couldn’t help the softness of my words. Being sincere with this guy did that to me. “Thanks for inviting me.”

  Ashton moved his gaze my way. “Really?” I nodded. “Good. Then that means I’m less of a fucked up human in your eyes.”

  I couldn’t help my smile. “I wouldn’t say all that. You got me swimming naked in this big ass mansion.”

  “This isn’t a mansion.”

  “How you figure?”

  He yanked my dripping ponytail. “Because a house has to be, at least, eight thousand square feet to be considered a mansion. My old man was a conservative spender, so this was the max for him.” His face tightened. “Hey, you sure you don’t want to go check in on your peoples in South Jersey? I wouldn’t be mad. I can even ride you down or you can take my ride.”

 
“Isn’t your car back at BSU? Bike, too?”

  He squinted, arrogant grin making my belly roll. “You don’t think those are my only rides. Right?”

  “Of course, not, Richie Rich.”

  He splashed water on me. My body jerked reactively, and I laughed so hard while wiping my face.

  “Oh, now it’s Richie Rich!” His smile was blinding. “I’ll take that, Stony.” He splashed me again.

  My eyes stretched wide, almost getting hit by water. I blocked some of it with my hands. “Stony! Stony?” One of the movies we binged on was “Set it Off.” He was calling me the character Jada Pinkett Smith played. “I’m gonna fuck you up.”

  I leaped for him. By the time I reached Ashton, he grabbed me up and dunked me into the water. I felt my body being pulled up, and I was dunked again. Again, my body was lifted, but I tried to fight him off. I couldn’t with his swift movements. The good thing was he wasn’t trying to dunk me again. Ashton held me in a bear hug as I worked to catch my breath.

  “Do you wanna go down to Millville or not? We can shower now and make it by dinner time.”

  I managed to process his words. At the same time, my leg brushed across his hard dick. Once the water stopped streaming from my head and I could breathe enough to speak, I shook my head.

  “No. My cousin, Renata, left last week for the Army. Her sister, Treesha, and our friend, Toya, are in Philly with Treesha’s baby’s father’s family.” I tried to breathe. “Ain’t nobody down there I wanna see.”

  I still hadn’t heard from my mother and refused to call her. It would low key break my heart if I saw Paul at her place.

  Ashton wrapped my legs around his waist, his hard-on especially clear against my ass, face tight. “You sure? I’d feel fucked up knowing I made this all about me.”

  I laughed. “You wouldn’t be you if it wasn’t all about you.”

  His grip on me went slack for a few seconds before he realized I’d begun to slip into the water and caught me.

  Ashton blinked hard. “What do you mean?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe the fresh meat thing with seniors. Every guy wants a chance at turning out a freshman.” I readjusted myself on his waist, finding his hard dick again. “Dre got Samantha, and you got me.” My boldness of kissing him surprised me, but felt so right. “You had your plans for the type of wife you want after school. I mean, I get you and Aivery broke up and all, but you know what your type is. I’m sure Dre knows his type, too: non-Black girls. So, it’s all for fun. Right?” I grinded over his cock wedged between my cheeks. When Ashton’s brows met and he blinked hard again, I panicked. “I didn’t mention a word to Samantha. We squashed the beef without me telling her about you and me, and I didn’t say anything about Dre’s BBMs.”