Savin' Me (A Heat Wave Novel)

by Alannah Lynne

  Steve shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “Getting him to open up won’t be easy. He’s lived in his own personal hell for ten years. He’s put down roots and gotten comfortable there.”

  Kevin pulled her out of the chair and wrapped her in a warm, affectionate embrace. He kissed the top of her head, and said, “We’re here for you. If you need anything…” He pulled away and shrugged nonchalantly. “And I mean anything… like someone to beat some sense into Erik. Just let us know.” He brushed his knuckles across her cheek, and added, “Just don’t give up on him. Okay?”

  She smiled despite the tears rolling down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure what to do to get through to Erik, but she drew courage and strength from the depth of caring these two had for him, and by transference, for her. As she fought off the suffocating despair, hope and resolve took flight in her gut.

  Speaking mostly to herself, she said, “Okay. If I have to wade through hell to reach him, that’s what I’ll do.” She winked at Kevin, then smiled at Steve. “Can I give you a ride home?”

  It was hard to tell which had done more damage, the biking accident or the Southern Comfort, as he gripped the bottle of Tylenol and stood with a grunt and groan. “That’d be great. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll be ready.”

  “Remember, sugar,” Kevin said, as she opened the French door. “We’re here for anything you need. Just don’t give up on him.”

  ***

  Erik leaned against the old oak tree and stared at the pristinely maintained grave. Anguish and regret had been his constant companions for ten years, whether he was consciously thinking of Lindsey or not. But whenever he came here, self-loathing and hatred threatened to consume him. It had been three years since he’d made this trip, and why he had the destructive need to come at four o’clock this morning, he didn’t know.

  Bullshit. You know exactly why.

  Yeah, because he loved Kat and was terrified of destroying her, just as he had Lindsey. He needed the physical reminder of what his kind of love did to a person.

  There were a lot of things about Kat that reminded him of Lindsey: the long, black hair and green eyes, but mostly her kind and gentle nature.

  Grief clogged his throat as he wondered what Lindsey would be doing right now, if she were alive. Would they have made it together this long? So many people didn’t stay married anymore. Would they have been one of the lucky ones? Would she be hauling their children to soccer games or dance lessons? Would she and his mother have become friends, or at least tolerated each other? Would she have adjusted to life on the coast, after having grown up in the mountains?

  She might have loved the coast, had you given her the chance to find out.

  He dropped his head into his upraised hands. Sitting here, asking these unanswerable questions was pointless. All these what ifs were nothing but dead ends. The real question, the one he refused to cast a light on, was, what about Kat?

  His heart begged him to get back on that bike, go back to Riverside, and grovel at her feet for being an undeserving ass. But his head screamed it would be a selfish move. He needed to stay as far away from her as possible.

  Dust stung his eyes as a sudden gust of wind lashed across the cemetery. As it subsided, a slow, gentle breeze brushed his face. It felt like Lindsey’s fingers as she caressed his cheek, something she did often.

  He moved closer to the marker for a better look at her picture. Was her spirit here with him? If she could speak to him, what would she say?

  As he stroked a finger along the picture’s edge, a chill washed over his neck, and an urgent need to see her parents shook him. He dropped his hand and sighed. As much as he would love to see them, he couldn’t. If he did, he would have to tell them what prompted his visit.

  In the years since Lindsey’s death, they encouraged him to move on with his life in every way and had reassured him it was okay, even healthy, for him to fall in love again.

  But he’d sworn there would never be anyone else. Guilt and shame kept him from admitting he’d been wrong. Besides, there wasn’t any point confessing anything to Lindsey’s parents. He and Kat were finished, and that was that.

  ***

  Kat fought a valiant battle, but feared losing the war. As she paced circles around her apartment, wondering where Erik had gone, the temptation to be miserable grew exponentially. Steve seemed to know, but would only say if his hunch was right, it would be late before Erik returned.

  Moping around never fixed anything and, usually, neither did running. But it made her feel better and kept her mind occupied, so she changed into her running clothes and shoes and hit the streets. As her feet pounded the pavement, running along the waterfront, then veering off along the narrow frontage road, she considered the bits and pieces she knew about Erik.

  The night they met, through subtlety and innuendos, he let her know he didn’t do serious relationships. After hearing stories of his wild and crazy lifestyle, she assumed it was because he enjoyed living a free and easy, unencumbered life. However, the closer she got to him, the less certain she was. He didn’t seem to embrace the lifestyle as much as he simply wanted to avoid relationships.

  But why? Why had he been “almost” engaged?

  Kevin and Steve made it sound as if something tragic had happened. She considered doing an internet search to see what she could find, but that felt wrong. It seemed like an invasion of his privacy, and she’d rather hear his story directly from him. She just had to figure out a way to get him to open up and let her in. If he didn’t, she’d never have the chance to soothe his old wounds and help him heal.

  As she rounded the final bend, almost home, her legs and lungs burned with each step. The pain was a wonderful diversion to the ache and frustration gripping her heart, and she considered going the distance again. But it was almost dark, and there were several things she needed to do for work, especially since she hadn’t gone back on Thursday night as planned. With a deep breath and a final push, she sprinted the rest of the way to her apartment, hoping and praying exhaustion helped her get a decent night’s sleep.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kat slogged into the office conference room and dropped into the chair, uninspired and as enthusiastic as she was going to get for the early Monday morning staff meeting. Everyone except Rusty was already seated, and they greeted her with a variety of nods, smiles, and what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-you expressions.

  Despite pushing herself to the point of exhaustion on her run, she hadn’t slept a wink. Her mind had insisted on hashing and rehashing the situation with Erik until she was physically and emotionally exhausted. Apparently, even exhaustion wasn’t the magic bullet for sleeping.

  Seth’s shoulder brushed hers as he leaned in close and whispered, “I’ve seen road kill look better than you. Are you okay?”

  She managed a chuckle and patted his hand. Despite his outlandish phrasing, she knew he meant well, and she appreciated his concern. Giving him a weary smile, she said, “You’re a good man, Seth. Someday, you’re going to make a great wife.”

  He rolled his eyes and tried to look put off, but the blush coloring his cheeks and the veiled gratitude in his eyes let her know he appreciated the comment.

  A sound at the door caught her attention, and she turned in time to see Rusty shuffle into the conference room. Instantly, she went on high alert. Something was wrong because Rusty didn’t shuffle. Ever. He always moved with zest and vigor and barely contained excitement. But today, he moved as if his feet were ten times too heavy for his legs.

  He glanced around the room, seemingly to make sure everyone was accounted for. But when his gaze landed on Kat, his brow dropped slightly and an indefinable expression clouded his features. His gaze lingered on her a little longer than everyone else, and he cleared his throat before looking away.

  Kat pulled out of her slump and sat straight up. She tried to regain his attention, but after his initial glance, he seemed determined to look anywhere but at her.

  Her mind ki
cked into gear as a jolt of fear shot through her. When they’d gotten back from the beach, she and Steve had left Erik’s car in his driveway. Kevin had then dropped each of them off at the respective homes, and after that, she hadn’t heard from any of them.

  What if something had happened to Erik? Wouldn’t Steve or Kevin have called her?

  As her thoughts continued to spiral out of control, Rusty started the meeting. She tried to concentrate, but the lack of sleep made her distress worse, and her attention remained divided between the meeting’s conversation and thoughts of Erik.

  Until Elise started talking… and key words buzzed like ringtones in the muddled fog of Kat’s brain.

  Brandon Kauffman

  Kauffman Motors

  Extensive media.

  Billboards.

  Elise was talking about a new business account she’d picked up over the weekend. A contact Kat had made last week and had an appointment with tomorrow.

  Kat whipped her head around to face Elise. “You bitch!” The words, filled with all the repressed frustration and pent-up anger from the weekend, flew out of her mouth before she processed the open and close motion of her lips.

  Elise froze with her eyes wide and her mouth dropped open. Someone at the table gasped, probably Seth, while Rusty turned to her, then stilled, unsure he’d actually heard Kat right.

  Elise’s form grew wavy from the black spots floating in front of Kat’s eyes. The blood rushing through her system reached Mach three and sent her blood pressure to a potentially lethal level. She thought back to Friday morning, when she’d stood in her office and glanced around, certain someone had been in it the night before, but unable to pinpoint a specific reason for the belief.

  “You took that file and those notes from my desk. I knew someone had been in my office Thursday night, but I didn’t take the time to go through everything and figure out what was missing.”

  Rusty turned to Elise and raised an eyebrow.

  Elise’s face flushed with color, and a sheen of perspiration appeared on her forehead. Not quite looking at Rusty, or anyone else, she said, “I’ve been working on acquiring this account for weeks.”

  “That’s bullshit. When I talked to Brandon last week, he never mentioned talking with you. I have an appointment set with him for tomorrow afternoon. If you’d been working with him, I think he would have told me. He certainly wouldn’t have wasted his time making an appointment with me.”

  “Meeting’s over,” Rusty said, glancing around the conference room table. “Elise and Kat, you stay put. Everyone else out.”

  The room emptied as if the place were on fire. The last one out shut the door, and as soon as the lock clicked into place, Rusty turned to Kat. “Tell me about your conversation with Brandon.”

  When Elise opened her mouth, he threw up a hand and gave her a look that dropped the temperature in the room twenty degrees. “You’ll have your turn. In a minute.”

  Kat gulped at his fierce expression, even though it wasn’t directed at her. She took a few deep breaths and thanked the fates that had forced her to develop the ability to reclaim her professional veneer in a matter of seconds. She also recognized that the majority of her emotional upset was with Erik, not this situation, so she forced herself to put things in their proper perspective.

  Ignoring Elise, she focused on Rusty, and said, “I spoke with Brandon last week and set an appointment for tomorrow. I saw their ads in the paper and felt like they needed help. We didn’t talk about a lot of specifics over the phone. It was a general cold call. But…” She turned and glared at Elise. “I’d made detailed notes of all that I would recommend. One of the items was to increase their presence through the use of billboards. Not just in Riverside, but in the surrounding markets and especially the rural areas.”

  She explained a few of the other specific recommendations she’d jotted down—most of which Elise had already discussed, unfortunately—then waited for Rusty to comment.

  Rusty turned to Elise, who resembled a cat that’d been tossed into a full bathtub, haughty and pissed off. “I’m sure you have a different story to tell.”

  Elise squared her shoulders and lifted her chin. “It sounds to me like she’s been reading my notes.”

  Rusty scrubbed a hand down his face. “I figured you’d say something like that.” He tapped his pen on the table, presumably trying to figure out where to go from here. He looked as tired as she felt, and Kat regretted that he’d been drawn into the middle of Elise’s bullshit.

  Finally, he took a deep breath and said to Elise, “We’ll talk about this more later. Right now, I have something else that I need to discuss with Kat.”

  Accepting the dismissal for what it was, Elise gathered her papers and left the conference room with what Kat considered to be more pride than the circumstances warranted.

  But thoughts of Elise evaporated into fear as Kat studied Rusty’s expression and weighed his overall demeanor. She rubbed her hands over her arms, fending off the chill, and said, “What’s wrong?”

  He took a deep breath, then slowly exhaled. “I got a call from Erik…”

  “Is he okay?”

  He huffed and slumped lower in his seat. “No, I don’t think so.”

  Alarm shot through her. “What? Where is he?”

  He grabbed her hand to keep her from jumping up and bolting for the door. “He wants me to take back his account.”

  Shock rocketed through her, and she collapsed like a balloon that had been hit by a blowtorch. She blinked a couple of times and shook her head, like that would suddenly clear things up for her. “I can’t believe he’d do that to me.”

  Rusty drew in a ragged breath and shook his head, like he didn’t believe it either. “I don’t know what the hell happened with you two, but I can tell you this. The man I spoke with last night didn’t sound anything like the Erik I know. The voice was the same, but he was a hollow shell.”

  She rubbed her temples, trying to make sense of the last ten minutes. Elise had broken into her office, taken her notes, and stolen a potential client out from under her. Standard operating procedure in this business. It pissed her off, but it was to be expected.

  Erik, the lying bastard who promised their personal relationship wouldn’t affect their professional relationship—I promise it won’t have any effect on your job—had just sliced her open and left her bleeding on the table.

  She couldn’t believe he yanked his account away from her, knowing how important her career and this job were. And not only did this move affect his account, but it also took away the cross promotion she was working on with Mazze Builders and the CPA.

  Hurt and betrayal knotted her gut like a Jack-in-the box wound too tight. She needed to confront Erik before she exploded and left a mess all over everyone. If he thought he could get rid of her this easily, he needed to think again.

  The hurt and betrayal quickly morphed into fury. She knew he hurt and suspected this move was a defensive one, designed to keep her at a distance so he wouldn’t have to deal with his feelings for her. But she refused to let him take the chicken-shit way out.

  She thought back to Steve’s description of Erik living in his own personal hell, and an image of Erik wading around in misery and despair struck her. They’d asked her to not give up on him, and she promised she wouldn’t.

  Unlike Erik, she kept her promises.

  She might knock him on his ass first before grabbing him by the scruff of the neck and dragging him to higher ground. But she would do whatever it took to reach him.

  Because that’s what you did when you loved someone.

  Rusty, who’d been patiently waiting for her to reach a level state, said, “You okay?”

  “I’m getting there. But I need to go see Erik.”

  Rusty gave a half-smile and nodded. “Good. I’m worried about him.”

  Rather than bee-lining for the door, she found herself sitting in the chair, thinking. Thinking about everything that had happened this morning,
all that had transpired at Reynolds and Ashbury, and everything Granddad had said over the phone.

  She took several deep breaths to get into her zone and carefully considered the words fighting to break free from her lips. One should never make life-altering decisions under extreme duress, but she was tired of living like this. “Rusty, I appreciate the opportunity you’ve given me here and have enjoyed working for you. But I need to give my two week notice. I’ll have the official documentation for you this afternoon.”

  Rusty drew back in shock. “What?”

  She reached across the table and took his hand in hers. “I don’t want to be constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering where the next knife is coming from. I want to find something less cutthroat and to work someplace where I can really make a difference in people’s lives.”

  Rusty stared at her with a blank face, seemingly at a total loss. After several moments, he squeezed her hand, then stood. “Why don’t you talk to Erik and get that situation resolved.” He smiled warmly. “Then we’ll talk about this resignation stuff. Okay?”

  By the time she walked home, got her car, and made the trek to Erik’s office, an hour had passed. The time and space had been good, had given her the opportunity to calm down, soothe some of the rawness of her emotions, and figure out what to say to Erik.

  She doubted Erik had thought to warn Elaina, Monteague Boats' receptionist, that a pissed-off Kat might show up on their doorstep. But just in case, she slipped on a friendly, non-threatening mask before entering the lobby. “Good morning. I need to see Erik.”

  Elaina didn’t seem to be concerned about Kat’s unstable emotional state, but she also wasn’t carrying the same lightness as the day Kat toured the plant. “I’m sorry. He’s not in.”

  Kat studied her expression for a moment and decided she wasn’t covering for Erik by giving the old he’s-not-available response, when he was actually hiding in his office. “Do you know where I can find him?”