When Colour Became Grey

by A Lorenzen

  ‘Blake!’ I shouted at his overreaction.

  ‘Fine. Report me to Jesper. It was an unpredictable-’

  Blake got into Ben’s face, dug his finger into Ben’s chest and hissed, ‘She’s not field approved!’

  After a few tension-filled seconds, Ben finally backed away from Blake. He turned to me, his expression softening. ‘Sorry for the trouble I caused you. Good night.’

  Blake watched him carefully until we heard Ben’s car squeal as he sped away.

  ‘Let’s go.’

  Blake helped me out of my jacket and inserted a syringe filled with blood into my arm. It was not much, just enough to make the scratches disappear. He insisted on taking a look at my shoulder himself, even if Ben had put it back into its socket. Then he went on to be unusually smothering, asking me if I needed anything, even touching my arm and squeezing it lightly.

  ‘I’m fine!’ I jumped up, waving my arm to show I could move it again, ‘But you could have been just a smidge less aggressive to Ben!’

  Why was I poking the bear?! I knew this would only end in a fight. And why the hell was I defending Ben after he had left me high and dry all this time?!

  Blake’s face changed to anger when I mentioned Ben’s name. ‘He’s a trainer. It is his responsibility to watch over new recruits.’

  ‘But I’m not his recruit! And he was fighting with two molochs already, there was no way he could have looked around and seen the third one-’

  ‘He doesn’t have a recruit; did you know that?’ Blake crossed his arms in front of his pumped-up chest.

  ‘I didn’t know he was a trainer, I only met him once before at Santa’s.’ I hoped it wasn’t obvious to Blake that I was attracted to Ben.

  ‘His last recruit had been here about six months, but while I watched you with eagle eyes and pushed you to train harder, he decided his recruit could handle himself. So, he went out drinking and left his recruit unsupervised. His young recruit didn’t know better and went outside, where he was surprised by a gang of vampires. And I found him, or what was left of him.’

  Blake took a moment, almost as if trying to compose himself.

  ‘He was… tortured- I almost didn’t… butchered beyond-’

  Blake closed his eyes.

  I stayed quiet. ‘When was this?’ I finally asked.

  ‘Before you came here.’

  Now I understood why Blake never left me out of his sight. Maybe vampires were more dangerous than I had first thought…

  Blake exhaled deeply. ‘It’s late and I still need to talk to your master. Just… stay away from Ben, he’s bad news.’

  I nodded. Not that Ben wanted to see me anyway. It was a moot conversation.

  Blake turned to walk up the stairs but stopped. He swung around again, a tired smile on his lips. ‘I thought you might want to know; I think you’re ready.’

  ‘Ready? To meet my master? Be approved for field work?’

  ‘Slow down. I will suggest to your master that you take the test. He will make the decision. And you will still have to pass the test.’

  My swelling joy was stifled. ‘Right…’

  ‘But tonight, don’t worry about it. Get some sleep,’ Blake stated with half a smile. He brushed his left hand through his blond hair and took out his phone.

  I trotted into my bedroom and let myself fall onto the bed. There was a soft mumbled voice coming from above me; Blake was on the phone right now to my master!

  I reached for my phone to text Kim and saw a message from Ben. ‘Sorry for everything. Can we get a drink?’

  Against my better judgment I replied. ‘Why? You blew me off and now you want to see me? You’re just feeling guilty!’

  I didn’t want to see him. But I also did.

  While I texted with Ben, I also informed Kim of his reappearance. It was unsettling knowing what had happened to his recruit, but there was a little voice in the back of my mind that didn’t believe it was really Ben’s fault. Or was it because I just didn’t want to believe it was true? Was I refusing to see Ben for who he was? Or was Blake manipulating me? He had always been possessive…

  Another message from Ben. ‘I’m sorry for not calling please let me make it up to you’

  He added a kissing smiley face. I pondered what to say. He annoyed me. I left my phone on the nightstand and went to bed. No use losing sleep over it.

  THE COVER-UP

  The drive to Santa’s pub was quiet. Kim had preferred meeting there instead of at her house. She had had a fight with Dominic and she needed a break from him.

  ‘He is so exhausting sometimes,’ she announced walking in and smacking her car keys on the bar counter next to me.

  Startled at her sudden arrival, I leant back on the bar stool.

  ‘That dude is impossible! I just went on a raid with him and killed six molochs. Now he wants me to go to some of the usual hide-outs tonight and take out some more! I’ve already been on a raid today and I fucking got bitten again!’

  She poured herself a shot of tequila and downed it without taking a breath.

  ‘If he wants to kill molochs he can just go do it himself!’

  ‘Why doesn’t he?’ I asked carefully.

  ‘Because,’ she downed another shot, ‘We are a team and the number of dead molochs and vampires are linked to the both of us, so he wants me to sweat while he goes out fucking girls or whatever.’

  When she saw the question mark written on my face she explained, ‘The council tracks the number of molochs and vampires you kill, but since you and your trainer are a team, they don’t count your individual kills. Once you’re field approved, you’ll have to contribute as well. Dom has been riding me hard the past few months because he had been slacking off before and we had to get our numbers up. But I know him, now that we are back on track, he will be slacking off again while I am stuck keeping the numbers up.’

  ‘Can’t you tell your master?’

  Kim sat down and pushed the bottle of tequila away. ‘Gordon is in the human world for something and until he’s back, he’s impossible to reach. And Dom knows that!’

  She exhaled deeply and relaxed her shoulders. Her hair fell in waves over her arms and played with the bar top.

  ‘Masters can go into the human world?’

  ‘Yes, there are portals that they can use, but they are monitored and you need to explain why you need to use one. Most of the time it’s to look for a new recruit. I don’t know what Gordon is doing over there now, but I guess the council agreed.’

  I assumed there was a reason why masters returned to Idolon when they could just go stay in the human world with their families and friends. Were those the same portals that vampires and molochs used to travel between the two worlds? But if it was, why were they allowed to go through? And why hadn’t they been sealed so the monsters would stay here and not harm the humans? No, vampires and molochs had to be a different thing. I doubted the council was letting those monsters travel freely into the human world to wreak havoc.

  The pub was starting to fill with ghosts back from a night of hunting. It was getting loud.

  I remembered Blake talking about districts before. He had explained that we were assigned one by the council and had to patrol it. The boundaries between districts were not strict but helped coordinate the overall ghost force.

  ‘Why is it always so busy? I thought only you, me, Blake, Dominic and Carl guarded this area.’

  ‘We are blessed with one of the best pubs, so many of the neighbouring ghosts travel here.’

  ‘Tell me, what was all that with Ben you texted about?’ she suddenly asked.

  ‘Eeehh, well I ran into him and saved him from those molochs and now he’s acting all apologetic and wants to make it up to me. And Blake doesn’t like him at all. Ben took me home and Blake almost hit him.’

  Should I tell her about his recruit? Probably not, at least not while I didn’t understand everything.

  ‘Blake is always so protective of you, it’s almost susp
icious…’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  Kim looked into my eyes for a few seconds. ‘Nothing. I need to go to the ladies.’ She left me alone at the bar.

  There was a large group of men gathered around one of the pool tables, cheering and making all sorts of noise while watching two people play. Absentmindedly, I watched too, but couldn’t really see much with all the people crammed around the table.

  Then, I saw him.

  All the blood drained from my limbs; my heart stopped. The horrible images of what he had done to me burned in front of my eyes and played back over and over.

  I had to leave. I could not risk him seeing me. I left the bar stool and pushed people aside to get to the door and out of the pub as quickly as possible. My heart raced; my breathing was ragged. Paranoid that he might be following me, I ran across the parking lot to Blake’s truck. In my haste, I tried to open the door without unlocking it. Annoyed, I scrambled for the key in my pockets and dropped them on the asphalt under the truck. Without any regard for my clothes, I threw myself on the ground looking for them. They were not far. I grabbed them and stood up. I could hear footsteps. Someone was approaching. Panic set in and I fumbled with the key. Finally, the door squeaked and I jumped inside, slamming the door closed behind me.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the person getting into another car. They quietly backed out of the parking spot and left.

  Fuck.

  My hands were shaking. It wasn’t him! He probably hadn’t even seen me and I completely lost it over some stranger just minding his own damn business. My whole body was drenched in sweat. I closed my eyes and tried to breathe in normally.

  Nothing had happened. Everything was ok.

  The door suddenly opened and someone grabbed me by the arm. I screamed and kicked at whoever was trying to pull me out of the truck, clinging to the driver’s seat. The person was big and strong; within seconds he had gotten me out of the truck. With all my strength I fought him, trying to inflict pain on him in any way possible. The man spun me around and my head banged against the door of an adjacent car. My head was spinning and I couldn’t see straight. I stopped struggling.

  The man pulled me towards the hood of Blake’s pick-up truck, further into the trees and bushes that lined the parking lot. I remembered I had a gun inside my jacket.

  ‘I’m going to have you,’ he announced in his Eastern European accent.

  ‘No,’ I pleaded with him, but I knew it was pointless. My right hand glided along my torso to my left side where I had the gun.

  Vladimir dropped me on the hood of the truck and pushed my upper body against it, holding me in place. I heard him undo his belt and zipper.

  I tried to reach the gun, but my arm was blocked by Vladimir’s weight leaning against my back. My shoulder hurt as I tried pushing my arm further inwards to reach the gun. I couldn’t reach it. Desperate, I screamed for help.

  ‘Shut up bitch!’

  Vladimir grabbed my jaw and nose and held my mouth shut, while he eagerly ripped my tights and pulled the dress up with his other hand. His grubby hand fumbled between my legs. I tried to move but he was so much bigger and heavier than me. Tears streamed down my face and sobs rattled through me.

  A loud bang tore through my ears.

  There was a moment of silence. Vladimir was still standing right behind me, his weight forcing me to remain bent over the hood, but he had stopped moving. Another bang pierced the silence.

  A groan echoed behind me and then Vladimir’s weight shifted. He fell to the ground to the side of Blake’s truck, still alive and bleeding from his gut.

  I heard my name being whispered. I blinked and saw Kim. Vladimir let out a moan; Kim shot twice more without so much as a glance. I pulled my dress down over my exposed bottom and looked down at Vladimir.

  Kim drew me into her arms and hugged me tightly. We held the embrace for several minutes. I felt so relieved he was dead, relieved he had not succeeded in his second attempt. If she hadn’t killed him, he would have kept trying.

  ‘Did he…’ Kim breathed in shakily. ‘Was he…?’

  I shook my head in response. A few seconds more and he would have. His hand had touched me.

  ‘We need to get rid of the body,’ Kim announced, slowly letting go of me.

  I knew she was right; I just needed a moment to deal with the fact I would have to touch him. My eyes fell back onto his body. He was dead and could no longer hurt me. He was dead and could no longer hurt me. I repeated it several times.

  ‘I don’t know if I can.’ My voice was shaking.

  ‘I’m not strong enough to lift him by myself. I’m sorry, you have to help me.’ Kim was crying. ‘I can’t do it alone’

  He was dead. There was a dead body lying in front of us. A real corpse…

  I turned away and threw up in the bushes.

  ‘Ameerah we can’t stay here. Someone might see us.’

  ‘Let’s just get this over with.’ I brushed my hands over my face and pulled my hair back. What had we done?

  We pulled him towards the back of the truck and hoisted him up into the open flatbed of Blake’s truck.

  ‘Where do we dump him?’ I looked at Kim once the body was lying in the back.

  She sighed deeply and gathered her thoughts. ‘Outside of this district, in the river’

  Kim drove us further downriver, until we reached the edge of district, by a large bridge. There were no lights on the bridge so we rolled up and stopped on the pedestrian walkway, hoping the darkness would keep us hidden from unwanted eyes. Even if it was dead silent and we were obscured, we couldn’t help but feel paranoid.

  ‘We need to do it quick.’

  Kim jumped up into the back and rolled the corpse out until it plumped to the ground.

  A new wave of dry heaves overtook me.

  ‘We’re so close, come on!’ She grabbed my arm and squeezed it tightly.

  We each took an arm and pulled him to the rail. We hoisted his chest up so his head dangled over the river. With a heave, we pushed the rest up until the weight on the other side was greater and his body toppled over the railing. There was a splash. The body disappeared under the dark surface of the water. Further downstream it emerged again and quietly floated at the surface.

  ‘We should have weighted him down,’ Kim stated dryly.

  ‘It’s done now. I want to leave.’ I climbed into the passenger seat.

  It was silent for a long time in the car.

  ‘They will find the body at some point.’ Kim said and turned to look at me. ‘You need to be ready if this comes back to us.’

  I nodded silently. I felt drained and disconnected from reality. It all felt so unreal, like the hazy memories of a bad movie, far away and out of focus, as if it had all happened to someone else.

  ‘It wasn’t the first time,’ my mouth said but it didn’t sound like my voice. With the least number of words possible, I told Kim everything. Reliving it was traumatizing; I could barely bring myself to say it out loud.

  Kim reached over and squeezed my hand tightly.

  ‘He can’t hurt you anymore,’ she said, tears running down her face. Seeing her cry, just made me cry harder.

  We were back at Santa’s within two hours. Kim said we had to avoid any unusual or suspicious behaviour, so she would drive back in her car and we had to keep everything a secret.

  ‘You need to get rid of the blood in the back. Does Blake have a hose at the house?’ Kim asked me quietly when she had turned off the engine.

  Everything had happened so fast. Only a few hours before I had pulled into this parking lot getting ready for a night out at Santa’s with Kim…

  ‘Probably in the garage.’

  ‘Clean out the blood when you get home. I can’t go with you, it’s already late and Dominic will notice if I stay out all night.’

  ‘I can’t believe it happened to me.’

  We tried to keep the tears in, but we were both unsuccessful.

  �
�It will be ok, honey. I’m in it with you.’ Kim hugged me tightly.

  Eventually, she got out of the old truck and headed for her own car. I knew I had to muster the courage to clean the back. If I thought about it, I wouldn’t be able to. I had to get it done. Climbing over to the gear stick I sat in driver’s seat, I turned the engine on with trembling hands and headed home. The tears kept coming. I felt so dirty and used. Every mental image made me shudder. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw him, felt his breath on my neck, his fingers clamping over my mouth, between my legs. A new way of dry heaves made me gag. By now there was nothing left inside me. Only saliva drooled down my front onto my bare legs.

  Exhausted, I arrived at home. I had never been inside the garage. My hand tried the knob, but the door was locked. I tried all the keys on my key chain before one finally unlocked the garage. It was filled with tactical gear of all sorts: weapons, ammunition, grenades, rocket launchers, goggles, clothes, hunting rifles. Along the wall on the left were a few tools you would usually find in a garage such as an axe, a chainsaw, ladders, hammers, screws, and a short hose at the very back.

  The hose was too short for me to be able to get close enough to see what I was doing. I had to spray the flatbed from further away, switch off the water and walk to the back of the truck and check my progress. I used an old broom to scrub the metal clean and brush the excess water from the flatbed.

  My limbs barely managed to carry me up the stairs and into my room. Exhausted, I pulled off my ripped, dirty clothes and stuffed them in a spare bag. Next time I went out I would have to get rid of them. I had already decided I would not tell Blake what had happened. If he knew what Vladimir had tried to do, he would want to kill him, and that impossibility would inevitably lead to more questions. From there, it would not be hard to put two and two together.

  It was very late by now. But nothing mattered beside the fact that he was now dead. Vladimir would never be able to touch me again.

  REVELATIONS

  The days that followed were filled with nothing but preparation for my field test. According to Blake, my master was observing me closely, and would soon agree to meet. It was tradition for a master not to meet his recruits before they passed the field test. Maybe it was their way of not getting too attached in case their recruit didn’t make it…