When Colour Became Grey

by A Lorenzen

  Vladimir pulled me by the leg towards him and twisted my body around, so I was facing him. His body weight made it impossible for me to get away. I pleaded for him to stop but he held my mouth shut with his massive meaty hand. He covered my mouth and nose. I could barely breathe. His massive torso pressed down on me, barely letting any air into my lungs.

  My heart raced. I had to do something. With his other hand he fumbled with his pants.

  I grabbed a handful of gravely dirt and threw it at his face. He just shook his head and spit in my face. It wasn’t enough.

  I forced my thumb into his left eye. Vladimir leaned back and pressed my mouth and nose completely closed, but I wasn’t letting it go. I used my nail and forced it further into his eye starting to draw blood. He let go of my mouth and twisted my thumb out of his eye.

  My right arm was now pinned under his weight. Vladimir grabbed my left arm trying to pin it down as well. He pulled my thumb back further than it should ever go. Any second, I was sure it would break.

  I heard a noise in the distance. Vladimir looked up. Someone was calling my name and they were getting closer.

  ‘Fuck!’ I heard him breathe on top of me. He froze a few seconds, looking around.

  My mouth was uncovered. This was my chance.

  ‘Blake!’ I screamed as loudly as I could. Vladimir punched me in the face, breaking my nose.

  ‘Blake!’ I screamed again, my voice shaking, blood bubbling in my mouth.

  He called my name, this time much closer.

  Vladimir held my mouth closed and pulled a knife out of his pocket and placed it under my chin, pushing the tip into my flesh. ‘You say one word and you’re dead!’ he hushed and got off me.

  Vladimir ran off, holding his pants up.

  I lay bleeding, in shock, struggling to breathe, and to comprehend what had just happened. Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t let Blake see me like this. Rolling over, I clawed the wall to raise myself up, I tried to tell myself encouraging words. With the back of my hands I brushed over my face. I pulled up my jeans and took a few deep breaths.

  I had been seconds away from rape. If Blake hadn’t-

  A new wave of tears overcame me.

  ‘Ameerah!’ I heard steps approaching.

  ‘Blake’ I mouthed relieved. He sprinted around the corner and I fell into his arms. I held on so tightly I didn’t want to let him go.

  * * *

  Since that night at the pub, I had been even more motivated to excel. I promised myself I would train hard to be able to defend myself from more than just molochs. I was terrified he would try again…

  Blake informed me my initial training was approaching its end. I would soon get to meet my master and take the test to be field approved. Once I had passed, I would graduate to a combating ghost and go on missions with Blake.

  In the final stretch of my training, as long as it did not affect my physical condition, I was allowed to go out every now and then and have some fun. Blake chose to come along most of the time and truth be told, I wasn’t against him watching over me. I never went to Santa’s pub alone; I was too afraid.

  The first few weeks after the incident I had been perfectly content to stay at home, but the more time passed, the more I hated him having control over my life. Whatever he had done, I had to try and live a normal life and enjoy it.

  Whenever I saw Carl, I worried Vladimir would be there too. Later, I overheard they had had a falling out and Vladimir had taken off and hadn’t been seen for a while. I hoped he had been killed by molochs, but considering all the things that had happened, this world would not be so kind to me.

  Every now and again Blake would have an obsessive moment where he would suddenly not let me out of his sight. But those hiccups always passed, eventually. He quickly understood that trying to keep me away from Kim would just mean more trouble for him.

  ‘You can have my truck for tonight,’ Blake agreed.

  ‘What about my own car?’ I poked at him with a cheeky smile.

  ‘Once you’ve passed your field test, then yes,’ he conceded.

  It wasn’t exactly what I wanted to hear but it was better than I had expected. Any small step towards independence was a huge victory!

  I smiled and took another sip from my wine. It had been a long training day focused entirely on hand-to-hand combat and I was looking forward to a night out.

  I put on a little dress that was sexy, though not too revealing. Kim had picked it out for me, along with a whole new more feminine wardrobe. My mother would be so proud of my newfound identity…

  A smile played across my lips. I hadn’t thought about my mother in a while. What would we be doing if I was home right now? Watching a movie? Baking a cake for the family…

  I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. It was so easy to fall down that dark hole. It snuck up on me without warning; and then it was there, this big gap of heartache. You couldn’t escape your memories. That abyss was always there ready to swallow you without a second’s notice.

  Taking another deep breath, I turned my head upwards and let it fall back between my shoulders. I placed my hands on both sides of my hips.

  Each time I accidentally stumbled into the memories of the life I had left behind, a crushing pain spread in my chest, suffocating me. Those memories served as a reminder that his was prison. Why couldn’t I just forget? Why couldn’t the council or whoever controlled this entire world wipe away all this anguish? Why did we have to suffer?

  I didn’t want to cry. I was ready to go out and Kim was waiting for me; I couldn’t break down now. Or ever. I had to keep going. Until this was done.

  I took a few deep breaths before opening my eyes again. For a moment, I thought I saw Blake flash by the open bathroom door. Had he been watching me? Or maybe he had just walked by?

  I pushed my memories back into a far-away pocket of my mind where they resided.

  ‘I’m going,’ I announced grabbing my phone and gun.

  ‘Be careful. And remember to text me.’ Blake sat in his chair by the window and had his guitar on his lap. He winked at me and started strumming a vaguely familiar tune.

  I nodded and walked down the stairs, opened the door to the old truck, and put my heels on the passenger seat; I couldn’t drive in heels, so I used moonboots instead.

  It was a quick ride to Kim’s place. Once I arrived at her door, I texted her. A few minutes later she came out and hurried towards the truck. Kim had put on a pair of tight blue jeans with high heels and a dark purple top with a plunging neckline. Her hair was loosely tied in the back. She had thrown on an old leather jacket to top off her look.

  ‘Hey sweet thing,’ she greeted me with a hug and a kiss, ‘What’s been happening with you?’

  ‘Blake said I could get my own car after I get field approved,’ I announced full of joy.

  ‘That’s great! Did he say when you would take the test?’

  ‘No, but it should be soon. I’ve done exactly what he’s told me and I’ve kept up my training. I’m doing alright in hand combat and I am definitely good with the guns now, so I hope it’s soon.’

  Kim nodded. ‘If it were up to me, you’d take the test now. I think you’re ready. And you need to move forward, once you pass your test you can be free and do what you like-’

  I burst out laughing. ‘Oh because Dominic lets you do what you want?’

  Kim stuck her tongue out at me. ‘Ok ok, you can do more stuff than you do now. You could hang with me, go on dates. Maybe this Ben will come back in the picture?’

  I felt a sting at the mention of Ben’s name, followed by a surge of anger and confusion. ‘What makes you think he’ll come back?’

  ‘Because he would be fool to let a woman like you go,’ Kim stated, shrugging her shoulders. I smiled at her flattery but feared he didn’t see it that way.

  We arrived at the usual parking lot. There were only a few cars parked in front of it. It was still early in the evening.

  Kim went into
the pub ahead of me. We mixed ourselves drinks at the counter and sat down in a corner with a chess set. Kim and I loved to play games in the pub, especially when it was a quiet night. My phone vibrated. I took it out and read the message.

  ‘Blake?’ Kim asked.

  I nodded and confirmed I had safely arrived at Santa’s and was now playing chess. As proof I sent him a selfie. Our game was not interrupted further. The evening continued and we played a few games of pool with some of Santa’s regulars. Carl greeted us quickly and disappeared into the depth of the pub with a large bottle of whisky.

  I was still paranoid whenever I saw him but once again, Vladimir was nowhere to be seen. I was too afraid to ask Carl about him, I prayed they were still not speaking. Or better yet, Vladimir was dead somewhere in a ditch.

  As the time passed, the pub filled up and there were people everywhere. We didn’t mind. It was great when there were more people; it almost felt normal and brought us back to our partying days as humans.

  Kim flirted with a few guys but seemed to enjoy having them battle over her more than actually finding herself a boyfriend. Some tried to flirt with me and I responded dryly, without leading them on. None of them interested me and all they did was remind me of the disaster with Ben. I was not ready to repeat that just yet.

  As the night wore on, Blake began texting more and more frequently asking when I would be home. Since the reception in the pub was bad, his messages would come through an hour late and all together, so my phone kept beeping. I couldn’t hold him off any longer. I had dropped Kim off and was on my way home when I decided to drive to the riverfront and for a bit of fresh air before heading home. The night had gotten chilly and it was dead quiet, which was a welcome feeling after hours spent in a stuffy bar with loud music and lots of people around me. I leant against Blake’s rusty truck and listened to the water. The river flowed uninterrupted. It was so peaceful.

  The city was sleeping. My thoughts found their usual path and soon I was thinking of my family and friends from my old life. I reminded myself this passage on Idolon was only temporary and I would see them again soon. I kept repeating this to myself, before tears invaded my eyes and sorrow shook through me.

  A quick movement, or maybe it was just a sound, snapped me out of my dreams. I turned around, scanning the vicinity for danger. My right hand was on my gun, ready, just like Blake had taught me. There was a rumbling sound in the distance. Behind the truck was a huge square with a few trees and streetlights dispersed. The square was lined with four-story high buildings and narrow pedestrian walkways. Out of the far-right corner a metallic bin was tipped over and two figures appeared, sniffing around the garbage spilling from the bin. I ducked behind the truck. There was a tingling feeling spreading in my body into my extremities. The feeling was familiar and manifested itself whenever there were molochs close-by. I felt torn; should I kill them even though I wasn’t field approved? Should I drive away and be safe? But could I really drive off when my duty was to kill them?

  I observed the figures while I debated in my head. They hissed and snapped their teeth at each other, establishing dominance over the trash.

  My phone vibrated, startling me. I took my eyes off the molochs, fumbling around with the damn thing. It was Blake calling. I silenced the call. When I looked back up, the molochs, were nowhere to be seen. Had they heard my phone? Were they close? Stalking me? I swirled around, swinging my gun, but pointing only at the air. There was no one here with me at the riverfront.

  A chorus of roars broke the silence and I finally spotted them still on the square, but on the far-left side now, battling. A third moloch had appeared. No, it looked like the two molochs were attacking the third one, but he was larger than the other two... The way he defended himself, it could not be a third moloch. It had to be a ghost!

  I had to do something! If I ran away now, I would always run. Blake would shoot me himself for taking the risk, but I had no choice. Whoever it was out there, they were going to be torn apart if I didn’t help.

  I ran swiftly towards the left building front and snuck up along the buildings so they would not see me unless they stared right in my direction. I had my gun in hand and was close enough to see the ghost was bleeding from his arm. My heart was drumming in my ears.

  This was it.

  I aimed but was unable to get a clean shot. Luckily, the ghost threw one of the molochs off himself and far enough away I could risk a shot. It resonated in my ears and the echo bounced off the buildings. The ghost was startled by the sudden loud bang; the last moloch took advantage of their hesitation and jumped onto the ghost, entangling them again before I could shoot. I approached the battling duo, leaving my hiding place.

  My eyes were focused on the ghost. They were struggling, wrestling, falling to the ground, too close to each other. I couldn’t risk a shot, but I couldn’t jump on them and battle with them either!

  I spotted something in the corner of my eye, but I wasn’t quick enough to react. My gun flew out of my hands; a third moloch slammed me to the ground, bruising my hip. I rolled over and tried to get up. I was barely crouching when the moloch jumped at me again, dragging me down. My left shoulder hit the hard concrete and I felt something snap inside me. With trembling hands, I held the moloch’s jaw away from my neck, as its claws lashed out, scratching every inch of skin it could reach. The pain from my left shoulder spread, sapping my strength. I shifted my weight and managed to push the moloch off me. I spotted my gun not too far away. I used my right arm to crawl forward. The moloch was back on me just as I had my fingertips on the gun. I turned on my back, leaving the gun, kicking the moloch with my naked legs several times before I made contact with its face. It howled in pain and laid its long claws on its face.

  I reached for the gun behind me, turned around, and pulled the trigger. The dead moloch landed on my legs. I wriggled and pushed its wrinkly body away from me, trying to catch my breath.

  The other ghost picked up his gun and hurried over to me as I was getting up.

  ‘You alright?’ he asked out of breath.

  I recognized his deep voice immediately. ‘Ben?!’

  He froze and the light fell on his face. ‘Ameerah?’ he asked surprised. ‘Where’s Blake? Have you been approved?’

  ‘No, no, no Blake, no approved. I was on my way home… and I stopped to look at the river when… when I heard the molochs and then I saw… someone and-’ I explained, gasping for air.

  ‘Are you hurt?’ Ben asked.

  ‘I think I broke something.’ I winced as I tried to move my arm.

  ‘Let me see.’ Ben helped me take off my jacket.

  The cold inched up my legs now that the adrenaline had stopped pumping through my body.

  ‘Where were you tonight? Did you go out to Santa’s?’ Ben asked his eyes fixed on my shoulder.

  ‘I was outaaAAAAAHHHH!’ I screamed. Ben had pushed my shoulder and it had rolled back into its socket.

  ‘Sorry. Don’t move your arm. Here.’ He carefully laid my jacket over my shoulder, pulling it closely over my body. I looked up into his eyes. His lips were so close, his breath on me. The electricity sparked between us, everything disappeared. I forgot the cold, I forgot my shoulder, all I saw were his lips…

  My phone vibrated. Damn it. Ben backed away from me. It was Blake and for once I was grateful, he had interrupted.

  ‘Where are you?! I have been trying to reach you-’ Blake yelled.

  ‘Yes… I’m sorry- I… no, I had- ok, I’m coming home now!’

  ‘Did I get you into trouble?’ Ben smiled apologetically.

  ‘Yes, you did,’ I stated annoyed and started walking towards Blake’s truck.

  ‘Can you drive?’

  ‘I’ll manage,’ I snipped at him and I climbed up into the driver’s seat. Ben laid my left arm into my lap so he could close the door. His hands were warm on my skin. I refused to meet his eye.

  ‘I’ll follow you home in my car, ok?’

  ‘No, it’s re
ally-’

  ‘No discussion. At least let me explain to Blake what happened.’

  I wanted to object, but he had already darted off, running along the lit buildings, and disappearing around a corner. The old truck roared to life with a steady thumping. Its vibrations travelled up my shoulder, making the pain double. A red Ford Mustang pulled up and Ben waved at me. I put the truck in drive and tapped the gas pedal.

  The rusty old truck had trouble keeping up with Ben’s sports car.

  Why was he here? Where had he been? Why hadn’t he gotten in contact with me? Did he not want to see me? And why on Earth did I have to run into him and save his ass? Things had been going so well and now Ben was back interrupting everything…

  When I pulled up in the truck, Blake burst out the door before I had turned off the engine.

  ‘Where the hell have you been?!’

  Blake flung open the door to the truck. His expression immediately changed.

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘Molochs.’

  ‘It’s my fault.’ Ben announced jogging up the driveway.

  When Blake recognized him, I could sense the storm brewing.

  ‘I was dealing with a pair of molochs when Ameerah saw me and stepped in,’ Ben explained.

  Blake’s stare was ice-cold. His arms tensed and his jaw tightened. All colour vanished from his face. Maybe I was mad at Ben, but it was nothing compared to the storm that was about to erupt from Blake.

  To my surprise I found myself defending Ben.

  ‘Really it was my fault. I was not careful; I didn’t see the third one-’

  Blake’s head swirled. ‘There were three?!’ he repeated, staring at me.

  Before I could answer he had turned back to Ben. ‘You missed the third one?’

  ‘It must have followed the sound of the fighting and caught up with us,’ Ben explained shrugging his shoulders.

  ‘You put her in danger.’ Blake pointed his finger at Ben. ‘She’s not field approved and she risked her life to save yours! I will report your complete incompetence and lack of proper assessment of the situation to her master and yours! This will not go without consequences!’