Blissfully Blindsided

by Robin Alexander

  “Seriously? You’re eating it?”

  “Not right now, but after I wash my hands,” Caleigh said before she flushed the toilet.

  Blaze poked her head around the curtain. “I do want some toothpaste.”

  Caleigh washed her hands and grabbed the tube of paste. She walked over to Blaze and squeezed some into her mouth before she squeezed some into her own. She watched as Blaze opened her mouth to the water, swished, and spat. “Why didn’t you swallow it?”

  “You’re not supposed—did you really eat it?”

  “Yeah, and I’ve done it before.” Caleigh tossed the tube on the counter before she got into the shower. “I want it to freshen all the way down.”

  Blaze stood sideways in the small stall, so Caleigh could get under the water. “I don’t know why, but you’re not supposed to eat it. How long have you been doing that?”

  “Well, Dr. Sonnier, I started out with a dose the size of a pea, and now I’m up to a tube a day. Ow! I have carpet burns everywhere! Seriously, I think they’re even on the tips of my toes.” Caleigh put a finger on Blaze’s lips. “You look like you’re about to apologize, don’t.” She smiled. “Last night was worth every one of my screaming nerve endings.”

  Chapter 14

  Chantal was seated at the table when Blaze and Caleigh walked into the kitchen. “Good morning,” she said cheerfully and looked as though she was about to burst out laughing.

  “Coffee’s fresh.” Ronnie looked over her shoulder while she stirred something in a pot on the stove. “I’m making oatmeal.” She turned her face away quickly and snorted.

  “Sit down, Caleigh, I’ll pour you a cup of coffee,” Blaze said and made her way to the coffeemaker. She glanced at Ronnie and Chantal, who avoided looking at her. “What’s up with you two?”

  “Well, we just learned something interesting by accident. If someone is talking in the upstairs bathroom, you can hear it very clearly in here. Just so you both know, there are a couple of chemicals in toothpaste that’ll give an adult the shits. It can poison children, and that’s why you don’t eat it,” Ronnie explained with her back to everyone and began to shake with silent laughter.

  Caleigh’s face reddened as she sank down into a chair. “Good to know.”

  “How’re your nerve endings?” Chantal asked before she burst out laughing.

  Ronnie was laughing too when she whirled around. “It sounded like a herd of buffalo during mating season up there last night, with a choir of hyenas serenading them. What the hell?” In between cackles of laughter she said, “Y’all look like Dalmatians with all those rug burns.”

  “I’m really relieved you’re taking this so well,” Blaze said as she watched Caleigh cover her face with her hands and laugh. “All right, Ronnie, go back to being an adult now.”

  Ronnie wiped her eyes. “Sorry, Caleigh. Thank y’all for giving me the best laugh I’ve had in a while.”

  “Happy to be of service,” Caleigh said with a smile.

  “You were in service a long time last night,” Chantal said and lost all composure as she laughed and caused Ronnie to cackle again.

  “You two have been spending too much time together.” Blaze went to the back door when she heard a knock. She threw it open when she saw who was standing on her porch. “Hey, you!”

  “Hey, Blaze.” Rosie strode into the kitchen and put her hands on her hips. “Momma, you have to come home. When Julie and her mom dropped me off this morning, I gagged when I walked in the house. It’s totally trashed, and it’s full of the smell.”

  “What kind of smell?” Blaze asked.

  “Sour dish rags and smoked meat, the man smell,” Rosie said with disgust.

  Ronnie narrowed her eyes. “The boys weren’t even there last night. They stayed with friends too, so who trashed the house and made it stink?”

  “Leif didn’t stay at Ben’s house. He told me Dad picked him up because he felt sick.” Rosie’s eyelids fluttered as she held up a hand. “He was sick. The toilet in the hallway bathroom looks like he murdered something in it. I think Dad had friends over because there’s beer bottles and pizza boxes all over the counters in the kitchen. I can’t go back there unless you’re with me. Seriously, I can’t deal.”

  “You see…” Ronnie clamped her lips together, and her nostrils flared. She walked into the pantry and closed the door behind her.

  “She keeps doing that,” Rosie whispered to Blaze. “She goes into our pantry to cry and hug a box of cereal. What’s wrong with her? Why is she crazy?”

  “She’s frustrated over having four kids instead of three. If you had a husband and he trashed your house like that, what would you do?”

  “Set it on fire and tell him to run,” Rosie answered promptly.

  A shrill scream came from the pantry before the door burst open. Ronnie charged out holding a box of cereal to her chest and ran through the living room. When another door slammed, Blaze held up a hand as Chantal started to get up. “I’ll go talk to her. I’m good with her marital rage.” She patted Rosie on the shoulder. “Make yourself at home, baby.”

  Caleigh jumped up and removed the oatmeal Ronnie was cooking from the burner and switched the stove off. “Hi, Rosie, I’m Caleigh. I’m dating your aunt.”

  Rosie shook Caleigh’s hand with a smile. “Nice to meet you.” She walked over to Chantal, who was staring at her as though she was starstruck and put out her hand. “I know you’re my grandma, and it’s nice to meet you too.”

  “Oh, Rosie, I’m so honored to meet you.” Chantal clasped Rosie’s hand with both of hers. “You are so beautiful.”

  “So are you,” Rosie said with a smile.

  “Rosie, do you want something to drink?” Caleigh asked.

  “I would love a cup of coffee. We stayed up late last night, and I’m dead on my feet.” Rosie walked over to the cabinet and took out a cup.

  Chantal and Caleigh exchanged glances as Rosie poured her coffee and added cream and sugar. “Do you normally drink coffee?” Caleigh asked.

  “Uh-huh,” Rosie said with a nod and took a sip from her cup. “Momma must’ve made this, it’s strong.” She added more cream and noticed how Caleigh and Chantal were staring at her. “Mom lets me drink coffee with her on the weekends. We’d probably be doing that right now if Dad wasn’t a—who he is, and she hadn’t gone crazy.” She took a seat at the table and smiled at Chantal. “So what’s it like to be a celebrity?”

  “I’ve never really been one of those, so I can’t say,” Chantal said with a smile. “I’m amazed by how much you look like your mother.”

  “Really? Momma says I look like Blaze, and I’m just like her.” Rosie jerked a thumb at herself. “That’s why I’m her favorite, and she lets me call her Blaze instead of Aunt Blaze.”

  “Chantal, aren’t you amazed at how strong your genes are?” Caleigh asked as she reclaimed her seat. “Even your grandkids look like you.”

  “I’m amazed by so many things,” Chantal said with a warm smile while she gazed at Rosie.

  “Your genes didn’t make it to my brothers, sorry. They have big heads like my dad.” Rosie listened for a moment to the muffled yelling coming from the back of the house. “What’s wrong with her?”

  “She’s dealing with a lot of things, and she’s going through menopause at the same time. Her hormone levels are all over the place, and she’s doing her best to cope with it all,” Chantal explained. “She’s not crazy.”

  “That’s why she’s hugging cereal then,” Rosie said with a thoughtful gaze. “She should’ve told me that. I get messed-up hormones. I started my period when I was ten.”

  “Aw,” Caleigh said with a frown.

  “Yeah, lucky me, right? It started right in the middle of me testing for my—get this, red belt in taekwondo.” Rosie laughed. “That sucked. Mom gave me a pad, and I’m out there trying to do my forms feeling like I’m wearing a diaper.” She took a sip of her coffee. “Why is her menopause a secret?”

  “I don’t k
now that it is. Perhaps you could have a coffee chat with her about it,” Chantal said and smiled. “She could use your support. She’s going through a whole range of emotions right now.”

  Rosie nodded. “I will. People are putting scarecrows out in their yards now for Halloween. Maybe I can talk Blaze into taking me and Mom to chop their heads off. That’d be a fun stress reliever.”

  “Why would they do that?” Chantal looked confused.

  “That’s what Blaze did after the bunny thing. She chopped the head off her neighbor’s plastic Easter Bunny, and she felt a lot better,” Rosie replied casually.

  “I don’t know what the bunny thing is.” Chantal looked at Caleigh for clarification.

  “Oh, crap, you haven’t heard about that?” Rosie asked excitedly. “Blaze kicked ass. She knocked two women out. When the cops got there, she was the only one standing. You know she’s tough when she can look cool in a fight wearing an Easter Bunny costume.”

  “Let me explain,” Caleigh interjected when Chantal looked disconcerted. She told Chantal the whole story, but Chantal still looked disturbed when she finished. “I can go upstairs and get my phone, so you can see the videos.”

  “No, no.” Chantal waved a hand when Rosie pulled her phone from the back pocket of her shorts. “I don’t want to see my child being punched in the face.”

  “She took it like a badass,” Rosie said proudly.

  “I know,” Caleigh agreed excitedly. “She was so—” She clamped her lips together and decided not to say anything else in front of Chantal. “She’s okay now.”

  “Yeah, and no one messes with her,” Rosie added.

  “I’m glad.” Chantal cleared her throat and smiled. “I know you like martial arts, what other interests do you have?”

  “Mostly just hanging with my friends and skateboarding,” Rosie said simply.

  “And your brothers?” Chantal inquired.

  Rosie waved a hand. “Football and girls. That’s all they can think about. I think that’s why the house stinks so bad. Trey dumped his gear in the laundry room after the game Friday night. I think Dad made the smoked meat smell.”

  “Does no one help your mother around the house?” Chantal asked.

  “We do. We all have chores, except for Dad.” Rosie took a sip of her coffee and nodded. “I should talk to him. He needs to step up. I’m not getting married because they say women marry men who remind them of their father. That’s just gross, and I wouldn’t marry anybody who thinks it’s funny to end a sentence with a fart.”

  “She’s better.” Blaze walked back into the kitchen, opened the cabinet by the stove, and took out an iron skillet. “Y’all keep an eye on her. I’m gonna go talk to Clint.”

  “Caleigh, stop her,” Chantal said quickly.

  “Seriously, babe?” Caleigh asked as she stood. “You’re gonna have to get too close with that. I’ll lure him outside and you can run him over with the car.” She smiled at Rosie. “We won’t hurt him. She’ll just give him a little bump to get his attention.”

  “I expected more from you, Caleigh,” Chantal whispered.

  “If you wanna get his attention, disconnect the cable in the middle of one of his football games,” Rosie suggested.

  Ronnie walked into the kitchen briskly, dressed and with her bag hanging on her shoulder. “I’ll handle this.” She waved a hand at Rosie. “Come on, baby, let’s go.”

  “I don’t think you’re in the right frame of mind to handle this right now.” Blaze held up the skillet. “Let me and my little friend go over there first and get things straightened out.”

  “I’m calm now. Thank you for letting me beat the stuffing out of one of your pillows. I need Clint conscious so he can clean the house. He is going to do that,” Ronnie said with a menacing tone. “Rosie, please stop texting. Let’s go.”

  “I’m telling Dad he’s about to die if he doesn’t have the kitchen and the living room clean before we get there.” Rosie typed quickly. “I’m gonna tell Leif to clean the toilet. You don’t wanna see that.”

  “Perhaps you could take the long way home to give them time to clean,” Chantal suggested nervously.

  Ronnie nodded. “Good idea.”

  “It was fun talking to y’all.” Rosie stood and drank the rest of her coffee. She set the empty cup in the sink, then asked, “Ms. Caleigh, why’re your knees all skinned up?”

  “She’s been roping hyenas,” Ronnie said with a slight smile.

  “Oh,” Rosie said as she looked at Blaze’s knees. “So that’s what y’all are calling it.”

  Blaze playfully smacked Rosie on the bottom with the skillet when she passed her. “If crap gets real at your house, you call me.”

  “Please,” Rosie said with a laugh. “Mom’s gonna yell, and Dad is gonna fuss back, but he’s gonna be cleaning the whole time.” She started to follow Ronnie out the door and spun around. “I like you, Grandma. I hope we get to hang again soon.”

  A big smile spread across Chantal’s face. “I hope so because I like you too.”

  *******

  “I have to go soon,” Caleigh said as she cuddled with Blaze on the daybed. “I’m supposed to have dinner with Gram and Grandpa tonight.”

  “And you need to get some sleep because your first day at work is tomorrow.”

  “Don’t remind me.” Caleigh smiled when Blaze kissed the tip of her nose. “Will you have dinner with us sometime?” She noticed the slight arch in Blaze’s brow. “Gram wants to talk to you and make amends.”

  “I’m the one who needs to apologize to her.” Blaze rested her head on the pillow they shared. “Yes, I would like to have dinner with y’all.”

  Caleigh smiled. “Good.”

  “Wear pants and long sleeves when you’re around them until your rug burns heal.”

  “I’m pretty blunt with them, but I wouldn’t want to have to explain these injuries,” Caleigh said as she cracked up.

  “I’m putting a real bed up here. I’m gonna have to do something about that bathroom too, and that dog on the wall over there. I noticed that perverted mutt was looking at us last night like yeah.”

  “I know! I feel like his eyes follow me all over the room.”

  “Oh, yeah?” Blaze hopped off the bed, walked over to the appliqué, and ripped its head off.

  “Babe, we really have to talk about the decapitation thing you have going on,” Caleigh said with a snort.

  Chapter 15

  The next morning, Caleigh pulled into the parking lot of Falcon Shipyard. She gave herself a pep talk as she parked and switched off the engine of her car. “Quit being nervous, you’ve got this.” She stared at herself in the rearview mirror. “Seriously, get a grip. You’re replacing a guy who ate crayons, and at least you never did that.” She looked around to make sure no one saw her talking to herself. Before she got out of her car, she took one last look at the text Blaze sent her earlier that morning.

  Have a great day. I know you’re gonna WOW the shit out of them.

  “I hope you’re right, babe,” Caleigh said and dropped her phone into her purse. She got out of her car and walked to the main building, hoping her confident façade belied the nervousness she felt inside.

  “Caleigh Breaux?” a man called out to her as she neared the door.

  “Yes?”

  “I’m Sam Watts,” he said as he stubbed his cigarette out and dropped it into a receptacle.

  “Oh, hello.” Caleigh walked over to her new supervisor.

  “I’m trying to quit smoking, but I had a stressful morning. My dryer caught on fire,” Sam explained as he pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket and squirted some into his palm. “I think it started in the lint trap that no one can seem to remember to clean.” He scrubbed his hands together briskly and held one out to Caleigh. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

  “A pleasure to meet you too,” Caleigh said with a smile as they shook hands.

  “I’ll take you in and introduce you to a bunch of p
eople, and you’ll probably forget all their names, but I made you an organizational chart to help with that.” Sam smiled as he opened the door to the lobby for Caleigh and followed her inside. “You’ll do paperwork you’re all too familiar with, then you’ll get an ID badge. You’ll be able to swipe that at the side doors so you won’t have to hoof it all the way to the front of the building. After lunch, we’ll meet with some of the department heads, so they can familiarize you with our operations. First, I’ll take you to meet your staff. Are you nervous?”

  “A little, does it show?” Caleigh asked as Sam led her to the elevator.

  Sam glanced at her. “Not at all. I didn’t sit in on your interview, but I did see the video later. You killed it.” He pushed a button and gestured for Caleigh to go ahead of him when the doors to the elevator car opened. “Everybody loves your grandfather, and we were thrilled to get another Breaux.”

  “I hope I live up to his reputation,” Caleigh said as the elevator doors closed.

  “My instincts tell me you will. Falcon is a family-owned company, and generations of Darvons have been at the helm. They foster a family atmosphere. You’ll fit right in and feel at home.” Sam sucked his teeth when the elevator suddenly stopped. “We’re stuck between floors, but it’ll start up again soon.”

  “Has it ever…dropped to the bottom?” Caleigh asked with a frown.

  “Not this month.” Sam laughed when Caleigh looked at him. “No, never. It began sticking recently for some reason. You’ll see a memo that says they’re gonna overhaul it next week, so you’ll have to take the stairs for a few days. This gives us a great opportunity to talk privately. You and I are related. I’ve been with my partner for eleven years, and we’re raising his son together. No one at this company has ever shown me or Dylan any disrespect. You might not be so lucky because I’ve heard you’re dating Blaze Sonnier.”

  Caleigh was taken aback. “Did Gramp—my grandfather—tell you that?”