Blissfully Blindsided

by Robin Alexander

“No, but two of Blaze’s employees are married to people who work here. Gossip gets around fast. I’m talking to you sibling to sibling, you follow?”

  “Yes,” Caleigh said with a nod.

  “I don’t know Blaze personally. I didn’t grow up here. I do know Blaze has some enemies, and one of them is VP of admin operations, Cooper Kassirer. I’ve heard Cooper and Blaze hate each other. You won’t have to deal with Cooper directly very often, but I felt like you should be forewarned.”

  Caleigh nodded. “Thank you.”

  Sam was quiet for a moment. “He’s an asshole. Expect him to make sly remarks about Blaze without using her name, so it won’t appear to anyone else he’s talking about her. He wants to see how you react, and if he knows you’re sensitive about something, he’ll zero in on that.”

  “Do you know why they hate each other?”

  “I heard she ran over him with her car while he was at an ATM on his bike,” Sam said with a smile. “A lot of people around here would’ve paid to see that. The elevator has decided to move again, so that concludes our conversation that never happened.”

  “Thank you, Sam.” Caleigh stored what she’d learned in the back of her mind.

  *******

  “I think all truckers have hemorrhoids,” Carey said when Blaze answered her call. “I’m bouncing so much in this truck something’s breaking loose in my butthole.”

  “She’s so dramatic,” TJ said with a laugh.

  Blaze laughed too. “I’m glad y’all have me on speaker, so I can hear both of you bitch.”

  “I’m going first,” TJ declared. “My assistant has been sleeping most of the time since we hit the road yesterday morning. When she wakes up, she wants to eat, and she tries to make me stop at every place she finds interesting. The fact I have a schedule to keep doesn’t register.”

  “I was promised I’d see some sights, but they all go by at sixty-five miles an hour because that’s as fast as this damn truck will go,” Carey complained. “It takes us forever to pass another truck, and I get to sit here and wave at everyone who flips us off.”

  “My regular truck is in the shop, and they scraped the bottom of the barrel when they found this one as a replacement. We want to know about Caleigh, what’s going on with her?” TJ asked.

  Blaze went into her office and closed the door. “She’s amazing. I’ve had to cancel two dates with her, and she came to my house instead. She never complains, she just rolls with whatever is happening. She’s a lot of fun, and I’m crazy about her already.”

  “We better be invited to the wedding,” TJ said with a laugh. “Be sure to get with me on my schedule before you plan anything.”

  “Aw, shit, TJ’s done put a jinx on you. The next time we talk to you, you’ll be telling us you lopped the head off Caleigh’s garden gnomes. Does she have gnomes?” Carey asked.

  “I don’t behead. You know that was an isolated incident. I don’t know if she has gnomes because I haven’t been to her house yet.” Blaze sat on the corner of her desk. “The first time we were supposed to go out, Chantal did a face plant on the kitchen floor, and I had to go to the hospital with her. Caleigh and I were gonna go out Saturday, but Ronnie was having a crisis at my house, and we had to stay with her.”

  “What’s wrong with Ronnie?” TJ asked.

  “Clint and early menopause.”

  TJ groaned. “Poor baby.”

  “What’s Caleigh think of Chantal?” Carey asked.

  “She thinks Chantal genuinely wants to make amends.” Blaze sighed. “Chantal has actually been kinda good for Ronnie. She’s acting like a mother.”

  “What do you think?” Carey and TJ asked in unison.

  “I don’t know what to think,” Blaze said. “She’s being there for Ronnie, and I guess for now, I’m good with that. If I forget she’s the mother that walked out on us, Chantal is kinda likeable.”

  “Don’t fall for it,” Carey said gruffly. “You keep your guard up around that woman.”

  “She already has her guard up. Caleigh might be right about Chantal, so don’t make Blaze any more paranoid than she is,” TJ said.

  “Is this the part where you two argue like I’m not—”

  “The woman has already lied to get into Blaze’s house,” Carey retorted. “Only a fool would think she’s on the up and up.”

  “Oh, I know you’re not calling me a fool, Carey. I’ll bounce you off that seat and into the roof of this truck,” TJ snapped.

  Blaze scrunched up her face when she heard Carey say, “You know I think it’s sexy when you threaten me. Now you’ve got me wanting to skip lunch and spend some time with you in that sleeper compartment.”

  TJ laughed. “You’re gonna wait for that until we get to Momma’s house.”

  “I can’t get turned on in your momma’s house. She still hates me for being white,” Carey whined.

  “She doesn’t hate you, she’s still suffering with shock. First, I told her I was in love with a woman who is ten years older than me, then I hit her with you being white,” TJ said. “I’m lucky she didn’t have a stroke.”

  Carey grunted. “We’ve been together a long time, she should’ve come to terms with that by now.”

  “How long? How long have we been a couple, and when is our anniversary?” TJ asked.

  Carey sounded as though her mouth was next to the speaker when she whispered, “Blaze, when is our anniversary?”

  “Uh-huh,” TJ yelled, and the call ended abruptly.

  Blaze stuffed her phone into her shirt pocket. “Oh, Carey, you aren’t gonna be getting into that sleeper with TJ anytime soon.”

  “I don’t think anybody fed the hummingbirds this year,” Blaze said as she steadily removed feeders from a shelf and loaded them onto a cart. She grimaced when Billie waved a hand in front of the motion detector of a two-foot witch that started cackling and waving its broom. “Billie, you’re killing me with those things.”

  “I was trying to figure out which witch was activated for the display. Can you imagine the ruckus when someone walked down this aisle and all the witches’ switches were on?” Billie asked with a grin, then screamed when a bug flew past her face.

  “What’s with all the horseflies in here?” Blaze asked. “Shouldn’t they have died out already?”

  “Blaze, you’re in the South, honey. Bugs don’t die here, they go deep in the woods and mate with animals and come back bigger.” Billie held up her right hand. “I swear I saw a mosquito with a steer’s horn on its head the other night.”

  “After how many margaritas?” Blaze put another armload of hummingbird feeders on the cart to make room for the rest of the Halloween decorations.

  “Only one, but I was drinking out of the pitcher,” Billie said. “I’m gonna go empty this cart, and I’ll bring it back before I go home for the day.” As she walked away, the motion sensor on the witch picked up the movement and started cackling. “Sorry, Blaze.”

  Blaze glanced at her watch and was surprised to see it was after five o’clock, and she hadn’t heard from Caleigh, who promised to let her know about her first day at work. Blaze started setting plastic tombstones on a shelf, and a horsefly buzzed past her ear. “Oh, you’re gonna die,” she said lowly when the winged menace flew in an arc and headed straight for her again.

  She grabbed a tombstone and started swinging it wildly with the intent of knocking the horsefly into the stratosphere until she felt it connect with something. Blaze whirled around and watched in horror as Caleigh staggered backward and slammed into the shelves holding the witches. They rained down around Caleigh as she sank to the floor looking dazed.

  “Oh, my God!” Blaze screamed and dropped to the floor next to Caleigh. “How bad are you hurt?”

  “I hit my head on…something.” Caleigh stared at Blaze with unfocused eyes. “Are you laughing at me?”

  “No.” Blaze slapped the cackling witch away from them. “Somebody call 911!” she yelled and breathed in deeply to quell the panic rising inside
of her. “Just be still, okay?”

  Caleigh squinted at Blaze and frowned. “Stop laughing…I’m hurt.”

  “Caleigh, I’m not—shut up, bitch!” Blaze yelled and threw a tombstone at the witch that was still cackling and waving its broom.

  Billie ran over to them with a phone to her ear. “I have 911,” she said breathlessly and listened to something the operator was saying. “Yes, she’s breathing, but I don’t know about conscious. She’s just kinda staring into space and blinking really slow. Blaze, did she fall?”

  “Yeah, after I clocked her with a tombstone! Tell them to stop asking questions and send an ambulance now!”

  Billie was steadily nodding with the phone next to her ear. “He already has one en route, Blaze. What?” she asked the operator. “No, that’s not the woman who’s hurt, it’s a witch. I think it’s either broken or possessed because it won’t stop laughing.” She looked stunned when Blaze grabbed the witch and started banging it on the floor until parts flew off it. “Can the paramedics sedate people if they’re really upset?”

  Chapter 16

  Blaze stopped pacing and ran to Ronnie, who hurried into the emergency room waiting area. She pointed to the doors of the emergency department. “I need you to go back there and find out what’s going on!”

  “Why aren’t you back there with Caleigh?” Ronnie asked.

  “I’m upset, so my memory is kinda sketchy, but I may have yelled at the doctor for not moving fast enough. Some woman as big as Carey from security carried me out here and slammed me in a chair. She told me to stay still.” Blaze scrubbed at her face with both hands as her eyes watered. “I hit her so hard with that tombstone, and she’s little, you know? She flew into the shelving and hit her head. That damn witch kept laughing, and she thought it was me. She really thought it was me.”

  “Is she making any sense now?” Chantal rolled up to them, breathing heavily.

  Ronnie shook her head. “Not much more than she did on the phone. I want you to make Blaze sit down. I’m gonna go check on Caleigh.”

  Blaze grabbed Ronnie’s arm when she started to walk away. “Will you call Edie and Dean? I don’t know how to tell them I may’ve killed their granddaughter.”

  “I already did.” Ronnie pried Blaze’s grip from her arm. “Listen to me, you overexaggerate when you’re upset. When Edie and Dean get here, please do not tell them you may’ve killed Caleigh, or you’ll cause them to have heart attacks.” She turned her attention to Chantal. “Don’t let her talk to anybody until I get back.”

  “I hit her with a tombstone, and her little body just flew,” Blaze said tearfully to Chantal as Ronnie walked away.

  “Let’s sit.” Chantal motioned to a couple of empty chairs. “Come on.”

  Blaze followed Chantal, and they both took a seat. “I will hate horseflies forever,” Blaze said with a sniff.

  “Why did you have a tombstone, and how were you able to swing it and hit her?” Chantal set a hand on Blaze’s shoulder.

  Blaze stared at Chantal until she realized Chantal thought she’d been wielding a real one. “It was a decoration made out of hard plastic.”

  “That’s good news,” Chantal said soothingly. “I doubt plastic would be hard enough to cause a serious injury.”

  “Yeah, but she flew.” Blaze gritted her teeth when she said, “I killed that laughing witch.”

  “That’s what happens to you when you take drugs,” a woman sitting in the row of seats across from them said to her young son.

  Chantal glanced at them and rubbed Blaze’s shoulder. “Was she conscious?” she asked Blaze softly.

  “Kinda. She was awake, but it was like she was looking through me. I didn’t mean to hit her. I was trying to kill a horsefly.” Blaze sniffed. “She thought I was laughing at her, but it was the witch.”

  The little boy looked up at his mom and whispered, “You said witches weren’t real.”

  “They aren’t, the ones in her head are just real to her. You do drugs, you see witches.” The woman got up and took the boy by the hand. They moved to the other side of the room.

  “You’re panting, honey.” Chantal stroked Blaze’s hair. “Take a deep breath and let it out. That’ll help you relax.”

  “I really like Caleigh.” Blaze inhaled deeply and exhaled with a whimper. “It was her first day at Falcon, and she’s probably gonna miss work now. I won’t blame her if she doesn’t want to see me again. This year has sucked ass! Bunnies, horseflies, and witches. I’m living in some messed-up alternate version of The Wizard of Oz. A monkey is gonna fly in here and carry you off any second. You better move away from me.”

  “Ronnie’s coming back.”

  Blaze jumped up. “Is she okay?”

  “Dr. Carter says she’s showing the signs and symptoms of having a concussion, and she’s on her way to have a CT scan.” Ronnie put her hand on Blaze’s shoulder when her eyes filled with tears. “She said to tell you the horsefly better be dead. She’s still got her sense of humor,” Ronnie said with a reassuring smile. “She’s gonna be just fine, and Dr. Carter forgives you for calling him a ‘slimy, trail-leaving, stupid-ass slug. You got creative on that one.”

  “Oh, God, there’s Edie and Dean,” Blaze said as she watched them rush into the room. “They’re gonna kill me and have heart attacks.”

  Dean went straight to the patient information desk, and Edie walked over to Ronnie and Blaze looking pale. “What was she hit with? What’s going on? Where is she?” she asked rapid-fire.

  Blaze began blurting out, “Tombstone and a horsefly—”

  “Let me talk,” Ronnie said firmly and softened her tone for Edie.

  “Mayhem here accidentally hit Caleigh with a plastic tombstone and caused her to bang the back of her head on a shelf in the store. Dr. Carter suspects she has a concussion, and she’s having a CT scan now. I just saw her, she’s alert, and she was even cracking jokes,” Ronnie explained.

  “I have a lot of insurance because we run into stuff on the forklift all the time.” Blaze raised her right hand. “All her bills will be paid, I swear. I know you want to kill me, so just go ahead.”

  “Honey, it was an accident. No one wants to kill you.” Edie released a heavy sigh. “I’ll hold off on calling my son until we get the results. I see no need to throw Will and Karen into a panic and have them drive crazy to get here.” She looked around. “Did anyone see where Dean went?”

  “He went into the emergency room,” Chantal said.

  Edie smiled. “Hello, Chantal, it’s nice to see you again. I would love to stay and talk, but I really want to be with Caleigh right now.”

  “You can check in at the desk, and they’ll let you wait in her room until she gets back,” Ronnie said. “She’ll come back to bay three when they finish in imaging.”

  “I’ll do that because there’s no telling what Dean is doing back there.” Edie smiled at Blaze. “Why don’t you come with me?”

  “She can’t. Only two people are allowed in the ER bays.” Ronnie smiled sardonically. “She was a little demanding when she was back there and got herself thrown out. I’ll have to be with her when she goes.”

  “I see. I’ll be back soon,” Edie said before she quickly walked away.

  “Caleigh does know I was thrown out and didn’t just leave her, right?” Blaze asked Ronnie.

  “Everybody on this floor knows you got thrown out.” Ronnie nodded. “Oh, yes, she knows. And hey, thanks a lot for letting everyone know you’re my sister at the top of your lungs.”

  “You’re welcome,” Blaze said dully.

  Ronnie sat. “Y’all get comfortable, we’re gonna have a little wait.”

  “I was just trying to see my baby!” Dean exclaimed as he was escorted out of the emergency room by the same security guard who had dealt with Blaze.

  The guard led Dean by the arm over to a chair and pointed at it. “You sit here, or you sit in a jail cell.”

  Dean sat and squinted at the guard’s nametag. “Mel
anie, are you related to Carey Dunn?”

  “No, sir.”

  “Are you sure? You both have the same giant bodies and steel grips.” Dean rubbed his arm. “I think you bruised me.”

  “I didn’t mean to do that, but you should’ve come out of your hiding place when I told you to. Sir, I know you’re upset, but when hospital staff tells you you’re not supposed to be somewhere, it’s for your safety and the safety of the patients. Now I’m not gonna call the police on you if you sit out here and calm down. You are not to go back there again until I say so. Is that understood?” Melanie asked.

  Dean’s brow furrowed as he stared up at her. “I wasn’t hiding. I told you I was looking for the quarter I dropped, and I got stuck between the drink machine and the wall.”

  “Sir, do you understand what I just told you?” Melanie asked again testily.

  “Just say yes,” Blaze whispered loudly, and Ronnie sank deep into her chair.

  Dean turned and spotted Ronnie sitting next to Blaze. “That’s Ronnie Corbin, she’s a bigwig at this hospital, and she knows me. She’s gonna tear your ass up for bruising me, Carey Junior.”

  “Everybody I know has lost their damn minds,” Ronnie complained and stood. She walked over to Melanie with her hands raised in surrender. “I’m not a bigwig, I just work in administration. I’m so sorry my family has given you a hard time this evening.”

  “He was up in imaging and wouldn’t leave the room,” Melanie explained. “I finally got him outta there, and he took off and hid in the vending area. I didn’t mean to be rough with him, but I couldn’t let him hide because I knew he’d go back to where he didn’t belong. Your sister kept running circles around me screaming, and I finally just had to grab her. They really didn’t give me much of a choice.”

  Blaze waved a hand. “Heat of the moment, so sorry about that.”

  “Oh, dear God.” Ronnie clasped her hands together as though she was praying. “Again, I’m so sorry. My sister was upset because she thought she caused her girlfriend brain damage. As for Dean…well, I don’t know what he was thinking, but I will keep them in line.”

  “Can I go back now?” Dean asked.