Second Goal

by Seabrook, C. M.

  “She didn’t?”

  “No. And I could see the murder in his eyes. The need to cause pain. Not just physical, but emotional. He would have killed Lucy just to hurt me. So when he turned his back and started for her, I struck him over the head with a bat.” She hesitates before continuing, “He just dropped. And there was blood. So much blood.”

  “It was self-defense.”

  “I know.” Her gaze meets mine and she nods as if accepting the truth for the first time. “But Amy started yelling at me, telling me Cruz would kill me when he got home. She told me to leave. So I did. I left them.” She stands up and she looks shaky as she walks to the window.

  “You were scared.”

  “I left them,” she repeats, voice hollow. “I should have demanded that she come with me, but I was only thinking about myself. I knew something bad would happen if I left them, and I still ran. I was a coward.”

  “Kiley, it wasn’t your—”

  “She died.” Her voice is a hollow whisper. “Lucy died because I wasn’t there to take care of her. And I didn’t even know. Not until Cruz tracked me down months later and told me. She had pneumonia...”

  I stand behind Kiley and pull her into my arms so that her back is against my chest. I want to tell her everything will be alright, but the truth is, I’m not sure how someone recovers from something like this. And I don’t know how to convince her that none of it was her fault.

  “I know you’re not going to believe me right now, but whatever guilt you think you have, it’s a lie, sweetheart.”

  She doesn’t respond.

  “This friend, Amy, where is she now?”

  “Still with Cruz. That’s why I went today. I have to help her. But Cruz has her brainwashed or something. She’s too afraid of him to leave.”

  I inhale a heavy breath. “And he’s blackmailing you?”

  She nods. “It got worse when he found out about Kane being my brother.”

  I press my lips to the top of her head. “We’ll figure this out.”

  “He’s threatened to go to the police. To tell them about Ezra.”

  “Then we’ll get you the best lawyers we can. You’re not the villain, Kiley.”

  She spins in my arms. “Did you hear anything I just told you?”

  “Every word.” I cup her face. “And I’m telling you that you’re not to blame. Not for Lucy. Not for Amy. And not for the fucker who hurt you.”

  She exhales, her body finally melting into mine.

  “I know what it’s like to blame yourself for something you can’t control.”

  “But I could control it. That’s the difference. I’m the one who let Amy take my place with that guy. I’m the one who let her start using drugs. I’m the one who left Lucy when she needed me. And I’m the one who took a life. That’s who I am.” Tears pour down her cheeks. “That’s who I’ll always be.”

  “No.” I force her to look at me. “I see you, Kiley. The real you. I always have. And I see a woman with a heart so big she doesn’t realize how good she actually is. I see a girl who was hurt way too many times and had to suffer through horrible things that no one should have to go through. I see a person who tried desperately to save the people she loved, and couldn’t. And I see a warrior who fought to survive.” I press my lips against hers and taste the saltiness of her tears. “I see you, Kiley.”

  She sags against me, her tears not stopping. I pick her up and carry her to my bedroom, lying down beside her, and letting her cry. I just hold her, my brain scrambling with all the things she told me, the protective part of me trying to figure out how to fix this so it won’t come back on her.

  But I know this isn’t something that’ll go away. Even if Cruz doesn’t go to the police, this will always hang over her head, unless I find a way to fix it. So when I feel her breathing change and know she’s finally cried herself to sleep, I get out of bed and start making some calls.

  The first one is to Kane.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kiley

  “You’re telling us everything?” My brother glares at me from across the room, blue eyes icy, and I shiver under his scrutiny.

  Sitting on the couch in Kane and Brynne’s living room, I nod, pulling a blanket tight around my shoulders and curling my knees to my chest.

  My brother’s jaw clenches, his lips a thin line of tension. “If there’s even one detail you’re leaving out—”

  “There’s nothing else.” My throat still hurts from Cruz squeezing it yesterday, and my voice doesn’t sound like my own.

  “I’m serious, Kiley.” The anger in Kane’s eyes is undeniable. He takes a few menacing steps toward me. “If there’s anything you’re leaving out—”

  “She said she told you everything.” Blake steps in front of him, his voice hard, but controlled.

  Brynne sits beside me and squeezes my hand. “It’ll be alright.”

  I hear Kane’s heavy sigh, and I know he’s not so certain.

  Noah toddles up to me and hands me a half-eaten, soggy cookie. “Kai-ee, cookie. Up. Up,” he says, lifting his arms in the air for me to pick him up. “Go park.”

  “It’s time for your nap,” Brynne says, standing.

  “No.” He starts to dart away, but she manages to catch him. “Go park. Now. Kai-ee.” Noah squirms in her arms, reaching for me.

  “Not today, buddy,” I tell him. And after everything Kane and Brynne now know about me, I doubt they’ll ever let me take him again.

  Brynne carries Noah to his room, despite his whines of protest. And I try my best not to succumb to the numbness that wants to envelop me. But it’s difficult not to fall into that dark hole where fear and pain are dulled by nothingness.

  Kane and Blake are talking in low tones. And from the fierceness in my brother’s expression when he looks at me and the look of warning Blake gives him, I know they’re arguing.

  It would have been so much easier to run away from this. But at least I’m no longer hiding. They all know who I am now. All the ugliness of my past exposed.

  When Blake takes a call, Kane walks over to the large floor to ceiling window and looks out. He shoves his hands in his pant pockets and I can see the tension in his shoulders.

  “I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I didn’t mean to bring you into my mess. You and Brynne have been so good to me, and I’ve done nothing but cause trouble.”

  He turns, those blue eyes, the same color as my own, study me. “Brynne told me what you said, about you thinking I hate you.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. “And I get why you think that. I’ve been hard on you since we met.” He shakes his head and exhales.

  “I understand why.”

  “I don’t think you do. It’s just...” His expression tightens. “You just look so much like our mother.”

  And I’ve disappointed him just as much.

  “I hated her for a long time for not being what I needed,” he says. “I’d thought I got over it. Until I saw you. God, the first time I saw your face, I felt like I was eight years old again.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “For what?” He frowns, turning fully to me. “Being born to a woman who was too fucked up to take care of you? Or are you sorry that you got thrown into a broken system that failed you?” He rubs the back of his neck and sits down beside me. “Look, I’m not always easy to get along with. But I care about you, Kiley. And I’m going to do everything I can to help you.”

  He takes my hand, and I think it might be the first time he’s ever shown any real affection. It surprises me, and I suck in a breath.

  “You’re family,” he says. “No matter how much of an ass I can be, that never changes.”

  Tears build in my eyes and I swear something cracks in my chest. It hurts, but in a good way. Like maybe a piece of me is healing. I wrap my arms around my brother’s neck, no doubt shocking us both. He hesitates slightly, then hugs me back.

  Someone coughs and when I pull away, both Brynne and Blake are watching us, small smi
les playing on their lips.

  I swipe at the tears on my cheek.

  Kane stands, clearing his throat. “So what do we do now?”

  “I called my lawyer and I have someone looking into the police reports,” Blake says.

  Kane starts to talk again, but their words feel muffled. And when Brynne sits beside me, placing a hand around my shoulders, I lean into her hug.

  “I’m sorry I brought you into this.”

  “I just wish you would have told us sooner, so we could have helped you.” Brynne gives me a soft smile, eyes full of acceptance and love. I still don’t think I deserve either, but I accept it, needing it now more than ever. “And we’ll help your friend any way we can.”

  “Thank you.” I squeeze her hand. “But I don’t know if Amy even wants my help. The way she looked at me...” For the longest time, she was the closest thing to family I had. But it was like talking to a stranger yesterday.

  “Our plane leaves in a few hours,” Blake says, taking my hands and helping me stand. I’d almost forgotten that they have an away game tomorrow. “Hate leaving you right now. I don’t want you being alone.”

  “You can stay with me if you want,” Brynne says.

  “I’ll be fine. I’m only a few floors down, and I have Pax and Lady to keep me company.”

  Blake’s lips thin. “I don’t want you leaving the building.”

  I start to argue, but Kane interrupts me, “Blake’s right, Kiley. This Cruz guy is obviously capable of anything. I understand why you don’t want to press charges against the bastard right now. But—”

  “I’ll be fine,” I repeat.

  All three of them keep watching me, and I can see the uncertainty in their eyes. And even as we leave Kane and Brynne’s apartment, I can feel the tension radiating off of Blake.

  “I know you’re upset that I told them,” he says when we’re back at his place. “But Kane needed to know.”

  “I’m not angry.” And I’m not. “In a way, I’m kind of relieved.” I shrug. “Even if it means going to jail—”

  “I’m not going to let that happen.” He cups my face, gray eyes searching mine. “I promise you. I’ll protect you, no matter what.”

  There’s a fierceness to his words that fill me with a sense of hope. Confidence. Love.

  But even though I know I still have to face what I did, I feel like it won’t be as impossible to get through now.

  I’d believed that my past made me unredeemable.

  I’m not so sure about that anymore.

  Maybe there’s still a way for me to have a real future. Not one that’s bound by the things I’ve done.

  Because of Blake.

  I’ve never had anyone believe in me. No one that’s ever fought for me.

  Until him.

  And that nagging feeling that was always my companion, the sense that my world is about to be ripped apart, it’s not as strong as it used to be. My fear is muted by hope.

  “I love you.” The words slip out before I realize I’m saying them.

  Blake draws back. Just slightly, but it’s enough to make me realize I made a big mistake. But then his lips are on mine, his kiss swallowing the words that linger between us.

  Flames spread through my body, even as my heart sinks in my chest.

  Tell me you love me back, I want to shout.

  His hands are on me, stripping me until I’m fully exposed. Body, heart, and soul. I’ve given him everything, and even though I know in this moment that it’s only one way, I don’t regret telling him the truth.

  I love him.

  A shiver races through me, because I know it’s going to destroy me when this ends. And it will end. I saw the truth in his eyes. His need to protect me dueling with his need to protect his own heart. I was a fool to think someone like him would ever truly love someone like me.

  Bullshit, a voice born of the hope he’s given me cries out. You deserve to be loved.

  “Blake.” I place my hand on his bare chest, hard, heavy muscles flexing beneath my palm. “I promise, no more secrets.”

  He nods, but his brows draw down, and a small frown tugs at his lips, like he doesn’t believe me.

  “We tell each other the truth,” I say.

  He nods.

  I ask the question that’s been lingering in my mind. The one that keeps nagging at me, even though I’m not sure I want to know the answer. “How did you know where I was yesterday?”

  “I tracked your phone,” he says unapologetically. “I put an app on it so I can see where you are. I should have told you, but I’m not sorry. If I hadn’t followed you—”

  “You didn’t trust me.” That’s the brutal truth.

  He winces. “No. I didn’t. But I’m trying to, Kiley.”

  I know I don’t deserve his trust. Not after everything I’ve done. But I also know that there’s no hope for us if he can’t trust me. I hesitate before asking, “What’s going to happen with... us?”

  His right eye twitches. “I don’t know. But I promise I’ll protect you in all of this. I won’t hurt you. And I won’t let anyone else hurt you. I know that’s not the answer you want right now, but—”

  “I asked for honesty.” Even if it’s a truth I don’t want to face - a future without him. I always knew that was how this would end. But thinking about it now causes a cold shiver to rush down my spine.

  “Come here.” He pulls me closer, his kiss shattering my defenses. His lips possess mine, tongue stroking, teeth nipping until my fears are forgotten.

  He lifts me up, carrying me to his bedroom, then lowering me to the mattress. His touch numbs my insecurities. He strips completely, and my throat constricts when I take him in. Muscles flex as he kneels between my legs, his head lowering until his mouth brushes over my collarbone, his tongue licking a path across my flesh.

  His kisses draw a whimper from my lips, and I arch toward him as his mouth covers my nipple. The bud throbs in pleasure as he sucks and licks, making my pussy ache. Calloused fingers stroke over my belly, across my hips, then spread my thighs wider, giving his expert fingers access to my entrance.

  As his fingers slip inside me, one, two, three, exquisite pleasure begins to rock through me, rapture building quickly. I lift my hips, needing more, my clit aching with an intense demand.

  I may not hold his heart, but I can have his body. And right now, that’s enough.

  Liar.

  It has to be enough. Because despite all the uncertainties that lie ahead of me, he’s my anchor. The one thing that’s kept me grounded.

  What am I going to do when I don’t have him anymore? Because everything... EVERYTHING... good always gets taken away.

  I don’t realize I’ve closed my eyes until he demands, “Look at me, Kiley.”

  Blinking, I hold his gaze, not sure what I see there. The one thing I recognize is the same desperation that burns through me.

  “Make love to me,” I beg.

  His nostrils flare, and then he’s sinking inside of me, working his heavy cock deep into my pussy. A cry of pleasure leaves my lips, and Blake groans, his eyes drifting closed briefly. But then he starts to move, and those gray eyes are trained on me as he slowly pulls out, then glides back in.

  Eyes and body locked, we find our rhythm. I’d warned my heart not to lose myself in him, but it’s already too late. I’m not sure I ever had any choice. And now with all my secrets exposed, I know I’ve never been so vulnerable in my life.

  He has the power I’ve never given to anyone.

  A lot of people have hurt me in the past. The bruises on my face and throat are proof of that. But not even Ezra or Cruz could hurt me the way I know Blake can.

  I love him.

  Completely.

  “Blake,” I whimper. “I...”

  He presses his forehead to mine, each thrust driving my body closer to rapture. “I know.” His mouth is back on mine, this time more demanding. Rougher. Pure, male hunger.

  Each hard thrust deepens the emotion
s swirling inside of me. Sizzling flames seem to spread across my flesh with each stroke of his cock. He buries himself deeper, filling me until the pleasure is almost agonizing.

  I need to focus on the pleasure. I can’t think about the unsaid words between us.

  I love you.

  Love me.

  Please.

  “Please,” I cry out as my senses explode, and my breath catches in my chest. Tremors race through my body, an explosion of ecstasy that has me jerking, my pussy clenching.

  Blake comes at the same time, and I feel the throb of his cock, the pulse of his cum releasing at the back of my womb.

  Gazes locked, I swear I see the words he didn’t speak in his eyes. But then he blinks, and a curse rumbles from his lips. He pulls back, and when I feel the slick semen on my thighs, I understand the panic in his voice when he swears, “Shit, Kiley. I’m sorry.”

  I swallow, slowly sitting up and pulling the blankets around me. “It’s okay.”

  Except I know it’s not. I see the fear resurface in his eyes.

  “Fuck,” he curses again, pulling at his hair.

  “You don’t have to worry.” Suddenly, there’s a fortress around my heart, and words tumble from my mouth like weapons, “I’m not going to trap you into being with me by having your kid.” I stand and start toward the bathroom, but he gets to me before I can shut the door.

  “That’s not... Kiley, stop.” He rubs his temple, eyes closing, then says, roughly, “I’m sorry.”

  “About what?” I look up at him, but what I see in his expression only confirms what I know. “That you regret this thing between us? Or about you still not trusting me? Or... that you don’t love me the way I love you?”

  His expression hardens. “I never said that.”

  “Do you deny it?”

  He hesitates, and in that one second, I feel my heart shatter.

  “It doesn’t matter,” I spit out, letting anger mute the pain I feel.

  When I try to move away, he doesn’t let me. One hand tangles in my hair and he rests his forehead against mine. “I care about you more than I’ve ever cared about anyone, Kiley.”

  “You have a plane to catch,” I say stonily. I know his words should bring some sort of ease, but they don’t. I want more than just his protection, I want his heart.