by Robin Leaf
Every. Night. It’s getting old.
Another thing: Noah has called more often lately, not to report anything, just checking in. At first, I thought it was simply to check on my progress since he knows that the doctors are keeping a close watch on me. I told him the truth. The progression is minimal, less than one percent difference each month, but he continued to call.
Which means something’s up.
The best thing about Noah is his ability to keep his mouth shut, but it’s also the most infuriating thing about him. I know him well, though. If there’s something he feels I need to know, he finds a way to clue me in. Calling as often as he did threw up a HUGE red flag.
So I did some digging. I took the carefully laid trail of breadcrumbs he left and pieced together that he wanted me to check where Darla has been.
As an investor in Noah’s company, I have access to the whereabouts of their company vehicles. So I checked, making me feel like the stalker Darla once accused me of being. Fionn checked out a car that was parked at a fertility clinic for almost an hour. Fionn is almost exclusively assigned to Darla.
Did this mean that she is thinking of having a child?
Right then, I felt that twinge in my chest at the thought of a pregnant Darla. This was not the same as the twinge I had before. This was more like a tug at my soul. I allowed my mind to run wild with the possibilities. Of Darla having MY child. Of us, living together, raising our child… together. Finally getting everything I’ve ever wanted.
It’s the only way it should happen.
I have wasted so many years without her. I am miserable, sitting on the outside watching her while she lives her life.
A life she is living without me.
Of course, that was my choice. But that was before.
Before I stared at that screen, looking at the whereabouts of that car, getting kicked in the gut by her desire to have a kid with Allison… and without me.
I don’t want to hurt Allison. I care about her; she is a sweet girl. She has been there for Darla when I couldn’t. But Allison has to know that she isn’t the one… she isn’t me. She has to realize that I am the one meant to be with Darla, who is the other half of my soul, the reason I exist.
My lungs fill with the possibilities. My life isn’t over, and at the rate I am progressing, it won’t be for a long time.
It is time. Time to go get my girl.
Darla wants to have a baby.
Well, she will, just not without me.
Looks like I’m adding several more things to my bucket list.
Thirty Seven
Darby
“Head Games” – Foreigner
“Babe, if you don’t chill out, I’m going to insist that you go home.”
Holding her clipboard to her chest in the middle of the VIP room’s private balcony, Allison huffed. “I just want everything to run smoothly for you, Darby.”
I hugged her. “Things will go just fine. But if I don’t see you having a good time, I won’t.” I grabbed one of the shots I ordered and handed it to her. “Here, take this… to loosen up a bit.”
She put her hand up and shook her head. “Darby, you know I hate to drink. Plus, with the appointment on Monday…”
I smiled. “I know. I’m not suggesting you get hammered. Just do one or two… to take the edge off.”
I’d already done a few, so I was feeling pretty good.
She reached out and took the shot glass, pulling it to her mouth. After one sniff and making a face, she downed it in one swallow, wincing as it burned down her throat.
“You okay?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she nodded to the glass. “That’s good.”
“It’s Patron, baby, of course it’s good.”
She smiled and grabbed another, shooting it down quickly.
“Watch it, they’ll sneak up on you.”
“That’s all I’m gonna do,” she turned to walk away and shot over her shoulder, “for now.”
“That’s my girl.”
“Happy birthday, Darby,” Riley announced, startling me, handing me a gift bag.
“I get a present? And here I was thinking that seeing this smile again was enough.”
I pulled Vanessa into a hug and whispered in her ear, “Thank you, and not for the present.” I noticed her blush and glance at Riley. “Wait…” I looked back and forth between them, both sharing knowing looks. “Oh my goddess, you two had sex!”
Okay, so maybe having four shots of tequila wasn’t such a good idea. It might as well be called “filter-be-gone.” The panic was evident on Vanessa’s face before she scurried away.
“Fuck, Riley! I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”
He smiled. “It’s fine, Darby. This is just the first time we’ve been in public. I think she’s a little gun shy.”
“Please apologize for me. I will later, but apparently, tequila destroys my ability to keep my thoughts to myself.”
He laughed. “I wasn’t aware you ever had that ability,” he teased before taking off in Vanessa’s direction.
Allison appeared and grabbed my hand. “You have a surprise waiting for you.”
I followed her to a table in the back, where I saw Noah standing with a goofy grin on his face. He shifted to the right, revealing the best present I could ever get. He stood, eying me up and down. If I wasn’t so excited, and a little tipsy, I probably would have registered the look on his face: hungry.
“Jase!” I screeched, jumping in his arms, burying my face in his neck, and breathing in his scent. My hands made it inside his jacket, feeling his hard back. I just might have let them travel down to his ass.
“Goddess, you feel so good.” Fuck, what was up with my voice? That sounded… evocative, sultry even. Damn me and my tequila-influenced, weak-ass filter. And my hands were still full of his ass.
He pulled me closer, and I felt him hard against me, making me instantly soak my panties. Fuck. I had to stop myself from climbing him like a tree, ripping off my panties, and finally sticking that beautiful cock inside me.
This is not good.
I pulled away and took a minute to soak him in, every inch of him, not getting enough of how good he looked. When my eyes made it back to his face, his smoldering smirk greeted me.
“I guess you like what you see?” he said so only I could hear.
I blushed, realizing I was making an obvious spectacle of myself in front of Allison.
I turned to her and grinned. “Babe, did you do this?”
She nodded, biting her lips. “I did. I know you haven’t seen him in ages, so I invited him.”
I lunged at her, mostly to hide the fact that I was turned on by Jase, and kissed her lips. “Thank you so much.”
“I’ll let you two visit,” she let go of me, “I need to go see why the appetizers aren’t here yet, but please remember to mingle.” With a brief kiss to my nose, she walked away, grabbing another shot.
I watched her disappear into the crowd, not wanting to turn around and face him. He knew I felt what happened to him when he hugged me. I knew he saw my hardened nipples and felt my breathing change. I knew he… knew.
I still want him.
His heat got closer. “Don’t,” I warned. Fingertips grazed my shoulder, moving my hair off my neck. Lips skimmed the skin right where my neck meets my shoulder.
“I can’t help it. You still look like every fantasy I’ve ever had, Darla Maize,” his deep voice almost whispered. “You remember when I said that before?”
Of course I remember. I remember every moment of that night.
Closing my eyes, I fell back into his chest. “Stop it, Jase,” I pleaded, but he knew my words were a lie.
I remembered we weren’t alone, so I opened my eyes to see if anyone was watching. A large, familiar back blocked my view. Noah appeared as if he was casually drinking his whiskey while standing in front of me, but his actual intent was to shield us from prying eyes.
Jase placed his hands on my upper arm
s to steady me, his head rested between my shoulder blades.
I almost missed the, “I’m sorry,” he whispered as he dropped his hands.
“Like Ally said, I need to mingle.” I turned to face him, stepping out of his reach and smiling tightly. “I’ll be back.”
Shots. I needed more shots.
Two shots more with Charlie and her minions, and I felt good… great even.
Two more with Anita, Brantly, and Dakota, who all three were still happily together, and we all four danced together.
Watching Riley dance? Now that was a highlight.
Hours passed. I almost forgot he was here.
Almost. The whole time, I felt his eyes on me.
Guilt slipped in, making me realize I hadn’t seen Allison in a while. So I searched the crowd.
I felt him slip in behind me, his warm scent surrounding me. “She’s over there.” I looked in the direction he pointed.
I had to blink, uncertain if it was to clear the blur from the tequila or to make sure what I was seeing was real. I knew I was pretty damn tipsy, but was I hallucinatingly tipsy?
Allison was on the dancefloor, her back plastered to a man. He ground into her from behind, his one hand wrapped around her upper thigh, dangerously close to indecently revealing her goods to the room, the other wrapped around her ribcage right under her breast, pulling her closer. She was not only enjoying it, she was encouraging it, guiding his hands by his wrists. Now, seeing something like this on a dancefloor in the middle of Los Angeles was not anything new by any means, but for Allison, it was not typical behavior. She whispered something in the man’s ear, and he nodded, and his hands moved higher.
The lights flashed to reveal the face of the man who held her. He was no one I recognized.
I felt Jase move closer so that his breath tickled my neck. A hand grasped my upper arm, while the other skimmed the back of my inner thigh.
“I’m surprised to see that you two still have an open relationship,” was whispered in my ear. I felt his hand move higher, his thumb grazing the elastic on the bottom of my underwear.
I gasped, closing my eyes, feeling everything all at once, really wanting to allow this to continue.
It was too much.
Ten years. Ten years of pent up sexual tension. Ten years of this push and pull.
Ten years of loving him, of him telling me no.
And he picks now to say yes, to want me.
Breaking his hold, I abruptly turned around to face him, tears filling my eyes. “We don’t.”
I saw the moment my words sunk in. The shocked expression on his face quickly morphed into one of… what was that? Guilt? Pity? Shame? I wasn’t exactly sure.
“Oh, fuck, Darla. I…” he shook his head. “I didn’t…” he looked down, “I’m so fucking sorry.”
I walked away, leaving him to choke on his fucking apology.
I’m sure he thought my tears were because of what I saw on that dancefloor. They weren’t. My tears burned my eyes because of what he was doing to me.
I wanted what I couldn’t have, just the same as always, and he threw it in my face. Taunting, teasing me with it.
Torturing me.
I looked in the mirror of the private bathroom in the VIP lounge, not exactly sure how I ended up there. I dabbed my eyes, willing the tears not to spill over. I had clarity, and it was absolute… freeing. Hell, my buzz was not even a tickle anymore.
“Enough,” I said to my reflection. “Enough of this shit.”
I squared my shoulders and exited the bathroom, marching straight to the dancefloor.
I found Ally draped over Bryan, who was awkwardly dancing with her.
“Allison,” I said sharply.
She lazily raised her head off Bryan’s shoulder. “Oh, heeeyyyy, Darbsilicious.” She reached out and pawed my face, hiccupping. “Darbsilicious. Ooohh, tha’s what I’m gonna call you… Darbsicalicious.” She giggled. “I likey my nickname for you.”
I looked to Bryan, who shrugged. “She’s drunk, Darby.”
“Yeah, I got that, Bryan.”
“I found her dancing with another guy…”
I grunted. “I also saw that.”
“So, I cut in before anything… bad happened. Fionn… urged that guy to leave the premises.” He smiled. “I’ve been keeping her… occupied. She is aggressive though. I tried to restrain her, but even drunk, she knows how to block my moves.”
She giggled again, nuzzling his neck. “Drunk Ally really licks Bryan.” She clumsily slapped her thigh. “Ha! Did you hear that?” She leaned into Bryan. “I said licks,” she licked his cheek, “when I really meant licks… er, likes.” She wrapped a leg around his thigh. “Wanna get me pregnant now, hot stuff? Ooohh, I know,” she grabbed at the button of his jeans, “let me touch your dick again.”
Drunk Ally was not quiet Ally.
“I’m sorry, Bryan,” I told him, noticing the uncomfortable look on his face.
He chuckled. “No worries, Darby. I know she’s not normally a drinker.”
“C’mon, Drunky Pants,” I said, grabbing her wrists. “Let’s get you home.”
“Ooohh, can Bryan take me? He can, air quote, violate me in the backseat.” She went to grab at him again, but I stopped her, pulling her into my arms. She pulled her head up to study my face, one eye closed like a pirate. “Would that finally make you jealous, Darbsicle-alayley?” She giggled again. “The way I get when I see you with…”
“Fionn,” I called when I spotted him. He trotted over to me. “Can you get her home and watch her until I get there?”
“Pbbbt. You’re no fun, Darbsilla,” she grumbled.
Fionn grinned. “Yeah, sure thing.”
He threw her arm over his shoulder and walked her out the back of the club where the car was parked.
“I’ve never seen her like this,” I explained to him. He just smiled.
I helped him load her into the car, making sure to place a plastic bucket, generously provided by the club, in her hands.
I kissed her cheek. “I’ll be home soon, Ally.”
“Okay,” she sat up wobbly and looked in my eyes. “Please don’t fuck him, Darbly.”
Confused, I asked, “Who?”
Her eyes rolled back and she fell back on the seat, out cold. I rolled her onto her side and closed the door.
“Don’t worry, Darby Lou, I’ll make sure she’s okay.” He side hugged me. “I’ve handled many a drunken sailor in my day, so one teeny-tiny girl should be no problem.”
I eyed him. “This teeny-tiny girl kicks your ass on a regular basis. And hey, I know you pass out from blood, so how are you with puke, you know, just in case?”
He narrowed his eyes. “Oh, for the love of Mike. For the last time… I. Did. Not. Pass. Out.”
He jumped in the car and started it. I waved, watching as they drove off.
I entered the club determined to find Bryan, but I ran into Riley and Vanessa who were leaving.
After Riley and I made a date for another pool-basketball game on Wednesday morning, I caught a glimpse of Jase, staring me down.
It fueled my fire. I needed a distraction so I didn’t walk over there and blast him to Hades.
Turning to Vanessa, I asked. “Can I see you alone for a minute.”
I locked eyes with Jase as she and I walked a few steps away, and I grabbed Vanessa’s hands to make sure she heard my words.
“I wanted to apologize personally for earlier. What I should have said was it’s obvious to me that you two are falling for each other.” I sighed. “The sex thing was really personal.”
“Like I told Riley, there is no need for you to apologize.” Vanessa smiled.
She was cute. Really cute. My initial assessment was proving correct: she was perfect for Riley. I couldn’t have hand-picked a better chick for him. But she was jumpy… edgy, like she was uncomfortable with how fast this was going. I warned Riley to take it slow, and I guess he didn’t listen. I had a feeling she would bol
t at the drop of a hat. I couldn’t let that happen.
Truth is I can’t let her hurt Riley as badly as Jase hurt me.
I took a second to calm myself so my words didn’t come out as harsh as I meant them.
“Well, I think you know I do love that guy over there,” I indicated Riley with my head. “I’m glad you came along, Vanessa. But something you may not know is that he isn’t one to take anything lightly.” I had to breathe to keep my emotions in check. “I can see he has really deep feelings for you, and I encourage it, but I also know what it means.”
I looked at Jase again, who was still staring, burning through me with his penetrating eyes.
Vanessa stammered. I turned my intense gaze to hers.
“It means you have the power to hurt him.”
She glanced Riley’s direction, looking back at me like she was about verbally kick my ass, which only proved my hypothesis. She really was perfect for him.
“That power goes both ways, Darby.”
I flinched before I pulled her into a hug. “Oh, gosh, I don’t want that at all, either, Vanessa.” I pulled back, not letting go of her arms. “Just please, please, take care of him. I don’t like it when he’s hurting.” Riley was watching us closely, so I smiled at him. “I like him like this.”
I waved to him as I walked away, trying to remember what I was going to do before running into the two of them.
That power goes both ways.
Does it?
I walked into a wall of muscle. Noah stood in my path, his face stoic, but his eyes pleading.
“No,” I insisted. “I can’t. I have to stay until…”
“Bryan is going to make sure the party is shut down, Darby.” I shook my head. “Look, he just wants to talk to you.”
“Then why did he send his guard dog? Why not tell me himself?”
“Dammit, Darby. All this time, and you two are still acting like immature teens.” He grabbed my wrist before I could protest. “C’mon. I’m driving.”
Thirty Eight
“Bringin’ on the Heartbreak” – Def Leppard
