Fool Me Once

by Sandra Lee

  “Hello?”

  “Hey girl, so you ready for the big date?” Alex asked from the other end?

  Eva smiled thinking of Jake, hoping he would finally notice she wasn’t just Josh’s sister.

  “Yes, I hope Jake realize we are made for each other…”

  Alex voice came back on the line a little confused.

  “Jake? But I thought it was Ben you wanted to get back at.”

  Eva groaned inwardly as she suddenly recalled her revenge plan. She also cursed her omission to tell Alex all about her change of heart, and of her new feelings for Jake. For some reason she hadn’t told her best friend her true feelings. So now, Alex was not likely to understand why she would forgo revenge, which they so carefully planned. Still she had to make Alex understand and make her promise to forget all about it.

  “Hmmm Alex, I don’t think its such a good idea after all, I don’t care enough about Ben to go through the trouble. I mean we should just enjoy ourselves and forget all about our plan.

  “What? Are you insane? Revenge is a must Eva. You will see, after you will feel a lot better and plus, can you imagine Shelley’s face when you are going to walk in with Jake on your arm, and have Ben beg you to take him back? It will be priceless believe me. You can’t, not do this.” Alex sounded so certain it was the thing to do. Eva thought, “What’s the harm in it?” Jake was still going with her; he didn’t have to find out that she had originally had other reasons to ask him. Lost in her thoughts and self-justification, she didn’t notice Jake approach her door.

  “Alright Alex, since you think it’s a good idea, I will use Jake to make Ben realize he was a complete fool. But you do understand I don’t want him back. I am way over him; he doesn’t even deserve a second of my thoughts. I just want him to see I am not as bad as he described me, that he was an idiot. Won’t he have a shock when he sees how different I look tonight, when he sees the handsome college man accompanying me?” You know I don’t care about Ben right? That I probably never did. On the other hand I…” she let the sentence trail off, once again finding herself unable to voice her true feelings. But in her head she added, “Tonight I will tell Jake how I feel.” Then again to her friend “ Alex, tonight will be special, I will love to see Ben’s reaction, but I wont care either way. You understand, don’t you?”

  Eva hadn’t seen Jake retreat from the hallway, his jaw clenched, his eyes hard. He had left as soon as he heard she was going to use him, unwilling to hear all the sordid details. It was almost a blessing she hadn’t seen his smile freeze and his eyes harden. Had not seen that his small misunderstanding would change her and her life forever.

  Before starting down the stairs, she checked her appearance one last time, and smiled convinced that Jake would finally see her as the young woman she was. She descended the stairs slowly; more nervous then she had ever been before. What if he laughed? What if she tripped and ended up with her dress around her shoulders? What ifs filled her head? She almost went running back to her room but forced herself to walk down the remaining steps. She realized she couldn’t hide her feelings from him forever. Plus the odds of him feeling the same way were good, weren’t they? Eva had thought of the age difference, there was 6 years between them, but she thought herself mature and believed love had no age. So there were no reasons why he couldn’t see her as girlfriend material, was there?

  She finally reached the last step and saw him sitting on the couch in the living room. He looked breathtaking; in fact he took her breath away, he was so handsome. His broad shoulders were straining under the well-cut tuxedo. His black hair was still damp from the shower he had taken earlier. He was smiling at something her brother had said when he saw her. She could have sworn he became another person; she could almost feel the chill of his eyes and suddenly felt cold and exposed; it lasted only a fraction of a second, she must have imagined it. Smiling broadly, she extended her hand:

  “Well, shall we go?”

  She thought he appeared somewhat uncomfortable but it was crazy, it must have been because she was so nervous, she made up stuff. She brushed the idea aside; she had to get a grip. Jake was always at ease, no matter what.

  “Sure, I guess” he answered as he got up.

  He sounded somewhat less then anxious to get going. He walked to the door, ignoring her outstretched hand. She swallowed hard and laughed nervously.

  “Wait up Jake, you wouldn’t want to leave your date behind now, would you?”

  The question of course was asked as a joke, but she was hoping his attitude would change and he would realize how much he wanted to be with her/His answer wasn’t what she was looking for; he just shrugged, slowed down and allowed her to reach the door ahead of him. Once in the car, he reached over to do up her seat belt, in the process slightly brushing against her breast. She gasped and directed a wide-eyed look in his direction. She heard his quick intake of breath but his face remained unreadable, so she remained quiet. The ride there was awkward to say the least. Every attempt at conversation Eva tried was answered by noncommittal groans. Jake just stared ahead and gripped the wheel tightly.

  Eva was becoming more nervous by the second. Something was very wrong. Something had happened between the times she left to get dressed and the time she had gotten down the stairs. But what? Did he already regret agreeing to take her to the dance? Had she been mistaking when she had thought he could learn to see her differently? Had the looks she had seen in his eyes merely been figment of her imagination?

  “Jake? Are you all right? Did I say or do anything wrong?” She asked her voice trembling slightly. At that he laughed, or he emitted a sound that sounded like laughter except it wasn’t; A sound that made her cold. Still he didn’t say a word, just kept on driving.

  Once in the parking lot of the hotel where the dance was held, she forced him to look at her.

  “Jake please talk to me. I thought we were going to have fun tonight. I thought…yet here you are treating me as if I wasn’t even there. I don’t understand. If you didn’t want to come to the dance, you could have just said, or if you did what made you change your mind?” She said unable to stop her lips from trembling.

  His eyes bore into hers. Probably seeing more then she was willing to let on at that exact moment. She loved him, but right now, for some reason she didn’t want him to know. She was afraid her eyes were betraying her though. He smiled, a smile that was fake, one that held not a hint of warmth.

  “You know little girl, you might be playing a game to which you don’t understand the rules.” Jake said his hands still gripping the wheel as if his life depended on it.

  Her jaw dropped, she closed her eyes, an action Jake perceived as admission of guilt. Shaking her head, she opened her eyes and forced herself to look at him.

  “What do you mean? I am not playing any games” The words came out shakily.

  “Are you sure? Because to me it seems you make everything a game; a hunt maybe? Does it sound like a more apt word?”

  What the hell was he talking about? She was getting very confused. All of this made no sense at all.

  “I said I was not playing a game. Jake what is wrong with you? I thought we were friends?” she added in an injured tone.

  She could feel her eyes fill up with tears. She wanted to understand why he was treating her that way, why he was saying those things to her.

  “So did I little girl, so did I. But did you think I wouldn’t notice the come on smile you have been giving me? Did you think I would not see through you?” The look he gave her chilled her to the bone. So he had seen through her, though the smiles were not come-on; they were merely mirrors to her heart. Yet, there he was demeaning her feelings for him. And even if they had been come-on smiles, he didn’t need to treat her this way. He could simply have told her he wasn’t interested. Suddenly a sob escaped her, then another; finally sobbing uncontrollably, she opened the car door and stepped into the parking lot. Students were all around her; she could hear her friends’ greetings but
ignored them all. She started running; away from all of this, away from him, wishing she had never met him, wishing she…She came to an abrupt stop as her foot got caught and she lost her balance; Jake prevented her fall by grabbing her in his arms. He then turned her around so she faced him.

  “ What do you think you are doing?” He asked in a voice repressed with anger. He looked at her, his eyes flashing, his lips set in a tight line and his jaw clenched.

  “Why don’t you tell me, you seem to know everything tonight. Go ahead insult me again.” She said shakily, her eyes bright with tears.

  She was faintly aware of people staring; Aware that she was making a spectacle of herself. But she couldn’t bring herself to care about that. All of it seemed like a nightmare, it couldn’t be real…she would wake up soon. She had to.

  “I think you are acting childishly, but then again that is not very surprising since you are little more then a child. Eva, you could have told me why you invited me instead of letting me believe…”His voice trailed off, as if looking for his words, trying to find the right way to say what he had to. Then he shrugged and started laughing, forced as it was. He was at once trying to lighten up the situation and belittle hers and his feelings. Suddenly sobering up, he wearily massaged his forehead. His shoulders slumped slightly; he seemed to be wearing all the weight of the world on his shoulders. She wanted to be angry at his comments, wanted to yell at him, wanted for him to know she was a woman, a human being with feelings that could be hurt. Instead, she found herself placing her hands on the back of his neck, massaging gently, trying to release the tenseness in his back and shoulders. He closed his eyes, groaning softly. He seemed to relax a little until he opened his eyes and looked down at her. His lips were so close, barely inches from hers. She gazed into his eyes, aware of her body reacting to her love, to his anger, to his heated glance. His proximity affected her more then she had ever imagined, and that wasn’t speaking lightly, because she had thought of that moment for month. She found she had trouble breathing when she saw the battle being fought behind the green depth of his eyes. A war, which he suddenly lost with a groan when he bent his head towards her and his lips, finally, touched hers. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms tightly around her. Her breasts pressed against his hard chest, his hands burned her everywhere he touched. Her previous anger and confusion were gone replaced by a need she didn’t quite understand. All that really mattered at the time were his eager lips on hers, seeking a response. The mere touch of them almost brought her to her knees. Moaning softly, she leaned into him. His hands ran up her back, he buried his fingers in the softness of her hair as his kiss deepened. She stood on her tiptoes, wanting to match his eagerness, wanting to be closer still. Suddenly, he jerked away, leaving her with wobbly knees and stars in her eyes. She had to concentrate hard to stay up and control her breathing. When she could breath again, she forced herself to look at him. His arms were now crossed against his chest, leaving her cold and alone; her thin cape no match to Ben off the sudden chills. She kept looking at him, her eyes silently begging him to say something. The words he uttered however, she could have done without.

  “Stop playing games Eva. Stop it before you get burnt. I am only a man after all. I am not programmed to resist temptation, even less to say no to such blatant attempt at seduction.”

  How could he say things like that after that kiss, after their closeness? Couldn’t he see that they belonged together?

  “But…”

  “What? You are going to tell me you were not playing a game? That you were not out to get yourself an older boyfriend so you could be better then your little friends; that you were not out to seduce me? Wearing that tiny dress and…” He shook his head “ You are going to tell me you were not using me to get back at your old boyfriend? Thinking only of you, not caring about other people’s feelings? Not that I mind what you decide to do with your selfish self, but when you decided to use me to accomplish your little purpose, I got pissed off. So now that we are clear on everyone’s feelings and the such, why don’t you keep yourself and your pitiful attempt at seduction away from me.”

  “Stop it Jake! Stop it! You have no right saying those things to me.” She denied hotly, knowing inside he was right, knowing she should have explained. Knowing she had screwed things up even before they were allowed to develop.

  “Don’t I? Am I not the one made to feel a fool because I thought I was taking out a nice girl, when in fact I was taking out a selfish, cold-hearted bitch who couldn’t care less whether I was here or not, if not for her plans of revenge? As you said earlier, I thought we were friends. Friends…ah, I don’t believe you even know the meaning of the word.”

  “Jake, please let me explain.” She begged him.

  “No Eva. I don’t want to hear your pitiful excuses. Why would I when you are bound to make them up anyway?” She flinched at his harsh words but he ignored her.” We are going to go in and do whatever we came here for, and that is dance. But I warn you, don’t ever try to use me again. After tonight, you will not see me again, but in the meantime we need to keep up appearances, and taking you home early would bring up questions from your mother and brother. I respect them and don’t want to see them hurt, which is more then I can say for you. Right now, I can barely stand to look at your beautiful deceitful eyes. I don’t know how you can look so innocent when I know you are so guilty. I am just glad I read through you before…” Once again he stopped before reaching the end of his sentence.

  She stared at him, flinching at his forbidding expression.

  They finally entered the beautifully decorated hall, but Eva didn’t notice the white and blue theme, nor did she notice the ice sculptures spread across the room. She bypassed her friends without acknowledging them and stood oblivious to the whisper as Jake led the way. She was blind to her surrounding, to the brightly colored dresses, the elegant hall, and the mouth-watering buffet. All she was aware of was Jake’s hand on her arm, half-dragging her to a table in a far corner, where he pulled her a chair. Dazed, she looked at him with tear-filled eyes. He stared right back at her. His face a mix of contempt, boredom, insouciance and dare she hope pain? Blinking she turned away. She saw the couples on the dance floor, she heard the echo of their laughter but she barely registered any of it. She wished she were somewhere else; wished that she could disappear. She wished so many things, but above all she wished she could go back in time and change everything, make this night as special as it was supposed to be, rewind the evening to before the phone call.

  “Wanna dance?” Jake’s voice was indifferent, but it was enough to startle her back to the present. Noises and lights, sights and people, icing and ice, all assaulted her senses making her dizzy. She took in a deep breath. Taking her courage into her hands, she nodded. Maybe dancing would be better then sitting here trying hard to ignore each other. He led her to the dance floor and took her in his arms. They started moving to the slow beat of the music. She could feel his hard muscles under her fingers. She stepped closer to him still and felt him stiffen; yet he didn’t push her away. That gave her hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe he would listen to her explanation.

  “Jake, please listen to me” He didn’t move, didn’t seem to have heard her. She kept on speaking anyway.“ I just want to apologize for what I have done, I realize I should have told you about Ben, about the fact that, at first, I had every intention to use you to make him regret ever cheating on me and dumping me because he felt I wasn’t woman enough for him. But I want you to know I never meant to hurt you, never in a million years would I ever want to hurt you. The thing is, I had completely forgotten about all my plans of revenge until Alex brought it up again tonight. I didn’t think you’d mind, in fact I didn’t think at all. I am so sorry. I hope one day you will be bale to forgive me.” After a minute of silence on both sides, she finally looked up, and what she saw in his eyes gave her the courage to continue.

  “I forgot all about Ben and my plans because I no longer cared. The only o
pinion I cared about was yours. I know you think of me as only Josh’s little sister, but I am 18, a woman. My feelings for you are far from childish. I think I love you, and I would give anything to go back in time and erase everything that happened here tonight. I just want you to forgive me.” She finished in a husky whisper. After taking in a deep breath, she once again lifted her face to his. She saw him smiling tentatively down at her. He brushed a soft tendril of hair away from her forehead and, for an instant, looked deep into her eyes. Then he, unexpectedly, hugged her close to him, and his smile grew bigger and warmer. He believed her.

  “Eva, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have jumped to any conclusions, it’s just that I heard you on the phone and…well never mind that now. Let’s just say that my experiences with women have not left me very trusting. You have to know that seeing you so happy, so carefree, getting to know you, your wit, your intelligence, my feelings for you have grown as well. I’ll go get the coats at the table, meet me by the door, we can go somewhere and talk more.” He gave her a light kiss and walked away.

  Smiling dreamily, she looked at him walking away, looking so strong, so confident. Lost in her daydream, she didn’t hear Ben coming from behind her.

  “Hello Eva, see I knew you had potential.” His voice was smug.

  “Ben, why are you talking to me?” She said impatiently. Because of him, she had almost ruined everything with Jake; she really wasn’t in the mood to see him now. In fact she wouldn’t mind never seeing him again. The more she looked at him, the more she wondered what she ever saw in him. His manners were studied, he was always posturing, and he thought he was all that when in fact he was nothing at all…

  “Why baby, you don’t seem happy to see me.” She stared at him as if he had suddenly grown a third eye. What an idiot he was and so clueless.” I just wanted to tell you, I would take you back.” He added, confident she would jump at the chance.