Sojourner

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  “Please, stay.”

  “You’ll be safe here.” He tries to pull free, but I won’t let go.

  “I’m not scared. I just don’t want to be alone.”

  “Of course.” He kisses my forehead again and settles on his side against the mattress. Then, as if in a dream, I see his wings erupt from beneath his shoulders, austere and white and amazing as they wrap around me, closing off everything but him.

  Chapter Nineteen

  That night the only dreams I have are of Lev and me floating among the stars, his great wings lifting us as far as we want to go into a black sky studded with shards of starlight. The moon hangs high, a huge yellow ball, illuminating our skin. Lev’s arms clutch me, my back against his chest, the world spread out far below, and when dawn at last creeps into the sky, it steals across our skin in pink and blue as the sun emerges from her bed.

  Then I wake to find him there, watching as I stir. His arms are drawn about me, and his wings have vanished into hiding but I can still see their barest shimmer. Curious, I reach out to touch them but to no avail.

  “What are you doing?” Lev asks, grinning.

  “I can always see this shimmer where your wings are. I thought I might touch them.”

  “You see a shimmer? Really? You’re the first.” He seems genuinely surprised.

  “No one else has?”

  “Not that I’m aware.” He shrugs and watches my hand. “Do you feel anything?”

  “No.”

  The shimmering grows a little brighter, and I see the outline of the wing. “What about now?”

  “Nope.”

  More brilliance, then, but this time I feel heat, and, in its wake, something solid. It’s weird.

  “Well?” he asks softly.

  “I feel it. It’s just not what I expected.”

  He laughs and shakes his head. “Angels never are. How did you sleep?”

  “Okay.” I sit up slowly and glance at the window, where the sun is already pouring around the curtains. “What time is it?” I run my fingers through my hair, and from the feel, it’s all over the place.

  “Ten.”

  My mouth drops open. “Wow! I never sleep that late.” Throwing the covers back, I scramble out of bed. “I have to check on Jimmie.”

  Lev rises and lays a hand on my shoulder. “Take it easy. Evan is at the hospital with Jimmie. Right now, he’s eating breakfast and giving the nurses a hard time, which tells you how much better he must feel. He knows where you are and that you’ll be in to see him soon, so take a deep breath and grab a shower while I fix breakfast.”

  He pats my shoulder. And before I can reply, he’s out the door. For a moment I stand there trying to regain my focus. I should be calm; at least Jimmie’s okay. But that doesn’t stop the fear. A cold chill runs through me, and I force myself into the bathroom.

  By the time I’ve finished and dressed in borrowed sweats, I smell biscuits baking and bacon sizzling. I towel my hair dry and then brush through it. Moments later I find Lev in the kitchen fixing two plates of food. When he sees me, he smiles.

  “Hope you like scrambled eggs, bacon, and biscuits. I figured the last thing you wanted was pancakes.” He nods to the table. “Have a seat and I’ll get you some juice.”

  “Thanks.” I pull up a chair and sit, brushing the hair from my face. Lev has already set out silverware and a napkin. “I didn’t think I was in the shower long enough for all this.”

  “You’d be surprised.” He carries a pitcher of juice to the table and fills our glasses. “If you’re anything like Celia, she takes long showers and leaves no hot water.”

  “I’m sure that’s not a problem for you,” I say, pointing to the faint shimmer.

  “Nope. Somehow I radiate a lot of heat.” He picks up his fork. “Dig in. Cold eggs don’t taste very good.”

  “Yeah, you’re right about that.” I, too, pick up my fork and eat. For a second, I’m stunned by how normal this whole thing feels-- sitting here having breakfast like Jimmie hasn’t been admitted to the hospital because he was attacked and our home was destroyed.

  “Thinking about it won’t help, Elizabeth,” Lev says quietly. “Just worry about one thing at a time. After we finish breakfast, I’ll drive you to the hospital. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll drive to your house. If the police will let us, start picking up the mess before Jimmie is released. The last thing we want is for him to come home to that.”

  I am touched by his kindness for both Jimmie and me. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “Everything.” I look down, momentarily feeling overwhelmed by emotion and I blink to drive the tears away.

  “You don’t have to thank me. I’m just glad to be with you. And besides, you’re not leaving my sight, remember?” He levels a knowing glance at me, as if to remind me of why that is important.

  “I know, I know,” I finally respond, unsure of what else to say. I want to ask him that if the person never tries to kill me, does that mean he’ll stay with me, forever waiting? It’s stupid to think of things like that, and I’m just trying to find a loophole.

  “There are no loopholes,” Lev whispers, pushing his empty plate away.

  I shake my head, frustrated. “How can you take all this so calmly, as if none of it matters?”

  He stands and carries his plate and glass to the sink. “I’ve lived on this earth a long, long time, Elizabeth, and I’ve watched you die over and over until I felt like I didn’t even know my name, but I’ve always known that no matter how many times your spirit has walked this earth, you’ve never made it to 18. The last time I saw you die, I knew that was all I could take. Maybe I won’t get everything I want, but at least I get to know that I’ll finally have done something for you that matters.” He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and forces it out.

  I can tell he’s barely controlling his emotions, and perhaps buried deep beneath his hard exterior, there are doubts he isn’t sharing. Maybe it’s better for him, knowing that no matter what, I’m alive, but how do I let him go?

  Lev lifts my chin with his finger. “When the time comes, you won’t have a choice. It will just happen.”

  Confused, I jerk away and take my own plate and glass to the sink. “We should go see Jimmie.”

  He sighs. “All right. Your coat and shoes are in my room.” He goes to the closet and grabs his coat, yanking the keys from the pocket. I try not to think about what he said and the choice I won’t have in all of this.

  The winter morning seems to have warmed up a little, but then again, that’s probably because I usually get out just after dawn for school. The sun is bright, and it seems like it should be warmer out, this being one of those rare days when the earth seems to take in all the sun it gets and radiate it right back. The first part of the drive passes in silence. Lev’s skin drinks in the light, radiating in its resultant glow. His hair shines like spun gold and he’s wearing the same brown coat I recognize from the dream. His body shimmers, and I’m spellbound by his beauty.

  “Are all angels beautiful?”

  “To humans, yes,” he admits, his fingers tightly gripping the wheel. “Then again, that’s the allure of most supernatural creatures. We’re different from you, and that difference evokes curiosity and fascination.” I look at him, his words reminding me jarringly of our differences.

  “What other supernatural beings are there?”

  He taps his turn signal and pulls into the hospital parking lot. “No offense, Elizabeth, but you’ve more than enough problems with other humans. The last thing you need to do is dwell on what other creatures occupy this world. That’s a story for later.” He pulls into a space and stuffs his keys back into his pocket.

  “But you won’t be here later to ask.”

  “’There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,’” Lev says, smiling, a twinkle in his eye. “Let’s leave it at that and go visit Jimmie. I’m sure he’ll be excited to see you.”


  “Thank you, William Shakespeare.” Reluctantly, I leave the questions behind and a moment later, as we slip into Jimmie’s room. He’s sitting up in bed, chatting with Evan. Both of them look over at us.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Jimmie says. His voice still sounds weak. The IV is still taped to the back of his hand. The bruise on his face looks worse, and I try not to cringe. It’s not exactly his fault it looks so painful.

  Evan stands. “Well, I think I’ll head off since Elizabeth’s here.” He pats Jimmie’s shoulder. “Don’t hesitate to call if you need something.”

  “Thanks.” Jimmie extends his free hand and Evan shakes it.

  As Evan ambles toward the door, he nudges me and says, “He ate well this morning and seems in good spirits but I didn’t want to leave until you got here.”

  “Thanks.”

  As Evan slips out, I step to Jimmie’s bedside and kiss his cheek. Lev takes the other chair.

  “How are you feeling?”

  He shrugs. “Ribs hurt today. Face hurts, too. What condition is the house in?” He rubs his hand across his forehead.

  “Don’t worry about the house. Lev and I’ll take care of it.”

  “No,” Jimmie says, looking from one to the other of us. “Whoever did this might come back.”

  “It’s all right, Mr. Abram. My dad and Celia will be there, too. Nobody’ll hurt Elizabeth. I promise.” Lev glances at Jimmie. “I’m gonna go get a soda. Either of you want anything?”

  “No, I’m good,” I tell him as I lean back in the chair. Both Jimmie and I watch him go, and an uncomfortable silence fills the room.

  “You okay, Lizzie?” He reaches for my hand and I give it to him. He’s frowning and I can tell that despite having fractured ribs, a broken arm, and a concussion, what he’s really worried about is me. Like that makes sense.

  “You scared me,” I finally admit, pushing hair from my face. “I thought I was going to lose you.”

  “Not happening, kiddo.” He squeezes my hand. “You’re stuck with me.” He glances at the clock. “The cops came and took my statement earlier. They think it’s the same guy from your school, based on the graffiti. They also mentioned something else, something I’d hoped never to confirm.”

  He’s frowning and looking beyond me, probably having just been informed of the body they found yesterday. It’s not like there’s a whole lot of people it could be. For the most part, people don’t suddenly go missing from small towns. Even the odds tell Jimmie that body is Ephraim Moon, my father.

  Still, I can’t exactly act like I know all about this so I ask, “What?”

  “Some joggers found a body by the falls, Elizabeth. It’s probably been there for over a decade, and there’s only one missing person from this town. Your dad.”

  “They think they found Dad’s body?”

  “Yeah.”

  I realize the next question isn’t one I know the answer to, and that makes it more difficult to ask. “Do they know what happened?”

  Jimmie shakes his head. “They’ve got to confirm it’s your dad first. They’ll also be trying to determine what killed him and whether foul play was involved.” He looks out the window. “I’m sorry, Lizzie. We never should have come here.”

  “You didn’t have a choice, Jimmie. I know that.”

  He leans back against the pillow, his face pasty as though being awake and talkative is catching up to him. “I just hoped this place had changed, but I don’t guess it ever will.”

  “You look like you’re not feeling well, Jimmie.”

  He winces. “Yeah, the pain meds have worn off and I’m kind of tired.” He closes his eyes.

  “I’m going to go work on putting the house back in order so it’s ready when you can come home.” I stand and lean over to give him a kiss on the cheek. The bruise is getting better by minute degrees, I guess, but it still makes me cringe. All of this because of me.

  His eyelids flutter open and he catches my hand. “Be careful.”

  I give him a reassuring smile I don’t feel. “Nothing’s going to happen. I’ll be surrounded by Lev and his family. You need to get some rest. I’ll be back tonight.” I give him another kiss and wander into the hallway.

  I don’t know how long Lev has been standing there, but our gazes lock when I leave the room. I’m light-headed, probably once again from all the stress and fear swirling around me. All the things I can’t control. He follows my lead as we walk toward the exit, and I feel him watching me.

  “You all right?” he asks while staring straight ahead. It’s disconcerting.

  “Peachy.” I think of Jimmie’s wounds and the fatigue all over his face. He doesn’t deserve this. Not at all.

  “Oh, sarcasm. That means you’re about as fine as pulled taffy.” He slips his arm around me and pulls out his keys. “Where are we off to?” he asks quietly.

  “The house. I want to start working on it.” I grit my teeth, thinking it isn’t much that I can give back to Jimmie to make up for this nightmare, but it’s all I’ve got, and I want to help.

  “Okay.” He holds the glass door open and we slip out into the cool air. “Once we get there, I’ll call Evan and Celia. Among the four of us, it shouldn’t take long to get it put back together.”

  I shake my head in disgust. “Yeah, right. Didn’t you see that place? It’s my home, and I feel like every piece of my life has been trashed.” I keep seeing the living room and the way the words “Half breed” scrawled across the wall in blood red letters that drip suggestively.

  “Just take my word. We’ll get it fixed.” He opens the passenger door and I get in. Then he walks to the driver side.

  As we drive, I look at Lev’s profile, and, he reaches over and pats my leg. “Okay, Elizabeth. What is rattling around in that head of yours?”

  “Why don’t I remember being in love with you before? Why is the only memory I kept the one where I die from a bullet?”

  He shrugs. “The same reason the only real memory you have of your mom is the day you got lost at the zoo and couldn’t find her. Or the one of your dad braiding your hair. I don’t know why some moments make it across the chasm. I wish I did.”

  I lean against the headrest. “Was it hard to watch me from a distance when I didn’t remember you?”

  He takes a deep breath and nods. “Yeah. But I also kind of felt like it was better because I didn’t want you to make the same choice as last time. I want you to live.”

  A small sports car cuts in front of us and then speeds off. Lev shakes his head. “There’s no guardian angel who’s going to be able to keep those two out of trouble.”

  “How long have you known I’d returned, that my spirit was housed in a different body?”

  “Since you were born.” He flips his turn signal on, and we turn into my neighborhood.

  “How?”

  “The same way you communicate with others of your kind. Angels have different duties. Someone had to re-direct your spirit back into a body.”

  I lean against his shoulder. “What happened when you found out?”

  “I kept tabs on you. Sometimes, I went to Dallas to see you. I’d hide in the shadows and watch you play with your friends. I’d be listening in on your thoughts in case you ever got into trouble so I could help you, and the time drifted past until at last you came to Hauser’s Landing. Then I didn’t have to wait anymore. You had come to me without realizing it.”

  Squinting, I think about all my years in Dallas, growing up with Jimmie. We had a decent backyard with lots of trees and a place we could put up one of those snap-frame pools to while away the time during the summer heat. No matter how many different instances I drag to mind, I don’t remember ever seeing Lev before we came to this place. But there’s one thing I take great comfort in: Lev was with me.

  “I bet you thought I was a scrawny kid,” I say as we pull up in front of my house. A police cruiser still sits in the driveway. I glance at Lev, trying to read his expression, but his fac
e is inscrutable.

  “No, your beanpole legs were kind of cute.” He tugs on the door handle and gets out. Nervous, I follow his lead. I take a deep breath as we reach the front porch where a yellow crime scene ribbon crisscrosses in front of us. Before I can say anything, the police officer steps out on the porch.

  “What are you doing here?” He’s not the same officer , and he doesn’t recognize me.

  “This is Elizabeth Moon. She lives here with Jimmie Abram. She called in the attack.”

  He finally nods. “Oh yeah. My partner said Jimmie is doin’ better. Have you been to see him today?”

  I nod. “I just came from the hospital. He’s awake and feeling better. They will probably release him within a few days and I wanted to get the mess cleaned up because he has a broken arm, and the last thing I want is for him to trip over anything and hurt himself. Are you guys finished with our house?”

  He nods. “Yeah, I was coming to pull off the crime scene tape. I just wanted to take one last look around in case we missed anything.” He nods toward the door. “Go on in. I was just leaving.” He grabs the yellow tape, tugs it down, and balls it into a wad.

  “You ready?” Lev asks, nodding toward the door.

  I force myself to nod. “Yeah. Weren’t you going to call Evan and Celia?”

  “Already did.” He opens the screen door and gently guides me inside by the small of my back.

  “Huh?”

  “I already called them. I just didn’t use a phone. They should be here soon.” He glances around and fixates on the graffiti. “Now that will be the first to go.”

  I bend to start picking up books. “Somehow I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget it.”

  “You might be surprised at what time and distance will do.”

  I start a pile of books out of the way of the debris. “Yeah, like it did so much for you.”

  “I didn’t want to leave you, Elizabeth. That’s the difference.”

  Chapter Twenty

  I thought cleaning up would take at least two days, but Lev was right. Once Evan and Celia arrived, the three of them managed to get the bulk of the work done in no time. Of course, they are angels and I’m not asking how. I’m just grateful that Jimmie, when he’s released, will come home to a house that doesn’t remind him of the nightmare he’s gone through.