Choices

by Annie Brewer

  As I step outside into the hall, I hear voices in the next room-Tyler’s room. I quietly creep down the hallway and peer into the room and see Tyler playing video games…with Carter. I lean against the door frame, arms crossed over my chest in fascination and awe. It amazes me how good he is with kids. They are laughing and Tyler seems to be challenging Carter and knowing him he never backs down from one. I chuckle to myself a little too loudly, causing Carter to look up and see me. I shut my mouth and stifle a laugh. He gives me a once over, then flashes a devious smile-approving my attire.

  When Tyler notices the quiet, he looks in my direction and waves. “Hey sis.”

  “Hi Tyler. I see you’re challenging Carter.” I step into the room and sit on his Iron Man themed bed, watching the game going on the Xbox. Tyler’s room is a little smaller than my room. He has posters of Iron Man on his walls and the action figures atop his bookshelf.

  “Yeah, he’s pretty competitive.” I laugh remembering just how right Tyler is-and when he loses how much of a baby he is too.

  “You should let him win. Seriously, he hates losing.” Carter shoots me a challenging look. “He cries.” I add, still looking at him, smirking.

  Just then, Carter stalks toward the bed where I’m sitting and before I know what he’s planning to do, he starts tickling me. “You like talking smack, do ya?” He says playfully.

  I squeal trying to get away but he’s faster. “Let me go!” His hands feel good on my body as he finds all of my ticklish spots and I almost pee my pants from laughing so hard. I almost can’t take it anymore and Carter finally lets up, towering over me as I lie on the floor in surrender, trying to catch my breath, holding my stomach. He gives me a sexy grin, probably secretly feeling proud for winning this fight and extends his hand toward mine to pull me to my feet. Once we call a truce and our heart rates slow, we decide to head out.

  “Tyler, my man. We’ll play more later okay? Keep it real.” He gives him a high five and I arch my brow at his attempt to be cool. I can’t help but laugh and he gives me a “What did I do” look. I just shake my head and mess up Tyler’s hair as I pass him.

  “See you guys later.” Tyler tells us, smiling. We walk into the kitchen and I grab a banana and a quick glass of milk.

  “Mom, we’re leaving.” I yell through the house after I rinse my glass and toss the peel in the trash.

  “Okay honey.” She meets us at the front door. “Have a great time.” She kisses my forehead.

  “Thanks mom. Love ya.”

  “Bye Carter. Greetings to your family.”

  Carter nods to her. “Thanks Mary. Have a great day.” My mom catches him in a hug which surprises him but he hugs her back, looking at me over my mother’s shoulder. I stifle a grin.

  “You’re a good young man. Take care of my daughter. I’m sure she’s nervous.” I grab his hand and pull him out the door in a hurry, unsure why I’m so afraid to admit that indeed I am nervous about meeting his family. I guess until I actually spend time with them and see firsthand how they react; I won’t get the uneasy feeling out of my gut.

  “Well, that was…awkward.” Carter says as we get into his truck. I look over at him and nod. “So, are you nervous?” He asks. I look away, looking for a distraction.

  “She likes you. My mom. She told me before you came over that she was wrong about you. She doesn’t usually admit when she’s wrong, she’s too prideful. But I guess you cracked that bit of pride she had.” I smile at him. He takes my hand and kisses my fingers. A shiver runs through my hand and up my arm.

  I buckle my seat belt as we’re pulling away from the house, down the street. I stretch my legs a little; they seem to be getting heavier by the second. My toes fee bunched in my shoes and I wiggle them awake.

  “Quit it Gracie.” Confused, I turn to see Carter staring at my trembling knees.

  “Sorry, I guess I’m a little nervous. I want them to like me.” He softly squeezes the hand he’s still holding. A flutter that I’ll never get used to has me grabbing my belly.

  “The baby liked that, apparently.” Carter places his right hand toward the bottom where the foot must be. It kicks again, startling us both and we laugh.

  “You’re not scared? Or weirded out?” I ask when he puts his hand back. He moves from one side to the next, feeling for the baby’s position.

  “No, I’m an uncle, you know. I used to intentionally annoy my niece all the time so she would kick my sister. Of course Cassie wasn’t too thrilled. Especially when Maddie would kick her ribs.” I grit my teeth, stifling a laugh.

  “That’s mean.” I slap his shoulder.

  “I never claimed to be nice. You just assumed.” We both laugh.

  He looks at me, taking his hand away. “I’m sorry; does it bother you when I touch your belly? I know some don’t like being touched. I should have asked first.”

  I shake my head and grab his hand, placing it right back. “No, it’s fine. I don’t mind. I just wasn’t sure how you felt about touching it. Some guys get freaked out by it, which I think is normal because it’s so weird. It’s a weird feeling for me. I can only imagine what it must feel like for those on the outside.” We ride the rest of the way like that, talking

  We pull up to his house, the car fills with silence. “Thank you for coming with me. I know it must be hard for you but I promise they’ll love you.” I rub my thumb over his cheek, lovingly…our eyes locked.

  “Let’s go.”

  Even though I’ve met Carter’s mom, also Nick’s aunt as my principle, it’s not the same when you’re meeting her as your boyfriend’s mother. There’s a lot of sucking up to be done. A lot of first impression jitters. Of course there’s also just being yourself, but what would she think of me? Life went from being complicated to downright unrecognizable in a matter of months.

  I feel Carter’s hand on mine and instantly feel a sense of calming. “You ready?” He leans over and kisses my temple.

  “Well, I guess I don’t have a choice, so I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.” I put on a smile, as fake as it is, I can tell he appreciates it.

  “Oh by the way, I told my mom about the baby being Nick’s, only because I didn’t want her to question you. She said she won’t bring it up unless you initiate it.”

  “Thank you.” Carter gets out and circles to my side, opening my door for me. I take his hand when he offers it. Oh how I am not looking forward to waddling out of the car as I get bigger and closer to the end of my pregnancy.

  The outside is very kempt. I see Christmas lights strewn over the bushes and hang on the roof, reminding me that I need to get decorations out for my house. I’ve been so focused elsewhere that I’ve forgotten about my favorite part of Christmas. There’s a small garden in the front where pretty flowers live. The colors are vibrant and make the yard look complete. The shutters are a light brown, while the rest of the outside is red and dark brown.

  On the door there’s a Christmas wreath that hangs and a sign next to the door that reads “Jenkins House”. I look in the driveway and see two vehicle parked-red van and a SUV of some sort. Carter squeezes the hand he still holds, pulling my attention away and back to him.

  I smile at his before he opens the door and says, “Mom, we’re here.”

  “Oh good dear, you’re just in time. I have food cooking. Come on in.” She spots me and smiles. “Oh Gracie, it’s great to see you.”

  “Hello Mrs. Jenkins. I’m happy to be here.” I clench my teeth, steeling my nerves.

  “Oh please, we’re not at school. Call me Sylvia.” She takes my hand guides me through the hallway that leads into the foyer. From the front door is a big room with a piano and a pool table, on the left is what I’m assuming is the office. The kitchen is in the back, along with the living room connecting to the dining room. The kitchen has an island with granite counter tops and a matching backsplash. I run my hand over the smooth surface. The cabinets are oak and the light wood floor is a perfect contrast.

  “I love your k
itchen.” I profess. I’ve always been fascinated with kitchens. They are my favorite section in the house. When I was younger, I would daydream of what my kitchen would someday look like. Some kids liked drawing or reading, my hobby was kitchens designs.

  “Thank you. Why don’t you come and sit down? The girls should be in, in just a few minutes. Sylvia sits across from me, eyeing me warily.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Mom.” Carter interrupts, giving her a look. I jump in to her defense, assuring him I’m fine.

  “It’s okay.” I look at her. “I’m feeling okay. Tired but not really sick anymore. I can keep food down more which is a blessing considering I wasn’t gaining enough weight. But now I’m more tired than anything. My feet are starting to get a little swollen, at least a little. I can tell when I put my shoes on.” I lean back and cover my yawn that escapes my mouth. She nods as if to say, “been there, done that”. She pats my hand sympathetically.

  “You know, Cassie would be a really good source for advice. I’m sure she’d love to help you prepare for life with a baby. She had it tough too.” Just then two girls enter the kitchen, both I’m assuming to be Carter’s sisters. And both I find to be very pretty.

  “Hey we’re here.” One girl with long black curly hair is holding a small child on her curvy hip.

  “Cassie, this is Gracie. Gracie, this is my sister Cassie. She’s the one who can relate,” He points his finger in her direction, “as you can see.” She holds her hand out and I take it.

  “It’s great to meet you Gracie. Carter told me you were a pretty thing, but you’re a beautiful young lady, with just the cutest bump.” I blush bashfully and look down at my belly for a minute.

  “Thank you. That’s really sweet.” Cassie looks just like her mom; dark hair, dark eyes and a great figure.

  “Uncle Carter.” A little girl runs into his arms as if she hadn’t seen him in weeks. He swoops her up in a big hug, nuzzling her adorably.

  “Maddie, this is Gracie. Can you say hi?” The little girl with blondish bouncing curls looks at me with striking blue eyes and smiles.

  “Hi Gracie.” She says shyly. I take her hand gently, looking into her angelic face and smile.

  “Hi Maddie. How old are you?” I see a few freckles on her face close to her nose.

  “Seven.” She replies.

  “You’re beautiful.” I observe. She wraps her arms around her uncle’s neck and whispers something into his ear. He listens to what she is saying but is watching me.

  “Now Maddie, I know I taught you not to keep secrets.” Cassie chides.

  “Oh relax Cas, she was just telling me she thought Gracie was really pretty.” He looks back at me smiling and says, “That’s not a secret.” I roll my eyes and turn to Maddie.

  “Thank you for the compliment.” Carter sets her back down and she runs off.

  “So you’re the girl that my bonehead brother can’t shut up about.” A girl with brown hair and a streak of red right down the middle approaches me.

  “Uh, I guess.” I shrug.

  “Why do I have to be a bonehead? Geez, where’s the love Candice?” Carter teases his sister pretending to put her in a head lock. I soon realize the pattern of their names, beginning with ‘C’. Not sure why it really matters, but it seems fitting.

  “Well, I’m Candice in case you didn’t catch that.” Her blue eyes are similar to her brother’s but a shade darker.

  “I love your hair.” I comment.

  “Really? They totally fucked it up. I wanted it pink but the morons mixed the wrong color. Assholes.” Candace is shorter than Cassie but she has more of a muscular build to her like she works out daily. I smile.

  “Candice, language please.” Sylvia reprimands. She shrugs and walks out of the kitchen.

  “Shall we eat?” Sylvia gestures to the food set across the island and dazzles me with a warm smile. Already I feel at home.

  Chapter 32

  “So when do you find out the sex?” Sylvia asks as we eat a delicious lunch that consists of a fruit salad, turkey sandwiches and veggies that I’m not sure my stomach can hold down but I eat it anyway. I’ve gotten better at eating foods the baby needs since I was released from the hospital. Though I won’t deny there are times I am still a little queasy but for the most part it’s subsided.

  “In a week.” Saying it aloud reminds me of how close it really is when I can finally call my baby Hunter or Kylie. Excitement rolls through me like a tidal wave and I feel my cheeks heat up. “I find out in a week.” I repeat, smiling like an idiot.

  “That is awesome. Any preferences?” Cassie asks. I had been back and forth on wanting a boy or girl but after my encounter with Maddie, I think I want a girl just a little more. I love the idea of dressing up a little girl and having her become my little ballerina.

  “Either one is fine. I just want the baby to be healthy. Whatever God gives me, I’ll accept graciously.” Carter takes my hand in his under the table. I feel tingles shoot up through my fingers.

  After lunch, Sylvia clears the table. It’s only her and I left in the kitchen. I walk over to the sink where she’s doing the dishes.

  “Can I help?” I ask examining the stainless steel appliances.

  “Oh you don’t have to.”

  “No, it’s not a problem. I want to help.” And talk to her about her sister. Maybe I’ll understand the situation better, even though it’s not really my business. She hands me a dish towel and a plate to dry once she washes them. We work in silence for a while. I try to gather my wits and figure out a way to broach the subject without coming off as nosy.

  “Gracie, go ahead and ask.” Did I voice my thoughts out loud?

  “Ask what?” I’m stunned, but play dumb.

  “I know you have something you want to ask. I can tell by your disquiet. It sounds like you and Carter talk about a lot.” I stop what I’m doing, putting the dish on the counter and face her.

  “What was Nick like as a child?” She scratches her head in thought, biting her lower lip.

  “He was a good kid. I don’t know what he’s like now. I haven’t seen my nephew in years.” She lets out a breath and I immediately regret bringing it up. A frown crosses her pretty face.

  “But don’t you see him at school?”

  “When I see him, he avoids me. It’s like I don’t exist to him. I guess he still allows his mother to control him. I swear that woman has a death wish for me. I wish things were different. I miss her, having a sister close to talk to.” She’s looking off in the distance as if reliving a memory, then she pauses to look back at me. “I’m sorry Erin treats you like crap. It’s a shame that something happened between us, having nothing to do with the kids has to affect them this way. They’re family for God’s sake. The boys should be able to have a relationship.” My heart starts to ache for Sylvia and the fact that her own flesh and blood won’t acknowledge her. What an ass! Suddenly I know what I must do.

  “I really hope Nick grows up.” She fills a glass with water and takes a sip, not looking at me. “For the baby’s sake.” She adds.

  “Thank you for helping me. I think you’re going to be fine. Your mother has raised you right.” I hug her, feeling grateful for talking to me, unlike her selfish bitch of a sister.

  “You’re welcome. You have no idea how happy I am to know I can talk to you. I could never talk to Nick’s mom. She made me feel uncomfortable and very small.” Sylvia lets out a short laugh.

  “Erin hates everyone. Except herself of course. Don’t take it personally. Her future for Nick is strictly football and always has been. She has this crazy mindset that if he makes it Pro, he’ll be able to take care of her. So she won’t let anything stand in her way of that ridiculous dream. And to her, no girl is good enough for her son.” That explains a lot and yet that makes me more angry at it all. Nick is stupid for letting her control him. He has no balls apparently-or he does, but they are in his mother’s fucking hand. Disgraceful.

  “Gra
cie come here, I want to show you something.” Maddie tugs on my arm, smiling showing all her teeth. She’s so adorable! I let her lead me through the house and up the stairs. On the way, I notice pictures hanging on the walls. I stop and study one picture a family portrait. I recognize Cassie and Candice; they must have been about eight and ten. My eyes drift over Sylvia then move to Carter, who is in a man’s arms, smiling. He looks so much like his son. A smile touches my lips at how adorable Carter was as a child. A pang of sadness washes over me.

  “Gracie?” Maddie calls from the top of the stairs.

  “Sorry.” I mutter, following her.

  I walk into a room that is decked out in fairy and princess. I feel like I walked into a magical world. The walls are pink with a princess border and there’s pictures and posters covering two sides. I spin around slowly, taking it all in. I see a princess castle on the far wall by the window. A big Barbie house is on the other side with cars placed side by side.

  “Is this your room?” I ask in fascination.

  “Well when I stay here this is where I sleep. Wanna play Barbie’s with me?” Speechless and still in awe of the room, I move to the other side of the room next to her Barbie house. I glance at her window that is decorated with purple curtains partially opened, allowing the sunlight to spill through.

  “You know, I never had anyone to play Barbie’s with me.” I state. She looks surprised.

  “Really? My little sister is so bossy when she plays with me. I would rather play by myself, but that can get boring sometimes.” I brush one of the doll’s hair and sift through the clothes, finding a stunning dress to put her in. I don’t really like the message that Barbie’s send girls. Not all girls have stick figures and big boobs. I know they are just for fun, but young girls take it seriously, feeling like they have to be skinny to be beautiful. It just feels wrong. Society really fucks with our heads and self-esteem.