Power & Choice

by Lucy Smoke

“About halfway through, I started not feeling well. They let girls have sparkling water and juices for the most part, but some of the girls that were there spiked their drinks and I had some. I thought I had just had too much. One of the guys – a couple of family members of the girls and, I don’t know, sons that were from wealthy families were invited. They escorted some of the girls. My escort took me back to my room and I fell asleep.”

  “Or so I thought. I had the worst nightmare.” Her breath sped up again and this time, I reached over to take her hand. She squeezed it in hers, not bothering to look at me, and clutched at it like it was the only thing keeping her in the present. It felt good to finally be able to do something for her. “Someone came in,” she inhaled deeply, “and he undressed me. I-I couldn’t really move my legs or arms. My escort had practically had to carry me to my room. I was so limp. He just pulled down the top of my dress and slid the bottom up until I was bare.”

  My eyes burned and then it was I who was squeezing her hand. I held her like my own lifeline as she did me. Two girls sitting in a dance club bathroom each holding onto the other like we were all that was left in the world. There was something beautiful in our connection in that moment as more tears sprang to her eyes and began to roll down her cheeks once more. Something beautiful...and something tragic.

  “I faded,” she admitted, “I don’t remember most of it. I didn’t see his face. It was dark in my room. Usually, I would have kept it locked, but Cal – my escort – he didn’t have the key to lock it from the outside when he left. I laid there and sometimes I could feel cold hands on my thighs, around my neck...on my…” She gasped, her chest shuddering for air, and I couldn’t resist anymore. I grabbed her shoulders and jerked her towards me. She collapsed with heaving sobs against my chest, clutching at my shirt, at my hand. “I-I didn’t remember his face,” she cried. “I thought it was just a bad dream, a nightmare.” I leaned my head back and closed my eyes as I held her. “I wish it had been…”

  Her last words broke my heart and scattered the pieces over the bathroom tile. I clenched my teeth so hard, my jaw hurt. My nostrils burned. My eyes watered. I needed to ask her the question hanging in my mind...there was something missing.

  “How did you find out it wasn’t a dream?”

  She was quiet. So quiet, I thought she wouldn’t answer. Then, in the smallest voice, she whispered, “They sent me pictures.”

  Chapter 9

  Will you be okay?” I asked as the girl got into the cab on the corner of the sidewalk just in front of the dance club.

  She cast a sad smile back at me. “I’ll be fine.”

  Whether it was the truth or not, I couldn’t say. But what else could I do? I couldn’t stop her from leaving. I didn’t have the right. She paused before closing the door and looked back at me. “Thank you,” she said, “for listening.”

  I nodded. “I still think you should talk to someone. The police or a therapist or both. They can’t get away with this.”

  “Blackmail,” she said with a hollow laugh. “Who knew a freaking teenager could be blackmailed? Thanks for the advice, but I probably won’t take it.”

  With that she closed the door and the cab pulled away from the curb. I stood there on the sidewalk with the warm, summer night air brushing over my calves and arms. Inside of me, though, a fire burned hot. Overwhelming in its anger, the blaze shook me to my very core. It could not be a coincidence that I had met her...whoever she was. I realized I didn’t even know her name. For all I knew, she could have been Mr. Spencer’s step-daughter, Sarah. It was like I told Grayson, I didn’t believe in coincidences.

  I went back inside in search of Erika, surprised she hadn’t noticed that I was missing for so long. I found her at a different bar this time. There were three in the entire club and she, of course, was at the furthest one. When I reached her, and touched her arm to gain her attention, she whipped around and stumbled on her feet, obviously drunk.

  “Hey!” she yelled. “Harlow where’ve ya been, girl?” She smiled and draped an arm around my shoulders.

  “I’ve been in the bathroom,” I replied shortly as I noticed one of the guys from earlier sidle up close to her.

  “Who’s your friend, Baby?” I narrowed my gaze as the guy slid his hand around Erika’s middle.

  She shifted, uncomfortable, but tried to laugh. “This is my friend.” She enunciated each word, obviously drunk but wanting him to think that she was sober. “I came here with her.”

  “Yea.” I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from him. “We should really be going. I texted Knix, he’s sending Texas back to get us.”

  The guy frowned. “Hey, what’s the rush?” he asked. “We were having fun. Stay. I’ll buy your friend a drink if she wants one.”

  Erika shook her head and I had to catch her as she stumbled again. So much for trying to keep her inebriation under wraps. “Thank you for the offer,” I said, “but no thanks, we’re leaving.”

  “Fucking teasing bitch,” he muttered before turning away.

  Erika sighed and slumped against me. “I’m so glad you came when ya did, girl,” she slurred. “He’s a pushy pusher that one.” She paused. “Oh shhiiiittt, I wasn’t watching you.” Her eyes met mine and started to water. “I’m a bad fwend-fire-end. FRIEND!” Her eyes lost their misty sheen as she finally managed to get the word out correctly and she looked at me triumphantly.

  I rolled my eyes and hefted her against me, letting her use me as a walking crutch while we made our way towards the front of the club and back out onto the sidewalk. We only waited for a few minutes before Texas pulled up in the SUV. He got out, his wide eyes following Erika as she tried, and failed, to open the back door by herself. I sighed again and leaned around her, popping the handle and pushing her butt into the backseat of the vehicle. She fell, face down, and lay sprawled across the entire back. I left her like that, only reaching under her to wrap the middle seat belt around her waist for extra protection before I crawled back out and closed the door.

  “I got out to see if you needed any help,” Texas said with a frown. “But it looks like you’ve got it handled.” When I didn’t reply, his frown deepened. “How did she get drunk?” he asked. His eyes trailed down to the backs of my hands. I raised them, so he’d have a better view.

  “I think you know how,” I said, showing off my X-less hands before turning to climb into the front passenger seat.

  Texas looked at me for a moment, confusion plain on his face, but I was feeling too much. I couldn't say anything more when he climbed into the driver's seat next to me. Thankfully, he didn't force me to. We drove in silence – no talking, no radio – to Erika's parents' house and I gently helped her stumble in. Her father was dead asleep in his room and her mother was apparently working another overnight shift.

  When I got back into the SUV, Texas finally turned on the radio. The soft lilting sound of classic rock filled the silence between us. I thought about how I would convince Knix to let me – the entire team, hopefully – go to this camp. I was angry right now, I knew. I was furious. I wanted to hurt someone, punch something, break something. I couldn't breathe right if I thought about the girl's face and tears and pain. It was a heavy weight in my chest that I knew I couldn't keep bottled for long. If I tried, I would explode.

  We pulled up to the house and all of the lights were on. Knix was standing out front with his arms crossed and a stormy expression on his face. I looked at Texas. "You told him?" How could he have – while I had been inside, putting Erika to bed, I realized. All he would have had to do was send him a quick text. Texas glanced at me, an apology clear in his eyes. I frowned at him. "Thanks a lot," I snapped.

  "I'm sorry, Harlow, but it's my responsibility to tell him everything that involves the team."

  I didn't reply as we ascended the front steps. "Inside." Knix said. I trudged by him into the house with my fists curled tightly.

  Marv and Bellamy were already sitting in the living room. Marv, dressed the same as he w
as before, in his classically semi-formal attire. The only difference was that his top buttons were undone, and his sleeves were rolled up. Bellamy wore sweats and a t-shirt. I sat down on a chair separate from the others, though there were open spaces next to the guys. My anger was building and though I knew it wasn’t good, I didn't want to sit near them because they could easily diffuse it. It was harder to be mad at them or mad in general when they made me smile.

  Knix and Texas walked in behind me and Texas took a seat while Knix remained standing. "Would you like to tell us what happened tonight?" he asked.

  I gritted my teeth and cracked my neck as I looked at him before directing my gaze to Marv. "I met one of the girls that went to Ms. Enders' Etiquette Camp."

  All four of them started, confused. That had obviously not been what they expected me to say. Marv sat forward, a frown marring his handsome face.

  "What–" he began.

  "Wait." Knix held up a hand. All eyes moved to him. "Let's go in order. We will get to that in a moment." He looked at me again. "Were you drinking tonight?"

  "I had a few drinks," I admitted.

  Knix sighed as though it was difficult for him to stand there and be the disapproving one. "You're underage, Harlow."

  "I know it was wrong," I said, "but I'm eighteen. It's not like I'm twelve. I'm old enough that, if I wanted to, I could go into the army and go to war."

  "And if you were in the army, they would let you have a beer on base, but Harlow – none of us were there with you tonight. Not only are you underage, but you're a woman. As much as I hate to say this, you need to be more careful."

  I bristled. "I was with Erika."

  "Yea? And where is she now?" he replied. I bit my lip and looked away. Knix sighed again. "I know it's not fair, Harlow. I know it's not right. But you are a woman and you are eighteen, not twenty-one. Not only is it against the law, it's not safe, especially for you. You're young and pretty," I blinked at that, "someone could have slipped something into your drinks and taken advantage of you." That reminder rockets through my core. I saw pale, pain-filled eyes and the broken expression on the girl from earlier as her sobs echoed in the quiet, cold dance club bathroom with a total stranger. He was right. I didn't want that to happen to me. But I didn't want it to happen to anyone else either.

  "Okay," I said.

  "Okay?" Knix frowned. "Okay, what?"

  "I knew it was wrong," I said. "I did it anyway. I won't do it again. Or if I do, I'll do it with one of the guys. I know it's not safe."

  Knix shook his head. "I'm sorry, Harlow. That's not good enough. You broke the rules?"

  "The rules?"

  "'Iris members will not enter into dangerous situations without the permission and approval of the team or team lead,'" he quotes. I remember the line from one of the packets Texas had given me when I moved in and had officially started my training.

  "I was in public," I stated, "with a friend and you knew I was going."

  "I said you could go to a dance club to dance, Harlow. Not to drink."

  "So, what?" I snapped, standing. "You're my father now? My parent? I've taken care of one parent and I don't have the other, Knix. I don't need a third."

  "Well, you need someone to look after you," he said sternly.

  "No, I don't," I said through clenched teeth.

  "Hey," Bellamy stood and held his hands out to the both of us. "Harlow is still new," he said, looking to Knix. "She's still learning."

  "She was given the packets and the information regarding Iris that she wanted. She asked to be in and now she is," Knix replied.

  "Information? You've given me information?" I ask, incredulous. "You haven't given me anything! I'm still in the dark and I technically work for Iris now."

  "And you went out tonight and drank with strangers," Knix replied, stepping forward. I didn't back down. Instead, I tilted my head up and met his hard gaze head-on. "You're obviously not ready for more."

  "Knix, I agree that Harlow shouldn't have been drinking – especially not without anyone there to look out for her," Marv interjected. "She's admitted her mistake and agreed not to do it again without one of us present. I think you're being too harsh."

  I looked back at him, surprised by his willingness to back me up. He wasn't looking at me, though. His gaze was on Knix who heaved a frustrated breath.

  "She has admitted to and agreed not to do it again," Texas said quietly.

  I looked over at him. I was angry that he had been the one to facilitate this, but he was unusually quiet in the group. He sat in the corner of the couch, with his arms folded across his lean chest and his chin tilted away. The dark strands of his hair fell over one side of his face as if he had rolled out of bed to come get me.

  Silence stretched through the room. Knix's body was just as tense as mine. Bellamy looked like he wanted to come between us, but he held back. "One penalty," Knix finally said.

  "One penalty what?" I asked.

  "A penalty is a punishment from the team," Bellamy explained. "It's when a team member does something that's against the rules or that the team doesn't agree with as a whole. It usually means you've lost a measure of trust."

  "How have I lost your trust?" I demanded. "You knew I was going!"

  "But we didn't know you would be drinking," he said. "Harlow, we don't like it when any of us go off to drink alone. It's worse with you because you're a woman and you're underage. It's not so much that you were drinking, but that you didn't tell us, and in fact, implied you wouldn't be drinking at all."

  "I didn't say that," I defended.

  "You didn't have to."

  I frowned, but the expression on all of their faces said this wasn't something I could get out of. With a frustrated growl, I gave in. "Fine. What's the penalty?"

  "Extra training," Knix replied. "Tomorrow. With Bellamy and Texas."

  "That's it?" I asked, shocked.

  "You won't be saying that tomorrow," Bellamy said.

  I huffed a breath. "Fine, extra training. Tomorrow."

  "Now, about the girl," Marv said.

  My chest tightened and my eyes stung as I turned away from Knix. "I met a girl tonight that said she went to Ms. Enders’ Etiquette Camp and... she confirmed it," I said. “Our suspicions...we were right.”

  "Was she...?"

  I didn't blame him for not being able to say it. It was hard enough just to think it. "Yes," I said. "She said she was raped." The room grew dark. The expressions on their faces became deeply horrified and furious.

  "And she...has she..." Marv choked on his words as if it was difficult to speak.

  "She doesn't know by who," I answered his unasked question. "She said she thought it was a bad dream...before they started sending her pictures."

  Realization flashes across his face while the rest of the guys remain eerily quiet. "That's where the money is going," he said. "They're being blackmailed."

  "She hasn't told her family or anyone," I replied.

  "Knix," Marv stood and reached for me, pulling me even further away from Knix, drawing me towards his side. He held my arm like if he didn't, something would happen, and I'd slip away from him. "Alex?"

  "Alex is still on the fence about this," Knix said through gritted teeth.

  "Can we call the police?" I asked. When all four of them shook their heads, I couldn't stifle my surprise. "Why the hell not?"

  "She hasn't reported it," Knix said. "She's not going to. It's been too long for the police to be able to do anything. For something like this...they really need to have the timing right."

  "They can track the phone number that she's receiving messages from, right?"

  Knix nodded. "What was the girl's name? Maybe we can get into contact with her family.”

  I froze. “She didn’t tell me,” I admitted. “I don’t think she would have even if I had asked.”

  “Shit.” Marv growled low in his throat and turned away, pacing across the room. “Does this make four?” he asked. I couldn’t tell if he m
eant to ask me or if he was asking the room. I don’t think he knew either. “Four women – girls – Knix, please tell Alex that we’re doing something about this?”

  I glanced back at Knix. His face had changed. It was strained. “You know I don’t have the authority to make this call,” he said.

  “Fuck!” I jumped as Marv grabbed a phone – his phone – from the side table and threw it across the room. It hit the wall, the noise ricocheting loudly through the room. “Knix!”

  “I’ll talk to Alex tomorrow,” Knix replied quickly. “Marv, don’t worry. Even if we can’t do anything–”

  “I want to come,” Marv insisted.

  “That’s fine,” Knix agreed readily. I watched with wide eyes. Marv’s whole frame shook and trembled with tightly contained rage. I understood it. I felt it too.

  “I want to go too,” I said.

  All eyes turned back to me.

  “You’re training tomorrow,” Knix reminded me. “It’s your penalty.”

  “I want to go to the camp,” I clarified.

  The silence echoed.

  “No.” Surprisingly, Bellamy was the first to reply. “No way.” Marv continued to stare at me. The rest of the guys were quiet. “You’re not going,” Bellamy said.

  “I’ll talk to Alex tomorrow,” Knix repeated.

  Bellamy’s gaze whipped to him. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I was already going to go see him,” Knix replied.

  “But you’re going to really consider her for this? She’s still new; she hasn’t completed training–”

  “We’ll see what Alex says,” Knix interrupted sternly. There was a rumbling of discontent in the room and though I wanted to reaffirm that, whether they liked it or not, I did want to go. I also didn’t want to strike up more of that discontent.

  It seemed that I didn’t have to, however, because in the next moments Marv was shaking his head. “No,” he stated firmly, “there is no way in hell she’s going.”

  “Marv…” Knix attempted some sort of reassurance, but I could tell he wasn’t quite sure how to take Marv’s attitude.