The Bachelor's Baby Dilemma (Family Renewal)

by Sheri WhiteFeather

  Once it was time to leave, he took charge of the supplies, gathering everything together. He slung the diaper bag over his arm, too. Candy carried Ivy, and they headed home.

  With the little alien who’d been entrusted to Tanner.

  * * *

  From the moment Candy held Ivy, she’d fallen instantly in love, and now she was settled into the big padded rocker in the nursery, cradling the baby in her arms.

  Meagan’s baby, she reminded herself. The newborn swaddled against her belonged to someone else. Yet Candy had committed the next two years of her life to this precious child.

  Tanner sat on the daybed, watching her. The situation seemed surreal. Never had she imagined sharing a child with her first boyfriend. Even if an angel had flown down from heaven and told her this would be happening, she might not have believed it.

  And what angel would have done that? Ella? Tanner had told her that Meagan thought of their lost sister as an angel.

  Did that make Candy’s lost baby an angel, too?

  She glanced over at Tanner. He hadn’t said much since they’d gotten home. Mostly he just shadowed her and the baby.

  “Do you want to hold Ivy?” she asked.

  “Not yet.”

  “She’s going to need to be fed again soon.” Candy had already given her a bottle earlier. She’d changed diapers, too. He hadn’t done anything, except look like a panicked new uncle. “You should feed her this time.”

  “That’s okay. You can do it.”

  “You’re going to have to learn to care for her, Tanner.”

  “I know, but it’s only the first day.”

  “I have classes two nights a week, and you’ll be watching her by yourself while I’m gone. That’s going to bite you in the butt if you’re not ready for it.”

  He rose from his spot on the daybed, but he didn’t come any closer. “I’ll just observe what you’re doing for now.”

  “Come on, give it a try and hold her.”

  “What if she cries the minute I take her?”

  “It’ll be fine.” Candy got up, offering him the rocker. “Just relax, and I’ll put her in your arms.”

  “I don’t want to do anything to upset her.”

  “You won’t.” Not with how cautiously he was behaving.

  He sat in the rocker, looking apprehensive. But he looked strong and capable, too, surrounded by the magic they’d created in this room. Castles, winged horses and unicorns. And falling stars, she thought, the most important ingredient of all.

  She transferred Ivy into his arms, and he reacted automatically, protecting her head and neck.

  “See?” Candy said, a lump forming in her throat. “A piece of cake. No tears, no problems. You’ve got this.”

  He touched his niece’s hand, tracing the tininess of it, and she reacted to the stimuli, wrapping her fingers around one of his.

  He flashed a proud smile. “Look at that. She’s holding on to me already.”

  “Yes, she most certainly is.” Seeing him with Ivy made her long even more for what she’d lost. But she knew she shouldn’t be thinking about that, so she focused on how wonderful he and Ivy were together.

  He skimmed the infant’s cheek, ever so lightly. Then he glanced up and whispered, “Why is the top of her head shaped like a cone?”

  Candy smiled at his question. Had he lowered his voice to keep Ivy from hearing him? Was he concerned that his niece was going to think he was criticizing her, even if she was too young to comprehend his words?

  She replied, “That happens to lots of newborns when they pass through the birth canal. Some are just more pronounced than others.” And poor little Ivy’s was particularly pointy. “It should round in the next day or so.”

  “I figured it must be okay, but I wasn’t sure. Can you imagine how other kids would pick on her if it never went away?” He gazed down at the bundle in his arms. “I don’t want anyone to hurt my little girl. Not ever.”

  His little girl. The reference tugged desperately at her heart. There he was, slipping into the moment, bonding with Ivy. The very thing Candy hoped would happen.

  “Will her eyes clear up, too?” he asked, still speaking in a whisper. “I don’t know if you noticed, but they’re a bit crossed.”

  Yes, she’d noticed. And his concern was making him seem like the most amazing man in the world. Husband material. Daddy material. Everything he insisted that he wasn’t.

  Fighting the feeling, she steadied her breath, warning herself not to go wannabe wife on him.

  “Will they?” he asked.

  She merely stared at him. “I’m sorry. What?”

  “Will her eyes clear up?”

  She snapped to attention. “Yes, they will. That’s typical in newborns.”

  “What causes it?”

  “I think it’s just the development of the nerves and muscles. But in some cases, it’s also caused by an extra fold of skin in the inner corners of the eyes that creates a cross-eyed look. But those folds disappear as they grow, so that isn’t anything to worry about, either.”

  “I didn’t want to say anything at the hospital, but I probably should have spoken up, just to be certain.”

  “We’re supposed to take her to a pediatrician later this week for her first checkup, and you can talk to him about it, if it makes you feel better. We’ll take her to the appointment the hospital set up for us, then later we can use Jude’s doctor since he’s closer.”

  “How often will we have to go?”

  “Every few months, I think. The doctor will tell us—”

  “Waaaaa!” Without warning, Ivy let out a wail that was bigger than she was.

  “Oh, shoot!” Tanner wrapped her tighter in his arms, rocking her, jiggling her, trying to make her stop. “Is it my fault? Did I do something wrong?”

  “No, no. It’s nothing you did.” Candy forced herself to remain calm, even if it was the first time the baby had cried. “She probably just needs to eat. I told you it would be time to feed her soon.”

  “Then you should take her.”

  “I can’t fix her bottle and carry her at the same time. Just hang on, and I’ll be right back.” He needed to keep holding Ivy, even in the middle of a tear storm. It was simply something he would have to get used to.

  Still, she rushed off, nearly bumping into Yogi in the hallway. The dog had surfaced to see what was wrong. Before now, the Lab hadn’t seemed concerned about having a newborn in the house.

  Between Tanner’s anxiety and Ivy’s angry wails, Candy knew how Yogi felt. It did seem like an emotional emergency.

  “Don’t worry, girl,” she told her dog. “I’ve got it under control.”

  Luckily, the formula was already prepared. All she had to do was remove one of the bottles from the fridge and heat it.

  The process took less than five minutes, but it seemed like forever with Ivy screaming for her meal.

  Candy returned to the nursery and handed the bottle to Tanner. “You might as well do the honors.”

  He didn’t hesitate. He brought the nipple up to Ivy’s mouth, and she latched on to it without a hitch.

  Silence, Candy thought, except for the sweet sound of suckling. The baby’s tantrum was over. Tanner seemed calmer, too, even if he was staring at the little person in his arms as if making one false move might cause her to go ballistic again—which, of course, she very well could.

  “Am I doing this right?” he asked.

  “Yes. Absolutely.” Candy stood back and watched. He was cradling his niece in a semi-upright position and angling the bottle so the milk filled the nipple, keeping Ivy’s chances of getting a tummy ache down to a minimum. Regardless of how overwhelmed he was, he had caregiver instincts.

  For the duration of the feeding, he didn’t tak
e his eyes off of the baby or the bottle.

  But once she stopped nursing, he looked up and asked, “What do I do now? I think she’s full.”

  “You need to burp her.”

  “I have no idea how to do that.”

  “I can teach you.” She draped a small pastel-printed towel over his shoulder. “This is in case she spits up,” she told him, much too aware of the striking contrast it made against the rugged fabric of his shirt. Even with a little infant cozy in his arms, he seemed dark and wild, with his piercing gray eyes and masculine vibe.

  He shot the towel a suspicious glance. “What if she does more than spits up? What if she full-on pukes?”

  Candy bit back a smile. “Then it will be your introduction to baby barf. But let’s hope that doesn’t happen.”

  “No kidding.”

  “You’re doing great, Tanner. Truly, you are.” So well, she had to keep reminding herself not to get husband designs on him. But before she dwelled too deeply on that, she concentrated on the child in their care. “Lift her up and hold her firmly against your shoulder, then pat her back. But be sure to support her with your other arm.”

  “I feel like I’m going to hurt her, moving her around like this.”

  “She’s a perfectly healthy baby, and there’s no reason for you to worry about something as natural as burping her.”

  “Okay. Here goes.” He followed the directions, going step by step. But nothing happened.

  “Try it again,” Candy said. “You can use a rubbing motion, too, and see if that works.”

  Keeping Ivy propped against his shoulder, he did as he was told, but it didn’t produce the desired results.

  “Is this how you burped her?” he asked, after several more failed attempts. “Did it work for you?”

  “Yes. But there are other methods. Sometimes the same one doesn’t work the next time around.” She suggested that he put the baby facedown on his lap.

  He tried that position, and as cute as Ivy looked stretched across him in her drawstring nightgown, with her wispy hair poking straight up, it was to no avail.

  He patted. He rubbed. He struck out.

  “Maybe she doesn’t have any gas,” he said.

  “Oh, it’s in there. Bottle-fed newborns tend to swallow more air than the ones who are breast-fed. Besides, her stomach is only about the size of a golf ball. She can’t keep air and food in there at the same time.”

  “All right, then. What’s the next method?” He seemed determined to make it happen.

  Candy coached him along. “Sit her up on your lap and lean her forward, but make sure her neck and head are supported, like you’ve been doing. Then once you have her in place, you can give it another go.”

  He made the switch, and after applying a few circular pats, he got what he wanted. His niece burped. But it wasn’t a delicate little sound of relief. She belched like a truck driver after too many beers.

  In the silence that followed, Candy looked at Tanner, and they burst out laughing.

  “I guess she told us.” He grabbed the towel from his shoulder and wiped a dribble of milky spit from the infant’s mouth.

  “Do you want me to take her now?” she asked, in case he was ready for a break.

  “No. That’s okay. I’ve got her.” He lifted Ivy back into his arms and rocked her, content with a job well-done.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bedtime presented a problem. As the time got closer, Tanner became anxious again. Candy should have expected as much.

  Ivy had been taking catnaps since they’d brought her home, dozing in their arms or napping in the cradle that they moved from room to room, where they could watch her. But putting her down for the night was a major ordeal for Tanner.

  “I think I should sleep in the nursery,” he said.

  “Instead of me sleeping in there?”

  “No. I think both of us should.”

  She empathized with how protective he was, but she didn’t want him driving himself crazy. Nor did she want to share a room with him, even with a baby between them.

  For now, she and Tanner were in the living room in front of the TV, with his niece just a few feet away, nestled in the cradle.

  “Just let me sleep in the nursery by myself,” she said. “I’ll take excellent care of her. Falling Star will keep her safe, too,” she added, hoping to appeal to his Cheyenne side. “He’ll catch her before she falls. He’ll keep the monsters away.”

  “That’s a lovely sentiment. But you’re not going to talk me out of this.”

  She tried another tactic. “There’s not enough room for all of us.” The daybed was only big enough for one adult. Not that she would allow Tanner to sleep with her anyway. But it still didn’t make sense. “Where are you going to bunk down?”

  “I’ll crash out on the floor in a sleeping bag.”

  She made a new argument. “Being in the same room defeats the purpose. We’ll both wake up when she cries and neither of us will get any sleep.”

  “That’s what lots of other parents do. You told me that yourself. They keep their newborns in their rooms with them.”

  “Need I remind you that we’re not the parents?”

  “Come on, Candy. You know that I wasn’t implying that we were. Besides, this isn’t going to be anything like that.”

  “Then what’s it going to be like?”

  “Just two people looking after a kid. I’ll probably be up most of the night anyway. I’m going to read those books so I can get caught on up on this baby stuff.”

  “It will be too dim in there for that. Ivy’s night-light isn’t intended for reading. And if you keep the main light on, it will shine in my eyes.”

  “My e-reader has a light attached to it. It won’t bother you.”

  Apparently he had an answer for everything. “All right. We’ll do it your way. But just for tonight.”

  He made a shooing motion. “Go get dressed for bed. Then I’ll get ready when you’re done.”

  Obviously they were taking turns so one of them would be available to keep an eye on Ivy. Of course, at the moment, the baby was wide-awake, sucking on a pacifier and completely unaware that her uncle was being neurotic.

  “Go.” He shooed her again.

  “Okay, okay.” She did as he demanded. But she didn’t put on her usual pajamas. She went for a modest ensemble of yoga pants and an oversize T-shirt. No way was she going to sleep in the same room with him without being completely covered.

  After she brushed her teeth, washed her face and put her hair in a loose ponytail, she returned to him.

  He gave her a curious glance. “What’s with the baggy top?”

  “I’m comfy this way.”

  He shot her a silly grin. “You’re just trying to look less enticing.”

  “Shut up, Tanner.” She didn’t need to be called out by him. “At least I have the good sense to be proper.”

  He shrugged and left to do his thing. While he was gone, she touched Ivy’s chubby cheek. Just being near the baby made her heart bubble.

  As for the uncle...

  He was one gorgeous heap of trouble. He came back looking like an athlete in a magazine ad, wearing a pair of sweat shorts.

  Fighting the urge to stare, to admire every ridge and plane, every muscle, every tall, dark part of him, she glanced away. She couldn’t reprimand him for wearing shorts, but to her, it didn’t seem much different from last night when he’d been in his underwear.

  The less fuss she made about his partial state of undress, the less important it would become. She would just have to get used to seeing him half-clothed.

  Without commenting on his attire, she removed Ivy from the cradle and carried her into the nursery.

  Tanner got his sleeping bag and spread it out on
the floor, near the daybed.

  She placed Ivy in the crib and both of them gazed lovingly at her. Like new parents. Like everything they weren’t supposed to be. Was she going to have to get used to that, too?

  He asked, “Did you turn on the monitor?”

  “Yes. I made sure the settings were correct, too.” Not only did it detect sounds, the sensor pad that went under the mattress was designed to set off an alarm if no movement or no breathing was detected.

  He said, “I don’t even know if they made that type of monitor when Ella was born. If they did, my family didn’t have one.” He paused. “I hope it works as well as it’s supposed to.”

  She tried to reassure him. “Dana and Eric never had any trouble with theirs.”

  “We still have to be careful not to put Ivy on her stomach.”

  “I know.” According to the experts, a primary risk factor in SIDS was babies sleeping on their stomachs. But rather than dwell on that, she said, “She hasn’t cried much.”

  “No, but when she does, boy can she scream.” He moved closer to the crib. “She really is beautiful, isn’t she?”

  “I thought she was perfect from the moment I first saw her.”

  “I didn’t. She looked like she was from outer space to me, instead of the superhero we talked about. But now I’m thinking that she’s a princess who hails from a star, like the way some superheroes are from other planets.” A smile stole across his face. “She gets her power from her pointy head. Even when it rounds out, she’ll still be a superbaby.”

  “That’s sweet, Tanner.” A beautiful story for a beautiful child. Going warm and fuzzy, she studied him from beneath her lashes. Who wouldn’t be touched by his imagination?

  He leaned over the rail and smoothed his niece’s flyaway hair. “What a kid, huh? She’s already got me wrapped around those tiny fingers.”

  “Me, too.” She wasn’t going to downplay her emotions, not when it came to Ivy. “But that’s what babies do to people. I adored my little one as soon as it was conceived.”

  “I wonder if you would’ve had a boy or a girl.”