Because I Love You 2

by A'zayler

  “Okay, I’m going to tell you what I know, you’re going to tell me what you know. Then, we’re going to piece together our stories to possibly understand why you’ve been right under my nose all this time, and I didn’t know it.”

  I nodded.

  “Your mother and I dated in high school. She got pregnant the following summer. We’d both talked about having you, the type of life we wanted to give you, and a bunch of other shit, but I ended up getting locked up for fifteen years right after your second birthday.”

  “Why?” My concern for him and having to spend all those years in jail was so real. I could feel myself getting sad about it.

  “Murder.” He kept his eyes on me, clearly not ashamed of his actions at all. “Armed robbery and a bunch of other stupid shit that could have been avoided. I was just young and trying to take care of y’all, but that’s not important. Me and your mama kept in contact for like the first three years, then she ended up falling in love with one my niggas, De’Angelo. You know him?”

  I nodded because I did. I hated De’Angelo with everything in me; I hated him.

  “Well, she ended up being with that nigga and cutting me off. I used to write and call her all the time, but she never responded. I would communicate with Ms. Kate to check on you, but that faded when she got ill.”

  I swallowed the lump in my throat upon hearing my grandma’s name and thinking about how bad she’d gotten at the end of her life. Her death was still so hard for me to accept, so I continued to push it to the back of my mind. Whenever I pondered too long, I’d cry all day, and it took me forever to shake back. She had really been my backbone and everything I’d ever needed.

  “You can cry, baby girl. Her death hurt me too.” Pat’s voice had softened.

  Tears came, but I didn’t let them fall. I needed to stay strong. “How…” I cleared my throat. “How’d you know she was sick? We didn’t have any family for real.”

  “I used to have my niggas bring money and shit by the crib. One day, one of them went, and he told me that you told him she was in the hospital.”

  “Wow,” I said more to myself than him. “I remember that day. It was after graduation.” I held my head down and wiped my tears away. “She couldn’t even come, and my mama, well…”

  “Your mama ain’t shit.”

  “Don’t talk about her. She did what she could.”

  Pat adamantly shook his head. “Nah, she wasn’t shit. Believe me, I know.”

  “How would you know? You weren’t even there. At least she was there!” I snapped at him before I knew it.

  “I’m getting to that.” He held his hand up as if to tell me to calm down. “Like I said, your mother ended up with that nigga De’Angelo. Once she got with him, she cut all contact. I don’t know what type of shit the nigga had her on, but she started doing a whole bunch of foul things that ended her up…” He paused.

  “Dead?”

  He nodded and just watched me, probably checking for my reaction.

  “What was she doing? And how did you know?”

  “Streets talked, and you don’t need to know what she was doing. Think of her the way you’ve been thinking of her. Tell me what you know about her death.”

  I sniffed hard. “Nothing, really. All I know is that I had to go identify her body. She was in a storm drain. De’Angelo had strangled her and shot her in the face.”

  Pat nodded. “She set him up to be robbed.”

  “Well, he got what he deserved.”

  “I agree. I made sure of that.”

  My eyes grew wide. “You killed him?”

  Pat nodded. “As soon as I touched back down.”

  He bent down and picked up the bottle of Remy next to his leg. After a long swallow, he frowned while twisting the cap back onto it and setting it back on the floor.

  “I came to find you but didn’t have a clue where you were or what had happened to you. It was like you’d vanished, and since I hadn’t seen you since you were two, I didn’t have the slightest idea what you looked like.”

  His revelations were so accurate and sincere that it was hard for me to hold on to my attitude, especially after hearing about what he’d done for my mother. To do something like that for a person who had done you dirty either took some serious loyalty or some serious love. Maybe both. I could tell by the sound of his voice when he spoke of her that her betrayal had cut him deep. He couldn’t hide that from me. If I knew nothing else, I knew how pain sounded.

  “I must have gotten my heart from you. I’m loyal like that.” I sniffed and wiped my face. “Even after people hurt me, I’m still there.”

  “Don’t be like that, baby girl. I’ve been through a lot of dumb shit because of my heart. Treat these muthafuckas how they treat you.”

  “I try, I just never can.”

  “From the shit I’ve heard, yes you can.”

  He and I both laughed. I had to agree with that.

  “These niggas said you’re cold out here. Fighting and shit. I heard that mouth is something to be reckoned with too, and I just saw that for myself.”

  We shared another laugh.

  “With the shit I do, I have to be like that.” I covered my mouth and widened my eyes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to cuss in front of you like that.”

  After hearing his thoughts and reasoning, he had my respect. I hadn’t given two fucks about him at first, but he sounded more like a daddy the more I sat with him. My grandma didn’t tolerate disrespect, so I had manners, even when I acted like I didn’t.

  Pat waved me off with a slight frown. “Don’t sweat that shit. You’re grown, express yourself. I appreciate the respect, though, baby girl.”

  I loved hearing him refer to me as baby girl. I wanted to be his baby girl. I wanted any type of love he sent my way.

  “But shid, that dementia had your grandma down bad. She ain’t remember shit when I went to see her, so I was stuck there. Then, after questioning damn near everybody in Dade about you, I ended up with nothing. Nobody knew where you were or who you were. I knew you were out there, so I never stopped looking. I would sit at the hospital with Ms. Kate for hours hoping you would come, but you never did.”

  “I couldn’t watch her like that. It broke my heart, so I would spend the night with her, but that was it. And I didn’t have a lot of friends in school because I was always dirty and always had an attitude. A few months before she passed, I met Master and closed myself off from everybody. Nobody knew Azayna, just Dream.”

  The distaste on his face was loud and clear, but he didn’t address it. “I heard.” He cleared his throat. “That’s how I found you. One of my li’l niggas saw you at the party house with BB’s wife. Said he was trying to push up on you, and ole girl called you Azayna.” Pat smiled. “He was happy as hell to call me about that shit. He said he knew there was nobody else with that name. He sent me a picture of you.”

  That drew a frown from me. I didn’t have one recollection of that. I shook my head because I really needed to start watching my surroundings.

  “As soon as I saw your face, I knew it was you. You look just like your mama.” His smile faded some as he sat back on the sofa and stretched out, giving way to his large beer belly. “I’d heard the name Dream a few times from my young niggas, but I ain’t pay that shit no mind. They were pissy about you only fucking with them Blood niggas.” He chuckled. “You on the wrong side, baby girl.”

  “I don’t fool with your kind.”

  “You don’t need to be doing none of this shit.”

  I held my hand up to stop him before he got on his soapbox and came for me. “I had to get it after my grandma died. I met Master, and he took care of me, so I stayed out of loyalty.”

  “Loyalty?”

  “Yep, he was the only person there when my grandma died. He even paid for her funeral.”

  Pat’s frown grew harder. “No, the fuck he didn’t. I did.”

  “What?” I was flabbergasted. “He told me he paid for it.”

>   “Baby girl, listen.” Pat sat up on the sofa and rested his arms on his knees. “I paid for that funeral. I was in the street and had shit to do, but I wanted you, so I kept people at the hospital at all times. When my youngin’ hit me and let me know she was gone, I hit him off with some cash to handle that shit. I came to the hospital again, hoping to catch you, but y’all was already gone, leaving me in the same fucking position.” He pointed at me. “You made it hard as shit to find you.”

  “Oh my gosh.” I sighed.

  All that time, I’d thought it was Master who had taken care of everything, and he’d let me believe it. That bastard. I remembered that day as if it were yesterday. I’d gotten the call and rushed there. The nurse had an envelope filled with money, and the word Daddy scribbled on the front. Fuck! I palmed my forehead. Daddy meant my real daddy, not my pimp. I shook my head.

  “This is unbelievable. He really let me think it was him.”

  “He’s a pimp, baby girl. It’s his job to manipulate you.”

  I was so outdone that I ended up reaching for his alcohol and drinking from it while he watched with a smirk on his face.

  “Damn, it’s that bad, huh?”

  “Yes! I stayed with Master all this time thinking he’d been there for me. I was really loyal to a liar.”

  “It’s the game. You just have to be smart about your moves. Can’t believe everything a nigga tells you. You have to feel them out first and follow your gut. It’ll never lead you wrong.”

  I paused, thinking of something completely off subject. “My gut feels good with Egypt.” I watched him carefully, waiting for his reaction.

  He didn’t say anything at first, just slowly nodded his head. “How does his gut feel about you?”

  I blushed and smiled. “I think he likes me. We’ve been together for the past few days, and I can feel it.”

  “What about his actions? They match his words?”

  My mind went to his gifts and the kiss behind the gas station. I felt like he tried to show me his feelings; he just wasn’t as used to it as he probably should be by now. Then again, we were both in compromising positions, so we had to do what we could. I was sure that with time, he’d get better.

  “Yes sir, he’s trying.”

  Pat smiled. “Look at you saying yes sir and shit, treating me like I’m your daddy.”

  We were both laughing again, his stopping before mine. He was right, I had thrown that in there. Respect was serious to me, and hearing that he’d never given up on me made me feel good. My gut felt like he was worthy of a chance.

  “You are.”

  “I am, baby girl.” He nodded and just smiled at me. “I want us to have a real relationship.”

  “Me too!”

  He chuckled at my eagerness. “We will. I’m here for you no matter what. You gon’ have to stop that shit you doing, though. No daughter of mine is gon’ be out here serving up these dirty, broke, perverted ass niggas. You deserve better, baby girl. You’re worth more than that. I understand you had to make a life for yourself, but everything you need from now on, I’ll take care of it.”

  “Egypt told me the same thing,” I mumbled while playing with my fingers.

  His eyebrows raised. “Did he?”

  “Yeah, I told you he likes me. He hates me doing that.”

  “He should if he’s your man.”

  “He isn’t yet, though.”

  Pat looked down at his ringing phone. “If he’s laying up over there, he gon’ have to be something. You ain’t about to let no nigga be all up in your spot fucking off with no commitment.” He shook his head. “It’s too much shit out here. You need to fuck with one nigga, and one nigga only, and he better be serious enough to protect your health and well-being while doing it. If he can’t do that, then you don’t need him.”

  I smiled at the possessiveness in his voice regarding my life and what I wanted. I even noticed that he was okay with Egypt being my man. When I’d mentioned him at Master’s house, he hadn’t been for it at all.

  “So, you’re going to let him live?”

  “You act like you love the li’l punk ass nigga, so for now, he’s good, but the first time he does some shit to you that I don’t like, I’m canceling his ass.”

  “No, you can’t do that. Relationships have problems,” I pleaded with Pat. It was so easy to fall into this daddy daughter role now that I had all the facts.

  Pat smirked and shook his head with one side of his nose turned up. “I can’t believe you really like that li’l rowdy fucka. You couldn’t find a nice li’l nigga that ain’t in the streets.”

  “Nope, I like Egypt.”

  “I’m sorry, baby girl, but your nigga has a pussy ass name, so he’s automatically a bitch in my book. I don’t like him.”

  I giggled heartily listening to him insult Egypt. “At least he has heart. Egypt is one of the toughest dudes I’ve ever met, and real. There’s no bitch in him, and there’s nothing pussy about the way he moves. I’ll bet my life on that.”

  Pat looked at me with a funny expression on his face. “Oh, I know that. His li’l stupid ass is the one who sprayed on my people at the party house. I can see that the li’l bitch is ’bout it, but I still don’t fuck with him.”

  “Why you have to talk about him like that?” I was frowning like hell at him for talking about my baby like.

  “I’m your daddy, I’m supposed to hate the niggas you like.”

  There he was again, showing me the love I craved. “I guess you’re right.”

  “I am, but check this out. Take that truck out there, it’s yours. I ain’t want that red shit anyway. It’s been parked since I got it from this nigga who owed me money that he didn’t have.” He stood to his feet, and like I’d been doing all day, I followed. “God’s timing is perfect too because I was about to sell it to this other nigga this weekend just to get it out my driveway. I feel better about giving it to you. I want to do shit for you.”

  I smiled and grabbed his arm, squealing with excitement. “Thank you!”

  “No thanks needed, baby girl. I owe you everything, so I’ma make sure you get it.”

  When we were back outside, he opened the door and helped me in. He stood on the black pipes on the side, showing me all of the stuff that I needed to about know to work it before stepping back down.

  “That shit looks like it belongs to you. You look good, baby girl.” He smiled proudly. “Don’t have none of them li’l sucka ass bloods in your whip either.”

  “Only Egypt.” I smiled down at him.

  He smiled and shook his head. “Lord.”

  I giggled at him because he really sounded like I was worrying him. Like a normal father would probably sound about his daughter. I was so excited to have him in my life. All I hoped was that Egypt was just as happy as I was. He was one person who took his gang seriously and having my estranged daddy being a Crip probably wouldn’t sit too right with him at first.

  “Be careful. I’ll see you later. Call me when you get home.”

  I nodded in excitement and closed the door. Since the truck was already running, I backed out, blew the horn, and went on my way. It was so crazy how things happened. Had someone told me I’d be meeting my father that morning when I woke up, I wouldn’t have believed them. I was over the moon with happiness. Hopefully, Egypt wouldn’t ruin it for me.

  Chapter Two

  -Egypt

  “Come on, Egypt, why do you always have to be so mean?”

  The same girl with the purple hair who hit on me every time I went to Master’s house was standing in front of me, twirling her body from side to side and batting her fake eyelashes like I was about to change my mind. You’d think she would have gotten the picture by now, but she continued to try her sad luck whenever she saw me.

  “I said I’m good. Now, watch out.” I walked past her and headed toward Master’s office.

  I was sick of him, so I didn’t even bother to knock. I just went right in, only to find it empty. With no
clue where that nigga was, I was about to find him before I left. I was so tired of having to check that fool about my bread; it didn’t make no sense. Finding a new connect was shifting higher and higher up the list of things I needed to do.

  Women were everywhere when I walked back into the hallway. I looked up both ends of it before choosing to walk up the opposite end of where the women were. They were all lounging around the living room casually watching TV and talking amongst themselves. Their laughter was in my ears as I took the stairs to the second level of his house.

  It was pretty quiet up there. I could hear a conversation going on in one of the rooms, but that was it. It was nowhere near as crowded as it was downstairs. Since I’d never been this far into his house, I stood stuck in place, trying to figure out which room might have been his. All the rooms looked the same except the one at the far end of the hall. It had double doors, so I knew that had to be that nigga’s spot.

  I was walking down the hallway when I stopped in my tracks. The voice sounded familiar, but I knew for a fact that I shouldn’t have heard it. I’d told that voice specifically not to be on this shit anymore, so if I could hear her voice, then that only meant one thing. She was there.

  I walked to the door and straight into the room. My eyes fell on Master first, then her. He was seated on the bed in nothing but a pair of underwear while she stood near the closet in a navy-blue spandex looking skirt, a white cropped top, and some sneakers. She had that ugly ass wig on again, but I guess I would give her a pass since she was fully dressed.

  Her back was turned, so she didn’t see me, but that nigga did. Then he had the nerve to frown like he didn’t want me there. I frowned right back at his ass. I didn’t want to see him any more than he wanted to see me.

  “Egypt, what you doing up here?”

  Azayna turned around, looking all shocked. I looked her up and down, taking in her appearance. She was covered in that ugly ass makeup and plastic jewelry, downgrading her beauty by the second. I could tell I had her shook by the look on her face and the way she’d frozen in place with an arm full of clothing.