Always & Forever

by Crossley, Lauren

  “Why not?”

  “Jake wouldn’t like it.”

  “He wouldn’t have to know. It gets so busy in there, he wouldn’t even notice.”

  “Really?”

  “Really.”

  Carla had me ready to go thirty minutes later. I was still really uncertain about what we were going to do, it just didn’t feel right to go sneaking into the bar downstairs without Jake knowing about it.

  “I’m not sure about this, Carla. I feel like we’re spying on Jake.”

  “We’re not spying; you just want to see where your man works. It’s not a crime to be curious, Bethany.”

  At first I was worried that I wouldn’t have anything to wear but Carla browsed through my new closet and easily picked out an outfit for me. She chose a dark pair of jeans and a black halter neck top. Thank goodness I allowed Jake to take me on that shopping trip or I wouldn’t have anything to wear at all.

  “Do I really look ok?” I asked her, glancing at my reflection in the mirror.

  “You look great, drop dead gorgeous.”

  Carla winked at me and carried on straightening the rest of my hair. I’d bought a pair of GHD’s as soon as I left home but hadn’t used them yet. I’d been hesistant because I didn’t really know how to straighten my hair properly. I’d finally consented to let Carla do it for me and I couldn’t believe the difference it made to my hair. My chocolate waves now looked sleek and glossy; I could hardly believe the girl I saw in the mirror was really me.

  “Carla, how are we going to get into the club downstairs? Are you even eighteen?” I enquired as soon as she’d finished with my hair.

  “Just. I turned eighteen last month.”

  “What about me? I’m twenty but I look about sixteen. They’re never going to let me in without any ID.” I mumbled miserably.

  “I know the guy on the door, he and Jake are old friends and he’s sure to believe us if I promise him that you’re over eighteen.” She convinced me, handing me her lip-gloss.

  I was still unsure about the whole make-up thing. I only tended to wear a little bit of mascara and some lip balm but Carla persuaded me to try bronzing pearls and a more mascara to enhance the length of my eyelashes. I couldn’t believe the transformation and had to admit that Carla knew what she was doing.

  I traipsed downstairs with Carla, struggling to walk in the high heels she’d coaxed me into wearing. I was only used to flat shoes and the my new boots took a bit of getting used to, they made me so much taller and I enjoyed the feeling that came alongside me making an effort to look more sophisticated.

  The doorman let us both straight in, he didn’t even give me a second glance and I didn’t know whether I should be flattered he didn’t question my age or insulted that he didn’t give me any sort of appraisal whatsoever.

  The noise inside the club was crazy. ‘Freaks’ by French Montana and Nicki Minaj was blaring out of the speakers and I could feel the vibrations from the music through the floor. I grabbed hold of Carla’s hand as she led the way towards a booth at the back of the club. We had a perfect view of the bar from where we were sitting and I liked the fact that we weren’t in the middle of the dance floor or the entrance. There was no sign of Jake and I wondered where he could be, I could hardly believe he spent every single night in that environment, surrounded by beautiful girls and their partying. The place was full of them and they were all gorgeous, it made me sick with jealousy and I wasn’t sure how to handle it.

  “Wow, I never thought it would be like this!” I yelled over the music, hoping Carla would be able to hear me.

  “It’s like this most nights, especially on the weekends.” She answered, nodding her head towards the dance floor.

  It was when I followed her gaze that I first saw Jake. I spotted him make his way behind the bar and watched as a surge of women suddenly started to clamour for his attention, waving their money at him and making a beeline for his section of the bar. They certainly seemed to notice him and the way they looked at him made my blood boil. I watched in fascination as a stunning girl appeared beside him, she had long blonde hair and wore a tiny black T-shirt which was similar to the much larger one that Jake had on. I realised it was their work uniform and it didn’t take me long to despise her for being so breathtaking.

  They were so busy trying to serve their huge amount of customers, there was no chance that Jake would get a chance to look up at notice me in the corner. I glowered at the girl working in such close proximity to Jake and narrowed my eyes every time she squeezed past him and or brushed against his body. It seemed like she was deliberately trying to touch me and I can’t even begin to explain the fury it caused me to feel. At one point she actually whispered something in his ear, standing on her tip toes so she could reach him. He gave her a dazzling smile and laughed at whatever it is she said.

  I couldn’t stand to watch them anymore. I couldn’t stand it and knew I had to leave. The nauseating image of her flirting with the man I loved was impossible to erase and I was desperate to get out of there before I made a complete show of myself by bursting into tears.

  “Carla, who is that?” I pointed towards the girl behind the bar, powerless against the need I had to find out who she was to Jake and if I should be worried.

  “That’s Melissa; she’s been working here for a long time.”

  She was so evasive; it made me even more paranoid and concerned. Jake had never mentioned Melissa to me before and I started to feel really stupid. Why had I never considered the possibility of Jake working alongside an irresistible female before? Why did I never question the type of girls he’d be surrounded by when working behind a bar?

  “This isn’t really my scene; I think I might go soon.” I told Carla, leaning in towards her so she could hear me.

  “You can’t go yet! We haven’t even had time to dance.” She grinned at me, her eyes sparkled with excitement.

  “I’m not going up there! I can’t dance to save my life!” I wailed, mortified by the very idea.

  “No would even notice, there’s so many people up there. We’ll just blend into the background and no one will even see us.” She assured, me, grabbing me by the hand as she dragged me out of the booth.

  I protested all the way to the dance floor, especially when Shakira’s ‘Can’t Remember to Forget You’ came on. I had no idea how to dance to that sort of music and was terrified I’d make an idiot of myself. It turned out Carla was a pretty good dancer and I just followed her lead. There was a huge crowd around us so I didn’t feel too self conscious and I felt so much more relaxed by the time the song had finished.

  Beyonce’s ‘Partition’ was soon to follow and I tried to make my way back over to where we had been sitting. Carla grabbed hold of my arm and shook her head, forcing me to dance to a second song. It felt far too sexual for me to feel comfortable but decided to be bold and copy the girls around me. I closed my eyes and immersed myself in the music; it was incredible how quickly I seemed to forget everything and everyone around me. I banished the picture of Jake with that girl every time it entered my head and a part of me really wanted him to see me. I wanted him to know that I could have a good time without him and I didn’t need him to take care of me every damn second of the day. If he could leave me alone every night, come here and have a good time then so could I.

  “It’s so warm in here!” I shouted over the music, fanning myself to try and keep cool

  “I’ll go get us something to drink in a minute. It will help cool us down.”

  “I can come with you?” I offered, not liking the idea of being left alone.

  “Its fine, I won’t be long. Besides, you’ve got some moves, girl! I can’t imagine Jake’s face if he were to see you right now.” She playfully stuck her tongue out at me and made her way back through the crowd towards the heaving bar area.

  I though I’d feel a tad conspicuous by myself but it only took me a few seconds to get back into the moment. I heard a cry when I accidentally stood on a guy’
s foot that was close by me and turned around to apologise to him, I knew it must have hurt him because of the pointy stilettos I was wearing and wanted to make sure that he was ok.

  “I’m so sorry!” I told him, pointing to his foot.

  I could hardly hear myself think, it was so loud and I didn’t know if he could hear me.

  “It’s fine, don’t worry about it!” He turned to look at me and his eyes sparkled with appreciation when he saw my face.

  “I’ll try to be more careful!” I assured him, turning the other way.

  “Wait! I didn’t catch your name.”

  “It’s Bethany.” I smiled at him as I tried to remain friendly, at least until Carla got back.

  “I’m Chris.” He held his hand out for me to shake and I took it, making sure the contact between us was brief.

  Carla had not yet returned and I kept looking over towards the bar to see if I could see her or Jake. I’d catch a glimpse of him every couple of minutes, still grappling with the idea of him working in such close proximity to that girl Melissa. Every time I saw them together she had her hand on his arm or was brushing against him. Squeezing past him to get to the other side of the bar and ‘accidentally’ rubbing her ass against him. I knew I wasn’t imagining it, she was clearly attracted to him and I wanted to tear her hair out for it.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Chris.” I smiled at him, turning my back on Jake.

  “So where’s your friend gone?” Chris asked, leaning in towards me.

  There was barely any distance between us and I found myself wanting Jake to turn around and see us. Jealousy was coursing through my veins. I had no right to be angry with him, especially after my secret phone call with Callum but couldn’t help how envious I felt when I saw him being so familiar with such a sexy girl. She was everything I wasn’t, beautiful, blonde, tall and vivacious. I’d never have the sort of confidence it would take to work behind a bar and it made me hate her even more.

  “She’s gone to go and get us a drink; she’ll be back in a minute.”

  “Mind if I keep you company until then?” His gaze perused my body, it made me uncomfortable and I took a step back, putting some space between us.

  I figured Carla would be gone a long time, the queue to get served was crazy and the booth we were sat in had now been taken by someone else. Chris seemed nice enough and I didn’t mind dancing with him so long as he kept his hands to himself.

  Beyonce’s ‘Grown Woman’ was the next track and I managed to get so lost in the music, I didn’t even notice he had pressed his athletic body against my back. He gently placed his hands on my hips and brushed my hair over to the other side of my neck. It was such an intimate thing to do; I froze and didn’t know what to do. I glanced over to the bar and saw Jake with Melissa, he was whispering something in her ear and making her laugh, she playfully slapped him on the chest and that’s when I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine.

  “Don’t you mind dancing to such a feminist tune?” I asked Chris, looking back over my shoulder, allowing his hands to stay on my hips and his chest against my back.

  “What do you mean?” He asked, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

  “Well, it’s Beyonce and she’s singing about what it’s like to be a grown woman.” I laughed, moving my hips in time to the music.

  “I like dancing with you and that’s all that matters.” He whispered huskily.

  I was starting to think I’d taken things too far and I was just about to make an excuse to go to the bathroom when I realised that Chris wasn’t stood behind me anymore. I whirled around just in time to see my new dance partner go hurtling through the crowd before he landed flat on his face. Jake was on top of him before he even had a chance to defend himself. Jake’s fists pummelled against his face with a ferocious intensity, the blinding, uncontrollable rage I thought I would never see again had reared its ugly head and I was powerless to stop it.

  There were a lot of people screaming and a massive crowd of people pushed me out of the way to get a closer look at the fight taking place right in front of them. The guys were either jeering Jake or cheering him on, some people got out their mobile phones so they could video the brutality and show it to their friends later. It was sickening and I couldn’t understand why no one was trying to do a thing to stop it.

  I clawed my way through the crowd, getting trampled on and crushed in the process. I tried screaming his name but it was pointless, nothing could be heard over the sound of the music and the vitriolic chants of the audience who got to witness the fight. Someone eventually switched off the music and that’s when I heard Jake’s voice.

  “She’s mine! You don’t fucking touch her! You don’t even look at what’s mine, do you understand?”

  “Jake, stop it!” I screamed, forcing my way to the front.

  I came face to face with Carla when I got there and she also looked distraught, begging Jake to let the guy go.

  “You fucking son of a bitch! She’s mine!” Jake roared, pounding his fists against his face, over and over and over again.

  It was clear to me he had lost his mind; he was behaving like an animal. There was so much animosity and venom in his eyes; it hurt me to see him using his unbelievable strength against someone who could not defend himself against him.

  “Jake, we were just dancing!” I clung onto his arm and begged him to understand. I needed him to end his vicious and merciless onslaught before it was too late.

  “Do you understand?” Jake growled, grabbing the front of his shirt and shouting in his face.

  Chris was beaten, bleeding and swollen but he somehow managed to nod his head. I think he knew it was the only way he could stop the murderous, nonsensical attack against him and wanted to preserve his life over his pride.

  “I understand.” He murmured softly.

  “I’ll tear off your fingers if you so much as touch her again.” Jake threatened, his eyes glimmering with hatred and disgust.

  I exhaled with relief when he finally stood up and released the hold he had on Chris. He spun around to face me and grabbed my wrist, tugging me behind him as he stalked over towards Carla. He told her to follow us and the three of us made our way through the parting crowd towards the exit. Everyone was staring at us and I could feel myself turning red with shame and embarrassment.

  Jake reached for his phone as soon as we stepped outside, pulling me back towards him when I made my way to go inside to our flat.

  “What are you doing? I want to go upstairs.” I complained, trying to free my hand from his grasp.

  “You’re not going anywhere. I’m about to phone a taxi and then we’re going to take Carla home. Once we’ve dropped her off, we’ll come right back here and we’re going to talk about what the fuck just happened.” He narrowed his eyes at me, fixing me with on of his penetrating stares.

  It made me shift uncomfortably and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at Carla. We were both in big trouble and I figured the best thing to do was stay quiet. The taxi didn’t take long to turn up and Carla got in the front whilst Jake and I sat in the back. No one spoke the whole way there and I was actually grateful when Carla got out of the car, I was hoping that Jake would say something to me once we were left alone. It turned out I couldn’t have been more wrong, the awkward silence became more intense and I was dreading the inevitable confrontation that would take place as soon as we got back home.

  I felt like I was about to be scolded and the only time he spoke to me was when I was getting out of the taxi. I twisted my ankle as I stepped onto the ground and I would have fallen if Jake hadn’t reached out to steady me.

  “Damn heels.” I muttered, rubbing my ankle.

  “You need to be careful in those things.” He said darkly, unlocking the front door.

  I thought the argument would start as soon as we got back. Instead, he took me by surprise and sat down on the sofa. I watched him rub his forehead, trying to relieve some of the tension. I remained by the doorway, wring
ing my hands together as I considered the best way to deal with what had just happened.

  “Jake, you have to say something.” I begged him, desperate to bring an end to the overwhelming silence.

  “Bethany, never again do I want to see what I saw earlier on tonight. I cannot witness that again, not ever.” He slowly raised his head, locking those devastating eyes of his upon my own.

  I gently sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. I had no idea where to start or what I was supposed to say. So many thoughts were whirling around inside my head; I didn’t know which one to pick first and which one to save for last.

  “I feel the same way. I never want to see you with that bitch ever again!” I yelled, pointing my finger at him from across the room.

  The only image in my head was of Jake and Melissa together. I remembered every time she touched him, smiled at him or laughed at something he said and it was driving me insane. I felt sick with pure, unadulterated jealousy and as far as I was concerned, Jake had a lot of explaining to do.

  “What bitch? Who are you talking about?”

  He leapt up from the sofa and was standing in front of me within seconds. He pushed me back against the door, making me feel like I was imprisoned. His arms were on either side of my body, the door behind was right my back and then there was Jake, right in front of me. I was completely trapped and I knew I couldn’t escape him.

  “Melissa.” I snarled, trying to shove his strong and muscular body away from me.

  Jake frowned at me, it looked like he had no idea what I was talking about and this made me even angrier. I had been torturing myself all night with the thought of them together and he was acting like he didn’t even know who she was.

  “Why would you mention her? She’s not important; she’s just some girl I work with. She means absolutely nothing to me.” He said firmly, securing his mesmerising gaze upon me.

  “It looked like you know her pretty well, Jake. I watched the two of you flirting all night!” I cried, hurling myself against him an attempt to make him move.

  “I was not flirting with her! I don’t know what you think you saw or what you’re even talking about.”