Always & Forever

by Crossley, Lauren

  “I want to watch you.”

  “Watch me?”

  “I want to watch you touch yourself.” His voice was husky and his eyes were smouldering with desire, they were ablaze with a potent need for me and I could feel how hard he was just by the thought of it.

  “Oh.” I was completely speechless, I didn’t know whether to be turned on or terrified by the idea.

  “If it will make you uncomfortable then you don’t have to do it.” He said hastily, stroking my hair back from my face.

  “It’s ok. I’ll do it.” I smiled up at him, wanting to convince him that I was confident and composed.

  “Good, now go and sit on the bed.” He instructed me, turning me around.

  I did as he asked and sat on the very edge. I was still fully clothed and wasn’t sure if I should start undressing or if Jake wanted to do it.

  “I won’t be long.” Jake said curtly, leaving me alone in our bedroom. “I want you to be naked by the time I come back.” He called out from the living room.

  Not wanting to disappoint him, I eagerly started to rid myself of my clothes. I was tempted to follow him into the sitting room to see what he was doing but decided to do as he asked and be patient. Jake came back a couple of minutes later. He was carrying a chair and a bottle of beer in the other hand. He was still only wearing his boxers and I couldn’t help myself ogling his magnificent body from across the room.

  “What were you doing?” I asked.

  “I want to be comfortable. If I’m going to watch you pleasure yourself then I want a front row seat and a beer.” He sat down on the chair and took a swig from the bottle. He was so unfazed and casual, behaving as though this was something we did all the time.

  I gaped at him in astonishment and I didn’t know whether he meant to sound insulting or if he was still just pissed off about that guy he caught me with.

  “Is this some sort of punishment?” I trembled, crossing my legs and folding my arms across my naked breasts.

  “How is it a punishment? You get to make yourself come and I get to watch you.” He replied calmly, allowing his hungry eyes to wander over my naked body.

  “So what do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to relax and put on a good show for me. Do exactly as I say and if you put on a good performance I might just forgive you for breaking my fucking heart earlier.”

  His tone was glacial and the expression on his face was hard and unforgiving. I knew I had pushed him too far earlier and now I had to face the consequences.

  “Jake, I’m sorry.”

  “No more apologies, just do as I say. Now I want you to lie back on the bed and open your legs nice and wide for me. That’s it, let me see you.” He ordered, taking another sip from his bottle.

  “Like that?” My voice sounded unsteady and unstable, revealing the true extent of my innocent inexperience when it came to all things sexual.

  “Wider.” He commanded.

  “Better?” I asked, opening my legs as wide as they would go.

  “Fuck… that’s it, baby. Now I want you to use your hand to touch your breasts, I want you to play with your nipples but make sure you keep your eyes on me.”

  I never thought fondling my own breasts would turn me on but that’s exactly what it did. To know that Jake was watching me was absolutely thrilling and my breathing became heavy and erratic as I watched him observe me across the room.

  “Now trail one of your hands down your stomach, feel how soft your skin in as you move towards that beautiful little pussy of yours, the one I’m dying to fuck with my mouth.”

  I moaned loudly and followed his direction, closing my eyes as I lost myself to the incredible sensations that were flowing through my body.

  “Open your eyes.” He snapped.

  I opened them and looked at him. His eyes were burning for me; I could almost see the flames of his lust flickering in his brown orbs.

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Complete surrender. I want you to acknowledge who it is you belong to and I want you to understand that your exquisite body is mine. I want you to start touching yourself, Bethany. I want you to keep your eyes on me whilst you’re rubbing that tight little pussy, circle your clit with your fingers and pretend it’s the tip of my tongue. I know what it does to you when I make love to you with my mouth.”

  I groaned, increasing the pace of my fingers between my legs. I swear I could feel Jake’s mouth on me, licking, suckling and tasting my sweet arousal. The description of what he wanted to do to me was blowing my mind and I could feel how wet I was becoming, my pussy dripping with my excitement and desire.

  “I want you to remember this moment the next time you decide to let another man put his hands on you. I want you to think of how you’re feeling right now. I want you to remember how wet you are, how turned on you’re feeling and how desperate you are to feel me inside you. No one else could do this to you, Bethany. Look at you… you’re soaking wet, willing and so, so ready for me. You’re fucking beautiful and you belong to me. I own your mind, body and soul.”

  His breathing was ragged and his voice sounded strained. I glanced over at him, startled to see that he was playing with himself. His huge length was in his hand, hard and swollen. I wanted to take it in my mouth and inadvertently licked my lips, imagining the feel of it sliding into my mouth.

  “Fuck. You want my dick in your mouth, don’t you?” He rasped, gripping himself firmly as he increased his movements.

  “Jake, please let me come. Put your mouth on me. Please.” I begged him.

  I was writhing about on the bed and lifted up my knees, wanting him to see all of me. I wanted to tempt him and tease him to the point that he would give in and come over to me.

  “Imagine my mouth on you, baby. Imagine my tongue sliding up and down your slick folds. I want you to use my tongue, Bethany. Use it like you would use my dick and come all over me. Tug on my hair and pull me closer, ride me like the naughty little bitch you are right now.” He commanded me, pumping his own hand up and down his length.

  “Yes, yes, yes! More, Jake.” I pleaded, raising my hips as I rotated them in a circular motion.

  “Fuck, oh fuck. Look at that… faster, baby. Slip those sweet little fingers inside your pussy. You’re so wet; they will slide in so easily. I can’t even believe how turned on you are. Do it for me baby… that’s right. Add a second finger, pretend they’re mine.”

  I could feel my orgasm approaching, I knew it was going to be tremendous and I could hardly wait for my explosive climax.

  “Fuck it. I can’t stay over here.” Jake growled, stalking towards me as he forced my legs right back near my ears.

  His lips latched onto my clit, suckling and rubbing it with his thumb. I had been so close to the edge; I came instantly, doing exactly what he had said by grabbing a handful of his hair as I thrust my wet core against his face and all over his mouth and tongue.

  “Wow.” I murmured breathlessly.

  “That was un-fucking-believable.” Jake chuckled softly. “I could eat that pussy twenty-four hours a day and never get bored. I could taste you for a whole month and I’d still crave more.”

  He thrust his tongue inside my mouth and I could taste the extraordinary flavour of myself on his lips.

  “Fuck me now, Jake. Please.”

  He grabbed hold of my hips and switched our positions. He was lying on the bed and I was straddling his hips, nursing his impressive arousal between my legs.

  “Sit on me. You want my dick? Come take it. It’s yours.” He encouraged me, a challenging and confident smirk on his face.

  I hesitated for a moment, nervous to take control and be on top.

  “Um, I’m not sure.”

  “You’ve taken my dick before so you can sit on it.” He rationalised, raising an eyebrow up at me.

  He was daring me to do it. He thought I’d be a coward and say no and that’s why I knew I had to prove him wrong. I lowered myself onto him and gasped when
I felt him stretch me as he started to penetrate my tight entrance. I was already so wet and turned on; it wasn’t too hard for me to slide onto him.

  “Yes.” He hissed, sinking his fingers into my ass. “Take every single inch of me, baby. Prove to me that you own what’s inside you. Make it yours and do whatever you have to do to erase who came before. Claim it as your own.”

  I did exactly as he asked as I rode him, throwing my head back and screaming his name as I clenched myself tightly around him.

  “More! I need more of you!” I cried, watching Jake’s eyes fixate on my breasts as they started to sway with my rapid movements.

  “Bounce on it, bounce up and down. Ride me; I want to see those tits bounce.”

  I could smell our arousal in the bedroom, we were both slick with sweat and moisture and I knew we were both close to reaching our orgasm.

  “This is mine; your dick belongs to me. Every single inch of you inside of me is mine.” I moaned, scraping my nails against his chest.

  What was going on between us was almost brutal. It was wild, violent, unrestrained and we were out of control. I don’t know what we were thinking, or if we were thinking at all. I was out of my mind, on the edge of insanity and teetering on the precipice of crazy. We were nonsensical but it felt fantastic. I wouldn’t change it for anything and I was thirsty for more, relentless in my pursuit of fulfilment. I wanted to be consumed by him, I wanted everything with him. I needed more; I would always need more of Jake.

  “That’s right. God, I fucking love it when you’re like this, when you’re so wet, so hot and so open for me. I want you to squeeze me tight; I want that tight little pussy of yours to squeeze my dick. Make me come, baby. I want to release myself inside of you. I need you to take every single drop of me like a good girl.”

  His words were my undoing and I came apart on top of him. I shattered into a thousand pieces and climbed the gargantuan wave of pleasure before reaching its stupendous peak. I slowly and blissfully floated back down to earth, relishing in the phenomenal and transcendent post-coital aftermath.

  Jake’s release came seconds after my own as he thrust himself deep inside of me, over and over again. He sat up and locked his mouth around one of my nipples, latching onto it with such urgency and compulsion, I was certain he would leave a bruise. I could feel him coming; the extraordinary warmth of his release inside of me made me tremble and shake with euphoric exhilaration. I squeezed every last drop out of him as I clenched my inner muscles around him. I devoured his neck, biting the skin and hoping I would leave a mark of my own on there.

  We were in the shower together half an hour later and I knew it was the right time for me to honest with him. I was unable to ignore the jealousy that I’d felt earlier and knew I had to address the issue before it was too late.

  “Jake, I’m still not happy about you working with Melissa.” I said softly, averting my gaze so I wouldn’t have to meet his piercing stare.

  “Bethany…” He sighed wearily.

  “I’m not accusing you of anything. I know there’s nothing going on between you but I still feel really uncomfortable about it. How would you feel if I still conversing with someone I’d slept with? I just know its going to cause problems for us if you keep on working with her.”

  “What do you want me to do? You want me to quit?”

  “I can’t expect you to do that.”

  “Yeah, you can. I’ll hand in my resignation if that’s what you really want and I’ll start looking for another job. However, it might take me a little while to find one, I’ll probably have to start fighting again. ”

  “I don’t want that, Jake. It’s dangerous and wrong.”

  “Sweetheart, you can’t have it both ways. We need the money and the underground fighting pays really well.”

  He tried reasoning with me but I didn’t want to hear it. I would never be ok with Jake beating people up for money. No doubt it would be brutal and extreme in its violence. How on earth would I be able to sleep at night knowing Jake was part of something like that?

  “We’ll talk about it in the morning. All I want to do now is go to sleep.” I told him, faking a yawn.

  I switched the shower off and opened the glass door. I wrapped warm towel around myself and made my way into the bedroom. Jake followed me but stayed by the door, refusing to enter.

  “Bethany, I want to say something to you but it’s not going to be easy for me.”

  He wouldn’t look at me and it made me paranoid. I had no idea what I was about to hear but by the look of Jake, I could tell it was something serious.

  “What is it?”

  “Look, I never again want to witness what I saw earlier on tonight.” He paused, closing the distance between us. I still had my towel wrapped around me and he tugged on it, letting it drop to the floor. “I don’t think you understand what seeing you with another man actually did to me. I was behind the bar when I first spotted you with him; I thought I was hallucinating or something else just as crazy. I couldn’t bring myself to believe it was really you, that you would actually do something like that to me.”

  “Jake…” I tried to touch him but he grabbed hold of my wrist, preventing me from reaching out.

  “Let me finish. I need you to promise me that you will never put me through that again. It honestly felt like you had ripped my heart out of my chest and trampled all over it. I could feel the excruciating pain of my heart breaking and I admit that I lost my mind for a minute. There’s no excuse for my insanity but that’s exactly what it was. I constantly feel like I might lose control whenever I’m around you, I somehow become this deranged and psychotic Neanderthal in front of you and I don’t know what to do about it! I never used to be like this and I just don’t know what’s happening to me!”

  “Shh. Its ok, everything will be ok, Jake.” I soothed him, pressing my body against him as I pulled him into my embrace.

  “If I were to lose you… I wouldn’t be able to survive. I swear I would shrivel up and die without you. It fucking terrifies me and I live in fear every single fucking day. I’m petrified that something will happen to you or my baby, I need you both so much and I just don’t know what to do!”

  His eyes were glazed over with tears and he looked so lost and vulnerable. He was gazing down at me as though I had all of the answers, as though I was the one who could save him. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I couldn’t even save myself.

  “You will never be without me. I promise you.” I reassured him, standing on my tiptoes so I could place a kiss against his lips.

  “Do you really mean that?” His eyes were full of unshed tears and my heart ached for the damaged I has caused this incredible man.

  “Always and forever, Jake. We’re always and forever.” I whispered, bringing our naked bodies together.

  I tried to go to sleep that night but the guilt and endless torment of my earlier conversations with Callum kept swirling around inside my head. I knew if Jake ever found out about him and my inappropriate feelings… it would bring an end to our promised always and forever in a tragic and cataclysmic way. I realised I had a choice; I could either tell Jake the truth or pray to God that he would never find out about my plans to rebuild my friendship with Callum.

  Jake pulled me close, tightening his hold on my body. He was already asleep but my insomnia refused to admit defeat. I was wide awake and so alert, staring out the bedroom window at the full moon outside. I felt the excruciating weight of betrayal and I knew it would stay with me for a very, very long time.

  Callum

  God, I just can’t get her out of my head. She’s everywhere and even when I close my eyes, it’s her face I see staring back at me. She’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and she’s the last thought in my head before I go to sleep. It’s driving me insane and I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do about it. To know that I can’t have her is what’s going to pull me under, I’m slowly drowning in my own misery and there’s not a sin
gle thing I can do about it.

  I can’t begin to describe how incredible she looked today. She’s even more beautiful than I remembered and the fact that I can’t have her is going to be what tips me over the edge. My heart actually aches for her, I know what that makes me sound like but it’s the truth. She’s all I want and the fact that I might never be able to have her is the most agonising thing I’ve ever experienced.

  I’ve always thought her to be spectacular. She’s all I’ve ever wanted, even when we were in college. I quickly became her friend but there was never a single day that I didn’t want more from her. She was so cautious and shy, I knew I had to bide my time and be patient, deciding the best course of action was to try and get to know her first.

  There were plenty of girls who caught my eye but the only one I really wanted was Bethany. None of my other friends got our friendship; they didn’t understand why I would turn down every single girl to show in an interest in me for a platonic friendship with someone who didn’t even know how I felt.

  I was so fucking grateful that Bethany didn’t like anyone in college; I wouldn’t have been able to take her dating other guys whilst she placed me in the damn friend zone. I suppose that’s where I am right now. She’s made it perfectly clear that a friend is all I’ll ever be to her and as much as it kills me to hear her say that, I have to respect her decision. However, that doesn’t mean I have to accept it.

  Fuck! I really need to stop doing this to myself. Lucy’s going to be here any second and I’m nowhere near ready. We’re supposed to be going out tonight after I totally spaced out on her during our date this afternoon. She sensed that something was bothering me when I could barely focus on our conversation; I ended up suggesting that we reschedule our date until later on, hoping that I’d be able to sort my head out before then.

  Lucy and I met at University, she’s a gorgeous girl and I know I should consider myself lucky that she’s interested in going out with at all. She’s sexy, funny, intelligent and sweet. She’s everything a man could want and that’s why I’m going to find this so difficult. I have to break things off with her tonight; it’s just not right for me to date her when I’m so blatantly in love with someone else. I know my news is going to devastate her but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I should never have agreed to start seeing her in the first place. Lucy had been asking me out for a while and in the end I thought why the hell not? There was no sign of Bethany getting in touch with me after I gave her my number all those weeks ago and I desperately needed to find myself a distraction. Lucy understood that I was hung up on another girl but we both agreed to take it slow and see how things would turn.