BreakMeIn

by Sara Brookes

  Her cell phone chimed loudly, a signal of a meeting notice.

  What had she forgotten this time?

  She picked up her bag, grunting as she lifted its weight. One day she would organize the behemoth a recent fashion magazine insisted she had to have. Stupid of her to listen in the first place, but the lure of a gorgeous purse was a hard thing to ignore. Between purses and shoes it was a wonder she had any money left to eat. Thankfully her head for math allowed her to be comfortably surrounded by both of her weaknesses.

  She gave a triumphant cry as she found the device. The colorful calendar reminder on her screen glowed bright, making her scowl as she thumbed the button to dismiss it. Her night at Sanctuary. She hadn’t made any plans with Alex to meet there tonight, but the notice served as a reminder just how much she had come to love the place again.

  Especially when she had the right company.

  Annoyed, she dumped the phone into her bag again and scooped up her sketchbook. Maybe if she couldn’t make her brain work at the computer she could rough out something by hand.

  A dull throb at the base of her skull let her know a headache had started to brew. It was also a sign she should have quit working a few hours ago, but the looming deadline was enough to make her push through. Tearing off a sheet of the heavy paper, she carefully taped it to her inclined table and pulled down the straight edge she had affixed to two guide wires.

  After a few minutes of pencil strokes, which produced nothing but what she saw as a jumble of lines, she knew she wasn’t going to get anywhere fast. Elena growled, tossing her pencil to the desk when her sketching didn’t produce any better results than her drawing tablet.

  She caught sight of a sketch she had been working off and on for the past two years. The reason she’d started this whole venture to begin with. Grabbing the case she stored her pencils in, she dragged the easel over and settled down on the high stool once again.

  Maybe her calculations were the problem. Something about the piece just wasn’t sitting right with her. And until she figured it out the whole project would continue to be a source of contention. Grabbing her calculation pad, she scanned the complex formulas she’d been working on.

  She growled again when she noticed more than a few mistakes.

  How could she be so careless?

  “Quite an ominous sound. Sexy. But ominous.”

  She jumped, blinking over the top of her glasses as she turned. “Alex.” She was surprised to see him, she swung her hand wide. The pad she’d been scribbling her formulas on hit the mug full of coffee, spilling the contents on a sketch. “Crap. Crap. And triple crap.”

  Panicked she’d lose the sketch, no matter how pitiful it was, she scrambled to peel away the tape securing her drawing to the table. Alex appeared at her side with a wad of paper towels and quickly helped her sop up the puddle.

  “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

  “It’s okay. The trig formulas weren’t cooperating anyway. This whole project has been a thorn in my side from the start. I can use a distraction for a few minutes.”

  “You know, they make fancy, expensive calculators to help you.” He glanced at the now-coffee-stained paper already turning brown at the edges. “Interesting concept.”

  “Thanks.” She carefully lifted the tape and placed the paper gently on the desk behind her. “I still like doing my calcs by hand. As much as I love technology at times, it makes me feel secure to write everything out so I can see where I make a mistake.”

  “How old school of you. Charming.” His warm smile soothed her frazzled brain. He really needed to stop looking so damn appealing. “Thought you could use some fuel. Looks as though I was right.” He slid the Perfect Shot logo thermos toward her.

  Her heart hitched at the sweet gesture. Well shit. Just when she thought she was starting to pull things together. Sometimes, when it came to Alex, she was her own worst enemy. She could try to fool herself that her friends just wanted to see her happy, but she knew better. She knew the signs. Knew Alex was everything she’d ever wanted—both as a submissive and a man.

  Most of all—as a partner.

  She was astonished to discover how much she was ready to tell him. How willing she was to spend the rest of her life proving to him how much he meant to her. Annoyed because she knew she’d chicken out even she even attempted such a feat, she tossed her glasses onto her angled desk. Various pencils scattered as she combed her fingers through her hair. “Didn’t realize I’d worked this late. Have a seat and I’ll grab some mugs.”

  Cups in hand, she returned a few minutes later to find Alex examining her work. Her stomach performed a messy somersault, causing bile to rise to the back of her throat. She wasn’t the biggest fan of people looking at some of the sketches she’d hung on the walls of her office space or the unfinished pieces scattered around the room.

  Mostly because she was so hard on herself until she got it right. And most of the time she wasn’t satisfied with the finished product, always sure there was some line out of place or some such bullshit.

  “This one is beautiful. They all are really.” He pointed to a sketchbook clipped to the easel. “But this one especially. You’ve got something special there.”

  The design was one she wanted for herself. Something she’d been working on even before she’d decided to open this little business venture. The fact it had inspired her entire company didn’t escape her notice. If she ever actually finished the design and built the piece it would serve as an accomplishment of years of hard work and dedication. Not to mention stand as the core of her entire business.

  She forced herself to the corner of her desk and filled the two mugs. “It needs a lot of work.”

  “I figured you’d say as much. But to my untrained eye it’s stunning.”

  She handed Alex a mug. “Yes, well, I still have a long way to go.”

  “Is this for a client?”

  “No.” The last thing she wanted to do was share the knowledge it was something she’d been working on for herself for years. “It’s not a big deal really.”

  His lips curved. “Could have fooled me.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re drawing it by hand, not on your fancy computer.” He gestured to the massive custom-built workstation she’d invested in when she’d first opened her company. Allison had spent a full month helping her work up a perfect system. The addition of an expensive graphics tablet had kicked the cost of the overall system into the stratosphere, but the investment had proven its worth time and time again.

  Even with the expensive technology at her fingertips an assortment of sketchbooks littered her office. “Plenty of designers still draw by hand.”

  “Such as?”

  She tapped her knuckles against the desk because she didn’t have an answer. “Damn.”

  Alex reached out and trailed a finger against her jaw, lightly tapping her chin. “See? Someone takes pride in their work. And I know from firsthand experience your pride extends to just more than your love of design.”

  She bit her tongue, trying not to think about the burn moving through her body that had originated where he’d tapped her chin. Wanting distance between them for her sanity, she moved around to the other side of the desk. “Yes, I take great pride in my work. On several different levels. There’s no crime in wanting something special.”

  “No, there’s not. I, for one, am especially fond of your attention to detail.”

  “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  He came to stand beside her, setting his empty cup beside hers. “Your attention to detail saturates your life, Elena. In your work, your hobbies. Even in the way you dress. It’s both maddeningly frustrating and sexy as hell.” His fingers dragged against the starched collar of her shirt. The stiff fabric brushed her skin, heating her core to a furnace. Her breasts swelled at the light touch, her nipples hardening to tight points so quickly she had to bite back a quiet gasp.

  She felt dizzy and overwhelmed by the weight of
desire. Her heart started to beat faster as she swallowed. “Thank you. I think.”

  “See? Even when you’re being seduced you’re polite to a fault.”

  She saw where this was going. It wasn’t foreign territory for her, but it took their relationship to a whole different level. A level she’d promised herself they’d never reach. What a foolish promise. She thought she could be in total control with him, but the pull was too great of a force.

  “Alex. We can’t do this.”

  He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the column of her neck. He nipped at her flesh, drawing a quiet moan from her throat as goose bumps riddled her arms. Given her state right now it was easy to imagine his mouth—those teeth—pressing against other, more sensitive, parts of her.

  She’d felt them there once, yearned to feel them there again.

  “Is this not allowed? Just plain old boring vanilla sex?”

  She looked up into those impenetrable blue eyes, watching as his tongue slowly drew across his incredibly kissable lips. “I doubt sex with you would be boring, Alex.”

  “When was the last time someone took care of you? Really and truly?” He cradled her jaw, tilting his forehead against her. He breathed deeply and then let it out slowly. “When was the last time you made love, Elena?”

  Her eyes fluttered closed as the hot wash of breath swept over her face. Her need warred with logic as she blew out a frustrated breath. Common sense told her not to answer.

  “I can’t remember.”

  Stupid common sense.

  “Oh, Elena.” Alex’s mouth brushed against hers, his raspy breath hitching as he nudged her lips apart. Emotions flooded her, but she didn’t bother to fight them. She wouldn’t think about how many rules she was breaking. Right now she just wanted to feel alive right here in Alex’s arms.

  Sinking deeper, she parted for him, slowly drawing his tongue into her mouth. His quiet moan permeated the charged air around them, brushing over her sensitized skin. His muscles flexed under her hands as he drew her closer, deepening the kiss.

  He barreled over her defenses, shattering any notion she had about how wrong and misguided this moment was. Years of pent-up lust unleashed in a violent torrent. She didn’t need to have him on his knees, at the club or even Sanctuary.

  At this moment she just wanted Alex.

  The broken, depressed man who’d come to her seeking help.

  The recovering alcoholic who just wanted to right the wrongs he’d left in his wake.

  As hard as it was to admit, somewhere along the way she’d allowed herself to fall—hard. And damn if she didn’t want to reject the notion of strapping on a parachute to stop her descent. The ground could hit her full force and she wouldn’t care.

  Not as long as he held her in his arms, cradling her close.

  Alex’s fingers worked at the buttons of her shirt, parting the fabric slowly as he continued to kiss her. Their tongues danced, sliding together. Her clit pulsed, begging for some kind of relief.

  “I have to taste you, Elena. Please. After all this, after everything we’ve been through...” His hands bracketed her waist, closing the distance between them. The heat of his hands pressed against her skin through the fabric of her shirt. When their gazes collided her heart skipped a beat. Desire and longing painted his eyes dark, need obviously racing through muscles that had been returned to their full glory.

  Alex was in his prime.

  His tongue flicked between his lips, a tempting sweep that taunted her to lean forward to taste. She couldn’t give in to him again no matter how much she wanted to. In order to, she needed distance.

  Both physically and mentally.

  “No. You asked me for something very specific and if I allow this I’ll be breaking my word to you.”

  “Break it, I don’t care. I just want you, Elena.”

  She held up a hand against his chest when he tried to lean toward her. “You want something I’m not sure...”

  “Yes. I do want something.” He gathered her close, pressing a finger to her mouth, silencing her protest. “I want to show you how thankful I am for all you’ve done for me. Let me give you something in return.”

  Her hand was steady as she reached up and tugged his finger away. “I don’t—”

  “I know you don’t. You’ve said as much. But maybe I do.”

  Tell him, Elena. Tell him how much you really need him. How much he means to you. How much he’s always meant to you. Just relax and let it all go. He deserves to know someone truly loves him. It’s easy to let your feelings show. As hard as her conscience was working to try to convince her, she couldn’t do it. “And you know that’s not part of what you asked me to show you.”

  His hands fell as his expression changed. “This is you pulling out your safeword, isn’t it?”

  “The equivalent of one, yes.”

  He tilted his head forward as he backed away. “Message received loud and clear.”

  She stood in the center of her office for a long time after the door closed, angry because she couldn’t confess something so fucking simple to Alex. But it wasn’t simple, not for her. Alex had stirred up feelings she hadn’t been prepared to deal with.

  Feelings she didn’t even have a name for because they were so foreign.

  Feelings that scared her to death.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Unhappy with how she’d handled the situation with Alex she tried to turn her mind toward other things by buckling down at her desk. Work wasn’t flowing any easier despite an overnight break and she was in a bit of a lull as she had a message in to Dade. She was anxious to respond to the request one of her repeat customers had sent last night.

  Right about the time Alex had buried his tongue in her mouth.

  “That’s one hell of a memory you’re reliving.”

  So much for her resolve to forget about Alex the moment he’d walked out of her workshop. Clearing her throat, she dipped her head to hide the flush that had heated her face. “You’re out and about early, Dade. Didn’t expect to hear from you for another few hours.”

  “Got your message you needed to see me. Thought I’d come over to check up on you.”

  Confident she’d mastered her thoughts and feelings about Alex enough to not embarrass herself she lifted her head to find Dade hovering near her office door. There were dark shadows under his eyes and a crease down the side of one cheek. Though it appeared as though he’d tried to sleep, something had obviously kept him awake.

  Thoughts of work immediately vanished. “I’m worried about you.”

  “Don’t be. No reason to.” He came to sit on the spare stool next to her drawing board, leaning forward on his elbows. “I’m sure you have enough things to worry about without unnecessarily adding whatever problems you think I have into the mix.”

  Could the man be any more frustrating? “Dade.”

  “Seriously Elena. I’m a grown man. I’ve got it handled.”

  “So you think.”

  “What exactly do you think is wrong or going on that you need to pull this mother-hen act with me? Which is damn trying, to be perfectly honest with you.” Dade snorted. “Has been for the past several years.”

  She laid her hand on his arm. “You’re lonely.”

  “So is half the world.” His scowled deepened as he tried to shake off her hand.

  “Yes, but I don’t care about the rest of the world. I only care about whatever—”

  “Whatever you think my issues are,” he finished. “I don’t care to repeat myself so let’s not have an instant replay of this very tiring conversation. Again. Let it go, Ms. Red. How are things with Alex?”

  She blinked twice before recovering. “How did you know?”

  “Saw him leave last night. You never let anyone come out here who isn’t a client. Even then it’s murky territory. I’m pretty sure you’re not even fond of me being here and it’s my land. Besides, I’ve known for years. Why do you think he got drunk at Brogans?”

&n
bsp; She wanted to laugh. Given the fact Dade had been there right beside Alex for each and every drink the reason seemed obvious enough. “Because he had a drinking problem.”

  “Partly, yeah. But he wanted out of the warehouse. Nearly as much as he wanted in. He wanted to be there with you and not be surrounded by a crowd of people he couldn’t care less about. I saw how he looked at you then. That look hasn’t changed since he’s been gone—except it’s gotten stronger.” He paused, flashing a grin. “So, again, I ask…how are things with Alex?”

  “You suck. Hard.”

  “Never had any complaints.” Dade lifted an eyebrow. “You’re still avoiding my question.”

  Dade’s persistence was legendary, but she wasn’t sure she was ready to divulge the depth of her involvement with Alex yet. Sharing with her girlfriends was one thing. Sharing with Dade was another matter entirely. “You’re an asshole.”

  “Doesn’t sound like the Elena I know and love.” He sat quietly, obviously ready to wait however long for her answer. They’d played this game before, with Dade often called the winner by default. No one had ever tried her patience as much as Dade. “Mind if I take a stab at it?”

  “Because I can stop you?”

  “Not many can. You’ve awakened something inside him you didn’t expect. You’re drawn to it. Compelled to poke so it flourishes more and more. You’ve discovered there isn’t much vanilla in him after all and now that you’ve brought all this hidden, kinky knowledge to the surface you don’t want to let him go.”

  She wanted to laugh even as the thought started to heat her blood. Dade has this uncanny knack of knowing what she was thinking even though her thoughts were a jumbled mess on the subject. “I don’t have a choice, I have to.”

  “Sometimes it’s for the best. But to be honest I don’t think he wants to let go either.” Startled, she dropped her pencil. “Maybe if you talked to him you’d save yourself a whole lot of heartbreak. A whole lot of head trips. You’re the one who always told me to stop thinking with my dick all the time. You may not have the same equipment, but the principle still applies. Pussies can be just as stupid as cocks when sex is involved.”