BreakMeIn

by Sara Brookes

  She lifted her chin. “It’s a damn good thing I love you, you know.”

  Dade nodded. “I do know. I also know it means you won’t open any lines of communication with him beyond what is already in place. You won’t tell him how you’re feeling even as you demand he give you more. Because you think you’re supposed to push and push and push on him. But not you.”

  “I know what I’m supposed to do and I don’t need you telling me.” She had already decided how the scene would the play out with Alex tonight at the warehouse and it didn’t involve talking. “What I’m supposed to do is get him back in the room at Sanctuary and reinforce my role. The use of ropes comes to mind. A flogger or two. Maybe even a spreader bar or a blindfold. Hell, maybe even a ball gag so he doesn’t try to blind me with pretty words again.”

  “Stubborn, hardheaded, one way…” Dade continued his tirade as he pushed away from the desk, crossed to the coffeemaker and filled two mugs to the brim. He returned, handed her one and leaned over her workspace.

  “Done?”

  “Just getting warmed up. But I know it won’t matter with you so I’m just wasting my breath. Someday your iciness is going to come back and bite you so hard on the ass—”

  “I thought you said you were done?”

  Dade closed his eyes, hauled in a breath and let it out slowly before opening his eyes again. “What did you want to talk to me about?”

  “New order came in. Regular customer wants a quote.” Dade scanned the description of the custom piece. “He ordered the sensory deprivation tank a few months ago.”

  “I remember. Fun project too.” He tapped the list of materials she’d already worked up. “This is definitely doable. Tricky, but nothing is impossible when we put our heads together. Have to commend him. He has excellent taste. Admirable.”

  “Do I detect a note of jealousy?”

  Dade snorted. “Hardly. Glass may be my medium, but I want to hold it in my hand and be an active participant. Not sit back and watch my submissive fuck whatever I’ve designed. No offense.”

  “None taken.”

  Dade rifled through her paperwork. “What do you have so far?”

  She handed up a rough mock-up scribbled onto a piece of paper towel. “I sketched out the basics already.”

  “More like demented scribbling. Normally your penmanship is impeccable, but this is nothing but a bunch of jumbled lines and angles.” It was an odd conglomeration of the regeneration tube from The Fifth Element and the high-tech stim-chairs from Surrogates—just as the customer requested. “As much as I love your manic little mind can you explain the technical crap those of us with normal brains can’t figure out?”

  “It’s all pretty basic when you get right down to it. Like some kind of advanced fucking machine. In this area he wants something to allow for varying sizes by using a steel-threaded insert in the base for interchangeability. He also needs for it to lock into position using some kind of screw actuation or a slide-and-lock system.”

  “I know you’re speaking English, but damn if I can understand a word you’re saying.”

  Elena rolled her eyes in frustration. “Basically it boils down to the fact this dude is seriously caught up in his roleplaying.”

  “I really do love your mind.” He kissed her forehead. “I’ll get started.”

  * * * * *

  Alex pushed a rag over the metal counter, wiping away a few crumbs. He wondered how he was going to face each day without Elena in his life once he walked away. They’d changed things, altered the course of their knowledge of each other. He’d shared the most intimate of things he’d ever shared with another human being. She was such an ingrained part of his life now.

  After everything she’d shown him how could he ever go back to the way things were? He knew too much. Knew there was an entire world out there just waiting for him to explore. Problem was he wanted Elena on the journey with him and given her behavior recently, she clearly didn’t want the same thing in return. Not after the way she’d stopped him at her office.

  She hadn’t spoken to him when he’d arrived at the warehouse last night. Instead she’d bound, blindfolded and gagged him, working him ruthlessly until he’d collapsed onto the floor spent and exhausted. She’d been gone when he’d woken up this morning, a clear sign she was determined to keep everything as emotionless as possible.

  At least on her end.

  He couldn’t help the way he felt and he wasn’t going to apologize for it. He’d just have to work harder to drive his point home. The door chimed and he brushed away his thoughts as Patrick strode into the coffeehouse. Alex tucked the rag into his back pocket, brushing his hands against his jeans to dry them as his brother moved behind the counter.

  “Busy night?”

  “Been steady. No more so than usually, really. Weeknights always tend to be the slowest, but you already know how it is.”

  “Thanks, but the update wasn’t what I meant.” Patrick reached out and tapped a finger against Alex’s wrist. “I was referring to these, dear older brother.”

  Looking down, he found Elena’s cuffs still circling his wrists. Their weight wasn’t so foreign to him now and apparently he’d gotten so comfortable wearing them he’d forgotten to take them off when he’d left the warehouse. “Shit.” A customer approached the counter and he helped Patrick fill the order before speaking again. “Newbie mistake I guess.”

  “I’m not complaining.” Patrick set a hand on his shoulder, squeezing tightly. “Since you’re wearing jeans and a tee, most people will just assume you put them on when you got dressed this morning. Have to say they’re definitively not subtle.”

  The statement caused Alex to smile. “Not as though Elena is.”

  “Good point. Look, I need to talk to you about something.”

  Alex noticed the concern lining Patrick’s face. Alarm bells started going off in his head. “Everything all right?”

  “Yeah. Just…” Patrick trailed off, tugging on Alex’s arm to pull him to the back corner of the service area. “I’m going to need your help. Maybe you could pick up a few more shifts than usual. Cover for me.”

  “Of course. What’s going on? Looking into the expansion we’ve been talking about?”

  “Of a sort.” One corner of Patrick’s mouth lifted in a sly smile. “Allison’s pregnant.”

  Alex blinked a few times when Patrick simply continued to stare. “Holy shit. You’re going to be a dad? Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

  “Shh. We don’t want it announced yet. The doctor confirmed our suspicions today. Allison’s been feeling a little under the weather, just run-down and generally tired all the time. We didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up.”

  Alex grabbed his brother, pulling him into a tight hug.

  “I see the famous Conners’ hospitality is in full effect tonight.” They both turned as Genevieve stepped behind the counter carrying several trays in her arms. “Thought I’d help you guys by bringing the rest of the stock out.” She slipped the long trays into the case, sliding the glass closed. Her eyes gleamed as she turned to face the two men. “Well, well. Looks as if Alex has gone and found himself a fancy new life with a new woman. Or is the owner of those a man?”

  “Wear a set of cuffs and the whole world goes mad.” Alex slapped a towel against the counter with a quiet snort. “Christ.”

  Genevieve slipped closer, tapping Alex’s chin before trailing the side of her finger against his neck. “Hrm, nice. Someone had you fully decked in leather last night, didn’t they? I can see the abraded skin here just above your collarbone.”

  Alex jerked away and stared at her dumbfounded. “What is it with you people?”

  “You people?” The corner of her mouth curved up. “You do realize you’re one of those people now, right?”

  Patrick hid a smile behind his hand. “I never got a chance to ask how the honeymoon was, Genevieve.”

  “Beautiful once we finally got there. Flying overseas is an adventu
re I’m not sure I want to repeat. But meeting Tony’s family for the first time was totally worth it. Very warm and friendly. His grandmother’s house was on top of a hill overlooking some of the greenest fields I’ve ever seen. How about you and Allison? Seems as though we haven’t had a chance to catch our breath and just shoot the hay in forever.”

  Patrick flashed a million-dollar grin. “Barely left the cabana.”

  “As it should be. We didn’t have such luxuries over in Ireland, but I loved everything about the trip. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Still haven’t quite settled into married life, but it’s only been six months and we’re both so busy. Not as though it’s difficult being married to such a passionate man, but he gets caught up in the store so easily sometimes.” Her focus returned to Alex and the cuffs. “She suits you.”

  He watched the enigmatic woman stroll casually through the swinging door that separated the service area from the back. “I can never get a good read on her.”

  Patrick topped off a to-go cup for a customer with the last of a pot. He started prepping another batch, setting a fresh carafe under the dispenser. “What do you mean?”

  “She’s familiar with this stuff, right?” He gestured to the cuffs. “The whole deal with the lifestyle.”

  “You could say that.”

  “I just can’t tell which way she identifies. Domme or sub. Some days I’m sure it’s one. Other days I’m not so sure.”

  “She was a Domme for a while. Seemed pretty settled into it. Then Tony came along, flipped her world and sent her reeling. She’s been a submissive ever since. I don’t know the whole story of how, didn’t ask for details when Allison talked about it.”

  “Just when I think I’ve got this whole thing all figured out.”

  “Welcome to ‘you people’, brother.” Patrick stopped at the door. “I’m going to go talk about the delivery for the next morning with Genevieve. Give me a shout if you need a hand with something.”

  A few hours later Patrick had gone home to have a celebratory dinner with Allison, and Alex settled into the quiet comfort he found in working behind the counter of the shop. A few late-night customers still remained, dutifully working on their laptops or huddled close together sharing a mug of decaf. Which was just fine with him as it gave him a chance to settle back into his routine.

  He was so busy prepping the supplies for the next day he didn’t realize he had a customer waiting for him until he turned around. Who he found staring at him brought him to an abrupt halt and shattered the quiet night he’d been having.

  Vivian.

  “Evening.” He braced his hands on the counter, preparing himself for the onslaught she would undoubtedly deliver. Maybe he would get lucky and she was in a good mood. Given the frizzy state of her normally shiny black hair he sensed trouble. “Can I fix you something?”

  “I hate coffee. You know that.”

  He winced at her scornful tone. Some days he really hated being right. “Yes, I remember. We have tea as well. Chamomile used to be your favorite.”

  “What are those?” Her pretty features distorted as she frowned.

  He glanced down remembering the leather at his wrist again. The fact he kept forgetting them was both good and bad. Right now it was very bad. “I was running late earlier. Forgot to take them off.”

  “What. Are. Those.”

  Alex swallowed. “Probably better if I don’t answer that.”

  “It’s that horrible BDSM stuff isn’t it?” Vivian’s eyes shined bright with anger as their gazes met. “What is wrong with you…you…sickening perverted creature.”

  Aw, hell. This wasn’t going to be a good conversation. Better to curb this conversation before the customers were dragged through the drama. “Viv, stop.” He purposefully kept his voice calm and level. “Don’t start this up again. Not here.”

  She pointed, shaking an accusatory finger at him. “Don’t you dare call me that. And don’t tell me to stop. How could you do this to me? How could you humiliate me like this?” Her voice rose to a screech. A sign there would be no reasoning with her, not once she got this spun up. She’d been much the same during their marriage.

  Still, for the sake of his customers, and maybe his own sanity, he had to try to reason with her. “If you just calm down we can talk about this.”

  “I will not talk to you while you’re wearing those vile things.” She pointed to the thick leather. Given her visible disgust he was sure she would spit on him at any moment. Things were spiraling quickly out of control and if he didn’t get a handle on the situation they were both going to end up saying something they regretted.

  He’d already been down this road with her.

  And he wasn’t interested in a repeat performance.

  “Say whatever you want, Vivian, you aren’t going to make me feel guilty about my choices. You already did plenty while we were married. And I will not continue to argue with you in my place of business.” He leaned closer, lowering his voice to provide discretion for her. “Get out.”

  “What happened to you, Alex?”

  His eyes narrowed. “I got out from under your thumb.”

  “You’re disgusting.” Vivian backed away from the counter shaking her finger at him again. “You left me for her, didn’t you? I wouldn’t be your slave. I wouldn’t let you tie me up and beat me so you left me. Didn’t you? Didn’t you?”

  Obviously she wasn’t going to let embarrassment overshadow her disgust.

  “Vivian, stop.”

  “No. I will not stop. I will not stop until everyone in town knows you’re some sick pervert who gets off beating women. Just like your father.” She stormed out, hair flying behind her as she ran down the sidewalk yelling.

  Accusatory gazes arrowed on him as tension filled Perfect Shot.

  Some of the gazes narrowed as several customers stood, hastily grabbing their coats as they beat a path to the door. On their way to feed the town gossip mill no doubt. The best he could do now was damage control and hope for the best.

  “Sorry, folks, next round of coffee is on the house.”

  No one moved.

  Well, at least the ones who were left hadn’t run out the door yelling and screaming about what had just happened. More than likely they were sticking around to see what other forms of fuckery the Conners family would dole out tonight.

  He’d already learned he wasn’t much of an exhibitionist and wasn’t interested in being the star attraction in whatever the gossips had to say. Lost for what to do next he dropped his head to his hands, taking a few calming breaths to settle the irritation spreading through his veins. This crazy roller-coaster train he’d boarded could pull into the station at any time now.

  A firm hand swept over his back.

  He recognized Elena’s touch and exhaled, loving the calming effect she had on him. She always knew when to be at the right place at the perfect time. Despite her soothing presence he couldn’t simply brush away the vision of the utter hatred that had darkened Vivian’s eyes.

  “Alex?”

  He couldn’t find the words necessary to give her the reassurance he was all right. He wasn’t. Not after such a violent confrontation. The painful process of the divorce came rushing back. Damn it, he’d thought he’d dealt with these fragments of his past. Why couldn’t history just stay history and leave him alone so he could go live his life?

  How much more did he need to sacrifice?

  Elena nudged him out of the way. “What can I get for you, Britney?” He stood shoving his hands into his pockets as he watched her flip over two mugs. She filled one with the house blend as she waited for the milk to steam. “Go sit down for a few minutes.” She shoved the mug at him, knocking her hip against his as she smiled and winked.

  The comfort and familiarity of a cup of coffee in his hand wasn’t enough to break him out of his stupor. He pushed the mug away as he sat in the most secluded area he could find, a small plush chair tucked into a corner near the bathroom. He covered his eyes with
his arms, his head falling back to rest against the cushion. The steady buzz of conversation filling the coffeehouse blurred as he replayed the argument with Vivian in his head.

  Those words.

  Her distraught expression.

  Her revulsion at the choices he’d made, at the direction his life had taken.

  If he’d just kept his mouth shut a few years ago he wouldn’t have to deal with this mess. They never would have gotten divorced. Maybe they’d even have kids by now. Vivian would have everything she had ever wanted.

  Her heart’s desire.

  And he’d be a miserable fuck.

  A gentle hand swept up his thigh. He moved to brush it away, but the hand simply tightened in warning.

  “Go away, Elena.”

  Her hand slipped under the leg of his pants, closing around his ankle. “I don’t think leaving you alone right now is a good idea.”

  He shook his leg in an effort to kick her hand away, but she held fast. “What the hell do you know?”

  “I know you’re wondering how much easier your life would have been if you hadn’t said anything. You’re wondering why you even bothered to say anything to her because your life would have been so much simpler. You’d still have the perfect white picket fence. Maybe even have a kid and be on your way toward being president of the PTA.”

  He nodded slowly, fighting the hard ball of emotions taking up residence in his stomach. “I’m sorry. It’s not a reflection on you.”

  “She was a large part of your life for a long period of time. You’re still hurt she turned her back on you when you needed her the most. She’s still hurting too judging by what she said.”

  “So you heard her?”

  “Whole town probably did. I don’t take offense to those thoughts. In fact I’d worry if you didn’t have them. There’s nothing demented or perverted about you, Alex. Despite what Vivian seems to think.”

  “I know. I’m happy with the choices I’ve made that have brought me to this point. I wouldn’t change a thing.” Well, maybe one. “I just—”

  Her fingers squeezed his thigh. “Meet me at the warehouse in an hour.”