A Thousand Cuts (CELL BLOCK C)

by Melissa Toppen

  “Girlfriend? I didn’t realize you guys were officially official,” I snip, taking my frustration out on her when she’s the last person that deserves it. “And perhaps you should have thought about that before you started dating your best friend’s brother. Kind of takes conflict of interest to a whole new level.”

  “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel, Ains?” She takes a full step back, anger tugging at her features.

  “Pretty sure I just did,” I grumble, resuming wiping down the table.

  “Wow.” She lets out an angry laugh. “Listen, I get that you’re stressed out and you’re worried about telling Finn, but taking your shit out on me isn’t helping your situation. If your plan is to alienate everyone, you’re well on your way to achieving your goal.”

  With that, she spins around and storms off.

  I straighten and call after her, “Lily.”

  She doesn’t turn around as she slams the kitchen door open and disappears moments later.

  I know I should go after her, apologize, but for some reason I can’t bring myself to do it. Being angry with myself has bled into me being angry with Lily for absolutely no reason at all.

  So what if she’s dating Finn. I’m actually happy for the two of them. And she’s right. She’s lying to her boyfriend for me, which isn’t fair of me to ask her to do. And yet she’s still doing it, despite the fact that it could blow up her entire relationship when Finn finds out.

  Maybe I’m overreacting. Maybe Finn will take the news just as I did when I found out about him and Lily. Maybe he’ll be a little surprised and caught off guard, but at the end of the day he’ll realize that we make each other happy and that will be enough for him.

  But even I know that’s wishful thinking.

  Finn raised me. Finn gave up some of the best years of his life to make sure I didn’t end up in the foster care system. Finn worked countless hours at crappy jobs to make enough money to keep us afloat. And I repay him with secrets and lies.

  I know how protective Finn is of me. I also know how well he knows Ryland, which means he’s witnessed the worst parts of him. But at the same time, that also means he knows the best parts of him. And he obviously trusts him with me. Hell, Ryland helped raise me right alongside Finn.

  Honestly, I’m not sure if that hurts or helps my case.

  I watch Lily leave a few minutes later. I know I should go after her but I’m too wrapped up in my own head to bother making things right with my best friend. That should be my first indication that I’ve gone astray.

  When I head out of the restaurant nearly thirty minutes later, I’ve made the decision that Finn deserves the truth and that I need to be the one to tell him. I know Ryland is his best friend, but I’m his sister, his family, and I owe it to him to be the one to do it.

  I don’t know how or when exactly, but I know it needs to be soon. And while the thought makes me extremely nervous, I also feel good about the decision. There’s only one thing holding me back from having a real relationship with Ryland and this is it.

  As I head across the street toward the dark parking lot where my car is parked, I get an eerie feeling that I’m being watched. I don’t know how to explain it other than the way the small hairs on the back of my neck stand up and this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach.

  Quickening my strides, I jog the remaining few feet to my car, not able to get the door open fast enough. I quickly duck inside and pull the door closed, clicking the locks in place.

  Staring out into the darkness, there’s nothing that catches my eye. No movement that I can see.

  As I jam the keys into the ignition and start my car, I let out a slow breath, chalking it up to my mind playing tricks on me. A moment later my car sputters to life.

  Clicking on the headlights, I let out an audible scream when I catch sight of someone standing in front of my car. It takes me several seconds to realize that it’s my co-worker, Davis. He holds his hands up as if to say I come in peace before gesturing to the material in his hand.

  Realizing what it is, I roll down my window as Davis makes his way around my car.

  “Sorry if I scared you.” He extends my cardigan to me. Even though it’s summer, the restaurant is always freezing, so I typically bring a sweater with me to work to put on if I get cold. “You left this in the back.”

  “Thank you.” I take the article of clothing from him.

  “You headed home?”

  “Yeah, I’ve got class early in the morning,” I tell him, throwing the sweater into the passenger seat.

  “Gotcha.” He shoves his hands into the front pockets of his pants. “Anyway I could interest you in dinner this weekend?” he asks.

  “That’s sweet of you to ask, Davis, but I don’t think I can.” I let him down easy, the same way I have every time he’s asked me out, which has been a lot over the few months we’ve worked together.

  “Too much schoolwork?” he guesses.

  “Well that, and I’m kind of seeing someone,” I admit. I know it’s a baby step, but it feels good to say it out loud so I don’t stop there. “It’s getting kind of serious and I don’t think he would take too lightly to me having dinner with another guy.”

  “Say no more.” He gives me an easy smile. “But if things don’t work out, you know where to find me.” He nods, taking a step back. “And for what it’s worth, he’s a lucky guy.”

  “Goodnight, Davis.” I laugh lightly, rolling up the window.

  He throws me a small wave before spinning around and heading across the lot to where his car is. I wait until he’s climbed into the driver’s seat before popping my car into drive and quickly pulling out of the lot.

  Chapter 20

  Ryland

  “You’re in a good mood,” I observe, watching Finn practically skip out of Jim’s office.

  “Just put in my notice.” He smiles, stopping next to the car I’m working on.

  “You got the job?”

  “I got the job.” He nods.

  “Man, that’s awesome.” I resist the urge to bump his fist, considering my hands are pretty fucking grease covered at the moment. “Congrats.”

  “Thank you.”

  “We should celebrate.”

  “We should. But it will have to wait. I promised Jim I’d pick up a half day tomorrow in exchange for him letting me take a half day yesterday.”

  “You just put in your notice and you’re still picking up weekend shifts.” I shake my head at him. “Overachiever.”

  “I prefer to think of it as I’m a man of my word.”

  “Well I’m proud of you. It’s about time you branched out and did something for yourself.”

  “Thanks. I thought so, too.”

  “Anything spurring on this sudden change of heart? I have to say, I thought you were a lifer here.”

  “I just want more, ya know.” He shrugs.

  “Lily wouldn’t have anything to do with this, would she?” I give him a knowing smirk.

  “Maybe a little,” he admits, rocking back on his heels. “But more than anything I think I need a change. I’m sick of working my hands to the bone for pennies. It’s about time I cashed into something a little more profitable.” His eyes dart to my hands.

  “Trust me, I totally get it. I’ll probably be working here for the rest of my life.”

  His expression instantly falls.

  “Shit, dude. I’m sorry. Here I am rubbing my success in your face when it’s my fault you’re in this predicament to begin with.”

  “It’s not your fault,” I immediately cut him off. “I made a choice and I stand by that choice.”

  “I’ll never be able to repay you for what you did for me, you know that, right? Seriously, I don’t know what I would have done...”

  “Don’t,” I cut him off. “We’ve been over this countless times. What’s done is done. Besides, you should be focused on you right now. Hot girlfriend. Fancy new job. Things are really starting to look up for Finn Kenter.” I
pick up the rag off my cart and wipe my hands.

  Finn chuckles. “What about you? I feel like you’ve been kind of MIA recently. You wouldn’t happen to be seeing some hot girl of your own now, would ya?”

  Guilt punches me square in the gut. “Nah, you know me. I’m not much for settling down.” I shrug, knowing that up until recently the statement would have been true.

  I’ve never been a one-woman man. In fact, until now I can’t say that I’ve ever been in a completely monogamous relationship. Then again, I’ve never met a woman that made me want to be. That is, until Ainsley.

  She’s different. She’s always been different than all the other girls. She makes me want to be different, too. Better, if that’s possible.

  “I thought that about myself at one time but look at me now.” Finn lightly hits my shoulder. “Just takes meeting the right woman.”

  I desperately want to tell him that I have met her. That she’s someone I never expected but was standing in front of me all this time. Hell, I almost do. I almost utter the words. But then I think about the fallout of that confession and decide that now is not the time or place. Besides, Ainsley was very adamant when we spoke last night that she wanted to be the one to tell him.

  As much as I feel like it should be me, a conversation between two best friends, she didn’t agree. And I care enough about her to back her on this. She’s right. This is her family. A family I haven’t been a part of for the better part of five years.

  But I’m ready for it to all be out in the open. As much as I’ve enjoyed our weeks of sneaking around, I’m ready to take our relationship public. I want the entire world to know that she is mine, including Finn. No matter what that means for us.

  Even if he’s pissed, I know eventually he’ll forgive me. He has to. Because giving up Ainsley isn’t something I’m willing to consider.

  “Well, I guess I should get back to the grind. If I want Jim to pay me for my last two weeks I might actually have to get some work done.”

  “Sounds good, man.” I nod, watching him walk away moments later.

  The rest of the day goes by at a snail’s pace. I’m in a shit mood when I finally leave the shop nearly thirty minutes after closing time. Everyone but Jim has left for the day, which isn’t unusual. He’s always the first one here and the last to leave.

  “Hey.” I look up as I cross the lot, surprised when I see Ainsley’s old Malibu sitting in the parking lot, her ass leaning against the hood looking so damn sexy it takes everything in me not to pull her into my arms when I reach her.

  “Hey. What are you doing here?” I stop directly in front of her. The sight of her significantly improving my mood.

  “I picked up the lunch shift after class. Finished up a little while ago and thought I’d swing by and see if you needed a ride home.”

  “I was just going to walk,” I tell her, which is what I do most days. The shop is only about a fifteen-minute walk from the house and I like the time alone to think.

  “Well not anymore.” She hits me with a stunning smile as she pushes away from the car. “Come on. Get in.” She crosses around to the passenger side. “You’re driving,” she explains when I hit her with a questioning look.

  “You sure you want to trust me with your baby? I’m a little rusty.”

  “My baby. Please, if you wreck this piece of crap you’d be doing me a favor.” She laughs. “Now get in.”

  “Okay.” I chuckle, crossing around to the driver’s side before opening the door. It makes a horrible creaking sound. “What the hell is wrong with your door?” I ask, cringing at the noise.

  “It’s done that forever.” She leans across the console to look up at me.

  “Well that simply won’t do.” I slide down into the seat and fire the engine to life. Dropping the car into gear, I pull the car forward, pulling into the open garage door rather than onto the street.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she asks when I kill the engine.

  “I’m going to fix this fucking door,” I tell her, climbing out of the car moments later.

  Jim comes out of the office as Ainsley gets out of the passenger side. His gaze swings from me to her and then back to me.

  “What are you two doing?” he asks curiously.

  “Ainsley has something going on with her door. Mind if I hang out for a few and take a look? I can lock up when we’re done.”

  “Fine by me.” He nods, crossing around the car to Ainsley. “My lord, girl, you get prettier and prettier every day.” He pulls her into a hug.

  “Hi, Jim.” She grins.

  “I trust you more than I trust him,” he tells her, jerking his thumb in my direction. “Make sure he doesn’t forget to shut the lights off.”

  “You can count on me,” she promises, smiling.

  “Really, Jim?” I call after him as he walks away. I watch his shoulders shake with laughter but he doesn’t turn back around. Seconds later he exits out of the open garage door, leaving Ainsley and me alone in the shop.

  “There,” I announce less than ten minutes later, opening the driver’s side door. It opens smooth and easy without a sound to be heard. “All fixed.”

  “If I had known it would be that easy, I would have had Finn fix it ages ago.” She closes the door and then opens it again, her smile widening when it once again makes no noise.

  “Are you saying that anyone could have done this job? And here I was feeling special,” I tease, wrapping an arm around her waist before pulling her to me.

  “What? Of course you’re the only one that could have done it.” She laughs. “My hero.”

  “Now you’re just being a little smart ass.” I grab a handful of her ass cheek and squeeze.

  She lets out a little yelp, her hands sliding around the back of my neck.

  “Perhaps I owe you a proper thank you.” She leans in, running her nose along mine.

  “I think you do.” I grin, pressing a soft kiss to her mouth. “Of course, I can think of a few ways you can thank me without uttering a single word.” I turn, pressing her against the side of the car.

  “I think I like the way you think.” She giggles against my lips.

  “What the fuck?” My entire body tenses at the sound.

  Ainsley and I break apart so fast that I knock into my tool cart and send it flying into the stone pillar a couple feet away. The tools clang around and send a vibration of noise spiraling through the otherwise silent garage.

  When my gaze swings upward, I see Finn stalking toward me, his gaze murderous. I have zero time to react before his hands tangle in my shirt and he halls me backward against the car, barely missing Ainsley as she jumps out of the way. My back slams into the door, the side view mirror catching my side.

  “What the fuck?” he screams in my face, pulling me forward a few inches to slam me into the car a second time.

  “Finn!” Ainsley yells seconds before I see her tiny hands wrap around his bicep in an effort to pull him off of me. “Let go of him.”

  “My fucking sister.” He shakes Ainsley off, all his rage pinned directly at me.

  “I can explain.” I try to keep my voice level and even.

  “Explain,” he snarls, rearing back seconds before his fist connects with the side of my face, snapping my head to the side. “Explain to me why I show up here to see if you want to grab a beer only to find you making out with my little sister.” I’ve barely recovered from the first blow before he lays the second. I feel the skin below my eye split open, and even though every bone in my body is screaming for me to fight back, I refuse to raise a hand to him.

  “Finn, let him go!” Ainsley tries again, this time grabbing his forearm as she pulls with all her might. It doesn’t do her a bit of good, but that doesn’t stop her from trying.

  “I fucking trusted you!” he screams in my face. “I trusted you!”

  “Finn. I said stop!” Ainsley screams so loud that he has no choice but to acknowledge her.

  His gaze moves to her.
r />   “You have exactly five seconds to get the fuck out of this garage,” he warns.

  “Or what?” She steps in closer. “What, Finn?” She shoves at him. “Are you going to ground me? Take me home and spank my butt? Or are you going to punch me next? What? What are you going to do?”

  He shoves me against the car door again before he releases me, stepping toward his sister.

  “I’m not going to tell you again, Ainsley. Go the fuck home.”

  “Fuck you!” She steps up to him, poking him in the chest with her pointer finger. “You don’t get to tell me what to do.”

  “The fuck I don’t. You live under my roof.”

  “So what? That gives you a right to tell me who I can and cannot be with?”

  “Be with?” He chokes over the words. “You’re telling me you actually want to be with him?” He cranes his neck in my direction, the disgust on his face unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.

  “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you. And had you not come barging in here like some damn wild animal I was going to tell you just that when I got home tonight.”

  “How long has this been going on?”

  “It doesn’t matter how long it’s been going on,” she fires back. “What matters is that I’m in love with him.” Her admission doesn’t just shock Finn, it shocks the shit out of me as well.

  Sure, she’s said she was in love with me when she was younger, but I never took it for she was actually in love with me. Instead, more of a dramatic way of saying she really liked me. To hear her say it now catches me more by surprise than it probably should.

  “You’re in love with him?” Finn draws back, hurt and shock registering through his whole body.

  “I am. I love him and I want to be with him and you’re going to accept that whether you want to or not.”

  “Like hell I am. This ends now.” His face turns to me seconds before his finger is in my face. “Do you fucking hear me?”