A Thousand Cuts (CELL BLOCK C)

by Melissa Toppen

  “I don’t need you to do anything. You see, I’m the one in control here. Not you.” He pulls the knife out from under my chin.

  I let out a slow breath but I’m sure to keep my gaze locked on him. I’m not foolish enough to look away. He’s demanding to be seen and I am in no place to deny his request, he’s made sure of that.

  “For now, I think I’ll indulge a little.” He leans down and slides the knife through the rope binding my feet, sawing it away. “Time to christen your new room.” He stands, jerking me to my feet. My legs wobble under my weight and I nearly topple over. Even if I attempted to run, I don’t think I’d have the strength to make my legs carry me fast enough to get away from him.

  Looping an arm around my waist, he leads me to a tiny dank room under the stairs and guides me inside. There’s a small twin bed tucked into the corner void of any bedding, the room otherwise empty.

  “I hope you like it in here,” he tells me, crossing the small space. “I cleaned it out just for you.” He shoves me down on top of the mattress moments later, leaving my arms angled awkwardly behind me.

  At first I thought maybe this was a whim. Maybe Oscar had too much to drink and took things too far. But I’m starting to realize that he planned this. He planned all of it. And it’s even worse than I thought. He didn’t bring me here to kill me. He brought me here to keep me.

  “Oscar, you don’t have to do this,” I beg as he hovers over me, popping open the button of his jeans. “Just untie my hands. Untie my hands and I’ll give you what you want.” I try to kick him off of me when he moves to remove my shorts, but it only serves to egg him on.

  “Keep kicking and I’ll tie your feet to the bed,” he warns, ripping the jean material down my legs.

  I’m torn between wanting to fight with everything I have and knowing if I do it won’t do me a bit of good. My hands are still bound. Hell, I’m not even sure I could get off this bed if I tried. And yet, I know I have to.

  “If you behave, I might bring you something to eat and drink after.” Oscar straightens seconds before his hand slides between my thighs.

  I can’t let this happen. Without warning, I kick at Oscar’s hand that’s holding the knife as hard as I can. It goes flying across the room. Before he has a chance to react, I pull my leg up then extend it into his groin with every ounce of strength I have left.

  Oscar howls in pain before dropping to his knees. I roll and kick, somehow managing to get myself off the bed, but I’m not quick enough. Just as I turn to run, Oscar grabs my ankle and given the weakened state of my legs, my knee buckles and I fall to the floor, my shoulder colliding hard with the cold concrete.

  I ignore the pain shooting through me as I try to kick out of Oscar’s grasp, attempting to claw my way to the door. His energy is split between keeping me in the room and trying to reach the knife at the same time. Which gives me enough of an upper hand. When he extends for the knife, I pull my foot back and the second he turns back toward me, I land a heel straight to his face. I hear the crack of cartilage as my foot collides with his nose. Blood starts spurting everywhere.

  Oscar loses his grip on my foot and I’m able to muster enough strength to scramble away.

  “You fucking bitch!” he screams as I reach the door.

  I don’t turn back to see what he’s doing or where he is. I have only one thought pumping through every pore in my body... Run.

  Despite how impossible each step feels to climb, I somehow manage to make it to the top. Only when I reach the door, it’s locked.

  Panic and fear nearly cripple me, but I can’t give up yet. I push on the door with all my might, kicking it and ramming my shoulder into it as hard as I can.

  “Did you really think I’d make it that easy for you?” Oscar says from behind me, the sound of his voice causing the little hairs on the back of my neck to stand.

  I turn to find him standing at the bottom of the stairs, blood pouring from his nose, soaking his gray t-shirt.

  “You know.” He waves the knife at me as he steps onto the bottom step. “I wasn’t going to hurt you. I was only going to keep you here with me, where we could be together forever.” He smiles. “But now. When I’m done with you you’re going to beg for death.”

  “I’d rather die than be stuck here with you!” I scream.

  “If that’s what you want.” He stops two steps below me, holding the knife in a way that if I try to kick he can easily stab or cut me to stop my advance.

  “What I want is for you to let me go.” My voice shakes, my adrenaline running so high I feel like my body might split apart at any moment.

  I twist my hands, the rope biting into my wrist with every move I make.

  “We both know that isn’t going to happen.” He lifts his leg to climb another step and I know it’s now or never.

  Even if I die, I’d rather die than give him any part of me. Without a second thought, I lunge at him. He’s able to get the knife up just in time that it rips into my stomach as we both go tumbling down the stairs.

  His weight crashes over me as we roll. My arm snaps behind me, sending a blinding pain through my body. The blade slices deeper into my abdomen and I gasp for air. And then my head collides with the concrete floor seconds before everything fades to black.

  Chapter 26

  Ryland

  I’ve never been scared of anything. Not my stepdad. Not prison. Not anything.

  That is until last night.

  Walking down those stairs to find Ainsley unconscious and bleeding, I felt a fear like I had never known. A paralyzing fear. One that sliced me straight to my core.

  We were too late...

  In that moment I truly believed she was dead.

  But then I got closer and I saw her chest moving. It was shallow and labored, but she was breathing. And once again I had hope.

  I didn’t know how bad her injuries were, only that she wouldn’t wake up. Her arms were bound behind her. She was bleeding from her stomach and her head. She looked so pale and lifeless that I was afraid to touch her.

  It didn’t take long to confirm it was Oscar laying beneath her. Even with his busted nose and blood covered face, I recognized him instantly.

  And he was dead.

  The paramedics called it when they arrived on scene. He’s lucky the fall down the stairs broke his neck because had I gotten my hands on him first, his death would have been slow and so painful he would have been begging me to end it.

  “How’s our girl?” I look up when Finn enters the hospital room, two cups of coffee in his hand.

  “No change,” I tell him, shifting in the uncomfortable chair next to Ainsley’s bed.

  “Here.” He extends one cup to me. “The doctor said it could take hours for her to wake up, maybe even days,” he reminds me.

  Like I need the reminder. I hung onto every word the doctor said like a lifeline, because I need something to cling to. Some sort of hope.

  It’s been fourteen hours since we arrived at the hospital. Fourteen long, grueling hours of waiting and hoping.

  They’d rushed Ainsley into surgery the moment we arrived. It took them nearly five hours to repair the damage in her abdomen and close the gash in her head, and another two to fix her arm which was shattered so severely they didn’t know if they could. Thankfully, they have a skilled orthopedic surgeon on staff that was able to set her arms with pins. The recovery process will be long and painful, and will require future surgeries but at least she’s still here. At least she’s alive.

  Learning that there was no indication of sexual assault was also a huge relief. Considering how we found her, stripped to her underwear with her shirt hanging open.

  I shudder to think about what she must have went through down in that basement. How hard she clearly fought.

  “I know,” I finally respond, lifting the cup to my lips before taking a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

  “Have you gotten any sleep at all?” Finn asks, stepping up beside Ainsley’s bed to look
down at his sister.

  “I’ve dozed a little but not much.”

  “You really need to try to get some sleep. You’re not going to be any good for her when she wakes up if you’re walking around like a zombie.”

  “You’re one to talk.” I give him a knowing look.

  “I slept for a couple of hours this morning.” He shrugs, taking a drink of his coffee. He stares down at Ainsley for a long moment before his gaze slides to mine. “I can’t stop thinking about all the time we wasted. If we had tried harder. If we had acted faster. Then Ainsley wouldn’t be laying in this hospital bed right now.”

  “Finn, this isn’t on you. You were the one that knew something was off. You were the one who called Lily, who came to me. You led the charge that ultimately led us to her.”

  “And yet I’m the reason she found herself in this mess to begin with.” He swallows hard. “Had I not given her an ultimatum, had I supported her when she said she wanted to be with you, she never would have left.”

  “You’re right, maybe Oscar wouldn’t have gotten to her when he did. But the fact still remains that he would have. You heard the police. There was evidence in that cabin that he’d been stalking her for months. That he had been planning this for months. None of this is your fault.”

  “Well it doesn’t feel that way to me. I can’t help but think about how much I let her down. For fuck’s sake, Ryland, I didn’t know a thing about the Oscar situation. She told me they broke up and that was that. I had no idea that he stalked her. That he harassed her. That he was so obsessed with her he’d kidnap her. What does that say about me?”

  “It says that you were raising a teenage girl. You can’t expect that she’s going to tell you everything and you can’t hold yourself accountable for things happening that were beyond your control.”

  “I just feel like I failed her on every level.”

  “You didn’t,” I argue, pushing to a stand so that we are both standing, facing each other on opposite sides of Ainsley’s bed.

  “I did.” He nods. “And I failed you, too.” He blows out a heavy breath through his nose. “You are my family. The one person I know without a second thought that I can count on. Not only did I let you take the fall for something I did, but I tried to stand in the way of you finding happiness once you finally got your life back. I was scared. Of losing her. Of losing you. I felt myself losing control and I panicked. And I said some really shitty things. I don’t fucking care if you can’t afford some big fancy house in some hoity-toity neighborhood, and neither does Ainsley. She’s never cared about that. I was the one who wanted out. I was the one who wanted more.”

  “And you can still have it,” I tell him. “Finn, you’re twenty-six years old. You still have your entire life ahead of you. If you want more, the only person standing in your way is you.”

  “I guess.” He shuffles his feet, looking down at his sister. “I just always wanted her to be taken care of, you know? I wanted to protect her from anyone or anything that could potentially hurt her.”

  “Including me,” I interject, pulling his gaze back to me. “Look, I get it. Just because I’ve looked out for you and Ainsley doesn’t mean I’m this perfect man. I’m certainly not a man that deserves someone like her.” It’s my turn to look down at Ainsley. Her stapled head. Her bruised face. Her pale complexion. It feels like someone is sticking a white-hot branding iron straight down my throat, burning me from the inside out.

  “You are exactly the kind of man that Ainsley needs and deserves.” I look back up to find him watching me. “Ainsley doesn’t need a perfect man. She needs someone that will fight for her. That will defend her. That will stand by her. That will put her before himself, always. I can’t think of one single person on this Earth more equipped to do that than you. And she loves you. Hell, I think maybe she’s always loved you. It’s not my place to stand in the way of you two being together, and quite frankly, I don’t want to. Seeing you two happy means more to me than anything else.”

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say you’ll love her no matter what life throws your way. Say you’ll take care of her always. Say you’ll never let anything like this happen to her ever again.” He gives me a sad smile. “Promise me that she will always be safe with you.”

  “I promise.”

  “Then you have my blessing. Not that you ever actually needed it.”

  “You’re sure?”

  “Is she who you want?”

  “More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life,” I answer with complete honesty.

  “Then yes, I’m sure.” He nods. “I’m not saying it won’t take some getting used to. Seeing you two together.”

  “I expect that it will.” I chuckle.

  “But I think it’s time I take a step back and let Ainsley make her own choices.”

  “And maybe time for you to move forward with your life as well,” I tell him. “You got the new job. Maybe now you make things right with your girl.”

  “I was awful to her. If it wasn’t for us trying to find Ainsley she probably still wouldn’t be speaking to me. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t deserve it. She deserves better than I gave her.”

  “Then apologize. No one’s perfect. You’re allowed to fuck up from time to time. It’s about what you do next that matters.”

  “Fuck you.” He grins. “I swear, prison made you smart or something. You never used to talk like this before. In fact, you probably would bust my balls for even mentioning feelings.”

  “In my defense, we were young and stupid back then. I like to think I’ve matured with age. Maybe you should try it sometime.”

  “Ha. Ha.” He flips me off.

  “Would you two shut the hell up?” We both look down at Ainsley, my heart nearly leaping out of my chest.

  Both of her eyes are open but she’s not looking at either of us. She blinks once, then twice, before her gaze finally finds mine.

  “You’re awake.” I smile, the rush of relief that overtakes me is so intense it causes tears to fill my eyes.

  “Where am I?” She squeezes my hand when I slide mine into her uninjured one.

  “You’re in the hospital,” Finn answers, pulling her attention to him. “We’ll explain everything soon, but first I need to get the doctor.” With that, he spins around and quickly jogs out of the room.

  “Ryland?” She looks up at me, her eyes full of question.

  “Don’t worry,” I tell her, leaning down. “You’re safe. That’s all that matters.” I gently rest my forehead against hers, careful not to put any pressure on her. “I love you, Ainsley. I’m so sorry it took me until now to say it.” I press a soft kiss to her lips before pulling back.

  “You love me?” She gives me a crooked smile and I realize she’s probably feeling the effects of the pain medication they’ve been pumping into her IV all day.

  “I do.”

  “Say it again.” Her eyes flutter closed.

  “I love you,” I repeat, watching her smile reappear moments before her eyes reopen.

  “I love you, too.” Her eyes close again and I can’t help but wonder if she’ll remember a second of this conversation. Not that it really matters because telling her I love her is something I plan to do a million more times. I’m going to say it so much that eventually she’s going to be sick of hearing it. And then I’m going to say it some more.

  Ainsley has always been my reason for living. From the time she was just a little girl I knew there wasn’t a thing in this world I wouldn’t do for her. She gave me something to fight for. Something to protect. Something to keep me straight when the whole world threatened to throw me off track.

  I’ve loved her in some capacity since the day she was born. And while I may have never expected that love to morph into what it is today, nothing has ever felt more right in my entire life.

  Chapter 27

  Ainsley

  “Careful,” Finn says, watching Ryland help me out of the car like I�
�m some fragile piece of glass that’s going to shatter if anything touches me.

  It’s how he’s been treating me since this whole ordeal happened. And while I understand why he’s acting this way, I wish he’d realize that I’m stronger than I look.

  When I woke up in the hospital nine days ago, I had no recollection of the events that had taken place. But slowly my memory started to return, and with it, the reminder of how differently this whole situation could have turned out.

  Thanks to Finn, Ryland, and Lily, my life didn’t end along with Oscar’s. The doctor said had they not found me when they did that I would have bled out within the hour. That’s how close it came.

  I had no idea when I flung myself at Oscar on that staircase the three of them were already on their way. Though I’m not sure that would have stopped me from doing what I did. I didn’t set out to kill Oscar or myself. I just wanted to stop him from taking any more from me than he already had.

  I’d do it all over again if I had to.

  It wasn’t until a few days ago that I learned what everyone else already knew. That Oscar had been home a lot longer than I knew. That he had flunked out of school and lost his baseball scholarship, and for some reason he felt I was to blame. His possessiveness over me had become an obsession and it became clear the night he kidnapped me that he was prepared to see it all the way through.

  “I’ve got her.” Ryland shakes his head at Finn as he guides me away from the car, kicking the door shut with his foot.

  “I love you both, but if you two don’t relax I’m going to go stay with Lily,” I warn them, leaning into Ryland’s side as he helps me up the front steps. “I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.” Even though the truth is it’s still difficult for me to get around. The injury to my abdomen was pretty severe and I still have a lot of healing to do.

  “Trust me, that much we know is true.” Ryland winks at me.

  Despite all the pain and discomfort I feel physically, mentally I’m not sure I’ve ever felt more alive. What happened with Oscar made me realize a lot of things. The most important being that you can’t take a single moment for granted. And from now on, I plan to cherish every minute I get. Especially the ones I get to share with Ryland.