A Thousand Cuts (CELL BLOCK C)

by Melissa Toppen

  I know it won’t be an easy road. If the nightmares that have plagued my sleep nearly every night are any indication, I know I’m far from okay. But I also know eventually I will be.

  I’m just so grateful that I’m still here. That Finn gave Ryland and me his blessing and that we actually have a real chance to be together. That I have the chance to finish school and see my dreams come true. That I get the chance to build the life I’ve always wanted. And that I get to do it all with the man I’ve loved since I was old enough to understand what loving someone meant.

  Life doesn’t always take the path of least resistance, but it has a funny way of spitting you out exactly where you’re meant to be. And I have no doubt that here, with Ryland, is where I belong. It’s where I’ve always belonged.

  “You coming, slow poke?” Finn teases from the porch, holding the front door open for me.

  “Careful,” I warn. “I might be slow but I can still stab you in your sleep.”

  Ryland goes ramrod straight next to me at the same moment Finn’s expression pales.

  “What?” I ask, looking between the two of them. “Too soon?”

  “You have a sick sense of humor.” Finn shakes his head, stepping to the side so that Ryland and I can pass.

  “Well if you can’t learn to laugh at the bad shit that happens then you’ll never find much joy in this life,” I repeat the phrase our dad used to always say. It never made much sense to me as a kid, but now I see the wisdom behind his words. Because it’s true.

  “Surprise!” Lily squeals right as I step through the front door into the living room.

  I jump slightly and immediately cringe, the pain in my abdomen shooting all the way to my toes.

  “Oh shit, Ains. I’m sorry.”

  I look back up, seeing the Welcome Home banner and the multiple balloon bouquets behind her.

  “That’s okay.” I force a smile through the pain. “What is all this?”

  “It was Lily’s idea.” Ryland helps me further into the room and eases me onto the couch.

  “I thought what better way for you to come home than to come home to all your favorite things,” she sings, stepping in front of the coffee table. She waves her arms at the contents spread across the top. “We have your favorite pineapple pizza from Maggiano’s.” She opens the lid, the delicious aroma of garlic and cheese filling my nose. “We have red velvet cupcakes from your favorite bakery.” She opens the white pastry box and my mouth practically waters. “And...” she draws out. “Drum roll, please.” She beats her hands on the tops of her legs.

  “We have this.” Finn appears by her side, a plastic grocery bag in his hands. Without another word, he tips it upside down and several movies come tumbling out.

  “Every single season of The Big Bang Theory.” Lily smiles, clearly pleased with herself. “We figured if you were going to be laid up for a while it might be nice to have something to watch.”

  “You guys.” I look at my best friend and my brother before glancing to the side where Ryland has taken the seat next to me. “You didn’t have to do all this.”

  “We wanted to,” Finn assured me. “We just wanted you to be able to come home and enjoy some of your favorite things. After everything you’ve been through, you deserve it.”

  “So does that mean everyone has reserved the rest of their afternoon and evening to overeating all this unhealthy goodness and binge-watching Sheldon Cooper with me?” I smile, once again looking around at all three of them.

  “There’s nowhere else we’d rather be.” Ryland slides his hand into my un-casted one before lifting it to his mouth. He lays a light kiss to the back before resting our entwined fingers in his lap.

  I’ve always known I was lucky. Lucky to have Finn for a brother. Lucky to have Lily for a friend. Lucky to have someone like Ryland in my life, even when I was trying to act like I hated him.

  I may not have been blessed in all areas of my life, but right now, sitting here with my three favorite people in the entire world, I can’t help but feel anything but extremely grateful.

  To be here. To be alive. To have all of them in my life. Sometimes it takes thinking you’ve lost everything to realize just how much you truly stand to lose.

  “Well then, what are you waiting for?” I smile up at Lily. She claps her hands together, snagging season one off the table before making quick work of slipping it into the Blu-Ray player.

  I settle back against Ryland, turning my face up to meet his gaze. “I love you,” I mouth so no one else can hear.

  “I love you, too.” He smiles, leaning down to lay a soft kiss to my lips.

  “Oh for fuck’s sake,” Finn groans. I laugh against Ryland’s mouth before turning my attention to my brother. “I said I was okay with you two being a couple. I never said it was okay to do that shit in front of me.” He gestures between the two of us.

  “Sit down.” Lily appears at his side, shoving him into the armchair before plopping down on his lap. “You leave them alone.” She playfully smacks his arm.

  “How am I supposed to eat pizza if you’re sitting on top of me?” He gives her an amused look.

  “Guess you’ll have to use your imagination.” She drapes her legs over his lap.

  It’s strange how we all ended up here. Lily and Finn. Me and Ryland. It feels like only yesterday we were all living a different version of this life. Lily and Finn barely knew each other. Ryland was still in jail. And I was numbly walking through life, trying to convince myself that I was happy.

  And now here we are. All connected. Our lives intertwining into one weird and crazy version of a family. And as hard as the road was to get here, I’d do it all over again if it meant I’d end up right back here.

  While the people we love the most have the power to cut us the deepest, they are also the ones that make any of this worthwhile. And right now, I’m cherishing every single scar I’ve collected along the way. Because in the end, it’s all been worth it.

  Epilogue

  Ryland

  Eighteen Months Later...

  “Ryland, are you home?” Ainsley calls as she walks through the front door.

  Finn jumps to his feet and immediately heads for the backdoor.

  “Where are you going?” I hiss at him, watching him slide his coat on.

  “You asked for my blessing and I gave it. I’m not sticking around to watch.” He chuckles. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t matter how you decide to ask. She loves you. There’s no way she won’t say yes.” He gives me a reassuring smile before turning and slipping out the back door right as Ainsley enters the kitchen.

  “Was that Finn?” she asks, gesturing toward the door as she kicks off her shoes and removes her coat.

  “Yeah, he had to get home. Apparently Lily’s morning sickness has turned into evening sickness. Well, all day sickness really,” I say, stepping in front of her seconds before pulling her into my arms.

  I give her a soft kiss before pulling back to look down at her pretty face. Even with messy hair and cheeks red from the wind, she’s still the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  “I still can’t believe Lily and Finn are going to be parents.” She giggles, stepping out of my embrace.

  “I told you the minute we moved out and left those two alone they’d start reproducing.” I smack her backside when she steps past me toward the refrigerator.

  Honestly, I was more than a little surprised when Ainsley suggested we put an offer in on this house. She had just graduated college a couple months prior and had landed her first job with the county as a social worker. She was still trying to get her footing from being a student to a career woman. I didn’t think it was good timing. But like most things, once Ainsley sets her mind to it, there’s no convincing her otherwise. And like always, I caved with the first pouty lip she threw my way.

  Even though I had my reservations about getting a place of our own, I couldn’t be happier that we did. Not only has it done us good to have our own space –
the old house was a bit crowded with the four of us living there – it’s also been nice getting out from under Finn. As accepting as he’s been, Ainsley is still his little sister and having him step in every time we had a small disagreement was not good for anyone involved.

  Not to mention this house is perfect for us. It’s in an up and coming neighborhood, so we got a really good price and it’s only fifteen minutes from Finn and Lily, which I know was important to Ainsley. It’s also close to both of our jobs.

  I started working for a rehabilitation program that helps newly released convicts find housing and work about two months ago, and it has been more than I could have ever asked for. The office is right around the corner from Ainsley’s so it gives me an excuse to stop by and have lunch with her when she has time.

  “Is that your way of saying it’s my fault?” Ainsley snorts, leaning against the refrigerator door as she browses over the contents inside. “What are you thinking for dinner? We have the stuff to make tacos. Or,” she pauses, “I could whip up some pancake batter and we could have breakfast for dinner.”

  “Actually.” I clear my throat, prompting her to turn back toward me. “I was thinking maybe we could head over to Apollo’s.”

  “Apollo’s? We haven’t been there in ages.”

  “I know. And since it’s our place, I thought maybe that’s where we could go to celebrate.”

  I hadn’t planned on doing this now. Hell, I just bought the ring and talked to Finn today. But seeing her standing here, in our kitchen, so beautiful that she nearly takes my breath away, I see absolutely no reason to wait.

  “And what are we celebrating?” she asks, cocking her head to the side.

  “Well, I’m hoping we’re going to be celebrating you agreeing to be my wife.”

  With that, I drop to one knee, holding out the ring box I was hiding behind my back.

  “Ryland.” She gasps, looking so caught off guard you would think she had no idea this was coming.

  How could she not? She’s had me wrapped around her little finger since the day she was born. It shouldn’t surprise her that all these years later I want to marry her.

  “I’m not prince charming. I don’t have a horse or a castle. I can’t promise you that everything will always be perfect. It won’t be. I’ll mess up, like I often do. And you’ll forgive me, because that’s the amazing woman you are. What I can promise you is that I will love you deeper and more passionately than any man has ever loved a woman. I will stand by you. I will support you. And I will cherish every single day we get together on this Earth. I don’t have anything to offer you... except myself.” I smile up at her. “And I’m hoping that’s enough.” With that, I pop open the ring box. “Ainsley Marie Kenter, will you marry me?”

  I barely get the question out before Ainsley is in my arms. She nearly tackles me to the ground, but I’m able to balance myself just in the nick of time.

  “Yes!” she cries out, happy tears streaming down her face as I lift us both to our feet. “Yes,” she repeats once she has a chance to compose herself. “I love you.” She takes my face in both her hands.

  “I love you, too. So much. I don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I swear I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that you made the right decision in choosing me.”

  “There was never a choice. It’s always been you.” She kisses me once more before stepping back to allow me to slide the modest ring onto her finger. She looks down at it for a brief moment before she’s back in my arms, exactly where she belongs.

  The End

  Did you enjoy A Thousand Cuts?

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  Also make sure to check out the other books in the CELL BLOCK C Series

  HL Nighbor - The Ultimate Fight

  Universal Link - https://books2read.com/u/3LpzN5

  Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49251880

  Freya Barker — Victim Of Circumstance

  Universal Link — https://books2read.com/u/3JV7yP

  Goodreads — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49220908-victim-of-circumstance

  Kally Ash — Taking the Fall

  Universal — https://books2read.com/TakingTheFall

  Goodreads — https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49229464-taking-the-fall

  Alex Grayson - A Painful Promise

  Universal Link - https://books2read.com/u/brVlZZ

  Goodreads - https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49221403-a-painful-promise

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  Everything After: A Rocker Romance

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