Man Up Husband

by Danielle Sibarium

  Jacqueline: I don't understand how something suddenly comes up for the rest of the week.

  I didn't tell Jacqueline why I needed the time off, and she's starting to really piss me off. I told her it was personal, and yet she continues to email and text me. I try to just ignore it, but I don't want to lose my job either, not now when we need the insurance more than ever. I don't answer the last text. I have nothing to say.

  Jacqueline: Find some time to respond to your email. We ran into a problem with the StarFire account and it needs your attention as you are the lead.

  Fuck. I shove my phone back in my pocket before Marlena catches me with it. I promised she and Mia would have my undivided attention while I'm home. I'll have to wait until we get back from the doctor's. Hopefully Mia and Marlena will nap and I can check in with work.

  "I can't believe Dr. Cummings got me in with Dr. Varik so soon." Marlena says as she walks out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. “When I gave them the insurance information, the woman I spoke to said they have a three-month waiting period."

  "Then Selene better get here so we can be on time."

  "Thanks for coming with me," she says, wrapping her arms around me and leaning her head against my chest.

  "There's nowhere else I'd rather be. Except maybe on a sandy beach with you, or anywhere secluded enough for us to . . ."

  The bell rings, interrupting me. Marlena lets Selene in and gives her the rundown while I wait, letting my mind explore the thoughts that were so rudely interrupted.

  The drive to the office is strained, quiet. Neither of us say much. We just listen to music as if we both aren't sitting on pins and needles.

  I don't know what Marlena expects to happen at the appointment, but she's in pretty good spirits. Maybe it's just knowing she's that much closer to getting a definitive answer. It shouldn't matter so much, but the uncertainty, not having something to point to and blame for her symptoms makes Marlena feel weak. Maybe she needs to hear that there is something real that's wrong, something known that has a name, so she can gather up the strength to fight the way she needs to.

  I haven't said much about what she's going to have to face, I don't want to tell her I saw my grandfather suffer with this dreaded disease firsthand. All I remember of him is that he sat in his wheelchair and yelled constantly. My brother and I were too loud, too wild for him. And then he moved from his wheelchair to the hospital bed. And then even his lungs stopped working and he spent his last days alone and miserable, hooked up to life support.

  Is it so wrong of me to want better for my wife? While she's waiting, hoping to hear that it is MS, I'm hoping for anything but.

  "Have you heard from your mother?"

  "No. I can't believe she thought this would be a good time to take off with her boyfriend," I answer.

  "She's entitled to a vacation."

  "Yes, but we need her now. To make matters worse, I can't even tell her why we need her, because you don't want anyone to know."

  "Not yet. Not until we know for sure. I don't want to have to deal with all the questions I don't have answers to." She pauses, and I feel the tension building in the car. "Troy, if this is too much for you--"

  I reach for her hand. "I never said it's too much. We could just use the help with Mia. That's all." Marlena turns and looks out her window. "I'm here for better or worse. I mean that. It's just that my mother knows Mia's schedule. She knows what she likes to eat and when she's overtired. I don't want you to feel overwhelmed when we get home."

  "I always feel overwhelmed when I'm away from her because Mia gets clingy when I've been out. At least with Selene, she has Jaxson to keep her occupied."

  "Okay. Sorry I brought it up," I say, parking the car headfirst into a spot.

  "Troy, don't."

  "What? You're right."

  "You're pissed."

  "I'm fine," I say, shutting the engine.

  "No, you're not."

  "I am." I pull her close to me and meet her lips with my own. "If I wasn't, I am now. As long as I have you in my arms, nothing else matters."

  I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. I don't even have to look. I already know it's Jacqueline. She's never pulled this shit before. It's just a reminder of how fucked up my life is. Right now, nothing makes sense. Nothing but holding on tight to Marlena.

  *

  "Vampires don't drink as much blood as this guy is taking," I tease, watching the phlebotomist fill the eighth tube of blood. They're checking for all the things that have already been checked for, such as lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, Lyme disease, and Sjogren's disease. "Do they usually take this much?"

  "Yes."

  "How many times have you gone through this?"

  "This is the third batch of blood work this month."

  I reach for her free hand. How did I not know? "I'm so sorry."

  "It's fine."

  It's not fine. I'm glad I came because I had no idea things were as bad as they were. Even after she broke down and told me, I still want to deny it's as bad as it is. I didn't realize she completely loses feeling in her left hand, or that she was so dizzy she fell down a flight of steps when she last visited her parents, or that she falls asleep driving to the grocery store that's five minutes away. I can't believe she's had all this shit going on and didn't bother telling me. She hid it. She kept me in the fucking dark on purpose.

  I'm scared shitless, and I'm angry that she hasn't been honest. I think of what Cooper said about Marlena being worried my opinion of her would change. It all points back to one thing. I failed her. I fucking failed her big time.

  *

  It's no surprise that Dr. Varik is sending Marlena for a lumbar puncture. We expected it. What we didn't expect was the other set of tests she needs to have done. The woman in charge of the evoked potential testing has an opening in her schedule and can do the visual and auditory tests right now.

  I sit in the waiting room while Marlena is in the back getting tested. It gives me time to check my email and see what the hell has Jacqueline flipping out. I can't believe my eyes as I read through the forwarded email from Chuck, the StarFire CFO. The maintenance package is gone, and he thinks we duped him. The whole deal was based off the free maintenance. Our competitors came in with lower setup and licensing fees, but the agreement I wrote up, the one Jacqueline agreed to, gave them two years free maintenance, which had us skyrocketing past the competing companies.

  She picks up on the first ring. "Jacqueline, where the hell is the maintenance?"

  "It's nice to see you realize you have a job. At least for the time being."

  Great, she's on a power trip. Just what I need. "Chuck only agreed to give us their business because of the free maintenance. You knew that."

  "I realized it wasn't viable. We'd lose too much money."

  "We'd lose peanuts. Now instead of raking in two and a half million, which would have ended up costing a little more than a hundred thousand in professional services, we get nothing."

  "That's why it's important that you fly up to Boston tonight and smooth things over with Chuck."

  "What!? I can't fly up to Boston."

  "Great, then drive, but you should leave now so you can get there at a decent hour."

  "I'm not driving there either, Jacqueline. I'm not going to Boston tonight. I told you I need this week off."

  "You won Chuck over once, I know you can do it again. You need to do this, Troy."

  "Look, if it were any other time, I'd do it, but I can't now. I'm sorry, Jacqueline. What I can do is put the maintenance package back in and say it was an oversight."

  "You call Chuck and tell him I'm flying out in the morning to meet with him. Tell him it was an oversight and I'll do what I can to wine and dine the guy. But if we lose the account, it's on you."

  "That's bull. You're the one who made the changes."

  "Yes, but you're the one that sent the contract over. If you felt that strongly about it, you should've checked it over one last tim
e before hitting send. You should've brought it to my attention that you believed the maintenance package was that critical to the deal. Now call Chuck while I make arrangements."

  The line goes dead.

  Chapter 14

  Marlena

  I'm nervous. I know it's ridiculous. Lots of people have this procedure done, and they're fine, but I'm scared. I don't know if I'm afraid of the procedure itself or the results that it might bring. The blood tests come back negative, just the way they have the two times prior. But that doesn't surprise me. MS doesn't show up on blood tests.

  I thought I’d lose my mind in the two weeks I had to wait for it to be scheduled. Dr. Varik promised I’d been given the first available appointment the hospital had open. Considering how fast everything else got pushed through, I thought it was two weeks too long.

  The biggest concern with the lumbar puncture is headaches. People sometimes suffer from severe headaches after the fact. My migraines are debilitating as it is. If this is worse, I don't know what I'll do.

  "Hey beautiful." Troy comes up behind me and slips his arms around my waist while I finish rinsing the dishes and packing them in the dishwasher.

  "Hey yourself, handsome."

  "Are you almost finished cleaning up?"

  I nod.

  "Good."

  I shut the water as he pulls away. "I'm sorry I shot your plans to shit tonight. I just wasn't up for being around everyone."

  "It's fine. The only plans that matter to me start now. I just thought you might want to see Lexi and Selene and that it would help keep your mind occupied so you wouldn't stress over tomorrow."

  "I'm not stressing," I insist.

  "Liar."

  I smile, happy that he realizes I'm trying to cover it up.

  "But that's okay,” his voice is deep and sexy. “I have another way to keep you happy and relaxed."

  "Oh yeah,” I challenge. “What's that?"

  "You just get Mia to sleep and let me take care of everything else."

  "Promises, promises."

  *

  "Another bath?" I say when I see candlelight spilling out of the bathroom.

  "Turns out," he says, skimming his fingers over my skin as he pulls my pants down. "I happen to like baths. As long as they're with you."

  "Well, it turns out, my all-time favorite bath is the one I took with you."

  "Really?" he asks as he lifts my shirt off over my head. "That puts the pressure on, but I'll have to work extra hard to make sure this one is even better."

  I reach for his shirt, but he removes my hands. "You go get in and make sure you don't take your eyes off me. Got it?"

  Before I can answer, his mouth is on mine and his hands are roaming over my body. I do as I'm told and climb into the hot, bubble-filled tub. He thought this out and planned ahead, because the bubbles have a nice scent to them. This isn't from Mia's bubble collection.

  A layer of tension melts away as I settle myself into the hot soapy liquid. Troy approaches the tub and bends down so we're face to face.

  "Aren't you joining me?"

  "Wouldn't miss it for the world. I just wanted to say if you feel the need to get things started before I get in, I won't mind." He winks, stands back up, and moves a few feet from the tub over to the counter. I keep my eyes on Troy, wondering what he could possibly be up to.

  Troy doesn't say a word as he fidgets with his phone and music starts playing. Once the small room is filled with music, Troy turns around to face me again. Swaying his hips from side to side, he unbuckles his belt and continues moving to the music as he pulls it through the loops on his pants, then takes a step toward me. Bending down again, the belt comes around my neck and pulls slightly, encouraging me to meet his waiting lips.

  After the long, hungry kiss, Troy tosses the belt to the side and reaches for the bottom of his shirt. He plays along with the music, lifting one corner, then pulling it down, teasing me with a peek of his sculpted stomach before lifting the other corner. His lower body moves in a more suggestive manner as he pulls the shirt overhead and tosses it to the floor.

  I watch, awed, as his hands roam over his chest, pressing against his pecs and nipples, down the line of hair running from his navel that disappears into his pants. His eyes are closed. The fingers on one hand sneak below the waistband of his jeans, and I'm watching open-mouthed, with my heart racing in anticipation of what he's going to do next.

  The time and effort my husband put into planning this for me is as much of a turn on as what he's doing. I feel heat and pressure building between my legs, and now I understand his earlier comment about getting started without him. My own hands start moving over my inner thighs.

  His pants and boxers fall around his ankles. He kicks them off to join the rest of our clothes and starts acknowledging the massive bulge between his legs. He grips his cock and moving his hand up and down, strokes himself, while the other hand moves over his chest, up his neck, and back down. His fiery stare is locked on mine.

  "I can't see what your hands are doing under those bubbles," he says, his voice deep and husky.

  Watching him touch himself encourages me to do the same. One hand is between my legs, the other on my breast beneath the soapy water. I gasp as my fingers press inside me. It just teases me further, and it isn't what I want. It isn't enough.

  Troy is standing beside the tub, completely naked. I give in to the urge to take him in my mouth and wrap my lips around him. His hands tangle in my hair as I lean over the side of the tub on my knees, with his hips thrusting back and forth.

  "Ready for me?"

  I don't answer. Instead I cup his balls and massage.

  "Fuck, I can't take any more." Troy pulls away and climbs in the tub with me.

  *

  "I take back what I said earlier, this is the best bath of my life."

  "That's because you already came three times," he teases, leaning forward to kiss my neck.

  "Maybe. But I think you had a little bit of fun, too."

  "You don't hear me complaining, do you?" he asks, finishing up the massage of my arm in the warm water and moving down to my hand.

  "Mmm," I moan, leaning against him, feeling like a wet noodle. "That feels so good." I close my eyes, enjoying the extra special attention Troy is lathering on me.

  "That's the point. To make you feel good, calm, and relaxed."

  "Mission accomplished. I don't think I've ever been this relaxed."

  "Good. Then let's get you into bed."

  "You really are an animal tonight."

  "I'm guessing you won't be in the mood tomorrow, and I want you to remember this. I don't ever want to hear that you think I want to have sex with you because you're convenient ever again. I want you because you're beautiful and sexy, and you are the biggest turn I've ever come across."

  Toweling off after our bath, I stare at my husband. I feel giddy looking at him. Birds, butterflies, and Pegasus fly, tumble, and soar around in my stomach. I’m so in love with him, I don’t want to lose this feeling, but I can’t pretend tomorrow isn’t happening. It’s tomorrow that has me worried, and every day after.

  "I'm scared," I admit, knowing he’ll find a way to make it better.

  "I know. I am too. But I'm right here with you through this, no matter what."

  I shake my head. "I'm scared if it is MS, you might not look at me like this anymore."

  He pulls me against him and holds me. We're silent as I listen to his heartbeat while my head rests against his bare chest.

  "I wish I could find some way to convince you, but the only thing I can give you is my word. You have nothing to worry about. I'll always want you just as much as I do right now. As my attraction to you has only grown over the years, I can only guess I'll want you even more."

  Chapter 15

  Troy

  I walk beside the gurney as Marlena is being moved to the room to have the procedure done.

  "This is where we part ways," Marlena's transporter says.

/>   "Alright, beautiful. It's time to go. Now don't go in there telling the doctors how to do their job. They've been at this a while." I look at the nurse steering the gurney. "How long has the doctor been doing this?"

  "Hmm. I believe this is his first one."

  Marlena's eyes widen. Fear is plastered on her face.

  "It's a joke, baby. She's just teasing you," I give her hand a squeeze and bend down to kiss her forehead. "Seriously. Just stay calm. It's going to be okay."

  "Go to the family waiting area, and I'll come get you when she's on her way back."

  I nod and do as I'm told, realizing I have no real choice or say in the matter. I'd much rather stay with Marlena and hold her hand or crack jokes. Whatever promises to keep her calm. I hate the antiseptic smell of the hospital. It should assure me that everything around me is clean and sterile. Instead I think of all the germs hiding in the nooks and crannies, waiting to latch on to some unsuspecting sucker.

  I'm dazed, not really paying attention to what I'm doing. When I enter the waiting area, other people are huddled in there, but I don't pay any attention to them. I take a seat and pull out my phone, not really sure why. I check the time, then new messages. Nothing. That's good. My brother is coming home today and asked me to pick him up at the airport. There was no way I was letting Marlena do this alone, so I asked Noah if he could get him. Everything must have gone well or else Jagger would be calling and cursing me out.

  I lean my head back and close my eyes, praying that everything is going to be okay. The further this goes on and the more research I do, I have to agree with Marlena. It's almost positively MS. This test is just a formality. I'm scared shitless. I don't know what the long-term implications are. And Mia, she's so young. She needs her mother, I'm just not sure at this rate if her mother can handle being home alone with her all day every day.

  "It's going to be okay." Someone takes the seat next to me and pats my knee. His voice sounds just like . . .

  "Cooper? What are you doing here? I thought you were out in California."

  "I am. Was. I took the red eye so I could be here. I thought you might like the company. I figure the waiting will get your mind going in all sorts of crazy directions."