by C. A. Harms
I’d apparently spent the night with Natalie and for the life of me I couldn’t remember a moment past our dance. Those memories I would’ve loved to have floating around in my head.
I lay there for a few minutes watching her sleep, thinking that life would be easier if I could let myself feel something for someone. If I could just let someone in again, maybe life wouldn’t be such a lonely place.
Instead, I climbed slowly out of the bed in search for my pants, being as quiet as possible. Once I was completely dressed, I slipped from the room and made my way to the kitchen, where I found Keith having his morning coffee.
“Hey, do you think you could give me a ride to get my car?” I asked.
One look at his face told me he knew what I had done and I instantly felt guilty.
Chapter One
Natalie
6 Weeks Later
I pulled up to Kole and Lexi’s a little before 8:00 in the morning. But before I could even knock, the front door flew open and there stood Kole. The look on his face made me instantly aware that it was smart to keep my mouth shut.
He looked pissed and a pissed Kole could be explosive.
He attempted a smile and offered a tense “Hey” before stepping past me to leave. I closed the door behind me and walked in the direction of the squealing little girl in the highchair.
“What happened to Kole?” I asked Lexi. “Did you deny him morning nookie or what? He looked pissed off.”
Lexi rolled her eyes and sat down at the bar with a look of torment. “Kate called this morning and begged him for help.” I was instantly intrigued. “Apparently, Adam got fired from the gym where he works. Come to find out, the walking dick is a personal trainer and nutritionist.”
That information surprised me because that night we were together we didn’t really share those kinds of details.
I hid my fidgeting hands while she continued.
“He got caught screwing the owner’s fiancée in the showers. Now for the last four weeks he’s been living with my dad and Kate.” I couldn’t imagine how that was going considering Keith could barely tolerate Adam on a good day. “It seems he can’t get hired anywhere near there. His ex-boss has made sure to share Adam’s indiscretions with anyone who’ll listen, making it virtually impossible for him to find employment. Once again, Adam and his floating dick got him in trouble.”
I stood to get a wet rag to clean Hanna up because I honestly just needed something to busy my shaking hands. “Okay, so what does any of this have anything to do with Kole?”
“They begged Kole to hire him.” She sounded as agitated as Kole looked when he left.
I stumbled over the rug and gripped the countertop to steady myself. “Is he going to?” I asked.
“Can you believe he agreed to give him a chance?” she said, sounding surprised. “It wasn’t easy, but my dad loves Kole and assured him things would work out. I think my dad’s about to kill Adam and needs him out as quickly as possible.”
“When does he start?” My chest ached at the thought of Adam being here in North Carolina.
“Um, Monday I think.” She replied as she got up from the bar stool and moved around the kitchen. “They’re driving up tomorrow so Adam can look for an apartment.”
No one knew what happened between Adam and me. When I woke up alone and naked I realized it was a complete, unalterable mistake. I mean, honestly, what in the hell was I thinking? Adam was after one thing and after six shots, I handed it over easily.
I was so ashamed of my actions and I had no intentions of telling anyone, ever. Well, that was my original plan until yesterday morning when I finally broke down and took the pregnancy test I bought over a week ago.
Now here I am pregnant by a guy that probably doesn’t even remember having sex with me. I haven’t found a way to tell anyone yet. I still wasn’t sure what the hell I was going to do.
***
“Okay, I should be back about one. I need to stop for milk on the way home. Is that okay? Earth to Nat…Come in Nat.”
“What? Oh yeah, sorry, that’s fine.” I was so lost in thought that I had not acknowledged Lexi and her excessive rambling.
Lexi placed her hand on my shoulder. “Natalie, are you sure you’re okay, hun? You seem off today.”
“Yes,” I forced a smile. I’m good, just didn’t sleep the greatest last night.”
“We need a spa day.” Her eyes gleamed with anticipation. Maybe you, me, and Meg can plan a girls’ day soon.”
“Yeah, that sounds great.” I agreed. Yet on the inside I was so bound in knots I was honestly starting to feel sick from the tension.
The moment Lexi backed out of the driveway I let the tears fall. How the hell did I get myself into this mess? Oh yeah, right, I let myself think I deserved a night of meaningless sex. Well, meaningless for the guy maybe. It was true I couldn’t do meaningless, because no matter what it always means something. Now I was carrying the walking boner’s baby.
***
Over the next twenty-four hours, I made myself so nervous that I was able to fake the flu. I couldn’t hold anything down, which meant everyone kept their distance from me for fear of catching it. I wallowed in my own self-pity and cried until my eyes were so swollen I looked like a monkey.
By Saturday, I finally convinced myself I needed some air. I slipped on a loose pair of shorts and an old ratty tank that had seen better days. I threw my hair into a high ponytail and slipped on my walking shoes, intended to take a long soothing walk.
I lived just off campus in a large apartment complex I loved. It was perfectly located near all the places I needed and the other residents were always so respectful and polite.
I wasn’t sure just how long I’d been gone, when I decided it was time to turn back. As I rounded the corner toward my apartment, I heard someone yell my name.
“Natalie.”
When I spun around I was surprised to find Keith, Lexi’s dad, waving from only a few feet away. I walked in the direction of his truck before stopping dead in my tracks. Adam stepped out of the apartment just behind Keith, shirtless and sweaty.
My stomach hit the ground, or at least that is what it felt like when reality settled in. The walking boner was moving in two doors down from me.
I swear I had the worst possible luck.
“Hey it’s you,” Adam said, making me feel only two feet tall.
I made my best attempt to grin. “Yeah…It’s me.”
“Um…you’re…uh.” He appeared to be struggling. I felt my heart race and my chest tighten.
“Natalie, my name is Natalie.” I tried to fight the tears that were mixed with a strong sense of irritation.
“Yeah, Natalie, that’s right.” Wow, talk about flattering.
I turned back to Keith, giving him a quick hug to diffuse my impending breakdown. I could almost feel myself falling apart at the seams. “I better go. I need to grab a shower before I go to work. It was good seeing you, Keith.”
He gave me a loving smile and a slight nod. “You, too, Nat. Maybe I’ll see you before I leave tomorrow.”
I found myself fighting the urge to look at Adam. I could sense him watching me. “I have to work until close tonight and then tomorrow I have plans in the morning. Are you leaving early?”
“Yeah, my flight’s at noon. I drove here with Adam because he has two vehicles, but I’m flying back. Maybe next time, then?” Two vehicles, must be nice. I had one and it rarely ran without some type of hitch. And when it did run, it sounded more like a lawnmower than a car.
Keith and I shared one more hug before we said a final goodbye. I pretty much ran back home to hide the tears that were now running down my cheeks. The jackass didn’t even remember my name.
As if I hadn’t already felt like a complete idiot for what I allowed to happen between us, there was no way to stop it now. I was a walking cliché, knocked up by a guy who looked at me as just another girl he nailed.
Real smart, Natalie!
Wa
y to go!
Great choice in picking the best father for your child.
I spent the next hour beating myself up over the mess I had gotten myself into. I was a junior in college working in a bar and now I was pregnant.
My father was going to kill me, not to mention my Grams. My mother, I’m sure, was silently cursing me from her cloud in heaven, and I felt as if I was once again disappointing her.
After I forced myself to get ready, I left for work. I spent the next six hours waiting tables and fighting off nasty comments from drunks at the pub. Nothing like a Saturday night at the sports bar, a perfect mixture of college pricks and old guys who thought they still had it. I swore the next guy that slapped my ass or attempted to look down my shirt was getting punched in the face.
Maybe I should’ve just kept my not so happy ass at home.
Chapter Two
Adam
I really blew it with Natalie yesterday. Fuck, I couldn’t even remember her name. But I was just so shocked to find her standing outside my apartment, my mind sort of took a backseat to my dick. It didn’t mean I hadn’t thought about her. In fact, I couldn’t stop thinking about her.
I remembered the way she smelled, and the way she looked up at me through those long dark lashes of hers. I just wish I remembered more of that night when we got back to Kate’s.
I’ve spent most of my day unpacking and attempting to settle into my new life. I needed to be more careful of who I chose to sleep with. I had no idea Marley was my boss’s fiancée. Hell, she didn’t tell me. Catching us in the showers with her on her knees probably wasn’t the best way for me to keep my job.
Marley held Brett, my ex-boss, off long enough for me to slip out the back. After that, everything went to shit.
His girl was the one who initiated the entire thing and hell who am I to stop a girl from getting the thing she wants. She practically begged me, so I thought what the hell.
Her asshole fiancé didn’t have to turn everyone against me. The moment I applied for a job and they saw my name I was black balled. Who knew the guy either was related to half the city or he financed the other half.
I was fucked, and I found out fast that I wasn’t gonna make it in Missouri any longer.
Working for Kole was a last resort.
Yeah, I’d be once again doing what I loved, but I’d have to deal with his cocky ass in the process. Kole being my boss just made this situation ten times worse. I knew if I fucked up once, I was gone. I was already on the top of his shit list for hitting on Lexi last year.
I looked down when my phone started ringing. I didn’t recognize the number but I already knew it would be some other form of shit I didn’t want to deal with.
“Hello?” I said biting the bullet and just facing my demons head on.
“Adam?” a soft female voice questioned.
“Yeah,” I replied. “Who’s this?”
“Marley,” she said in return and I hung my head regretting my decision to answer. “Where are you?”
“Well, your fucking asshole of a fiancé forced me outta town,” I told her. “What are you calling me for, anyway?”
“I wanted to see you.” Was she for real?
I laughed. “You’re outta luck babe. I moved about nine hours away.”
“What?” she whispered, suddenly sounding disappointed.
“Marley, you’re engaged. You never told me that. We had a few good times but that’s it. It was fun while it lasted, but now it’s over.” I let out a calming breath as the knot formed in my stomach. “It never should have happened in the first place and you know that.”
I hung up without saying goodbye and let my head fall back onto the couch. Just another mistake to add to my long list of screw ups.
You would think by now I’d have my shit together.
I’d settled for pizza before I jumped in the shower. I’d spent the majority of my day unpacking and at this point I was dragging ass and desperately wanting my bed.
I only sat down on the couch for a moment before being woken by alight knock on my door.
After noticing it was a little after 1:00 in the morning, I walked toward the door as quietly as possible to peek through the blind. I didn’t know anyone here in town so I hadn’t expected any company at least not in the middle of the night.
Seeing Natalie standing on the other side had my mind racing with ideas. So I wasted no time as I slid the lock and pulled the door open.
“Hey, babe, I think late night bootie calls are…” I stopped when she looked up at me. Her eyes we red as if she’d been crying and she looked exhausted.
“Are you okay?” I asked as I stepped toward her.
She stood on my front step with a blank stare and I was about to pull her inside when she spoke.
“Did you honestly not even know my name?” She sounded so sad.
I shook my head lightly, “I knew it; I just couldn’t remember in that moment. I’m sorry.”
She hung her head. “That’s great, just great,” she began mumbling. “You’re such an idiot.” She turned, rambling to herself and began walking in the direction I assumed was her apartment.
“Hey, Natalie…wait,” I called out.
“Just forget it, Adam. It meant nothing then and it means nothing now. Really, just forget I stopped by.” She waved me off.
And maybe I shouldn’t have, but I let her walk away.
I stood out on the sidewalk until I saw her disappear into her apartment and never once did she turn around to look back. I felt like the biggest asshole.
But instead of fighting it, instead of chasing her down and asking what in the hell all of that was about, I went back inside and went to bed instead.
I had to be at the gym at 6:00 in the morning and there was no way I was gonna give Kole the satisfaction of being late.
***
Dread filled my stomach as I walked through the doors of Kole’s Gym at 5:56. When I saw him standing at the front desk with Radley, who I recognized immediately, I had to play nice.
I had no other choice.
“Morning,” I offered with a nod.
Radley just nodded his head in return but never actually spoke.
“Your first client will be here at six fifteen. Mr. Harper likes to work out before he goes into the office.” Kole didn’t even offer a nod, he just began rambling off my schedule. “Three times a week you’ll work weights with him. He is particular and can be a dick sometimes, but you two seem like kindred spirits, so it’ll be like a match made in hell.” Radley chuckled but I chose to ignore the sarcasm in Kole’s voice and the humor written all over Radley’s face.
Kole continued. “He’s been married four times and is working on number five. Maybe you two can share some stories, since the two of you think woman are so dispensable.”
I knew Kole hated me, and honestly, the guy had every right to. I did try to hook up with his girl a few different times. If the shoe was on the other foot, I’m sure I would have beat his ass. So trying to smooth things over was pointless.
“I got it,” I said with little humor. “Dick, womanizer, we should get along great.” Kole looked up and I held his gaze without looking away.
“Come find me after you finish up with him and we’ll go over your remaining schedule.”
With that, he turned and walked away, leaving me alone with Radley.
“You do know you caused that, right?” He pointed in the direction Kole had walked.
“Oh what, you mean the fact that the guy would love to use me for target practice? Yeah, I got it. He wants me to fuck up so he can kick me out. I asked for the attitude from him, I know that. I’m not here to make friends; just here to work,” I assured him.
Life would be easier if I got along with Radley and Kole, but I sure as hell wasn’t gonna suck anyone’s ass.
Chapter Three
Natalie
I swore, the week was moving in slow motion, just to torture me. I spent most of my classes fighting against the
nausea and the rest on the verge of tears. I was a walking disaster and the worst part was I had no one to blame but myself.
I let the overwhelming feeling control me last night when I broke down and called my dad to share the news. I needed to tell someone and after mom died, I wasn’t left with many choices. Being an only child sucked at times like this. What I wouldn’t give to have a sibling to confide in.
I was too ashamed to tell Lexi, because of all people to have a one night stand with I had to choose Adam. Megan was spending all her spare time planning her wedding so the last thing she needed was my sob story.
As expected, my father lectured me over and over for about an hour. Afterwards he wanted to know about the father and I lied, telling him that my baby’s daddy was fully on board. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him that the guy was an asshole and probably had the “Brady Bunch” running around somewhere out in the world.
Lying only got me into more of a mess because now my father wanted to meet my boyfriend. The whole thing just made my weak stomach even weaker.
I found myself looking forward to the fact that I had to work tonight. I could use a little distraction. When my professor from my last class dismissed us, I gathered my things carefully and exited the classroom.
My phone rang in my bag as I walked down the front steps of the exited the building.
As the name flashed across the screen, I suddenly felt as if I chose to answer the call she would somehow know exactly what was going on in my mind.
But I had avoided her enough already.
“Hey Lex, what’s up?” I faked my enthusiasm.
“Well let me think about that,” Lexi said sarcastically. “Maybe the fact that one of my best friends has been avoiding me and it has me worried sick. Are you okay, Nat?”
I laughed in an attempt to ease her mind. “Yeah brat, I’m fine. It’s been a shitty week with papers and presentations, mixed in with work. I’m just glad it’s over and the weekend is here.”
