Spiraling

by H. Karhoff

  “James, why don’t you turn that off?” Mom asked as she walked in from the kitchen and sat on the arm of his chair.

  “The weather’s almost over,” he answered, waiting until the weatherman finished his report before hitting the power button on the remote. “Sorry, Honey, I just wanted to catch the five-day forecast.”

  “It’s okay.” Mom smiled.

  Their atypical civility worried me. For months they hadn’t been able to be in the same room together without fighting. Now, they were talking sweetly to each other and using pet names. When they both turned to look at Chris and me, my stomach twisted into a knot. Terrible news was going to spew out of their mouths. I could feel it.

  “Kids, there’s something your father and I would—”

  “He’s not our father,” Chris said under his breath.

  “All right.” Mom inhaled and started again. “There’s something James and I would like to tell you.” A huge smile stretched across her face. “We’re pregnant.”

  There it was. The perfect ending to a terrible day. I knew my mom expected me to be as happy as she was, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t even pretend that I was. After the twins were born I had gone from being the center of my mother’s world to a footnote. I felt more like the help than a member of the family. Another baby wasn’t going to make things any better.

  “That it?” Chris asked.

  “Yes.” Mom nodded.

  “Great.” He got up and walked toward the door. “I’m going to Becky’s.”

  “Don’t you want to talk?” Mom asked.

  “No.” Chris shook his head. “What’s there to talk about? You guys are having another kid. That’s great. I don’t really care.”

  I looked at him. How could he not care? Didn’t he understand that we were about to be figuratively orphaned? Was he just going to fade into obscurity without a fight?

  “Hold on there.” James rose from his chair. “You’d better check your attitude, young man. This baby is going to be part of this family and if you want to remain a part of it, you’d better start acting like it.”

  “I haven’t been a part of this family for a while,” Chris retorted. He grabbed his letter jacket and headed out the door before anything more could be said.

  Four

  “Oh, my God, Tori!” Kennedy squealed. “You will never believe what happened.”

  “What?” I sighed. It hadn’t been the best morning and I was sure whatever had gotten her so excited didn’t matter.

  “Jason called me,” she said. “I gave him my number last week, but I didn’t expect him to actually call.”

  “What’d he say?”

  “He wanted to make sure we were going to Camber Flotsam’s party this weekend. That was the first I heard of it, but I figured we were going to go, so I told him we were. I mean, if Chad goes, you’re going to go, right?”

  “Probably. I don’t know.”

  The thought of another party didn’t exactly fill me with glee. High school parties weren’t as much fun as I’d thought they’d be. They were just a bunch of people I didn’t like getting drunk and acting like idiots. Chad would drag me around for awhile, making sure everyone saw us together. Then he’d go off with his friends and I’d pretend to have a great time wandering around by myself. As the day got into full swing and more people wanted to talk about their weekends, I found myself dreading Saturday more and more.

  Lunch was like every other day. Chad spent the time ignoring me to talk to his friends. As usual, they planned out everything we were going to do that weekend without consulting me. When I objected, Chad got annoyed and grumbled at me to stop complaining.

  I turned to Kennedy for assistance, but she couldn’t have cared less. Unlike me, high school agreed with her. She fit in well with our new group of friends and was too involved in making plans with them to be bothered. After a few failed attempts at getting her attention, I gave up and looked across the table at Joy.

  “What are you doing this weekend?” I asked.

  “Going to a concert with my youth group,” she answered.

  “What concert?”

  “His Grace is going to be in Ashton,” she said.

  “Never heard of them.”

  “They’re a Christian band.”

  “Are they any good?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded. “You’re welcome to come if you want. Jenny has some family thing so we have an extra ticket.”

  “That’s okay.” I shook my head.

  Glancing behind her, I spotted Devon, the guy I’d met the week before. I hadn’t talked to him since then, but I’d seen him a few other times in the halls. He was always with one of the guys from the out-crowd, a group of social outcasts most people avoided. Some of them were friends with my brother, but most I only knew by reputation.

  “Tori, are you okay?” Joy nudged me.

  “Yeah, why?” I answered, not taking my eyes off the gorgeous boy.

  “You’re kind of staring off into space.”

  I didn’t answer her. I was busy fantasizing about what Devon looked like without his shirt. Unlike a lot of teenage boys still trying to grow into their bodies, he wasn’t lanky and awkward. From what I could see, he was well-built. His arms were muscular and I imagined his chest looked like it had been carved from stone. My heart beat faster as I thought about how it would feel to be close to him.

  “Hello. Earth to Tori.” Joy waved her hand in front of my face. “Did you hear me? Lunch is over. Everybody’s leaving.”

  “Uh-huh,” I said absentmindedly. “Sure.”

  “What are you looking at?” She turned around.

  When I realized that I was about to get caught, I dropped my eyes. “Lunch is over? We should probably get going then.” I got up and grabbed my tray, noticing that Joy and I were the only ones left at the table. “We don’t want to be late for—”

  “Really, Tori?” She scowled at me.

  “What?”

  “You know what. I know what you were looking at. Or should I say who?”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  She gathered her stuff and we both walked toward the trash cans. As we emptied our trash and put our trays up, I scanned the cafeteria, but I didn’t see Devon.

  “He went out the other doors,” Joy said.

  I looked at her. “Huh?”

  “That guy you’re looking for. He already left.”

  “I wasn’t looking for a guy. I was just looking around.”

  “Sure, you were,” she said. “You know, you should stay away from that guy.”

  “What guy?”

  “You know what guy. The one you keep ogling. He’s kind of bad news. Angie Sherwood heard some of the stoner girls talking. They said he’s on probation for stealing a car.”

  I shook my head. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

  “I don’t know if it is or not, but I wouldn’t want to be friends with someone like that.”

  “He seems like a really nice guy.”

  “Pastor Thomas says the devil walks the Earth in Armani and speaks the most beautiful poetry you’ve ever heard,” she said.

  “You’re being a bit over-dramatic, Joy.” I chuckled.

  “Maybe, but I still wouldn’t be friends with him.”

  “Whatever happened to ‘Love thy neighbor as thyself’ or however it goes? You were just going on about it the other day.”

  “You should love your neighbor, but that doesn’t mean you have to hang out with them,” she said. “The Bible also says we should stay away from bad influences. ‘Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.’ Proverbs thirteen, twenty.”

  “All right, Joy.” I turned away and rolled my eyes. I hated Joy’s Bible lectures.

  We went to our lockers. She didn’t want to be late for fifth hour, so she got her books and headed off while I rearranged my books. I wasn’t looking forward to biology. Mr. Martin had threatened to give me detention if I di
dn’t turn in my overdue homework and I hadn’t gotten any of it done.

  “Hey,” Devon said as he walked past me to the locker on the other side of Kennedy’s. “Cleaning day?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “I’m just dawdling.”

  “Don’t like your next class?” He opened his locker door.

  “Not really. I hate biology.”

  “It’s not so bad. I liked it so much I took it twice.”

  “You’re joking, right?”

  “Yeah.” He chuckled. “Biology sucks.”

  “I should have just taken physical science with Kenn. Then I might actually have a chance of passing.”

  He pulled an American History book out of his locker and shut the door. Then he leaned against it. “Is Ken the guy you’re always with?”

  “No.” I laughed, amused that he thought Kennedy was a guy. “She’s my best friend. Her name’s Kennedy. I just always call her Kenn.”

  “Oh. So, who’s the guy?”

  “My boyfriend. Chad.” I sighed.

  “Sore subject?”

  I shook my head. “No. Just not one I want to talk about right now.”

  “That’s fine with me,” he said.

  I took a deep breath and closed my locker. “Well, I guess I should get to class.”

  “Yeah, I probably should, too.”

  We walked to the end of the hall and parted ways. When I got to biology, I hid toward the back of the room, hoping Mr. Martin would forget about my missing homework. I thought I’d succeeded when he didn’t ask for it during class, but as soon as the bell rang, he called me up to his desk. All the excuses I came up with fell on deaf ears as he wrote out a detention slip. I took it reluctantly and sulked into the hall.

  “So, I got detention.” I told Kennedy when I got to my locker.

  “That sucks,” she said.

  “You’re telling me. My mom is going to flip out.”

  “So, do you know what you’re going to wear on Saturday?”

  “No idea. I don’t even know if my mom will let me go.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I got detention.” I showed her the detention slip again.

  “Just don’t tell her,” she said.

  “That’s going to be pretty hard considering that she has to sign the detention slip.”

  “I didn’t know that. Maybe she’ll let you go anyway.”

  “I’m not getting my hopes up.” I sighed.

  “It’s going to totally suck if I have to go to this party without you.”

  “Jason will be there, won’t he?”

  “Yeah, but still,” she said. “It’s not like we’re going out or anything. I don’t even know if he likes me. It’s like he acts like he does, but he hasn’t asked me out so I don’t know if we’re just friends or…”

  Devon walked up to his locker while she whined about Jason for the hundredth time that week. I tuned her out, watching as Devon opened his locker door and rummaged through the pockets of a black leather jacket. He pulled out a pack of cinnamon-flavored gum and stuck a few pieces in his mouth. Then he dropped the rest of the pack into the large back pocket of his wide-leg jeans. Kennedy was still grumbling when he glanced over at me. I quickly turned back to her, pretending I’d been involved in what she was saying the entire time.

  “Anyway, if your mom doesn’t totally freak out on you maybe we can go to the mall tomorrow night.” Kennedy concluded. “Becky doesn’t have practice, so she might be able to drive us.”

  “I’ll have to see,” I said, knowing my mom would most likely say no. Even if I hadn’t gotten detention, she rarely let me go anywhere on school nights.

  “Ok.”

  She smiled at me. Then she shut her locker and left for class. As soon as she’d gone, I put my biology book away and made sure I tucked the detention slip into my backpack so that I didn’t lose it. If I didn’t return it signed the next day, I’d get another two days.

  “How was biology?” Devon asked as I closed my locker.

  “Pretty sucky,” I answered. “What about… Um, was it history?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded. “It wasn’t too bad. Caught up on some sleep.”

  The playful grin on his face made it hard to tell whether or not he’d actually slept through class. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he had. I could picture him leaning back in his chair, kicking his black combat boots up on a desk, and sleeping through a boring lecture. The image made me chuckle.

  “Where you headed now?” he asked.

  “Keyboarding,” I answered.

  “Sounds like fun.”

  “Oh, yeah,” I replied sarcastically. “Tons and tons. Where are you off to?”

  “English.”

  “Don’t you need your book?”

  “Got it.” He reached into the large back pocket of his jeans and retrieved a tattered paperback copy of Moby Dick as the tardy bell echoed through the halls.

  “Dang it.” I scrunched my face. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

  “Looking forward to it.” He smiled.

  Turning around, I rushed to class. Miss Devereaux frowned at me as I scurried past her to take my seat in the computer lab. She didn’t immediately say anything about my tardiness, so I was hopeful that I’d skated by as I opened the typing program we used to complete our assignments. Halfway through class, however, she set my second detention slip of the day on the table beside my keyboard. If I’d had any hope at all of my mom forgiving me for the first infraction, it was gone. There was no way she’d overlook two detentions in one day, especially after I’d just gotten a less than spectacular report card.

  Five

  I kept my head down as I walked through the open door into the small classroom used for detention. The back was reserved for repeat offenders, so I sat in one of the front seats and put my bag on the floor. I could hear the girls behind me cracking jokes at my expense, but I kept my eyes forward. The day before I’d made the mistake of eavesdropping on their conversation after I’d heard Devon’s name. When one of them spotted me, she told me to mind my own business and not-so-politely informed me of the unofficial seating chart.

  As I leaned over to get my algebra book out of my bag, I saw the desk next to me move. My first thought was that one of the girls had decided taunting me wasn’t enough. I was terrified. They weren’t big girls, but they were a lot tougher than I’d ever dreamed of being. I knew I wouldn’t fare well in a fight against any one of them.

  Cautiously looking up, I was relieved to see the chair-mover wasn’t one of the girls. It was Devon. He sat down and flashed a smile.

  “Hey,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

  “I got detention for being late yesterday,” I replied.

  “Sorry about that.”

  “It wasn’t your fault. I could have just gone to class instead of talking to you.”

  “Or ditched it altogether.”

  “Is that what you did?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Yeah. Looks like that worked out really well for you.” I laughed, gesturing to the room we were in.

  He raised his left eyebrow and smirked. “I blew off a test and I get to spend forty-five minutes with you. Seems like it worked out pretty well to me.”

  I bit the side of my lower lip and blushed.

  “You do that a lot, don’t you?” he asked.

  I released my lip. “Yeah. Sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. It’s cute.”

  My heart turned somersaults. Oh, my God! He thinks I’m cute!

  From the way Chad treated me, I’d started to think I wasn’t pretty or cute or anything boys liked. I wasn’t tall or super-thin like Camber Flotsam or Miranda Schutt, the two girls all the guys agreed were sexy. I didn’t even have their perfect hair. Instead, I was short, still had what my mom called ‘baby fat’ around my midsection, and my hair did whatever it pleased most of the time. But Devon wasn’t talking to Camber or Miranda and he hadn’t even acknowledged the
stoner girls in the back; he purposefully sat next to me even though there were at least a dozen other empty chairs in the room. My ego got a huge boost.

  I leaned over, resting my elbow on the side of my desk. “Do you mind if I ask you something?”

  “Sure.” He nodded. “What do you want to know?”

  “My cousin, Joy, said something the other day and I was just wondering if it was true.”

  “Ok.”

  “Well…” I forced a nervous smile. The idea of asking the question was much easier than actually asking it. “It’s just… Well, she said she heard that…that you’re on probation for stealing a car or something. I told her it was probably just a stupid rumor, but you know how people are. She didn’t believe me. So, anyway, I thought I’d ask you. Are you on probation?”

  “Yeah.” He nodded.

  Not the answer I expected. “Seriously?”

  “Uh-huh. I got busted a little over a month ago for possession.”

  I shifted my weight in my desk. His confession made me uncomfortable, but I didn’t want to look like a total loser, so I pretended that it didn’t bother me. “That’s cool.”

  “No, it’s not.” He laughed. “It sucks ass.”

  “Hey!” Mr. Milton shouted from the desk at the front of the room. “Watch the language, Sharpe, or you’ll be seeing me again tomorrow.”

  “Yes, sir,” Devon said with a mischievous grin.

  I covered my mouth to stifle a giggle, but Mr. Milton heard me anyway. He shot me a warning glare and I looked down at my desk, pretending to read the algebra book in front of me. As soon as he looked away, I turned back to Devon.

  “Your last name is Sharpe?” I asked.

  He nodded.

  “Devon Sharpe.” I contemplated how it sounded. “What’s your middle name?”

  “Uh-uh.” He shook his head and smiled.

  “Please.” I bat my blue-green eyes at him. “I’ll tell you mine.”

  He looked at me, squinting slightly before he leaned across the aisle. His breath on my neck was warm and smelled like cinnamon. Oh, my god! Oh, my god! Oh, my god! I struggled to keep my composure. My heartbeat thundered in my ears and I wondered if he could hear it, too.