Goodnight, Elsie

by Tony Apperley

  Frank took the card gratefully and thanked Irene, then took Elsie out to the car. Elsie was upset, and he just wanted to get her home. He felt her illness may have progressed slightly without him noticing, this wasn’t good. If she wasn’t able to relate to strangers who could then become possible friends or relax in an environment she was unfamiliar with, then things must have moved on without him noticing. The painting of an erupting volcano had upset her.

  The drive home was quiet as she didn’t say anything; she didn’t even answer his questions when he asked what was wrong. She had shut herself down again. On the way to their home, he took a detour. He drove toward the retirement village not too far away that had a medical team permanently on duty where the elderly residents felt safe. The village was on the same grounds as a rest home which was run by the same firm that maintained the village. He did a slow drive past the entrance but didn’t turn in. He just wanted Elsie to get a view of it; it was another possible option for their future. Elsie would be understood there as the staff was all trained to deal with such things as Alzheimer’s and other age-related disorders. It was just a maybe for now, he wasn’t keen on moving there, but he wanted to understand his options clearly before making a choice and it was all for Elsie’s benefit. But if she couldn’t relate to either strangers or new places, it would perhaps be a bad choice. At home she was comfortable with her surroundings, so could relax. But Frank knew things were getting worse so something needed to change at some point soon. He had some serious thinking to do, home help, caregivers, retirement village, or a rest home … or perhaps just ending it all.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Frank and Elsie had been out getting her medication supplies; they needed to do that more often now since Frank’s discussion with their doctor. On their way back home, after they had turned into their street, they noticed a car parked out the front of their house. As they got closer, the car looked familiar to Frank but Elsie didn’t recognize it. It was a small low city car, when they arrived at their home, Frank knew the car. It was the one that hit Elsie. They turned into their driveway as the driver was leaving Dave and Julie’s; Dave had noticed their car and mentioned they were almost back. So the driver had seen them turn in to their driveway so was coming to talk with them. Frank and Elsie got out of their car as she was walking down the driveway toward them; she was a bit shocked to see who they were.

  Frank spoke first, “hello, is there something you want?”

  The woman answered in a professional tone, “hello, my name is Janine Morley; I rang you and said I’d come and see you about care-giving and home help. It’s what I do. Are you Frank and Elsie Herbert? I wasn’t aware of who you are; I will leave, if you want me to; I’m sorry about the accident.”

  Frank understood how she must be feeling about this, “yes, we are Frank and Elsie Herbert. You’re welcome to talk with us, if you want to, but the accident is history now, let it pass on. I know it wasn’t your fault, so don’t feel bad about it, come inside and we can have a talk.” Elsie didn’t respond at all, she just stood looking blank.

  Janine answered, “very well, thank you, yes, I’ll come and talk with you.”

  They went to the back door and as Frank was unlocking it, Janine was glancing around the yard. She noticed the overgrown garden but was focusing on the several possible dangers she saw. There was a rake on the ground that could be a trip-up for someone, that really caught her attention. There was also a hose coiled up, but only partially, the rest of it was spread across the lawn, another trip-up. She also saw a stack of timber against the garden shed, but not well- stacked, with small pieces jutting out the sides. It wasn’t a tall stack, but it definitely looked unstable. The dangers weren’t serious dangers for healthy people. But for someone who wasn’t sure what they were doing or who couldn’t pay attention to their surroundings, they were indeed dangers. If someone were to fidget with the bits of timber poking out the sides, the rest of it could easily fall onto their feet.

  They went inside and Frank took her through to the dining table. Janine noticed all the timber in the house so understood why there was timber stacked outside. Elsie went off to the sitting room to sit and read. “You need to excuse Elsie; she doesn’t mix with strangers these days. She mostly spends her time alone, reading or watching TV.”

  “I understand that, people with Alzheimer’s often find it difficult to relate to strange people or surroundings. It’s a shame when the ones they already know then become the strangers.”

  “So you say you’d talked to Ivan, what’s the situation there, did he call you?”

  “Yes, I’m a member of his church; he often gives me names and addresses of people in need of some home help. He said he’d talked to you about it.”

  “Yes he did, he said I’d get a call, funny how things work out, isn’t it? An odd coincidence, considering the accident, that you’re here to talk about Elsie. So what were you doing next door?”

  “I called in to see you but you weren’t here, so I went next door to see if I had the right place, sometimes things change, I could’ve had the wrong address, or you could’ve gone away for a while. I was just checking when they saw your car arrive. I was only over there for a few minutes.”

  Frank felt all right with this, “would you like a coffee? I have the real stuff here; a good strong brew would do you good.”

  Janine wasn’t about to accept that, “caffeine isn’t good for some people; I’ll pass on that, thanks.”

  Frank thought that was odd, “what could be wrong with coffee? It’s not like drinking too much alcohol.”

  “It can decrease your body’s absorption of calcium, depending on how much you drink; I don’t want health problems when I get older, so I don’t drink it often. And when I do have one, it isn’t too strong. It can also dry us out a lot; that’s not good for a woman’s skin. Too much of it can have negative effects on our health. How much do you two drink?”

  “We wouldn’t have more than five or six cups a day now. Until a few years ago, it was always ready and we drank it all day, every day. Do you think that’s a problem?”

  “It sounds like caffeine abuse to me; you said you had a good, strong brew of the real stuff. If it’s six cups a day, but very strong, you could easily be damaging yourself. You say cups, how big are they?”

  Frank got his favorite coffee mug from out of the cupboard; Janine was shocked at the size of it. She said seriously, but with a smile, “that’s no cup, that’s more like a mini-bucket. You have a caffeine problem if you drink six of those a day. You should switch to herb teas if you want to take care of yourselves, or at least back off how much you’re drinking. I know it can give people an energy boost, but it isn’t a healthy boost. If you’re drinking that much in a day, every day, it can’t be good for you. How much does Elsie drink? It’s a diuretic, so it may increase her urine flow, so if she doesn’t notice it could cause her trouble. If she has incontinence problems, or is a bit wound up and fidgety, unable to relax, then the coffee could be playing a part in that.” She didn’t know often he had more than six of his mini-buckets of ultra- strong coffee.

  “Elsie has one whenever I do, if I have one, I take one to her, but her cup is not as big as mine.”

  Frank was interested in what Janine was saying. “Do you know about things like herb teas and healthy foods and unhealthy foods? We’re thinking of changing what we eat. Most of what I cook for Elsie comes from a can or packet in the freezer. I mostly just heat up pre-cooked meals and do soups and other light, instant foods like pies. I buy pre-cooked meals as they’re fast and easy, to me the kitchens just a work station, I don’t enjoy cooking at all.”

  “I see, there’s a lot of sodium and fat in some foods, like cans of soup and processed meats. You could start eating fresh, leafy, green vegetables, and some fish like salmon or sardines. That would be good for your health, for both of you.”

  “You seem to know a lot about this, are you trained in some sort of food therapy?”

&
nbsp; “No, I’m actually a qualified nurse, but I haven’t worked as a nurse for several years. I prefer to work out in the community where I can be more in touch with people and get to know them on a personal level, not just as a patient. I’m no food therapist; it’s just that I’m interested in what’s good or bad for us. If we eat right, then maybe we can avoid having to take medications later on. If we take care of our bodies, we may be less likely to get seriously ill. What about your own health, how are you doing?”

  “I’ve had high blood pressure and high cholesterol in the past, but not so much now. I stopped eating so many fry-ups; I liked my fried meats. And I don’t drink alcohol now; a drink got me into fry-up mode. I was on medication for a long time, but I don’t need it now. At least, I think I don’t, I haven’t bothered having a check-up for a long time. But enough of that now, it’s Elsie who is the concern here, not me. Why are you actually here?”

  “Ivan thought I could perhaps call in sometime and give you some ideas on how to care for Elsie. There’s more to it than just feeding her and giving her pills. That’s why the accident happened, she was out alone, and not sure what was going on around her. She’s at the stage now where she needs constant supervision; she shouldn’t be wandering the streets alone anymore. If you’re doing the meals and caring for the house and watching out for her, you may be under stress but not realize it. So, if you have any questions regarding her care, please feel free to ask.”

  “Well, I knew she wasn’t on to it anymore, but I think she’s free to make her own choices, I won’t hold her captive here. Are you telling me that she can’t go out now?

  “No, I’m saying she shouldn’t go out alone. But you could take her out.”

  That was interpreted two different ways in Frank’s mind, but he wouldn’t mention that. “Are you here looking for work or is it just a visit?”

  “I have work, but if you want me to, I could come here two mornings a week, but only from 8:00 a.m. until 12:00 as a home help/care-giver, I just do what needs to be done for the household and the one who’s sick. I could pre-prepare healthy meals for you both, if you get in the supplies I mention. I could also do some serious care-giving at night if you want me to. That would have to be after 8:00 p.m. though. I can bathe her, check her basic health like her pulse rate, and also see how she is responding, and what she remembers or doesn’t remember. You need to bear in mind here that Alzheimer’s won’t go away, and as for how long she’s had it, how do we really know? She could have been under its spell for quite a while before you noticed.”

  Frank said, “I’m really not sure how long she’s had it. I first noticed something not right about eighteen months ago, but before that, I knew she wasn’t as on to it as she used to be. I didn’t take a lot of notice though and just thought she was getting older, so I don’t know the actual date things changed. So she could be two years or more with it, maybe even two and a half. I really don’t know other than when I got serious about watching and listening to her. But she’s had a scan; they don’t think it’s too far advanced yet. I’m not sure how long it takes to go through the stages or if it’s different for each individual.”

  “It can vary time-wise for each one who has it, but the basics of Alzheimer’s are the same for all.” She then withdrew a business card and handed it to him. “Well, my times up, I need to get going now, I just called in to introduce myself, give me a call if you need help.”

  Frank looked at her thoughtfully, “I may do that. I’ll think on it and let you know”

  As Janine left, she thought she might end up back there, as Frank was not looking relaxed at all, and she was sure he needed some input concerning their diet. She knew this situation well; she had many clients who didn’t understand what certain foods and drinks can do. She knew there are as many bad foods as there are good foods, so it’s often just a case of changing someone’s diet in order to help maintain their current state and to prevent repetitive problems like high cholesterol. There were many people she had met who had no idea about high sodium intake or what fatty foods can do. But she knew there were good fats as well as bad fats; it was just a matter of telling people which ones to avoid and which ones to consume. A lot of her work was preparing meals for people; she would often freeze them so they could have them at a later date. But foods like salads and coleslaw she wouldn’t freeze, they were best fresh in order to gain the benefits of their nutrients. However, she knew many of the people she took care of weren’t interested in what was good or bad for them as they thought their medications would take care of any problems they had. But many medications had side effects; she assumed Elsie would be feeling a little nauseous at times with her medications for osteoporosis, and her diet, with plenty of coffee. She hoped she would get to spend some time with them soon as Ivan seemed to have a deep concern for them. He hadn’t mentioned to her the conversation he’d had with Frank regarding euthanasia, he wasn’t about to pass on such things. But he hoped Janine’s input would give Frank another look at the situation.

  Janine knew that often when someone was caring for another, they were not aware of what was best for the one they were caring for. Sometimes the home environment could be dangerous if things were scattered about and not put away after use. She also knew that often the elderly were left to fend for themselves. Which they could not always do as some were physically disabled with poor concentration levels.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Late one night, Elsie woke up fully alert, she lay there in her bed with her mind in a questioning mode. She began to wonder why it was that she was sleeping alone, when her husband was in the next room, also sleeping alone. She wasn’t prepared to accept this; she thought he must have set this up when her leg was in plaster. She didn’t remember it was her move, not his suggestion. She managed to get herself up and out of bed and went into his room, which of course was once her room. She saw him asleep in their bed, with her side of it looking appealing to her. She walked over, pulled back the blankets, and got herself in beside him. He was asleep when she entered the room but woke as he felt the movement; he was pleased she was back. He turned over to look at her; she smiled at him and said, “Hi Frankie, I’m back.”

  It felt right to Frank to have her in their bed next to him again, the way he felt it was meant be. Frank felt a peace descend upon him; he hadn’t realized how much he had missed her. He looked at her fondly and said, “it’s good to see you here, welcome back. Goodnight, El.” They both then gently drifted off to sleep again.

  The next morning after breakfast, Elsie went to her couch again to read her magazines, but she wasn’t in the mood for reading this time. She was having some serious thoughts about her situation as it was now. She thought about all the things that had been happening lately and was a little depressed by it all. She wasn’t at all happy with the way things were; she would rather it all just ended now. She was in her own home, but was unable to live a normal life, to her, life was rapidly coming to an end. She was thinking about how life wasn’t just about living, being alive was only half of it. This wasn’t living she thought, she was able to stand and walk, but was uncomfortable bending or kneeling. She thought how she couldn’t easily get herself in or out of a bath or do things she once could do like maintaining the garden she had planted. She could get from chair to chair or get in and out of bed but wasn’t always aware of what she could or should be doing. She just passed her days aimlessly and had become bored annoyed and frustrated. She thought she had best talk with Frank about ending it all. She could do it herself but didn’t have the means or know-how to do it gently and peacefully; she needed Frank’s help with this.

  She called out to Frank to come into the room. He came in and sat down and was ready to talk with her, but she had no words to say about her thoughts now. It was more just a thought than a decision; she wasn’t up to getting too serious about it. She just lightheartedly spoke to him about getting more magazines and such like. Frank casually responded to her chatter in a good mood. He felt
there was something on her mind that she wasn’t letting on about, but he wouldn’t push it. He just responded as he normally did whichever way she was comfortable with. He saw far more of her than she was aware of. She didn’t know it, but others clearly saw her state, when she tried to cover up her mood or mishaps, they were plain to see by others, what she thought she was hiding wasn’t hidden at all. After some mindless chatter, Frank knew it was time to get her some lunch. He said to her caringly with a grin, “I’ll go and get some lunch ready for us, what would you like to eat?”

  She looked at him blankly, “just whatever you want is fine with me, but I’m not really hungry. Just make yourself something.”

  Frank replied, “you need to eat, I’ll make us both some lunch. Just wait awhile. I won’t be long.”

  Frank got to the kitchen and thought how much he was sick of preparing meals. He opened the freezer and pulled out a precooked pie, it just needed thawing. He placed it in the microwave on auto thaw, then reheat, which was his style of cooking. Sometimes for dinner he didn’t cook, he got take-out meals which were delivered. When Elsie had done the cooking, she was aware of cholesterol issues, so would cook healthy meals for him, but Frank didn’t care.

  The microwave bleeped when lunch was ready. He took out the pie and sliced it, then put it on plates and went back into the sitting room. They didn’t eat at the dining table much these days, mainly because their meals were mostly light and easy, so there was no need to lay a table like Elsie used to do. Frank finished his pie quickly, but Elsie only nibbled on hers and left most of it. He had eaten her left-over’s and as he was removing the plates he realized why she was losing weight. It was common for her not to finish a meal now. His idea of a meal wasn’t what she considered a meal, she preferred real food. She didn’t enjoy his instant micro-waved foods so often didn’t bother eating them. He took her a coffee which she always enjoyed and would often want a refill. Some days there was more caffeine in her system than there were nutrients.