Extra! Extra! Dead All About It (An Avery Shaw Mystery Book 12)

by Amanda M. Lee

  “Somehow I don’t doubt that.” Eliot held out his hand. “Now, I believe we have a date in the pool.”

  I took his hand without hesitation. “Do you want to bet how long it will take me to make him cry?”

  “Why would I want to bet on that?”

  “It might be fun.”

  “I think I’ll pass.”

  “Okay, but I was going to show you a new trick I learned on the pink flamingo if you wanted to bet.”

  “Twenty bucks says you can’t do it within twenty-four hours.”

  “You’re on.”

  3 Three

  I woke the next morning to find myself in an odd position: twined around Eliot with my head resting on his chest.

  Surprised, I could do nothing but pull back and stare for a long time.

  “I can hear your mind working from here,” Eliot muttered, refusing to open his eyes. “The alarm hasn’t gone off. Go back to sleep.”

  Rather than answer I blinked and watched him. I didn’t remember throwing myself on top of him during the night and I was suspicious he somehow tricked me into doing it … although I had no idea how or why.

  As if sensing my thoughts, Eliot pried open an eye and pinned me with a look. “What are you thinking?”

  It was a simple question with myriad answers. “I woke up practically on top of you.”

  “So what?”

  “I … don’t remember falling asleep that way.”

  “No, you fell asleep during the last ten minutes of the news. You were snoring like a freight train before I turned off the television.”

  That sounded nothing like me. “I don’t snore.”

  “You snore louder than any dude I’ve ever met. It’s fine.” Eliot dragged a hand through his hair, his mind working as he stared at me. “You have an odd look on your face. I’m mildly worried you’re about to do something dippy.”

  Oh, well, now I was definitely offended. “I don’t do dippy things.”

  “You do dippy things all the time. You can’t help yourself.”

  “Name one time I’ve done anything dippy.”

  “You took your grandfather with you when spying on a killer several weeks ago.”

  Oh, of course he’d bring that up. “At least I didn’t go alone. I think that was forward thinking on my part … and, for the record, I didn’t know she was a killer at the time, so that was definitely forward thinking.”

  “You would think that.” Eliot flicked the end of my nose. “What were you really thinking just now?”

  I considered answering, but I wasn’t in the mood for a fight this early in the morning. “It doesn’t matter.” I shifted to climb out of bed. “I need to shower and get ready for work. Fish told me to call him before heading out because he might have an assignment for me.”

  Eliot grabbed my arm before I could escape. “Tell me what you were thinking,” he prodded, serious. “I don’t want this to inadvertently turn into a thing while I’m not looking.”

  “What makes you think it would turn into a thing?”

  “You turn everything into a thing.”

  “I do not.”

  “You do. I’m not going to let you turn an argument into whether or not you turn everything into a thing into a thing. I want to go back to the last thing.”

  “I think you’re confused.”

  “Don’t push me.” Eliot extended a finger. “What were you thinking when I woke up? I can tell you were thinking something.”

  I sighed, resigned. “Do you really want to know?”

  “You’re not getting out of this bed until you tell me. Don’t even bother thinking up a lie. I know when you’re lying … at least most of the time.”

  That was true … and beyond annoying.

  “Fine.” I snagged his gaze. “I was thinking that … somehow in the middle of the night I practically rolled on top of you. It shouldn’t have been comfortable, yet I woke feeling refreshed. I thought that was odd and briefly wondered if you were irritated about it because you were kind of pinned to the mattress. Then I decided that you couldn’t possibly be irritated because I’m awesome and you’re a dude, and dudes like it when women roll on top of them.”

  Eliot snorted out a laugh. “You think like a shark.”

  “Is that a good or bad thing?”

  “Both. It basically means you’re always moving, never stopping to take a moment to simply enjoy something.”

  “I didn’t say I didn’t enjoy it.”

  “I can tell it baffled you,” Eliot countered. “You aren’t sure what to make of it. Just to add fuel to the fire, it’s hardly the first time. You often wrap yourself around me like that. I kind of like it.”

  He was so calm, so earnest, I could do nothing but gape. “You like it?”

  “I do.” Eliot leaned up and kissed my cheek. “Now, I’m going to hop in the shower while you obsess about this. Once I’m done, I’m going to the kitchen to make breakfast. Do you want eggs or pancakes this morning?”

  That sounded like a dangerous question, as if there was some sort of hidden test in there. “Eggs.”

  “That’s what I figured.” Eliot strode toward the master bedroom, only stopping when he reached the door. “Are you searching everything I said to see if there was hidden meaning?”

  “No.”

  “When you’re done, make sure you pick comfortable shoes for work. No matter what assignment Fish gives you, I know you’ll find a way down to the festival to mess with the candidates. You’ll need comfortable shoes if you’re going to follow them around.”

  “You just know everything, don’t you?” I grumbled.

  “Yup. That’s why you climb on top of me every night. You’re trying to absorb my knowledge.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “This is not funny.”

  “Oh, I agree.” Eliot adopted a stern expression. “It’s totally serious. Speaking of serious … if you want to hop in the shower with me, I might be able to take your mind off things before breakfast. You’ll have to decide if it’s worth giving up your deep thoughts. I’ll even turn up the water temperature for you.”

  Hmm. “I’m not having deep thoughts.”

  “Oh, Trouble, you’re always having deep thoughts. Some thoughts are merely deeper than others. Come on. We don’t have all morning.”

  ELIOT PUT A SPRING in my step – which was his way – and wiped any deep thoughts I was having from my mind. I took a minute to call my editor Fred Fish before leaving the bedroom. Eliot was almost finished cooking breakfast by the time I emerged.

  One look at my face told him things were about to shift in our world.

  “Oh, geez.” Eliot wrinkled his nose. “Fish gave in and you’re going on the election beat, aren’t you?”

  I balked. “How can you possibly know that?” I flicked my eyes to the cell phone in my hand. “Did you put a listening device on my phone?”

  “Please. While I might want to listen to your plotting sessions when it comes to work – mostly because I don’t want you running around and getting into trouble – I’d kill myself if I had to wade through the conversations you have with Lexie, Carly and Marvin on a daily basis.”

  Oh, well, that was insulting. “I’ll have you know that those are primo conversations.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Eliot rolled his eyes. “I heard your side of one with Marvin just a few days ago. I believe you were discussing the best way to sneak out of a restaurant without letting his date know he was making a run for it.”

  Hey, that was an entertaining conversation. “You may not like his style, but you know darned well that was funny.”

  “Yes. I especially liked it when you told him to go in the back, knock out one of the waiters, steal his uniform and then crawl out a window in the bathroom. That wasn’t ridiculous at all.”

  “Hey!” I extended a warning finger. “That was a great plan. It totally would’ve worked.”

  “You’re a menace when you’re allowed to spend too much time with Marvin. He warps you
r brain.”

  Speaking of that … . “You know, most men wouldn’t like it if their girlfriends spent as much time with another man as I do with Marvin. You never say a thing about it.”

  Eliot’s face was blank. “Am I supposed to say something about it?”

  I shrugged, noncommittal. “Well, it wouldn’t hurt my feelings if you occasionally showed a flash of jealousy. I’m not talking about you going alpha and beating the snot out of anyone, but if you were a little bit jealous it might help my ego.”

  “Your ego is already so big it needs its own ZIP code.”

  Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration. “My ego is small.”

  “You must think my brain is small if you want me to buy that.”

  I tried again. “My ego is normal sized.”

  “Oh, yeah, whatever.” Eliot rolled his neck. “Do you want bacon or sausage?”

  “Both. In fact, maybe you should try wrapping the sausage links in bacon, because that sounds delicious.”

  “You have quite the refined palate there.” Eliot grinned as he shuffled toward the refrigerator. “What were we talking about again?”

  “How you’re jealous of Marvin but hide it so well.”

  “Oh, right. I’m not jealous of Marvin.”

  I made a wry face. “Fine.”

  “I am jealous of Jake. If you need me to be jealous of someone, mission accomplished.”

  I stilled, surprised by the admission. “But … I thought you were okay with Jake.”

  Eliot lifted his eyes, his expression unreadable.

  “I thought you said we could all hang out and everything would be okay.”

  “I did say that and I meant it,” Eliot said after a beat. “That doesn’t mean I’m not occasionally jealous when you guys launch into a story from when you were teenagers and were all over one another.”

  “Oh. You obviously don’t like that.”

  “I don’t hate it,” Eliot countered. “If you could leave out the part of the story where you were about to make out or have sex when you tell it, I’d appreciate that. I can’t control everything. In most cases I’m fine with it.”

  “So, let me get this straight,” I started. “You’re perfectly fine with Marvin even though we talk about his weird sex stories and he even once had me look at his ass because he was convinced he had cancer even though it was a zit.”

  Eliot tilted his head to the side, considering. “Yes. I didn’t know about the zit thing, but I’m still fine with it.”

  Oh, well, that just figured. “You’re not okay with Jake, even though we go out of our way not to talk about relationships or anything.”

  “I’m fine with Jake. We’re all in a happy place – other than you trying to fix him up with a woman you’ve fallen in love with – and I don’t want to change anything. However, I do feel the occasional twinge of jealousy regarding Jake. I can’t help it.”

  “Huh.” I didn’t know what to make of that. “Would you think less of me if I said that I was happy you cared enough to be jealous?”

  Eliot snorted. “No. I’ll never think less of you.”

  “Okay, well, I’m definitely having a good morning.”

  Eliot, who appeared thankful to change the subject, cocked an eyebrow. “Why are you suddenly having a good morning? Last time I checked you had deep thoughts twice and slippery shower sex once. That should’ve only put you in half a good mood.”

  “You don’t know everything about me, no matter what you think,” I supplied.

  “I know quite a bit.”

  Sadly, that was true. “Anyway … .” I made a clucking sound with my tongue as I regrouped. “So, I called Fish and I have good news. Not only am I off the human interest story beat, but he’s giving me free rein to spend the next few days tracking down everything and anything I can get on the county commissioner candidates before the primary.”

  Instead of being excited for me – as I expected – Eliot rolled his eyes to the sky and groaned. “No, no, no.”

  I tamped down my bubbling annoyance. “What do you mean by that?”

  “I mean … no.” Eliot was firm. “I don’t know what Fish was thinking, but giving you limitless time to stalk Aiken and Ludington is a recipe for trouble.”

  “You don’t know,” I challenged. “Things could turn out perfectly fine.”

  “Oh, I do know.” Eliot wasn’t about to back down. “I’ve seen you with both those guys and you’ll end up pushing one of them – probably Ludington – too far. Then I’m going to have to step in and threaten him because I love you and … well … it’s going to turn into a thing.”

  “It won’t turn into a thing.”

  “Yes, it will.”

  I knit my eyebrows, frustrated. “It won’t. I know exactly what I’m doing.”

  “Avery, I think you’re one of the best reporters I’ve ever met.” Eliot’s gaze was clear and focused. “I think you’re diligent, too smart for your own good, and like a really determined dog with a bone when you want to be.”

  “Despite comparing me to a dog, I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “It was only partially meant as one,” Eliot fired back. “You’re also someone who needs structure. I thought Fish realized that. That’s why he’s been making you write human interest stories. You’re someone who needs consequences to learn.”

  Oh, well, that was simply ridiculous. “I don’t need consequences. I need space to maneuver … and that’s exactly what he’s giving me.”

  “No, he’s giving you a license to annoy,” Eliot shot back. “Good grief. With nothing better to do than stalk political candidates, you’ll fall completely off the rails. Geez.” Eliot pinched the bridge of his nose, his expression distracted and worried. “You’re going to end up in jail. I need to run to the bank so I have cash on hand in case I need to bail you out.”

  I balked. “That’s ludicrous. I’m not going to end up in jail.”

  “Ludington has been looking for a reason to lock you up.”

  “Yes, but the festival is in Mount Clemens. They don’t have their own police department. The sheriff’s department patrols the city, which means Jake is in charge. No matter how annoyed he gets at me – and I expect that he’ll never be annoyed again when he meets Lauren and falls in love – he won’t throw me in jail.”

  Instead of agreeing, Eliot tilted his head to the side. “I don’t know. Jake sounded really angry on the phone yesterday.”

  “He always sounds that way. He can’t help himself.”

  “But … .” Eliot snagged my gaze, something akin to worry flitting through his eyes. “You’ll be careful, right?”

  “Is that a trick question?” I was confused. “Tad doesn’t have the gumption to touch me, and Aiken … well … he’s too smart to go after me physically. I’ll be fine.”

  “The sad thing is you’ve already given this way too much thought,” Eliot lamented. “I’m still going to the bank for cash to make sure I have it on hand for the weekend.”

  “That’s probably a good idea. Make sure you have at least two grand in case I do something really irritating.”

  Eliot merely shook his head. “My life was boring before I met you.”

  “I know.” I patted his arm as my phone beeped with an incoming text message. “This will be great. I’ll be able to follow Tad around as much as I like and he won’t be able to do a thing about it. I bet I have him crying before the end of the day.”

  “I bet you have me crying before the end of the day,” Eliot muttered under his breath.

  “I heard that.”

  “I figured you would.”

  I grabbed my phone and stared at the screen, my grand plans for irritation dominance vacating quickly as I read Fish’s text.

  “What’s wrong?” Eliot asked, noticing the change in my demeanor. “Did Fish come to his senses – for the love of all that’s holy, please be that – and give you rules to follow?”

  “No, but it seems I have a slight detour before
nirvana.”

  “I don’t know what that means.”

  “It means they found a body in Mount Clemens this morning,” I said, my mind busy with possibilities. “I have to follow up on that before I go after Tad and Aiken.”

  “Oh, well, at least that’s something.” Eliot brightened considerably. “At least if you have a murder you’ll follow some rules. Sure, they’re rules of your own making, but you’ll be less likely to lose your head if you have to focus on a murder.”

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I waved off his concern. “I bet I can get everything I need on the murder before lunch and then turn to my primary mission after that.”

  “Your primary mission?” Eliot looked pained. “I’d better get four thousand in cash, huh? You might get arrested for crimes against both of them.”

  “That’s definitely a possibility.”

  “Sadly, I know that’s true.”

  4 Four

  The parking situation in Mount Clemens wasn’t any better than the previous night. I had to park four blocks away and walk downtown. It wasn’t hard to figure out where the action was, though, because four sheriff’s department vehicles were parked near the river walk.

  Jake, his dark hair pushed into its usual messy bird’s nest, was focused on the action and didn’t notice me approaching until I was right on top of him. I took up position on his right, staring at the medical examiner’s team as they worked on a body I couldn’t quite make out, and offered up a tight smile as Jake slid a look in my direction.

  “Good morning.”

  “Oh, geez.” Jake made a face. “I should’ve known Fish would send you. It’s been two weeks of absolute bliss while you were punished for whatever you did to that sports guy. I knew it wouldn’t last.”

  He was cranky. That could work to my advantage because he often spoke before thinking when he was agitated. “You’re such a fun morning person. Has anyone ever told you that?”

  Jake scowled. “I know what you’re trying to do.”

  I adopted an air of innocence. “And what’s that?”