Who I Am With You

by Amanda Lanclos

  “Stella, what are you talking about?” I look between the two of them and the look that Bailey is giving her says it all. If I never believed in that saying ‘if looks could kill’ I believed it now.

  “That girl ain’t got nothing better to do than run around on men.” Stella eyes Bailey as she keeps on talking. “That girl there, she sure ain’t what you need.”

  “Oh, I was exactly what he needed last night,” Bailey interrupts. “It was pretty good, too.” She crosses her arms over her chest and I want to laugh but I bite it back.

  “Well Stella, was there a reason you really came over?” I look at the little black lady sitting in my rocker, looking at me. She takes another sip of her tea and I smile. “Isn’t it too early to be visiting with Jack?”

  “Baby, it is never too early to visit with Jack. He’s always there when I need him,” she smiles. “But, I was coming to let you know, I hired a girl to come clean up around the trailer. She just moved here last week. She’s coming over today to meet me. Didn’t want you getting all nervous when there was a pretty little blonde over at my house.”

  “Since you know, I’m always looking in your windows,” I roll my eyes. “I appreciate that. Now, why don’t you go wait for your company while my company gets dressed so I can take her home.” I turn my hazel eyes to meet Bailey’s bright green ones. She takes the hint and saunters into the house.

  “Boy, that girl there ain’t nothing but trouble. I hope you at least wrapped your willy,” Stella gripes as she slowly rises from the rocker. “I just knew you had some sense about you.”

  “Now Stella, I already have a mother.”

  “Boy, you better be glad I ain’t your momma. I’d done beat your ass.” She walks over, putting her arm around my waist and hugging me. “Now Dallas, you’re a good man, but I won’t lie. You ain’t a smart one with that woman.”

  “What’s so wrong with Bailey?” I look at Stella. I’ve never seen someone that the woman hasn’t really liked.

  “She’s just way wrong for you. But it could be that I had to wait two hours to see my doctor, because she was too busy banging him on his desk,” she raises an eyebrow. “Did I mention the man was married with two kids at home?”

  “Well, good thing I wore a condom.” I say sarcastically. “Stella, I was just scratching an itch. One I haven’t scratched in a long damn time,” I put my hand on her shoulder. “Maybe we need to introduce you to a man, too.”

  “Oh hell no, boy! You didn’t just go there! Come on now!” She slaps my bare chest with her hand, leaving a mark instantly.

  “Ow! Now that was uncalled for.” I huff out as I place my hand over the mark.

  “You respect your elders, boy! Now, for that, no more brownies and lemonade for a week!” She saunters down the steps, turning around and smiling her smile that always makes a bad day good. “I’ll see you soon! I’ll send that girl down here with some red beans later, maybe.”

  “Maybe? Come on now, Stella.” I put my hand to my chest as if I’m hurt. “I can’t miss my red bean Sunday.”

  “Well, you sure missed church. I mean, you ain’t missing my red beans over no twat, but you’ll miss some Jesus?” She throws her hand in the air as she walks to her car. “You need you some Jesus with the taste in women you’ve gots.” She climbs into the front seat of her car and I can’t help but laugh as I turn and walk back into my house. Right into the angry eyes of a fiery redhead.

  “That woman has some damn nerve!” Bailey screams as she stalks the floor of my entryway. “She doesn’t know a damn thing about me.” She slams her foot down in a petty way and I’m beginning to think Stella may be a good judge of character.

  “Now Bailey, she’s just messing with you. She likes to pick, but she said you did make her wait two hours on Doctor Johnson the other day.” I put my hands on my hips, her eyes seem to change from angry to lustful in a matter of seconds. But, that isn’t happening again. “I didn’t mean to sleep so late. I’ve got to be at my parents’ house in an hour. Let me get a shirt and I’ll bring you home.”

  “Okay,” she says dejectedly as she walks outside, leaning against a rail.

  I grab a shirt, throw my boots on and walk outside. “You ready?”

  “As ready as I’ll ever be,” she grumbles as she walks down the steps of my front porch. “I guess after this morning, this was a one time thing.” She doesn’t say it as a question. She says it as if she already knows the truth.

  “It was always a one time thing. I’m kind of hung up on someone,” I say softly. I don’t want to lead the woman on.

  “What? You mean to tell me I’m some rebound?” She glares at me, her red hair blowing in her face as we ride down the long driveway with the windows open, dust flying behind us.

  “As if I wasn’t.”

  “Touché,” she replies quietly as she looks out of the window. “But, if it makes you feel any better. I didn’t know he was married.”

  “It doesn’t matter to me. It’s your life, not mine,” I say softly, because in the end, it isn’t mine. Whether she knew he was married or not, is something she has to live with.

  “Turn here,” she points in a direction and I turn down the road filled with houses. She directs me to a small green house with white trim. It fits her to a tee, even after having one night with her, I can tell. She has flowers all over the place and ferns.

  “Nice place.” I slide my hand over my neck, a nervous habit I’ve never been able to break.

  “Thanks, it’s my little slice of Heaven while I live in Hell.” She smiles as she climbs out of the truck. “It was nice meeting you Dallas.”

  “Yeah, you too.” I salute her as she turns, swaying her hips as she walks toward her door. Yeah, not happening again sister. No matter how good that ass looks in those shorts.

  Backing out of her driveway, I let out a long breath as I drive to my parents for Sunday lunch. I have to prepare myself for the clusterfuck that is coming, but at least maybe Austin will be there to help deflect the whole we aren’t getting any younger speech that is always directed at me. They will be waiting forever if they think I am getting married and giving them grandkids. That future isn’t an option for me since she walked out of my life ten years ago. She was my future, the woman who was supposed to grow round with my children, but she chose something else. It wasn’t just her fault though, because well, I never went after her either. So, I suppose we both could be to blame for my unhappiness in life.

  Pulling into the driveway of my parents’ home always gives me a nostalgic feeling. It was where I’d spent all my years learning to be the man I am now. The big moss-covered oak tree in the front yard was where were I broke my arm for the first time. I remember climbing up the big branch after Austin told me I couldn’t do it. Smiling, I rub the scar where the bone had poked through the skin, making me pass out from all the blood. Coming around the circular driveway I take in the white walls of the plantation home that was handed down from generation-to-generation from the Herringtons.

  “You made it,” Mom says as I climb out of the vehicle, of course the woman would be outside as soon as I pull in. She has a damn eagle eye when she’s expecting her boys.

  “Momma, you know I wouldn’t miss a Sunday lunch with the most beautiful woman I know.” I give her a kiss on the cheek as I walk by her, smelling the amazing aroma that’s wafting out of the open screen door. “Is that chicken pot pie?”

  “I think you’ll need it today,” she says coyly. What the hell? I walk toward the house but I’m stopped when Dad walks out of the kitchen with a glass of tea.

  “Hey Dallas. You look kind of rough,” Dad says with a smile. “See you missed my sermon today.”

  “Yeah, about that,” I run my hand over my neck, which makes Dad chuckle.

  “Don’t, everyone needs a night out. Except the Pastor, I probably shouldn’t miss my service.” He spins Mom as he walks by her, out to the porch. “It’s probably a good thing you weren’t there. I don’t think you’d ha
ve handled it well.”

  “Handled what? What the hell is going on?” I cross my arms over my chest, looking at Mom and Dad, but both are being evasive.

  “This is something we aren’t getting involved in,” Momma says as she walks down the long hallway toward the kitchen. “Now come on before the food I made gets cold.”

  I follow the woman who spends most of her time in this kitchen. The six-burner gas stove and double oven was her dream and that woman could rival Paula Deen with her love of butter. Between Momma and Stella I have no clue how I don’t weigh four hundred pounds.

  “Dad? You gonna tell me what the hell is going on?”

  “Nope,” he smirks as he slams a hand over my back. “Just know that God has a way of making sure things play out the way He intended. Timing is always a huge factor.”

  I sit down, taking off my hat and cross my ankles under the table. With the way these two are acting, Austin isn’t coming to save me. That means I need to down this damn food and make my exit before I get stuck in the middle of the damn grandbaby talk.

  “Son, slow down before you choke,” Momma says with a smile. “I know why you’re eating so fast, but I won’t be speaking of grandbabies today. Just enjoy your food and then go on home and take care of those horses.”

  “Speaking of horses, Momma. Sadie is getting ready to have her colt.” My eyes light up as I talk about the mare. “Maybe that can be your grandchild.”

  “Mr. Foster has been talking about coming to look at some of your horses. He said he needed a new one for his daughter.” Dad says around a bite of chicken potpie.

  “Tell him to come on by, I’ve been training Presley. She’ll do good for Annabelle.” I take a bite, the moan coming from my mouth before I can stop it. This is far better than sex.

  “Well, thank you, Dallas,” my mother blushes as she clears her throat.

  “Aw, hell. I did it again didn’t I?” I gripe as Dad throws his head back and laughs. “Sorry,” I slur as I finish the last bite. I take a swig of tea before I get up from the table. “Now Momma, that was the best pot pie I’ve ever had. You spoil me, but I need to get to work. I got a late start today.”

  “Of course, baby. Call me later tonight if you need anything.” She stands slowly, gripping me in a hug. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but they are freaking me out.

  “Did someone die?” I pull her back, looking into her eyes, but she averts my gaze quickly.

  “No, I just have a feeling things are about to get pretty spicy around this little town.” Momma says softly as she kisses my cheek. “Now go on and get back to the ranch.”

  “Okay then,” I say as I walk slowly to the car, pulling my cell phone out of my back pocket to call Austin. As soon as I turn down the main highway, I dial his number, but it goes straight to voicemail.

  I think over in my head what the heck could be going on with my parents and as I drive the thirty minutes home, I never expect it to be what it is. Sitting on my front porch steps is an older more refined version of the person who tore my heart out of chest and stomped on it with her pretty little perfect heels. I slam my truck into park pissed that my parents didn’t tell me she was back. I grip the steering wheel, as she looks up, her eyes afraid as her eyebrows come together and she looks at me with curiosity. I slowly step out of the truck, looking her over. I take her in from the long blonde hair in waves down her back, to the light pink t-shirt and jeans she’s sporting. She’s only gotten more stunning in the past ten years, and my heart is slamming into my chest as I look into her sea-blue eyes.

  “Kennedy?”

  Chapter Three

  (One Month Earlier)

  Beep. Beep. Beep.

  My eyes open slowly as the light infiltrates them; all I see is white and the beeping increases. I feel someone’s hand on mine and I turn to look at whoever it is. I don’t recognize them and I instantly retract my hand from theirs.

  “Kennedy?” The woman’s soft voice comes out but I don’t know who Kennedy is.

  “Who are you?”

  “Oh baby, you don’t remember me do you?” The woman’s voice breaks as she hits a button, tears streaming down her eyes.

  “I’m sorry, I don’t even know who I am.” I shrug as the woman cries harder.

  “Hi there, Kennedy,” a man dressed in green scrubs comes into the room, looking at my monitor. “I’m Brandon. I’m your nurse for the evening. Do you remember why you’re here?”

  I shake my head, not sure I want to know.

  “Well, you were in an accident about a month ago. You’re vehicle hit a deer on the road, and flipped a few times. You’re very lucky to be alive. Had you not been wearing your seatbelt, we might not have had this conversation.”

  “Oh,” I don’t really know what else to say other than that. What am I supposed to say? I don’t remember anything.

  “You were in a coma. Do you know how old you are?” The man’s brown eyes are kind as he asks me these questions.

  “No?” I shake my head, looking at the woman beside me, hoping maybe she knows.

  “Do you know who this woman is?”

  “No,” I say softly as she sobs a little harder.

  Brandon walks over to me, grabbing something off the bedside table before placing the object inside my hand. I turn it over, looking into a mirror and see the same blue eyes that woman has, reflected in them. She must be my mother.

  “Kennedy, it’s okay if you don’t remember,” she says softly. I don’t want her to hurt, but I know that even by looking at us that I look just like her.

  “I don’t, but I can tell you’re my mother.” I give her a small smile, trying to reassure her. But, if I’m being one hundred percent honest, I’m scared to death.

  “She is your mother. You’re twenty-eight and you own your own design company in Montana.” Brandon says matter-of-factly.

  At least someone knows about my life.

  “Kennedy, I know you have a life here, but I’d like to take you back home when they release you from the hospital.” Mom says softly. I take her in as she speaks, her eyes are tired and she looks as if she’s worn those clothes for three days. They are wrinkled and disheveled and I wonder just how long I’ve kept her in distress.

  “Okay.” I don’t want to cause her any more trouble than she’s already been through. “Do I have any siblings?”

  “No, baby. You are an only child. I’m glad you’re taking this news so well. You haven’t been home in ten years. It will be nice to have you come back, even though it was a tragedy that made you get there.” She smiles a genuine smile and it causes me to have one of my own.

  “Well, maybe it will trigger some type of memory for me. I don’t remember anything at all,” I say honestly. My fingers pull at the lint on the blanket in front of me as I wait for her to speak.

  “Well, since you’re just waking up, we hope that your memory will start to come back to you,” Brandon interrupts as my mother smiles again.

  “You may not remember anything, but you sure haven’t forgotten what makes you, you.” Mom stands slowly, grabbing my hands again. “You always pick at things when you get nervous. I remember having to put Vaseline on your hands growing up because you picked at the skin around your nails so badly.” Her eyes brim with more tears, but she turns before they fall. Walking toward the window, she stares out at the scenery as Brandon begins to take my vitals.

  “When do I get to leave?”

  “Well, we need to run some more tests and things, but I’m sure as soon as we give you the all clear, you can go. May be another week,” he says with a kind smile. “But, I won’t say a word if someone sneaks in some really good food for you.” He winks as he puts his stethoscope back around his neck. “I’ll be in to check on you in about an hour. Need anything before I leave?”

  “Um, can I go to the ladies room?” I stretch in the bed and he actually blushes.

  “You have a catheter. It collects your urine for you, we need to take that out soon.” />
  “Are you going to do that?” I screech and he throws his hands up in way of surrender.

  “I can get Connie to come do it, much better for a woman to pull something out of your lady bits than me,” he backs out of the door. “She will be in shortly and once it’s out, she’ll help you to the ladies room.”

  “Thanks,” I say shyly as the heart monitor that I’m hooked up to starts to decrease in beeps as my heart rate slows. He scared me. There is no way I want a man down near my vagina.

  “I think you’ll really love it at home. But before we go there, we can go by your house. Get your stuff and see if anything triggers your memory once there.” Mom comes and sits beside me on the bed, leaning forward and kissing my forehead.

  “Thank you for being here, even if I can’t remember.”

  “That’s what a momma does for their babies. You may not have your memories of me, but you know who I am and I love you regardless.” She smiles a kind smile as she looks at me, taking me in.

  I can only imagine what’s going through her mind. I don’t know if I’d be able to live with myself, knowing that someone I loved as much as she had to love me, didn’t even know my name. “What’s your name?” I blurt before I stop the word vomit.

  “Lori,” she says with a smile. “Lori Miller.”

  “Where’s my father?” Immediately I feel like crap as she gives me a sad smile.

  “He died when you were fourteen. He was riding a bull at the rodeo and was bucked off. The horn went into his side, puncturing his lung and they weren’t able to save him in time.” She grabs my hand, kissing it before she stands. “I know you have tons of questions, but you really need to rest.”

  She wanted to not talk about it, and I understood. Loss was something horrible and I felt at a loss because I couldn’t remember a damn thing about my life. I wanted to be angry, but she was right. I wasn’t really aware of how tired I was until she said something. “Mom?”

  “Yeah baby?” She turns, looking at me with kind, understanding eyes.