Did Axell know she was back or was I the only one that Ace had told? Why hadn’t Roscoe told me? He worked with her at the shop, he had seen her before I even knew so why hadn’t he told me? I tossed and turned, restless from my racing mind. I grabbed my cell phone and texted Lane because I knew she’d be awake at this time in the morning. She went jogging or yoga or something every morning super early, I thought she was crazy but I guess whatever floats your boat. Lane answers on the first ring and I can tell she’s jogging, “You’re up early, you sick?”
I chuckle, “Nope just can’t sleep, want to have breakfast?”
“Do I get to pick the place?” She asks.
I’m reluctant to say yes since Lane likes all vegan and organic shit that basically tastes like cardboard but maybe I can choke some down since I just ate leftovers. “Yeah, you can pick the damn place.”
“Sweet! See you in an hour. I’ll text you the place,” she replies.
An hour later and I’m waiting outside my car as Lane approaches. Technically Lane used to be Laney, but she wanted to be just one of the guys and since she was the only girl in our group growing up, it made sense we started calling her Lane. She’s a biker babe for sure. Her boyfriend Cal belongs to an MC and everything. Lane gets out of her car and struts my way. Her distressed denim jeans go well with her fitted black band t-shirt and black combat boots. Her hair has grown out of the pixie cut and is now platinum blonde asymmetrical bob. It suits her better I think. Her tiny nose stud glistens as she approaches. “You sure you aren’t sick?” I give her a questioning look “You’re up before the sun rises and you let me pick where we eat.”
“Yeah, I’m good just a weird night.”
Lane links her arm through mine, “Well let’s eat before you fill me in.” Once we get our food and take our seats Lane stares at me intently and it makes me want to squirm. “So, tell me what’s going on?”
I let out a huff of air. “Hollis is back.” I expect her to ever some kind of grand reaction but instead, I just get a very bored look from her. “Judging by the look on your face you either don’t care or already knew.”
“Already knew,” she answers before taking a bite from her breakfast which tastes exactly like cardboard by the way.
“What the hell? You too.”
“Well, yeah Roscoe told me once he got back and realized that Holly was Hollis but I got to say he might be short a few more brain cells than we originally thought.”
Roscoe is our other best friend. Growing up he dreamed of becoming a professional skateboarder and consequently, he had a lot of injuries. Granted a lot of those injuries could have been avoided had he not been so damn daring but he was determined to be the best and once Roscoe sets his mind to something he goes at one hundred and twenty percent. It quickly became a joke between Lane and I that Roscoe was missing brain cells due to how many times he hit the pavement head first, “Why do you say that?”
Lane scoffs, “Because he didn’t even figure out it was her for a few days.”
“She does look different,” I tell her coming to his defense.
Lane rolls her eyes, “Yes she does but not that different, just grown up and healthier.”
“True.”
“So, what’s the problem?” Lane asks.
“What isn’t the problem?” I respond then go on to tell her about last night with Hollis. Before I even finish Lane is shaking her head at me. “What?” I ask defensively.
Lane continues to shake her head at me, “You know sometimes I wonder if you’ve hit your head.” I give her a questionable look. “Oh, come on, you called me because you know I’ll give it to you straight, you know damn good and well I don’t sugar coat anything, especially for you boys. You guys can be so blind sometimes that someone has to spell it out for you. Look, Hollis’s entire life was one big messed up situation. She was born into a family that really didn’t give a damn and was perfectly content to ignore her and Alex most of the time. I don’t think Hollis really knew what love was until she met you. Actually, I don’t think Hollis knew a lot about the good things in life until she met you. You were her safe place. Once she let her guard down and let you in she knew she could count on you to protect her and for someone coming from her situation, that’s huge. Then something tragic happened, and you weren’t able to be her safe place, you weren’t able to protect her and that scared her so she ran. It’s the only thing she knew. As bad as her parents were, she still loved them so in her fifteen-year-old mind she only saw people that she loved dead and she couldn’t handle the pain as it was and I’m sure the thought of losing you weighed heavy on her and it was all too much to bear. That’s not even factoring in all the legal stuff she was going to be put through and foster homes that were undoubtedly in her future. Hell, if I had been looking at all of that I probably would have run too.”
Lane is a therapist if you couldn’t tell maybe that’s why her staring makes me squirm. I feel like she’s trying to analyze me and as much as I hate it when she does it what she’s saying makes sense. I was shaken to my core by what happened to Hollis’ family so I can only imagine what she felt, especially when it came to Alex but I had a plan. I had so many plans that I had to let die right along with her family because she ran. I know I’m being selfish but it wasn’t just her parents or Alex or her life as she knew it that died that night. A huge part of me died too. The best part of me.
****
Hollis
I was sitting in the middle of my living room floor, watching the rising sunlight fill the small area. I had been up all night. I had started out packing but somewhere in the middle, I had lost sight of it. As restless as my soul was I got up and put on some music and coffee. Elliot watched my every move. It’s funny how intuitive animals can be especially your own pet. The entire time I had been packing Elliot had watched me and it was almost like I could feel him judging me. His judgment weighed heavily on me because I knew he was right. I knew my dog was right… that’s kind of pathetic.
I had sat there for a while sorting through it all as lyrics and melodies floated around me and the coffee warmed my cold limbs. Then I stumbled across something I hadn’t seen in a good while. The shoebox that contained what little life I’d had in L.A. This was the box I had managed to bring with me when I left and I had managed to keep it with me all these years. It had seen a lot of wear and tear but it’s still here, kind of like me.
I opened up the small shoebox that I had covered in stickers from some of my favorite places I had been to over the years. Opening that box was like taking a walk right down memory lane. I swear the box and everything in it smelled like Bowie. In high school Bowie took me to my first concert, it was for some local band that I haven’t heard of since but I had loved every minute of it. Bowie had bought us both a shirt and somehow they both had ended up smelling like him that scent filled the shoebox now.
Underneath that shirt was what few pictures I had. One of my parents, Alex and I when he was about three. It was taken when things were a little better. A few pictures of Alex were there as well. His innocent grayish blue eyes stared back at me with his dimpled smile and curly brown hair that was always just a little too long. His life had been cut far too short thanks to my parent’s way of life. Seven years just wasn’t enough time.
After letting a few stray tears escape I continued through the stack of pictures. Pictures of Alex and I, Bowie, Bowie and I, Alex, Bowie, and I. When Bowie had come into my life everything had seemed a little brighter. It was almost like he was the answer to my prayers that I had failed to say but thought about constantly. Bowie was a safe place, a silver lining, an unconditional love and that sliver of hope. Not only did Bowie find it in his heart to love me but he had also loved Alex. Bowie looked out for the both of us the best he could.
My heart broke for the loss of what we’d had, for the loss of Alex and for the loss of the future I had so desperately wanted. I had wanted it so badly that I had actually begun letting myse
lf believe it was possible until it was yanked from me.
The pressed wildflowers that Bowie picked for me are in the box as well. Then something I had completely forgotten about catches my eye. A set of keys, one to Bowie’s car and one to his house. He had given them to me when he realized just how messed up my home life was. The keychain holding the keys though is what I’d forgotten all about. An elephant because somehow Bowie remembered that was my favorite animal. I’m not sure how because I remember the day I told him. It was the first time I saw him after our run in that day in the hallway.
Chapter 7
Hide and Seek
Bowie
It had been almost two weeks since my run in with Hollis and despite my best efforts I still hadn’t seen her again. It’s like she was hiding out from me for some unknown reason but the thing she didn’t realize was that I loved a good game of hide and seek. I would find her eventually because let’s face it those stormy gray eyes haunted me. In the meantime, I was finding out whatever I could about her which wasn’t a lot.
Lane had told me all she knew which just basics. Hollis was Hollis Foust, a sophomore and came from a really rough background. Apparently, she had a moment when she was the IT girl but it quickly vanished once the kids at school realized she wasn’t going to be following in her parent’s footsteps of dealing drugs. I found out a couple of other things from Jenny, the junior girl that worked in the main office. I turned on my James charm and I found out her class schedule and that she rode the bus to and from school, number nine to be exact.
So here I am planning my next run in since I finally know her schedule when I see the familiar blonde ponytail and an oversized t-shirt. Hollis was heading to the cafeteria. I hadn’t actually stepped foot inside our school's cafeteria. By the time I had gotten to high school Axell was already here. I just sat with him and his friends outside under a group of trees. There were a couple of tables under the trees as well. With the weather in California, it was easy to sit outside year round. Axell, Jagger and I normally ate out of the snack bar from the money we made working at the shop and racing. That explains why I never saw Hollis during lunch time. It never really dawned on me to check the cafeteria.
Selfishly, lunchtime was the one time of the day where I felt carefree, like a normal teenage boy. I got to sit around my friends and shoot the shit and all was right in the world. I didn’t have to worry about work. I didn’t have to worry about grades. I didn’t have to worry about my future. I didn’t have to worry about Mom and the cancer that was literally eating her up inside. I didn’t have to worry about dad not eating enough and smoking himself into oblivion. I didn’t have to worry about making sure Ace and Jovi were taken care of or that dinner was made or anything else. I was just Bowie who liked to joke around. I turn to Jagger and Harlyn, Jagger’s girlfriend, “I’ll see you guys at the trees, I got to go check on something.” Jagger gives me a curious look but doesn’t press the matter. Jagger always did have a sixth sense about him. He can read people pretty good and he knows when to press an issue and when not to.
I head off toward the cafeteria in search of Hollis. The overpowering smell of Lysol and the poorly cooked food hits my nose the minute I open the door. The dim lighting overhead does nothing to help the gloomy atmosphere inside. The cafeteria is loud with chatter coming from the lunch lines and the tables filled with students already. As I make my way through the room, I feel all eyes on me. I know this is a first but seriously it’s not that interesting. Then I spot the familiar blonde head again.
She’s waiting in the hamburger line so I take a spot in the back of the cafeteria and lean against the wall. I don’t know how no one notices Hollis because to me she’s captivating but as I scan the room I notice that no eyes are on her. I shake my head at how absurd that seems to me. Once Hollis gets her tray she turns in my direction and freezes. I smile at her but she seems to be uncertain about what to do. Finally, the person behind her nudges her and Hollis makes a beeline for the exit beside me, never acknowledging me. I step in front of her just before she reaches the door “Let me get this for you,” I tell her as I hold open the door for her to go through.
She studies me for a moment with weary and guarded eyes and I hate how someone so young and beautiful has been dealt a life that can make your eyes seem so much older, so jaded. Hollis sighs then walks through the door. I follow after her but after about ten steps she spins back around to me, “What are you doing here?”
“Having lunch,” I respond, by giving her my signature smile that seems to have no effect on her.
Hollis raising her eyebrows in question, “Really? You have no tray and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen you or either of your brothers ever step foot in the cafeteria.”
“Well yeah because it reeks in there,” I tell her. Hollis slides down the wall until her butt meets the floor then sits her tray in her lap. It’s then that I realize that this is where she sits at lunch. “Are your friends coming soon?”
Hollis scoffs at me, “Contrary to the James philosophy but believe it or not, not all of us have the popular card.” I take a seat beside her and I watch as her head whips up in my direction. “What are you doing?”
“Sitting down.”
Hollis rolls those gray eyes of hers, “Yeah, I can see that but why?”
I shrug, “Because I want to hang out with you.”
She takes a tiny bite of her burger then sighs, “No one wants to hang out with me.”
“That’s not true.” I watch as she continues to take tiny bites of her burger which, to be honest looks even worse than this place smells. I notice she doesn’t have a drink. “Where’s your drink?”
“It’s not covered… I mean I wasn’t thirsty,” she says, sounding flustered and shaking her head. I stand up and tell her I’m going to get us something to drink then run down to the snack bar but by the time I make it back Hollis is gone and I know there’s no way she finished the food she still had at least half a burger left when I head downstairs. I check the trash can and see an empty tray. Hollis is a mystery to me but she’s the one who makes me feel different. No one else has made my heart feel like it’s racing with just a look the way she does. Hollis is different for me.
****
Hollis
I was slowly making my way to the line of buses after the last bell of school rang. The guilt of leaving Bowie James hanging was weighing on me although I didn’t know why. It was no secret that the James brothers could basically get whoever they wanted. I’m sure that as soon as he came back upstairs, if he even came back, and realized I was gone that he had gone off and found a more suitable replacement. God, why did that thought sting even worse.
I knew why though. Despite my best efforts, I saw something in Bowie, in his eyes to be exact that made me feel like he could understand me. There was something lost, hurt and more than a little sad hidden in the depths of those cobalt blue eyes. The problem with that was Bowe would be a distraction and I couldn’t afford that. I couldn’t afford for someone to find out just how messed up my home life really is. If they did, then they could call the state and who knows where Alex would end up but I’m sure we’d be split up. No, I just had to make it a few more years. As soon as I was eighteen, I’d move out and find a small place for Alex and me.
It’s not like our parents would actually care if we’re not around just as long as they keep getting the government assistance checks every month, they can keep those. I’ve planned on getting a job as soon as I turn sixteen so I can start saving up money and help feed Alex and I. The thought of food makes my stomach grumble in hunger. You’d think my body would be adjusted to only eating one and a half meals by this time but it’s not. However, the hunger pains and everything else that comes along with it is worth it as long as Alex doesn’t have to feel them.
For the past few years, I’ve only had breakfast because I got it at school and half my lunch. I wrap the other half up and take it home for Alex to eat at night bec
ause you can never tell what will be in our fridge. The only guarantees in our house are beer, whiskey, and cocaine. I think of the cold hamburger and six fries I managed to save for Alex at lunch today and it makes me angry that my parents don’t care more. I’m so lost in my anger that I don’t even see him as he falls into step beside me.
“I’m beginning to think you’re favorite game is hide and seek,” Bowie comments. I look up at him and shake my head. Something must give me away because Bowie stops walking, grabs my shoulders and turns me to face him. “What’s wrong?”
I clear my throat which is thick with emotion. I’m usually good at swallowing my feelings but then again I don’t usually have to worry about talking to anyone aside from Alex and it’s easy to fool a seven-year-old most nights, “Nothing, just don’t want to miss my bus.”
Bowie shrugs, “If you do I’ll give you a ride home.”
“You can’t.”
He raises his eyebrows in question, “I can’t or you won’t let me?”
“Both. I have to go,” I tell him as I turn around and start to head for the buses again.
Bowie’s voice stops me, “Hollis?” I turn around and face him. “I got this during lunch for you. I know it’s not diet which is what most girls nag about but you sure as hell don’t need a diet soda.”
“I can’t take that Bowie,” I tell him as I eye up the bottle of soda he’s extending out to me.
Bowie sighs and I watch as his shoulders rise and fall. He stalks forward and before I can stop him he unzips my backpack. I know what he sees inside, half a burger and a few fries wrapped tightly in a napkin. My cheeks flame in embarrassment and tears sting the back of my eyes but Bowie barely misses a beat. He drops the soda in careful not to drop it on the food then zips my backpack up again. “Now go catch your bus,” I just nod but I can’t look him in the eye so as I make my way toward the bus I keep my head down until I hear him call my name again. I look up and I’m shocked not to see a judgmental look on his face. Instead, there is a heart-stopping grin on his face, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Force of Impact (The James Brothers Series Book 3) Page 4
