Torn Hearts

by M. E. Gordon

  Reality hit and I began to panic. I tried to look everywhere but in his eyes.

  Clearing his throat, he gained my attention again, but the whole situation was so hard to believe that I found my eyes wondering away from him again.

  “Eyes on me, Monroe.”

  I looked at him, dazed and terrified. But I turned away again, as shyness crept in. I was not a shy person. Why can’t I look at him? I know why. I’m afraid that I’ll never be able to look away.

  He leaned back over the bed and took my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look at him. “Take them off me again and you’re going to regret it,” he said, half smiling and half sneering at me.

  Standing up, he raised his hands and loosened the tie that was still around his neck, but left it so it hung loosely. Unbuttoning the few buttons that I wasn’t able to rip open, he slid his shirt apart. And that’s when I got my first glimpse of his hard muscular body up close. The moon light from the window made his tan skin glow. Dark hair was lightly dusted across his chest and down his abdomen and continued teasingly under his--

  I can’t take it anymore. I rushed from the bed to stand before him as my hand went up his chest and around his shoulders. Pushing the fabric of his shirt down and off his shoulders, my fingers traveled up his defined arms. My mouth went dry as I touched his chest. I stopped over an angry scar that went down right over his heart. The raised skin was the only imperfection I could find on his body. He inhaled deeply, hissing as I left kisses up and down the scar.

  The clasp of my bra released, and we both watched as it fell to the floor. His hand made contact and cupped my breast. My head fell back, and the moan I had been holding in escaped my lips.

  He took me back over to the bed, stepping away from me again. Doesn’t he realize I appreciate the whole strip tease, but let’s face it, it’s a tease and I need more--now.

  “Get on the bed and lay down.” There was no sound of jovialness in his voice. His expression was stone cold and serious.

  I stood there slightly confused, questioning his request.

  “I said get on the bed and lay down.”

  Really? He’s bossing me around? Doesn’t he know yet that that doesn’t work for me, the whole being told what to do and all?

  I shook my head and I crossed my arms defiantly. “No.”

  “Stubborn woman, you really don’t know what’s good for you. You see, I do. I know exactly what’s good for you and do you know what that is, Miss Monroe?” He paused as I shook my head no at his question. “It’s you lying down on that bed so I can fuck you all the way to tomorrow.”

  Without even realizing it, I backed up and got on the bed.

  “Good Choice,” he said, moving to crawl over top of me.

  His large frame made me feel small beneath him. Taking my hands, he pinned them above my head. Letting go of control wasn’t hard anymore, I quickly embraced the way he took control of me, silently praying he made good on his previous statement.

  Good God, I was going to lose it. I watched as he took each of my nipples tenderly between his lips. Involuntarily my hips moved up to meet his. How is it possible that he still has pants on? He was going to torture me all night. I could see it already, but I think I’m going to like it.

  I kept watching as he kissed his way down my stomach. Automatically, I sucked it in, not wanting to appear flabby against his rock hard body. Stilling, he looked up at me. A sly smile turned his lips up at me before continuing on.

  Tracing my lacey boy shorts with his fingers he slipped them off smoothly, down my hips, past my thighs, around my knees, and finally over my ankles and off my feet. Kissing the tips of my big toes, his hands slid slowly down the inside of my legs, pushing them apart. Warm fingers ran over my core. Oh my God!

  Arching off the bed and closing my eyes the moment his fingers entered me, I instantly felt a tightness building up. The unexpected velvety feeling circling my core was an amazing surprise. Damn, if he doesn’t know exactly what is good for me.

  His tongue slid between my folds slowly, his fingers still moving rhythmically inside of me. I couldn’t help what came next even if I’d wanted to. Heat radiated from my core, release was just around the corner.

  “Come for me, give me what I want.” Spencer’s deep voice vibrated through me as he beckoned for my release.

  I lost it, everything. Self-control, self-awareness, it all went out the window as I called his name begging him not to stop. Moving with me as my hips flexed off the bed, he continued until he felt the last ripple run through my body. I lay there, panting, as I watched him stand from the bed. He still had his pants on? Not for long.

  The first glimpse of him was everything I had hoped it would be. I watched as he slid a condom over himself. Heat pooled between my legs again and I was ready for more. Crawling back on the bed, not taking his eyes off mine, he slowly made his way over me and finally in me. Oh, this shouldn’t feel this good. I was tight around him, the perfect mixture of pain and pleasure.

  Kissing my chin, he pushed even deeper. I reached up and grabbed a fist full of black hair from the back of his head and pulled him down over me. My hands ran up and down his back, feeling the curve of his body as he moved above me. Again my insides burned with the promise of a sweet release.

  Once my eyes locked on to his, I couldn’t tear them away. I tried to wait longer because I didn’t want him to move off of me. Heaven help me, I didn’t want him to go anywhere. Gripping on tighter to his arms, my fingers dug into his skin as I came undone for a second time. Taking my cries in a kiss, he growled back seconds later as he moved faster in me.

  He supported himself on his elbows, his weight pressing me down into the mattress. And I loved it. I loved the way it felt to have him on top of me. I didn’t want him to move, not for anything. Kissing my lips softly, he pulled out and moved from over top of me. I curled into the pocket of his arm and ran my fingers over his damp chest.

  “Stay with me,” he asked, kissing my forehead.

  Well I certainly wasn’t going to say no to him after all that. Reaching up, I gave my answer with a kiss.

  I took advantage of the quiet moment between us and caressed his face, making sure to take in every inch of it. Examining him for the first time, no secret notes, stolen glances, I didn’t have to worry about getting caught so I took my time and really studied him.

  I started at his forehead, ran my fingers through his hair. It was soft and thick. My fingers got lost in it and it smelled as good as it looked, all messy and wild. My thumb ran over his thick eyebrow and down his strong cheek bones. The bridge of his nose had a slight curve to it like it had been broken once before. His eye lashes were thick and black as night. He had a small scar on his right eye, hidden conveniently in his smile lines. You wouldn’t know it was there unless you were close up on it. Another small scar lay on the left side of his upper lip. I wanted to know what happened to him, why each scar was there. I wanted to learn everything I could about the mystery man that was Spencer Salvatore. But for now, I was content with the silence. The way we argued back and forth, silence was golden.

  My finger stilled over the small scar on his lip. Parting them, he caught my finger between his lips. His tongue licked the underside of my finger seductively. Releasing it, he tugged me up off the bed and, before I knew it, he had moved under me. Laying his hands on either hip, he stared up at me. I leaned over him, kissing him deeper as his hands ran down my thighs and back up to my hips.

  This could be trouble. I wasn’t good on top. Please don’t let me mess this up with all my insecurities. His hands moved from my hips, spread across my stomach, and up between my chest. The instant he did it, I sucked in and sat as straight as I could. The longer I make my body, the less frumpy it will appear. Taking his hands off me the minute I did, he placed them casually behind his head. He cocked a smile at me and I felt a heat rush to my face.

  What is he doing? I averted my eyes from him. I don’t want to see his face. I’m sure he’s
disgusted at how I look on top of him.

  I waited for him to move me off but he didn’t.

  “Elizabeth, eyes,” he said in a deep seductive voice.

  I looked back down at him, feeling insignificant.

  “Why do you do that?” he asked, adjusting the hands that were behind his head. The muscles flexed in his arm with each move he made and I was finding it hard to do anything but stare down at him, until I realized what he had just asked me.

  No shit, he is calling me out!

  “Do what?” I responded, trying to sound clueless.

  “You know what. Don’t do it again.”

  His voice was stern and sexy as hell but--

  “Excuse me?” I said, crossing my arms defiantly. I hate being told what to do! When will he catch on to that?

  “Don’t do it again. You wouldn’t be here right now if I didn’t think every inch of you was perfect. Do you understand me?”

  No I don’t. My doubting self would probably never understand what he saw in me. I stared down at the perfect specimen below me, and it was ridiculous how much it was messing with my head. I didn’t understand why he would want me, so I shook my head and buried my hands in my hair, hiding my face from him.

  Sitting up abruptly, he engulfed me in his long arms. His hands moved mine, pulling my hair together and letting it fall over my back. He held a hand to my cheek as he spoke. “You are perfect to me, and you better not forget it.”

  I stared in his eyes, in true disbelief. “I--I’m not--”I stuttered.

  “Shut up, Monroe, just shut up. Don’t fight me on this because I’m right tonight and you’re wrong. Get over it.”

  He kissed my lips then lay back down on the bed, his hands going behind his head again. I was really speechless. This rarely happens to me. So I did what felt like the natural thing to do after someone tells you that. I adjusted myself over him, rolling my hips to take him in fully. Who knew? Spencer without a condom is even better.

  I relaxed on him. Moving on him, without worrying what I looked like, gave me a chance to enjoy being on top. Previously I had avoided it like the plague but with Spencer I was able to put my insecurities aside for the first time and just be in the moment with him, or moments in our case.

  Chapter 22

  I woke up not sure of my surroundings. Taking a second to look around I felt an arm pull me closer, and a very hard erection push against my back. Holy Shit, I slept with Spencer. I slept with him and it was everything that I had ever imagined--and more.

  The clock on the nightstand read eleven-forty-eight a.m. We had fallen into a deep sleep. Hell, we needed it after the night we just had. Keeping still so as not to wake him, I took the chance I didn’t get last night to really examine the room around me.

  There were no pictures hanging on the walls or anything personal. Except for the one and only picture frame that sat on the night stand. A young woman hugged a dark-haired, blue-eyed little boy. Spencer and his mother had the same blue eyes and tan skin. They looked truly happy in the photo.

  Was this the last time he was truly happy? The picture was taken in New York. I’d know that backdrop anywhere. Turning my head slightly in the other direction, I saw the bathroom across the room. Once I saw it, I magically had to pee. Damn, I don’t want to move, but if I don’t get up, I might really embarrass myself.

  I held up his arm, feeling the true weight of it as he continued to sleep. I wiggled out from his grasp and watched as he rolled over to lie on his back. Sitting up, I took the sheet off my legs and let my feet find the hardwood floor beneath them. Giving Spencer one last look, I giggled like a school girl as I watched him adjust himself under the covers. The simple action of him touching himself had me heating up again. Grabbing his shirt from the floor, I slipped it on. Attempting to button it, I quickly remembered that I couldn’t because all the buttons were all over the floor. Oh well.

  Quietly, I closed the door to the bathroom and turned the light on. When I finished, I took the time to snoop around. There was the usual toothbrush, comb, soap, and that intoxicating cologne he always wore.

  Hearing Spencer stir in the bed, I made my way out of the bathroom. He was sitting up, his back leaning on the head board, his arms crossed over his bare chest, the sheet loosely over his waist.

  “Hey,” I said, holding the cuffs of his shirt in my hands.

  “Nice shirt. I think you’re missing a few buttons there,” he said, eyeing me up and down.

  “Well this crazy, wanna be playboy stalker ripped my favorite dress, I had to do something in retaliation.” I said tilting my head innocently.

  “Well, that crazy, wanna be playboy stalker thinks it looks better ripped up on his floor.”

  I crossed my arms and pouted at that. “Jokes aside, that really was my favorite dress you ripped.”

  “Like I said, it looks better on the floor.”

  Walking over to the bed, I hit his shoulder. “So you didn’t like my dress?” I asked, straddling his waist.

  “I like you naked. Besides, doesn’t it look good down there?” He leaned over to get a look at the scraps of my dress.

  “It was expensive. I would have liked to at least gotten my money’s worth, before it went to rags,” I said, placing my hands on my hips.

  Running his fingers over the collar of his shirt, he smirked up at me. “I’m pretty sure you got your money’s worth last night,” he said, pulling me closer to kiss my neck.

  Last night was--I abruptly came out of my little fantasy as reality once again ruined things between us. Shit my brothers and Gia probably think I’m dead. Sitting back from him, and taking him off guard, I went to move from his lap.

  “I have to go,” I said, panicking.

  “What? Why?” he asked, gripping my waist so I couldn’t move off of him.

  “My brothers and Gia. I have to call them. They’re probably looking for me.”

  I tried to wiggle but it was pointless.

  “Elizabeth. They know you’re with me.”

  A wave of relief washed over me. “Wait. How did you--”

  “I sent a message to Charles while we were in the elevator.” He rubbed my hips seductively and licked his lips.

  That was a panty-wetting look if I ever saw one! Good thing I don’t have any on.

  “Well, don’t you just think of everything?”

  “I do, and now that you’re with me, I can concentrate on even more.”

  Wait a minute. With him.

  I had mind blowing sex last night but I didn’t remember making this official. I still needed to talk to Simon, at the very least he deserved--he deserved someone better than me. That was what this all boiled down to. I had turned into the one thing I used to despise, a careless, thoughtless, wishy-washy, Barbie and a slutty one at that. Everything had felt so good in the moment, but I was drunk and not thinking. What am I going to say to Simon? Fuck, what am I going to say to Spencer?

  Go figure, at that exact moment my phone started ringing from my clutch bag, which was somewhere on the floor. Spencer shot death rays at me as I got off of him and went to search for my bag. Once I found it, it began ringing again. Pulling it out I nearly cried. It was Simon. I wasn’t going to answer, but I needed to get out of there. I shoved it back in my bag and looked over at Spencer who was shaking his head and laughing. He looked a little crazy, as if he had missed a couple of shock treatments at the mental institute. Needless to say, I was terrified at what had yet to come.

  “Spencer I--”

  “Don’t,” he said, sighing and holding his hand up. “Don’t even start with the excuses. You chose to be here with me. Why the fuck do you keep doing this to me if you’re in love with him?” he roared, slamming his fist into the mattress.

  “I don’t know if I’m in love with him--”

  Cutting me off, he stood from the bed, and his deep voice shook the walls as he spoke. “Now!” he spit, as he moved closer to me. “Choose now!” he growled.

  “I can’t,” I sai
d back as sternly as I could.

  “You can’t or you won’t?” Taking a step back, he turned from me shoving his hands through his tousled hair, the muscles in his back flexed, and I nearly went knees to the floor.

  “You can’t have us both, Elizabeth. You either stay with me, be with only me, love only me--or fucking leave.”

  His words were raw and savage as he turned back to face me. I couldn’t talk, so I simply stared up at him. This isn’t happening, is it? Things were perfect five minutes ago, now everything is just wrong. It’s all wrong.

  Coming quickly toward me, he grabbed my upper arms, taking me to lie down on the bed. He stared into my eyes before running his hand up the inside of my thigh. Two fingers slid deep inside me. Who was I kidding? Just seeing him made me aroused and arguing with him only made it worse.

  “Can you honestly tell me you feel this when you’re with him?” he asked, talking hoarsely in my ear.

  My heart raced and my body betrayed me as I softened at his touch. Forcing his fingers in and out of me, he rubbed his thumb magically over me as he kissed my neck, breasts, and finally my lips. Crying out from the pleasure that I couldn’t fight, I grasped at his arm and called out his name. He knew exactly what he was doing and what my body craved. Abruptly taking his fingers from within me he showed them to me, glistening in the mid-morning light. Then he ran his glistening fingers over my lips, before taking it all back in a kiss.

  I held his face in my hands and stared into his eyes. Rage and passion filled my veins, and I didn’t know whether to slap him or kiss him back. Not like this. He wasn’t going to force me to pick him. Simon would be home in one day. He was going to have to wait one day.