It was amazing. Every time we kissed I never expected to feel different but I went into sensory overload. Each time our lips met, her hands moved or I felt her move against me, I went even crazier.
“Come on,” I said, tugging on her hand, breaking our kiss.
I wanted her to come inside with me. This was the first time I’d ever done anything like this. Committing to someone had always seemed like an impossible thing but I was doing it. The fear was still there but it was surpassed by excitement.
I led her to the bed, sitting her down and standing over her. I kept her eyes on mine until I started to untie my robe. I smiled as she swallowed and I let the belt fall open, the terry cloth sliding apart to show the middle of my body.
I grabbed the sides of the robe and pulled them back and over my shoulders until it fell. I let it go and stood there, naked in front of her. “Yours.”
I watched her eyes dip down to her robe. Both her hands were on her belt, slowly untying it. Once she was done she did the sweetest thing. She pulled the robe down off her shoulders but kept her arms around her center so her robe was still on.
When she looked up at me I could tell she was scared. “Yours,” she smiled nervously, I saw tears hanging in her eyes as her gaze fell shyly back down to look at her own hands.
I reached out, taking her hand, pulling it away from her robe and waiting until she looked up. “Vi,” I said. Her eyes were so open. For once I knew how it felt to desperately want to take care of someone out of pure love. “It’s okay.”
I moved to the bed and got on, drawing myself up to the headboard and pulling the covers down to where she was sitting. “Nothing has to happen if you don’t want it to. I’d be happy just having you here.”
“I want you so much I don’t even know where to begin,” she stared at me openly, such a serious look on her face. To her, everything seemed so dire.
I laughed, feeling bad that she might think I was making fun of her. “I’m sorry. I’ll just never get it. Why you want me? But I accept it. You can start wherever you want but you better do it quick because just looking at you makes me kind of, you know.”
“What?” She asked, smiling over at me, knowing full well but wanting me to say it. She still had her robe around her, she was still covered, and somehow that drove me insane.
“This isn’t fair. I’m at a disadvantage.” I couldn’t tell her how much she turned me on. Just by being near me. Every time I’d seen her after we kissed for the first time. The clothes she wore, the surety in her demeanor, they were hot.
“I’m not undressing myself,” she said. I watched her move to lie down beside me on her back. Her breathing was shaky but I think she was waiting for me to touch her.
“Allow me,” I said, reaching over and taking care to drag the fabric of the robe over her skin until she was exposed on one side. Then, I repeated the process with the other, enjoying the tiny sound she let out when my fingers grazed her nipple. She was breathing so hard I could see her whole body moving and I hadn’t even done anything.
“Touch me,” she begged. Her eyes shut up tight. “Please,” she whispered.
I moved closer, scooting so that I was over her. Now, I knew what she meant. I didn’t know what to do, where to let my hands go. I knew where I wanted to touch her and that was everywhere. I had to start. She was ready.
With my right hand, I reached down. Starting with her knee I grazed my fingers along her skin, up to her inner thigh and then around her hip. She squirmed under my touch, inhaled a sharp breath. Her chest rose and fell as she tried to contain her attraction.
I switched my hand around, palming her stomach and pushing my fingers up between her breasts and around her neck. She was mine. I lowered my head, taking one of her nipples in my mouth. I wanted to know what she tasted like. I’d only gotten to kiss her mouth till now.
“Uhh—” She whined, her hands coming up into my hair and tugging as her knee slid up out of desperation and hit the side of me. Her heel dropped down on the small of my back, holding me to her as her back naturally arched.
Her reactions were killing me. I just wanted to go so fast but I was enjoying this. Not sure which would win, I switched to her other nipple, releasing the left one with a pop. She pressed me down and I smiled into her skin, sliding my lips down her body until I was at her waist.
This was it. We both wanted it and I couldn’t keep stopping myself from having her. Even if it turned out badly, even if she ended up hating me. I was going to enjoy the fall.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Olivia
I don’t know how we got here. One minute I was taking a shower and the next Avery was insisting that she loved me. That she wanted me, wanted this.
Something changed in me the second I had to start thinking that this could really be real.
Then she was standing before me completely naked and waiting, all eyes on me, all eyes waiting.
I wanted her but I didn't know how.
Any other day I would’ve just charged at her and slammed her against a wall but she had me in this odd space. I just really needed to make sure she wasn’t bluffing.
I laid down on the bed and begged her to touch me.
When she did I felt that panic but also that thrill.
She was so close but too far away.
I shut my eyes tight but still I could feel her staring. Avery always stared too long. She always saw more than I wanted her to see.
Before I knew what was happening she’d slid up my body and licked my erect nipple up into her mouth.
I let out a cry, my fingers scratching her scalp and tugging at her hair as I pushed her with the pressure, warning her that I was sensitive and she should go slow.
She shifted a bit. I felt her lips on my skin dragging down.
“No, no, no, no, no,” I whined, using my hands to tug at her armpits and pull her back up.
“What’s wrong?” She asked, smiling but uncertain.
“You’ll kill me,” I said, locking my eyes with hers and staring down at her lips. If she touched me there right now I’d instantly gush. How pathetic would that be? How sad a creature am I? I didn’t want it to be over so soon.
Her naked body hovered over mine but I wanted her on me. I took my hand to her neck and led her up to kiss me again. As if knowing what I craved, she let her naked body fall ontop of mine and I gasped in her mouth, shutting my eyes tight as I kissed her. She smiled into me, pushing her thumb down into my hip and feeling me gasp again.
“You okay?” She was probably worried about me. I was making an awful lot of noise and I couldn’t help it.
“Nope,” I barely squeaked.
“You want me to stop?” She asked sweetly.
“No,” I said, running my hand farther up into her hair and twisting as I pulled her down into me and wrapped my leg around her again.
Everything she did was fantastic. I couldn’t stop holding her body to mine or breathing like I’d just run a marathon or swam a large sea.
I had to do something though; she couldn’t be the only one doing the pleasing.
I felt myself rolling her over until I had her flat on her back and I was straddling her. I pulled myself to sit up on her, allowing myself to stare. “You’re beautiful,” I said, nearly mad at her for it and shaking my head. My eyes flickered as they so often did when I looked at her. It was always too hard for me to let myself see. She always shook me up inside.
I ran my hand down her body, from her neck down between her breasts only stopping when I came to my center. I ran it carefully up my own thigh, avoiding the space in question in her and in me.
“So, you want me for my hot bod,” she joked, cringing right after she said it.
“You’re stupid,” I teased a laugh. If she actually thought that, I may as well murder her.
I took her hands in mine, sliding them back above her head, trapping them down above her as I kissed her hungrily making sure she couldn’t touch me since I knew I couldn’t take i
t at all.
Her body was beautiful but I knew that wasn’t all I loved about her so I hated her thought and took it out on her in a deep hungry kiss.
I could feel my wet center as it rubbed on her toned stomach. As much as she wanted to be funny her body was sort of a palace.
My knees moved up at her sides as I kissed her. I felt myself having to push myself away from her as I moaned from just the taste of her tongue in my mouth and from her own fighting to have me and taste me.
Knowing Avery she could turn the tides at any point.
She was being nice, letting me play. I knew it wouldn’t last long.
I was a runt and she was an alpha. Any thought to the contrary was just fucking laughable.
I liked her like this though. Moving on top of her just felt more than right.
She pulled at me playfully and I fought away. My center hit down on hers and I accidentally moved my hands to her chest, holding myself up and trying to recover from the impact as I hissed in both pain and intense pleasure, my eyes entirely locked on hers as we played.
It was like I was riding her only not. She moved and I’d felt it too much. I don't know if she knew.
“I want you to touch me here.”
I was too slow for her apparently.
She took my hand from her chest and pushed it down, just as I regained enough leverage to lift up. My fingers were under her guidance until I felt her wetness and she released my hand.
“OhMyGod,” I let out, my eyes clenching tight as I felt her. The feeling was: yes.
She’d forced me to see, it wasn’t just me. I let my fingers slide down and then up. She felt so amazing I didn’t know quite what to say.
But then I felt her fingers come back to my wrist and close around it. The pressure she placed, it pushed my fingers just a little bit further down until they slid effortlessly inside of her and she gasped.
My eyes sprang open as I looked down to watch her react, my mouth hanging open. Beneath me, she seemed free like she wasn’t holding anything back.
I let my fingers slide out and felt attacked when her eyes slowly opened and she was staring right at me again.
I let out a gasp and she flipped me.
Just as I thought, she was very very strong.
“I caught you,” she smiled.
I was so taken I couldn’t breathe.
The next thing I knew she was in me and I cried out, eyes closing tight. I felt her face dip down by my ear. “I’ve been wanting to do that for so long,” she whispered. I felt my hands pulling her body down on top of me, clutching her to me as she pulled out of me slowly and carefully pushed two fingers back inside, pushing her body up on mine and trapping me down.
Either she didn’t want me to touch her or she wanted to touch me first. Either way I knew I wouldn't last long. She was doing it slow like she knew that’s all it would take with me.
We hadn’t talked about this at all, about what I liked and what I didn’t. With Nat it was always like a storm. This was different.
Avery was taking care with me. I heard her breathing as she slowly pushed inside me again.
“Should I stop?” She asked sweetly.
“No,” I begged. She was definitely too good.
“Is this okay? Should I do something different?” She asked, pushing slowly inside me again and hissing at the feel of my tight walls closing around her fingers. I thought of the other day, us together on the piano bench.
I couldn’t speak; I let out a moan I couldn’t control.
My hands were holding at her shoulders as her body pushed into mine again. Just the feel of her body on mine was enough to tear me apart. Thinking about other things I couldn’t control. That was the hardest part. What if this would be the only time?
That thought scared me most.
It made me cherish her touch as I felt her fingers inside me again; I felt my eyes go into darkness, my mind emptying as nothing but light seemed to shine through.
All of a sudden I couldn’t breathe.
She’d come out of me slow and she was pushing back into me one last time.
She’d been so soft and slow that all I felt was pure pleasure until the moment I saw nothing and disappeared off into space for what felt like several minutes at a time.
I probably shook. I probably screamed.
Truth is I couldn’t really say because I was feeling too much to register anything other than the pleasure that she caused.
When she finally pulled herself out of me I felt my hands groping for her face and then my lips finding hers.
I was whimpering now as I kissed her feverishly, gratefully. I’d never been fucked like that. She was so gentle. So sweet.
“I love you,” I said, not even knowing I was doing it. “I love you,” I kept kissing her, kept on saying it. Every piece of me fell away yet I ached for her tragically.
“I know,” she chuckled sweetly, pushing me back and trying to get me to slow.
“You can’t,” I said, pulling myself together just enough to try and make sense.
“Can’t what?” She smiled.
“Can’t know how much,” I confessed. There was no way for her to possibly know.
I spun her over and kissed her. I wanted to show her how much.
As soon as I pushed her over onto her back I felt her gasp in my mouth. Beside myself, I smiled.
She was so good. I couldn’t stand it. I loved it too much. Everything about her was golden.
A storm took over me. I felt I could never touch her enough, never show her enough, never be enough, not like she did with me. Panicked, I kissed her fervently only slowing when I’d realized I was being crazy and possibly scaring her.
She helped me to slow down. I felt her hands squeeze mine and her lips trap mine as she led me to calm. The smell of the water from the shower on her skin filled me up as I came to calm, resting my eyes in the crook of her neck and breathing loudly.
My body relaxed on top of hers, my leg falling between hers. It was like we were two pieces of a puzzle only no matter how we fell, or where we were placed, we fit so well it astounded me, stealing my breath away.
I moved my lips away and let out a long gasp as my left hand came down to run itself along her stomach so I could brace myself and try to calm down. I felt her beneath me now, felt how debilitating it was to have her right there.
This was everything.
“You're too good at this,” she said.
I felt a smile tickle my lips as I dragged them up her skin and pushed up on her body so that I could look at her.
“Uh-uh,” I said, staring down at her in awe. “I can’t even slightly touch you without feeling a million wonderful things.”
I sighed, dropping my lips back down on her neck again and breathing. It was too hard to have strength when she was stealing it constantly without meaning to, the accidental thief.
I found her hand, laced our fingers and squeezed.
“You don’t mean to be but you’re powerful Avery.”
God. And she’d even been so delicate with me.
She nudged me so I’d have to see her. When I did look I saw amazement awaken in her eyes. "How,” she asked sweetly. “You're the strong one. The amazing one."
I stared back, my breath leaving me as I took my hand back and ran it along her forehead and her cheek.
“Only you could think something like that,” I said seriously. No one ever thought of me as strong. Bitchy maybe. Never strong.
Amazing was a very interesting word. I was smart for my pond. In the big leagues I was probably very underwhelming and average.
I had to stop and wonder if maybe she was just talking about sex.
My feelings for her, now they were strong.
“Unlike you, I’ve never had to be strong for anyone except myself.” I wasn’t like her. I didn’t take care of people and didn’t try. I had no siblings and most of my life consisted of me trying to get my parents to let me be me.
My life was no tra
gedy. Was it messy? Yes. Unkind? Definitely.
But I was spoiled all the while and being forced to compete with only myself.
I mean it is true that I’d be completely different if my parents hadn’t forced my hand. But there’s only so much I can blame them for before realizing I was a child and I had given up fighting back when I was very young.
At any given time I could’ve screamed or protested. I could’ve refused to do things. I could’ve run away and become someone else. No remorse. No change of heart.
Avery couldn’t do that. She was strong. She would never even think that.
In a way I was a stranger all the time, living someplace I never fit.
Avery couldn’t know that. Avery couldn’t understand.
I’ve never had someone before, someone I really wanted to be good for.
To me, this didn’t happen.
“You’re strong for me,” she said.
“How do you do that?” I asked, completely frustrated by her. No wonder I cared.
“Do what?” A small smile tucked up on her lips.
“You hear my thoughts or something. Read my mind.”
“So you think you’re strong for me?”
“No, well. Maybe. But that’s not the point.” She frustrated me so much. “I was thinking just now. Thinking is solitary. When I do that though you always say something like you’re hearing my thoughts.”
It should be creepy. Instead it’s kind of nice.
“I dunno,” she said.
I let out a sigh and fell down into her, hugging her. In the game of right and nice, I couldn’t compete.
Surrender. I needed to do that.
I breathed her in unmercifully taking care to drag my bottom lip on her skin.
“I hate you for being so good,” I said, my hand rubbing her neck as I allowed my nails to scratch at her scalp.
“I’m not good,” she said darkly, annoying me in every single way.
“Don’t lie,” I whispered softly. When she spoke like that she zapped me of my strength.
I couldn’t fight off her demons. I sadly, was not allowed.
Paper Dolls, Book One Page 20
