Heart Of Stone

by Lace, Lolah

“No, I used a car service. Are you concerned for my personal safety?”

  “No, for every other pedestrian and driver but not for you.”

  “Pretty girl, show me some love.”

  “How about I show you the door.”

  “I’m not going anywhere, not until I twist your long legs into pretzels and fuck you in the ass.”

  “Keep it down. Alex is sleep.”

  “Sorry.” He whispered.

  “Why are you drinking? What is wrong with you?”

  “I’m celebrating fatherhood. I got a Black baby mama. How bout dat!”

  UGH! “Shut the fuck up. How bout dat.”

  I noticed that we were both walking in circles around my couch. He was slowly chasing me and I was deliberately evading him. We had gone around that couch at least six times before I realized what was going on.

  “Kelby, why are you running from me? You love my cock.”

  Dammit! That was true. Having it last night was just a reminder of the times we spent together. Why was he so good in bed and such an asshole out of bed?

  “Are you still my whore?”

  “Hell no.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’m a mother.”

  “You can be a whore and a mom.” Tonio leapt over the couch like he was a world class Olympic hurdler. He clamped his body onto mine. He was so graceful and fast, even in this inebriated state. I couldn’t leap over a couch. I would’ve fallen and busted my head wide open— right to the white meat.

  “Tonio, its time for you to be my whore.” Did I just say that? Uh yep!

  Tonio stopped kissing my neck to gaze at me. “I can do that.”

  Really? “Good. Get your drunk, nasty ass in my bedroom and take off your clothes.” I wasn’t sure who the hell I was right now.

  He took a step back to regard me carefully. Surprisingly he obeyed my command. He sauntered off and down the hall. That was simple. I waited a minute and followed behind him. I checked in on Alex first. He was sleeping peacefully at this late hour. I had such a good baby.

  What am I doing? Why am I letting Tonio lure me back in? Maybe I’m just having fun. Tonio is leaving the country soon. I just don’t know how soon. It’s not going to hurt anybody. We’re already attached in a weird way.

  When I entered my bedroom he was completely naked and sprawled out on top of my bed. The lights were bright and I went over to the dimmer switch and twisted the knob.

  “Don’t, I want to see your body.”

  I turned the lights back up a bit but not as bright as they could be. I started my slow and careful strip tease. It was nothing fancy but Tonio’s mouth hung open and his dick was pointed at the ceiling.

  Tonio made me feel sexy. He made me feel like sex. No one had ever done that before. He metaphorically drooled over me and I never got that reaction from any of my exes.

  “Pretty girl don’t torture me.” He begged.

  I crawled on the bed and placed my body in between his legs. I loved looking down on him. Reversing roles made me feel empowered. I placed his hard swollen dick in the palm of my hand and admired it. Looking at his thickness from the outside of my body was just as impressive as feeling it inside me. I straddled him. I was the one in control.

  “Is this for me?”

  “Yes.” He exhaled as I lowered myself down onto him. “Oh god.” He moaned out and I pressed down as far as I could go. Tonio filled me up. I rolled my hips down and around. I slowly bounced down on his stiffness. He watched me as I ground myself down on him. Holding my hips he guided my body for his pleasure. My desire was perfectly entwined with his. We were in sync and it was insanely difficult to keep my composure.

  “Yes, you are wetter than I remember.” He managed to excite me further with his words.

  “I’m always wet for you.”

  He shut his eyes and closed them. “Your tits are leaking.”

  “They are.” I rubbed my breast gently so the milk wouldn’t leak more than it already had.

  “I have to taste mommy’s milk.” Tonio took one of my breast in the palm of his hand. “Come.”

  I leaned down and let my breast graze his face. My nipples hovered over his mouth and he latched on to one. He licked my nipple first and then he wrapped his lip around my nipple and sucked my breast into his mouth. He sucked and sucked. I felt the warmth escape my body and coat his throat. He swallowed my milk and didn’t choke as it filled his mouth.

  Tonio was sexually nasty. He was the person I wanted to be if I wasn’t so afraid of what people would think. I could be the real me when I was with him. When he was done drinking from me. He rammed himself faster inside me from underneath. He was moving so hard and fast my knees had lifted off the bed.

  “Is this the best cock you ever had?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you love me?” This love-lie meant something to him. So I complied.

  “Yes. I love you Antonio Lambrusco.” It felt like I said that sentence too many times to count. “Do you love me?”

  He hesitated. I wasn’t going to let him off that easy. I rolled my hips down hard on his dick. He was looking at me but he wouldn’t say it.

  “Antonio. Tell me you love me.” I rolled my hips again.

  “Fuck!” He huffed.

  “Shhh! Tell me now.” He frowned and his forehead creased. I can tell this stupid lie but he can’t. I lifted my bottom up and his ignorant ass grabbed me by the waist and pushed me back down on his defiant dick. Seriously?

  I hauled off and slapped him as hard as I could across his cheek. “Say it!”

  “Shit! My face.”

  “Fuck your face! Say it!” I slapped him again, right across his twenty million a picture face.

  “What the fuck?” He quickly grabbed both of my wrists and locked them down on his chest. It was cool. I started rocking back and forth over his dick. Nothing frantic, just meaningful deep rocking chair movements. Moves that I was sure would make his toes curl.

  “Tonio.”

  “Yes.”

  “Say it.”

  “Fuck yeah, I love you Kelby. Shit.”

  I quickened my pace and added a deep roll to my rocking hips. I closed my eyes and worked for my orgasm. Tonio was so much better than a vibrator. I was going to get mine. I quaked all over him and he came inside me. He squeezed my wrists so tight they burned. I collapsed down on his chest and he was so still I could hear his heart beating in tandem with mine.

  God help me. Tonio has to go. I can’t have him here. I will be spitting baby Lambrusco’s out in forty weeks— and ain’t nobody got time for that.

  CHAPTER 6

  KELBY

  Things went from strange to stranger. Tonio stayed over at my place for the next two days. We were getting along. There wasn’t any bickering or hostility. But there was a lot of sex. He did what he called father-son bonding. It basically consisted of all the things I do on a regular basis. He was surprisingly good at changing pampers. Alex seemed to take to him. He was a good baby but he was on his best behavior with Tonio around.

  Things didn’t get too heavy or too deep. This casual version of Tonio was new and refreshing. I was afraid to ask him too many questions. I liked the fact that we were getting along. I enjoyed that he was staying with me, in my place.

  Just like he promised, there was a bright shiny new SUV delivered to my condo. I went with the Mercedes because it was prettier. I didn’t know much about cars. There was even a baby car seat inside the Black truck when it arrived.

  It felt good to wake up next to a man, this man. I didn’t want to get too attached. I learned my lesson the first time. After lunch, we sat in the living room. Alex was napping on my lap while Tonio talked on his cell phone. We started out watching TV but his phone rang a lot. I couldn’t help but eavesdrop. I don’t think that he cared. If he did he would’ve just got up and went into another room. He had made himself very familiar with my place. He sat next to me so I listened.

  “I’m going to make it to Dubai�
��If they’re going to start filming in Adu Dhadi. I’m going to go to Adu Dhabi. It doesn’t matter to me. I’ll follow all the producers’ rules… I’m not registered at any hotels because I’m not staying at any hotels…I appreciate the concern but I’ve been an adult for awhile now… Later, I will talk about that later.” Tonio gazed down at Alex asleep in my arms. “I will give you a call later.” Tonio ended his call and placed his cell on the couch beside him.

  “Who was that?” I was comfortable enough to ask.

  “Harry, you remember Harry?”

  “Yes, he’s like your mother.”

  “Very much so.” He rubbed the straight blonde hair on Alex’s head. “I think we should go for a drive.”

  “Where?”

  “Just get dressed. Pack up Alex and let’s just hit the road.”

  I was good I had a work-from-home customer service job. I made my own hours and this helped me be there for Alex. It also gave me the time I needed to be with Tonio. He never told me to quit my job but the child support and expense money was more than enough for a person like me to live off of.

  We were going out. I tried to contain my excitement. I had only been inside with Tonio. He was acting like a boyfriend. This could be considered a date but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I should just let myself enjoy this time with him. When he leaves I can just deal with the loss. But right now I could just fall for him all over again. Not as deeply as before, but a small piece of the happiness I felt the first time was more than enough.

  After thirty minutes we were in my new truck. Alex was strapped into the infant car seat in the back. I was seated in the passenger seat. Tonio was driving us somewhere and it felt good to be out with him like this. I waited a few minutes before I decided to make conversation.

  ***

  TONIO

  “Where are we going?”

  I knew she was going to ask me again. “To Daniel’s place in Willow Springs.”

  “I didn’t know you had a brother.”

  I didn’t remember if I mentioned it to her back in our John-escort days. We didn’t do all that much talking. Besides, it was a well-kept secret. I always protected my family from my life in the spotlight.

  “Daniel, he’s a half-brother. We have the same father.”

  “I didn’t know that.”

  “You didn’t Google search me after our first or last encounter.”

  “I didn’t.” She was lying. Everybody checks everybody out nowadays.

  “Why not?”

  “I didn’t want to know anything bad. You told me you were done with me.”

  I glanced over at her. She was still pissed about what I said back in Lake Forest although it wasn’t relevant anymore. “I thought I was done with you.”

  “Well I thought I was done with you too. I would still be if you didn’t pop back up in my life.”

  “If you wanted me gone for good you wouldn’t have had my son.”

  “That’s stupid. One thing has nothing to do with the other. I didn’t tell you because I couldn’t contact you. I never planned to tell you because you clearly didn’t want to see me again.”

  She was really harping on some random statement I made ages ago. “You’re selfish.”

  “Me selfish? That’s bullshit.”

  “No sweetheart, you are very selfish. You didn’t care how your actions would affect Alex or me. What makes you think you can be a father? You can’t give him what I can.”

  “Money?”

  I ignored that little comment. “My father abandoned me. There is no way I would abandon my son. You tried to rob him of a father. That is extremely selfish.”

  “I don’t know anything about you and your father or your childhood. You left me alone.”

  “I left you?”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  Had she developed real feelings for me? Women fall in love too quick. “I paid you for sex.”

  “I know that.”

  “What more did you expect?”

  “Nothing but you came back a second time.”

  “With more money for more sex.”

  “You could have slept with someone else.”

  “You think that just because I chose you again, that meant something to me? You are so delusional.”

  “Fuck you!”

  “You did fuck me and you were only a piece of Black ass.”

  Blam! She punched me in the face with her closed fist. Right on the side of my face. My hand jerked the steering wheel but I didn’t lose control of the car. I was too shocked to retaliate. I glared over at her and I could see the fear.

  My hand left the steering wheel to comb the lock hair that had fallen out of place and onto my forehead. Kelby flinched. She thought I was going to hit her.

  “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m not going to hit you.”

  “You’ve done it before.”

  “During sex, I don’t beat women. That’s ridiculous.”

  “Really you choked me until I blacked out.”

  A total exaggeration. “That was during sex and that was so long ago. Why would you bring that up?” I glanced into the backseat. Alex was asleep. He slept a lot. He couldn’t hear or see his parents arguing. We were a real fucked up pair.

  “You choked me. You tried to kill me.”

  “Oh god. Are you serious? I never tried to kill you. I just fucked you and you loved it. Clearly you loved it and this is an asinine conversation. You know you can’t hit me in my face. I need my face to make money. I’m an actor. Did you forget? Stop hitting me in my fucking face.”

  “Sorry, I wasn’t thinking about that. I forget who you are sometimes.”

  Her words comforted me. Had she really forgot that I was Antonio Lambrusco? Was she just looking at me like a regular guy that had pissed her off? Sure it was stupid but she hit me because I made her mad. Not because a multimillion dollar movie star made her mad.

  “You act like you hate me.”

  “I have mixed emotions. Sometimes you say really mean things.” She turned and looked out the passenger window. We were really different types of people.

  “I know, I’m not perfect but we have this kid. I don’t actually know what I’m doing. I had a shitty father. It’s not an excuse it’s just the truth.”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put my hands on you.”

  “You should be sorry. Alex is asleep in the backseat. I could have lost control of the car and killed us all. You have to be more responsible with your emotions.”

  “I said I’m sorry. Don’t be an asshole.”

  “It’s not a big deal. I will probably just blindfold you. Tie you up and fuck you in your ass later.” She rolled her eyes at me but that shut her up for about ten minutes.

  “Tonio, can I ask you something.”

  “Yeah.” Why did I say that?

  “Why me? Why did you pick me?”

  I sucked up all the air inside the car. “Do you really want to know?”

  “Yes, I asked. I want to know.”

  “If I told you— you would think I was a psycho.”

  “No, I wouldn’t. Tell me. I want to know. I need to know.”

  “Why do need to know?”

  “I want to understand you.”

  “You will never understand me. I don’t understand me.”

  “Don’t be so elusive. Tell me. I want to know everything. I want to know why you came back this time. Why did you try to find me? Why do you force me to say I love you? Those words mean nothing to you. Why me? You can have anybody.”

  “Pretty girl, you have too many questions.”

  “Answer them.”

  “Things just aren’t that simple.”

  “I think I’m smart enough to understand. Tell me.”

  How much was I really going to share? “I have so much rage inside me. Maybe it’s pain. I don’t know. It’s something that has festered inside me for years.”

  “Why?”

  I took a minute to think about it, the wo
rds, and an explanation. What would I say? “When I was sixteen my drama teacher told me I was the best actor she had ever taught. That was the first time a person made me feel better about my life. She told me that my ability to channel my pain into my performance wasn’t talent. It was godly possession. She scared the shit out of me. I never thought I would be anything other than a criminal or troublemaker. She told me I had two choices. I could be a cult leader or a professional actor. She said I could use my acting gift for good or evil. This was heavy shit to hear for a teenage boy with no direction or future. She didn’t know I had already been doing horrible things, some illegal things. She didn’t know about all the bad things I had seen. Deep down, I didn’t want to be bad. I wanted to be good but sometimes the bad parts fight to the surface and I have to release them. I’m living a double life. I’ve been doing it since I was a child. I don’t know any other way to live. I know I hurt you. Before, when we first met. It wasn’t like I planned it that way. Let me be perfectly clear. I’m going to hurt you again and again and again.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I can— because it’s what I do. I’m going to fuck you and I’m going to disappear. I’m going to treat you special and then treat you like shit. It’s what I’ve always done. It’s who I am. I don’t know any other way to be.”

  “Why be like that? Stop being that way. Just be nice to me all the time.”

  “You think it’s that easy. It’s not. Do you know how hard it is to not be like my father?” I wasn’t sure why I said that. I was saying things to Kelby I had never shared with a woman I had been intimate with.

  “I don’t know your father but I know you’re not him. You’re you. You’re Antonio Lambrusco. I don’t know what his name is, your father, but you’re not him.”

  “But I am, I’m him. I’m just like him.” I thought about stopping. I thought about shutting my fucking mouth but I didn’t want her to think we had a future. “My father, he fucked prostitutes while he was married to my mother, Black ones. There were a lot of them. I would sit there and watch him fuck Black whores while my mother was at work. It wasn’t really an ideal way to learn about sex. He made me watch every day after school. Rough sex, violent, weird, kinky shit— with no protection. I could have half Black brothers and sisters in fucking Illinois, Indiana and Wisconsin, everywhere.” I thought about my other brother. We were close but I didn’t want to share him with her yet.