Just Breathe Series (Trilogy Box Set)

by Martha Sweeney

  “Fuck me,” I quietly demand, dancing my fingers in his hair.

  Joe obliges before I finish uttering the words. He slams his shaft into me, pounding me into the wall. Memories of when he took me like this last time flood my thoughts. Strike after strike, the wetness in my sex increases, giving Joe full opportunity to plunge into me as deep as he can go.

  “God . . . you feel so good,” he announces as he huffs into my neck.

  “Mmmm . . .” I sigh.

  He continues to ram me, bringing me closer. Joe’s fingers squeeze into my ass and my arms fasten tighter around his neck. Blow after blow into my aroused cave, we grunt and moan. The unrelenting pleasure surges into me, soaking his cock as shrieks of ecstasy reverberate from my throat.

  I feel his body shaking from both pleasure and fatigue. We stay sandwiched against the wall for several minutes. Without letting go, Joe steadies us before carrying me back to his bed. I lounge temporarily, unable to move. Before joining me, Joe heads to the bathroom. Unable to see what he’s doing, I lay quietly waiting for his return. The sensation of a warm, damp cloth over my lower belly, wiping down the exterior of my sex draws my attention. I watch Joe meticulously clean and inspect my body before returning to the bathroom.

  A few moments later, Joe guides my body over the bed and covers me with a sheet. He conforms his torso to mine, spooning me as Sadie slumps her body over us. I wait patiently for Joe to fall asleep — this is the only way I’ll be able to leave without his opposition.

  The compulsion to urinate forces me to get up — I must have fallen asleep. I change in the bathroom and grab my things, leaving without a word. Sadie gradually follows me with mild coaxing and in no time we are homeward bound.

  Sixty Three

  The next morning, I take a cab with Sadie to head to Maggie’s unannounced. Arnold cordially greets me and informs me that Maggie is feeling better as he leads me to the back patio. My heart steadies with relief when I see her eating. I hear Henry off in the distance on the phone as I approach Maggie.

  “Hey you!” A small smile flickers across her face.

  “Hey,” I eek out, curling my mouth to the left.

  Maggie reaches for me, directing me to join her.

  We sit quietly for a long while as we soak up the morning sun that is cascading over our legs. Nǎinai and Mŭqīn come from inside the house a few minutes later with some tea and food. They both kiss and hug me, longer than usual.

  “Jared said you haven’t spoken with him since Thursday,” Maggie breeches the uncomfortable subject.

  Lowering my head, I offer, “I haven’t talked to anyone.”

  “You okay?” she checks.

  “Yeah . . .” I unconvincingly lie.

  “I’m sorry to put you . . . .”

  “Don’t be,” I cut her off. “I’m glad you called me.”

  “I know, but . . . .” Maggie's sighs. “I know this is hard for you too.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I fib.

  The sight of her does help a little and the more I start to see my old friend again, I know I’ll get better.

  “Henry said your business trip got cancelled. I’m sorry,” she changes the subject.

  “It’s fine. Joe rescheduled it for next week. We leave Wednesday,” I mention gently. “You’re more important.”

  “I know,” she hesitantly agrees. “But . . . .”

  “But nothing,” I sternly counter. “You’re family.”

  I didn’t realize it until I did some research online that Maggie could have had a complication with the miscarriage — the kind that could have caused her own death. Regret for leaving and being selfish for my own thoughts and feelings compelled me to come back to Maggie today. I needed her to know that I’m here.

  There’s a lingering sadness in Maggie’s eyes, but I can honestly say that I see significant improvement in her mood from when I saw her last week. I wonder if seeing me is helping in some way — dispelling her thoughts about how much this event has affected me.

  “I want updates while you’re there,” she commands with a sweet smile.

  “Of course,” I happily consent. “Do you think you’ll be up for some video conferencing or interviews a week later?”

  I’m hoping that getting Maggie’s attention onto a new topic might help facilitate her recovery — and perhaps mine.

  With a genuine grin, Maggie states, “Definitely.”

  “Good. I need to see how the potential staff respond and interact with you before we make our final decisions of hiring,” I express, keeping our attention on positive subjects.

  “Can’t wait,” she says. “So, what’s new with you?”

  “What do you mean?” I check.

  “I don’t know,” she says with a smile, shrugging her shoulders. “I didn’t know if anything else has come up since the last time we talked.”

  “Nope,” I say. “Nothing new.”

  Silence falls upon us as we relax in the sun for a while.

  “Maggie?” I ask, getting the gumption to breech another topic that weighs heavily on my mind.

  “Yeah, Emma?” she returns.

  “I’m sorry,” I apologize.

  “For what?” she inquires, obviously not knowing where I’m going with this.

  “For leaving you . . .” I begin, hanging my head in shame a bit. “I shouldn’t have left you . . . .”

  “Don’t be silly,” she challenges, cutting me off. “I know it wasn’t easy. How could I be mad? You came when I needed you . . . there was no one else who I thought to call who could help me the most . . . with you, I knew everything would be fine.”

  I squeeze her tight, allowing a few tears to fall.

  “I knew you’d need your own time,” she shares. “You always have in the past when things became intense like this.”

  “Yeah,” I sigh.

  “Don’t beat yourself up about it, okay?” she directs.

  “Okay,” I agree.

  “I mean it,” Maggie insists.

  I nod.

  “I love you,” she adds.

  “Love you,” I reply, holding her tighter.

  We stay together for the rest of the day, talking now and then, including our family in conversation that comes up or joining theirs. Henry seems a little better too, but he has his moments, just like Maggie, when the pain creeps back in from time to time. He seeks comfort from me a few times — or, is he looking to comfort me? I’m not sure, but I don’t mind either way. I like to think we’re comforting each other.

  I stay at Maggie’s, working remotely on my iPad. I decided before I got to her today that I’d stay as long as she needs me; at least until my trip. Arnold informs me of lunch being severed as I’m checking the software functionality with Raven 1.0. My eyes stay glued to the screen as I head out to the patio. Just as I sit down to join Henry, Maggie, Mr. and Mrs. Wú, Mŭqīn and Nǎinai, my head jerks up when I hear Jared’s voice. My gaze finds him, Nathan and Pop-Pop. We share pained smiles, but I can tell that they aren’t angry with me either. This is a time when I’m very thankful for the relationships I have with them. They take turns greeting me as if nothing unusual has happened.

  Once we get settled around the table, Arnold announces Joe’s arrival. I should have expected there would be more people with the number of place settings. Joe makes his way around the table, saying hello to everyone before taking his seat.

  Conversations are light, and after our meal, Jared and I catch up by going for a walk around the property.

  “I’m sorry,” I begin, shame-faced at my actions.

  “It’s okay, Kitten,” Jared lovingly accepts.

  “No . . .” I start to explain, but he cuts me off.

  “Kitten, it’s okay. It was hard for everyone. I can only imagine how it was for you when . . .” his voice trails for a moment. “I know you don’t believe that it’s okay for the way you reacted, but it is.”

  My eyes begin to well up and a lump forms in my throat. The thoughts and feelin
gs that are still flooding my body surprise me. I am unable to look at him. Jared’s arms firmly wrap around me. A smile flits across my face as the smell of him makes me feel at home. My body uncontrollably responds, molding my arms around his neck.

  “I was scared too,” he admits. “Scared for Maggie. I’ve heard stories about . . . .”

  “Don’t . . . please,” I beg, not wanting to discuss it.

  “Okay. I’m sorry.” Jared lets out with a sigh. “You did everything you could. You’re . . .” he encourages.

  “No . . .” I argue. “I know she forgives me, but I still abandoned her.”

  “No, you didn’t. You left her in the care of the rest of the family when it became too much for you,” he warmly justifies.

  “No . . .” I disagree.

  “What’s most important is that you were there when she called . . . when she needed you . . . and you’re here now.”

  “Yeah,” I say partially, still not fully agreeing with my friend.

  “You needed your own time to cope before you can help Maggie finish doing the same,” he sweetly advises.

  “I guess.”

  “I hate to say this,” he begins. “But, I’m glad Maggie called you. I don’t know what I would have done if she called me first. I probably would have made it worse.”

  “No,” I object.

  “Yeah, I would have,” he debates. “You knew how I’d be and that it wouldn’t have helped her. I would have just made things worse for her if you didn’t have Joe block me and get me to calm down.” Jared takes in a deep breath. “You and Maggie are my family. You two are the most important things in my life next to Nathan and Pop-Pop.” Jared pauses, like he’s trying to find the right words.

  “I know,” I soothe, understanding the thoughts running through his head as he fights back tears. “I know. I love you.”

  “I love you, Kitten,” Jared returns with tears.

  Jared and I don’t say anything else. We continue to hold and comfort each other for a while before heading back to our family. Everyone stays for dinner and well past sunset. Dinner contains a few more family members who help add some more life back to the house. Joe offers to take me home, but I opt to stay the night with Maggie. I need her to know that I’m here for her — perhaps I need it too.

  Sixty Four

  It takes a few more days of hearing Maggie perk up for me to do the same. If I’m not with her, checking in on her in person, my attention is kept on business. Control. I need to control as much as I can right now.

  Joe’s parents are scheduled to fly in Tuesday to pay their respects to Maggie, Henry and the rest of the family before we leave Wednesday morning.

  Jared and Pop-Pop have been staying over at my place since I left Maggie, both doting on me, insisting they take care of the meals, letting me focus on work. Nathan joins us in the evenings when he’s finished at Nathaniel’s and brings some of his work back with him.

  I keep myself hidden in my office during most of the days, avoiding talking about what’s happened the past week. Jared checks in on me regularly and is always quick to join me when I need to relax, while walking Sadie or taking a break on the couch or my bed. Each night, he and Nathan sleep with me in my room while Pop-Pop insists on claiming the couch.

  Sunday, I finally get the gumption to listen to the voice messages Joe left for me the first night we had sex a month ago. My heart softens hearing the strain in Joe’s voice asking me if I’m okay and to call him. The next thing I realize, I’m texting him an apology.

  “Sorry,” I write.

  “For what?” Joe immediately replies.

  I wince, not sure how to respond. “The night of the wedding.”

  “What about it?” he searches.

  Has he forgotten?

  “Leaving. Not answering your texts or calls,” I quickly write, fearing that I might not ever acknowledge it.

  “You made up for it the next morning, beautiful,” he texts. “And, each time after that.”

  “Really?” I check.

  “Yeah . . . but I could use a reminder,” he baits.

  “Me too,” I surprisingly answer.

  “Come over.”

  “Jared and Pop-Pop are here,” I inform.

  “Damn,” he writes. “Everything okay?”

  “They’re still keeping an eye on me,” I confess.

  “Good,” he sends. Before I write a response, he comments, “Want to sneak over later?”

  I can’t help but smile. “I want to,” I confirm.

  “But?” he explores. “Too risky?”

  “Yeah,” I agree.

  “When are they leaving?”

  “Hopefully tomorrow,” I answer.

  “LOL,” Joe writes, knowing my sense of humor.

  “Who you texting?” Jared questions.

  My head snaps to look at him, finding him propped in the doorway. “No one.”

  “The look on your faces doesn’t seem like it’s no one,” he jabs. As I’m about to respond, Jared interrupts. “Don’t worry about it, Kitten. It’s good to see you smile like that.”

  “Thanks,” I reply. “What’s up?”

  “Dinner’s ready,” he informs.

  “Yum. It smells good,” I mention.

  “I think Pop-Pop has out done himself with this one,” he chuckles.

  The three of us feast on the delectable meal Pop-Pop prepared as we talk and laugh. While I clean up the dishes, Jared informs me that they are heading back home tonight. Apparently, the way I acted at dinner set them at ease and they were waiting to make sure I was good to be on my own. I tease Jared about me being a big girl, but there’s no arguing with him when he gets protective. If the roles were reversed, I would have done the same for him — because I have.

  I bid them farewell at eight and once they’re out the door, I rush to the bathroom and check myself from head-to-toe, searching to see if I need to shave, pluck or anything else. Next, I strip down and jump in the shower. I wash quickly and check a second time for any locations that may need trimming. Letting my hair air dry, I put on a cute summer dress without a bra, put on one of the pairs of panties Joe gave me, slip on some heels and grab my purse and Sadie’s leash as we head out onto the streets of Pasadena.

  When we turn up Raymond Avenue, Sadie’s temperament changes a little — I wonder if she knows where we’re going. In less than ten minutes, we’re standing outside of Joe’s building.

  Anna pleasantly greets us at the door, and before she gets the chance to invite us in, Joe is striding toward us as Sadie runs to him. Joe warmly greets Sadie, but keeps his eyes locked on me.

  “I have some things to take care of . . . you will not see me, and then I will be gone,” Anna states.

  Joe leans in to hug and kiss me on the cheek. He lingers longer than usual.

  “Thank you, Anna,” Joe answers without looking at her.

  My gaze follows Anna’s body heading down the hallway as she coaxes Sadie to follow. The next thing I know, Joe has me pressed up against the wall in the adjacent hall that leads to his bedroom and his mouth is consuming mine.

  Barely peeling his lips apart from mine, he questions, “How did you get away?”

  “They willingly left not too long ago,” I mumble, not wanting to do anything else but be naked with him.

  Joe’s hands slide up the sides of my legs, hoisting my dress up enough for his hands to explore my ass and sex. My hands grip onto the back of his neck as our mouths and tongues swirl together. Joe quickly jumps to my neck and my body instantly surrenders. I groan when he lowers to the floor — why are we not on his bed by now?

  Joe pauses for a second after kissing my navel. “Is this one of the pairs I got you?” he checks.

  Biting my lip, I nod confirmation.

  He presses his face into my belly, just above the edge of my underwear, and takes a deep breath in as his lips and tongue taste my skin. We both moan at the same time.

  “Are you going to . . . rip them off,�
�� I gulp.

  Joe lets out a moan as if he’s contemplating the idea. “I’m not sure yet,” he says, leaning back slightly. “I think I really like this pair.”

  “Then, we better hurry, or else I . . .” my voice stops when I hear a strange noise.

  Standing back up, Joe searches, “What’s wrong?”

  The sounds occur again.

  Joe and I quickly fix our appearances and check the each other before anyone gets close. I hear Sadie’s feet trotting across the floor along with Anna loudly announcing that she’s on her way to answer the door.

  “Had a backup booty call just in case?” I goad wanting to defuse the situation.

  Joe gives me a stern look — the kind of look that says how can you ask a question like that?. “No. I’m not expecting anyone,” he states calmly. Joe steps into me, placing his hand on my cheek.

  “It’s okay if you did,” I comment, trying to deflect my insecurities.

  Joe gives me another look like he’s hurt by the idea that I would think such a thought. “There’s no one else,” he testifies. His lips tenderly seize mine.

  Oddly, my heart is happy and scared by his words and actions.

  Joe’s mouth stays with mine until we hear Anna. “Mr. and Mrs. Covelli, how lovely to see you.”

  Our bodies immediately separate, checking our appearance a second time before walking the few steps down the hall and turning the corner to greet his parents. It takes me a moment to adjust from the moisture that has collected on my panties.

  “Mother. Father,” Joe announces. “What are you doing here? I thought you were coming Tuesday?”

  “Emma, darling,” Mrs. Covelli beams when she seems me. “How lovely to see you, sweetheart.”

  “Mrs., I mean, Elaine, it’s a pleasure to see you,” I return as graciously as I’m able given my flustered hormones.

  I watch her joyful expression alter slightly as her gaze bounces between Joe and me, even after I properly greet her. She seems very pleased to see me, but there’s more.

  “I hope we aren’t interrupting anything,” Mrs. Covelli states after Mr. Covelli and I release from our embrace.

  “Not at all mother,” Joe offers.

  “Your mother thought since we were able to free up our schedule, we should get out this way tonight. We wanted to be able to see the Lis and Wús without having to dart off for Oregon right away,” Mr. Covelli answers. “If we are intruding, we certainly can . . . .”