A Cousin's Prayer

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Ella smiled. “I might go and buy a few candles. How about you, Katie?”

  Katie shook her head. “I’m not that interested in candles or scented soaps.” She motioned to the worktable. “Since I have no customers at the moment and Mom’s up at the house, I guess we could start stamping now.” Katie was glad Eunice hadn’t been able to come, and she sure didn’t want to go to one of her parties.

  “I’ve been looking forward to this all day.” Ella pulled out a chair and sat down. “We have several birthdays coming up in our family, so it’ll be fun to make a few cards.”

  Loraine reached for the stack of cardstock in the center of the table. “I think I’ll make Ada and Crist a card to go with the gift Wayne and I are giving them for their new house. I might include one of my poems on the inside of the card.”

  “What’d you get them?” Katie asked.

  “Wayne made a coffee table. He says he’s not an expert carpenter, but I think he did a good job. I’m sure his folks will be real pleased.”

  “Due to our current economic situation, a lot of people are making more things rather than buying store-bought items,” Ella said. “My folks have decided to stay home for more meals instead of eating out so often.”

  “Guess everyone needs to do their part to help out when money’s tight,” Loraine said.

  “That’s true,” Ella agreed. “Charlene and I have been helping our mamm put up a lot more produce this summer. It’ll save us a lot of money at the grocery store come winter.” She looked over at Loraine. “Changing the subject, I’ve been wondering how Wayne’s three-legged sheep is getting along.”

  “Tripod’s doing real well. The critter still follows Wayne all over the place like she’s his pet.”

  “I guess she is,” Ella said with a nod.

  “Listen to us going on and on about so many unimportant things.” Loraine leaned closer to Katie and tapped her arm. “Didn’t you have a counseling session today?”

  Katie nodded.

  “How’d it go?”

  “Okay.” Katie hoped Loraine wouldn’t question her about what had been said during her session with Dr. Coleman. She didn’t want to talk about it. She just wanted to spend a few hours having some fun.

  For the next half hour, Katie worked quietly on some cards while she listened to Ella and Loraine visit. Every once in a while, she left the table to wait on a customer.

  Soon after Katie took her seat again, she noticed Loraine clenching her teeth as she clutched her stomach.

  “Are you okay?” Ella asked.

  “I’ve been having a few stomach cramps off and on all day. They weren’t too bad at first, but they seem to be getting worse.” Loraine grimaced as she pushed away from the table and stood. “I think I’d better use the bathroom.”

  When Loraine left the room, Katie looked over at Ella and said, “Sure hope it’s nothing serious.”

  “It’s probably indigestion. My mamm had that a lot when she was carrying Charlene.”

  A few minutes later, Loraine returned, looking pale and shaken. “I ... I need to go home. I’m bleeding!”

  CHAPTER 33

  Katie’s chair squeaked as she took a seat at the kitchen table. She had no appetite for food. How could she think about eating supper when she was worried about Loraine? They hadn’t heard anything for several hours—not since Loraine had been taken to the hospital.

  “Let’s pray,” Dad said after he’d taken his seat at the head of the table.

  Katie bowed her head and closed her eyes. Searching for the right words, she silently prayed, Please, God, don’t let Loraine lose her boppli. She and Wayne have been through a lot, and they deserve to be happy. Take away my fears, and help me with my panic attacks. And please bring all the gossiping about me to an end.

  Dad rustled his napkin, and Katie’s eyes snapped open. Mom took a spoonful of potato salad and handed the bowl to Katie. Katie stared at it a few seconds then handed it to Dad.

  Mom nudged Katie’s arm. “Aren’t you having any potato salad? I made it with plenty of mustard, just the way you like.”

  Katie passed the plate of ham to Dad as she shook her head. “I’m too worried about Loraine to think about food.”

  “You don’t have to think about food; just eat it.” The lines running across Dad’s forehead deepened. “You eat like a bird, and you’re way too skinny.”

  “Your daed’s right,” Mom agreed. “You’ll end up sick if you don’t start eating more.”

  Katie’s skin prickled. She was tired of Mom and Dad badgering her all the time.

  “Have some of this.” Mom plopped a huge spoonful of coleslaw in the middle of Katie’s plate.

  “I’m not hungry!” Katie leaped out of her chair and was almost to the stairs leading to the second floor when a knock sounded on the back door. She opened the door. The bishop stood on the porch, and he wasn’t smiling.

  “Mom and Dad are in the kitchen,” Katie said.

  He shook his head. “Didn’t come to see them. Came to see you.”

  “Oh? What about?”

  “There’s a rumor going around that you’re expecting a boppli. Is it true?”

  “Is what true?” Dad questioned as he came to the door. “What’s this all about?”

  “Can I come in?” asked the bishop.

  Dad nodded and led the way to the kitchen. Katie followed, her legs trembling like a newborn colt. Eunice had obviously taken her story to the bishop, probably hoping to make Katie look bad for trying to hide her pregnancy from everyone.

  “Now what’s this all about?” Dad asked again.

  The bishop pulled out a chair at the table and sat down. “I’m not here to be judgmental, but there’s a rumor going around that your daughter’s in a family way. I came to find out whether it’s true or not.”

  “Of course it’s not true,” Mom said with a quick shake of her head. “I don’t know why anyone would think Katie’s pregnant.”

  Dad touched Mom’s shoulder. “Now don’t get yourself all worked up, JoAnn. As the bishop said, it’s only a rumor.” He turned to face Katie. “Tell the bishop what he needs to hear.”

  “It’s not true,” Katie said, slowly shaking her head. “Eunice made it up, but Freeman said she wasn’t going to keep the rumor going. I guess he was wrong about that.”

  Mom rubbed the bridge of her nose as she stared at Katie. “How long have you known about this rumor?”

  Katie shrugged. “Awhile.”

  “And you never said a word to us? Why, Katie?” Dad asked.

  “I didn’t want you to be upset or think that I might be—”

  “We know you’re not pregnant, Katie.” Mom looked at the bishop. “As you know, Katie’s dealing with some emotional issues.”

  He gave a nod.

  “One of her anxiety symptoms is nausea, and another one’s feeling lightheaded and shaky. Maybe Eunice assumed Katie was pregnant because of her symptoms.”

  “That could be.” The bishop pushed his chair back and stood. “Well, I won’t take up any more of your time.” He smiled at Katie. “If I hear any more rumors about you, I’ll put an end to them real quick.”

  “We appreciate that,” Mom said before Katie could respond.

  After the bishop left, Katie decided that she needed to be alone by herself for a while, and some fresh air might help clear her head. “I’m going outside,” she said.

  “Please come finish your supper first,” Mom said, motioning to Katie’s plate.

  Katie shook her head. “I told you before, I’m not hungry.” She turned and rushed out the door.

  ***

  JoAnn looked over at Jeremy and frowned. “I don’t know what we’re going to do about Katie.”

  “Surely you don’t think she’s lying about not being pregnant.” She shook her head. “I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about the symptoms she’s been having. Some might be related to her panic attacks all right, but being nauseous and shaky could be because she does
n’t eat enough.”

  Jeremy lifted his broad shoulders. “Not much we can do about that. It’s not like it was when she was a maedel and we could take away her desert if she didn’t eat supper.”

  “I’m hoping Katie’s counseling sessions will bring her back to us.” JoAnn sighed deeply. “I won’t be there to hear what Dr. Coleman has to say when Katie goes next week.”

  “How come?”

  “He asked me to wait outside, and even though I wasn’t thrilled about the idea, I agreed.” She frowned. “But then Katie said she wants me to stay home next week, and if I agree to that, she’ll be all alone.”

  Jeremy drank some of his water. “Might be for the best. Katie needs to learn to go places by herself and do things on her own. She’ll never be able to function as a woman if she doesn’t.”

  “Jah, well, Katie might be able to do that once she’s feeling better emotionally. Right now, though, I feel she needs someone to go with her to offer moral support and to ask Dr. Coleman questions she might not think of.”

  He set his glass down and frowned at her. “You’re overprotective where Katie’s concerned, and you have been ever since she was a boppli. I don’t know if it’s because she’s our only maedel or because she’s the youngest of our kinner, but it’s gotten worse since she came back from Florida. You hover over her all the time and offer way too many suggestions.”

  Irritation welled in JoAnn’s soul. “I’m not overprotective, and I don’t hover! I care about our daughter and want what’s best for her.”

  “Then let her stand on her own two feet, and offer support through your love and prayers instead of pushing so hard. If Katie needs something, I’m sure she’ll ask. If Katie’s hungry, I’m sure she’ll eat.” Jeremy slid his chair away from the table. “I’m goin’ outside on the porch to read the newspaper!”

  “But you haven’t finished your supper.”

  “I ate as much as I want, and I’m not a little buwe, so stop tellin’ me what to do!” Jeremy strode across the room and jerked open the back door.

  JoAnn cringed when the door slammed shut. Was she the only one who cared about Katie?

  ***

  As soon as Freeman pulled his bike into the Millers’ yard, he spotted Katie’s dad sitting on the porch.

  “Is that an English or Amish newspaper you’re reading?” Freeman asked as he stepped onto the porch.

  “English. This one’s out of Goshen.” Jeremy motioned to the chair beside him. “Take a seat if you like.”

  “Anything interesting in there?” Freeman asked as he sat down.

  “Lots of bad news, including more about our depressed economy and how it’s affecting us here.” Jeremy frowned. “Seems to be gettin’ worse all the time.”

  Freeman nodded slowly. “I know. With so many of the RV factories either shut down or having cut way back, a lot of men in our area have lost their jobs or have had their hours cut back.”

  Jeremy crossed his legs. “A man can’t support a family when he has no work. Some may have to move if things don’t improve. I don’t know an Amish man who won’t do whatever it takes to provide for his family.”

  “Guess some might need to look at other options for making money,” Freeman said.

  “Like what?”

  “Maybe making birdhouses, wooden plaques, baked goods, or anything handcrafted that could be sold at the Shipshewana flea market or in some of our local shops. The Amish probably won’t buy ’em, but maybe the tourists would.”

  Jeremy nodded. “It doesn’t help the economy any when our property taxes keep going up, either.” He pointed to the newspaper. “Yet it looks like they’re planning to raise ’em again.”

  “It amazes me that some people think we Amish don’t pay any kind of taxes, when we pay most of the same taxes as the Englishers.”

  “That’s true, and besides paying taxes, we fund our own schools.” Jeremy heaved a sigh. “All that said, if we Amish stick together, I’m sure we’ll survive any crisis that comes our way. Always have; always will.”

  “Guess you’re right about that.” Freeman glanced over his shoulder. “Is Katie in the house? I’d like to know if she got the note I left her at the stamp shop.”

  Jeremy gestured toward the barn. “She was wandering around out in the yard when I came out here awhile ago, but then she went in there. Think she was lookin’ for a place to be alone.”

  “Maybe I shouldn’t bother her then.”

  Jeremy shook his head. “I’m pretty sure it was her mamm she was trying to get away from. Don’t think she’d object to seein’ you, though.”

  Freeman wasn’t sure if he should comment on that, so he stared at the barn, trying to decide whether he should bother Katie.

  “JoAnn took Katie to see one of the counselors at the mental health facility today.” Jeremy sighed loudly. “It didn’t go so well with JoAnn bein’ in there while the counselor was trying to talk to Katie. She said he asked her to wait outside the next time they come.”

  “Guess it makes sense that he’d want to speak with Katie alone.”

  “She’ll be alone all right. Told her mamm she didn’t want her going to the next session with her at all.” Jeremy gestured to the barn again. “Feel free to visit with Katie if you like. I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

  Freeman wasn’t so sure about that, but he said good-bye to Jeremy and headed for the barn. He found Katie inside, sitting on a bale of hay with a fluffy gray cat curled in her lap.

  “How are you doing?” Freeman asked, taking a seat beside her.

  “Okay,” she mumbled without looking up.

  Freeman cringed. Was she still mad at him?

  “I ... uh ... was wondering if you got the note I left for you.”

  She nodded and stroked the cat’s head. It began to purr and nestled deeper into her lap.

  “Are you still angry with me, Katie?”

  “I guess not.”

  “Then what’s wrong? I can see that you’re unhappy about something.”

  “I’m upset about several things.”

  “Like what?”

  “For one thing, our bishop was here awhile ago, asking if I was in a family way.”

  “Are you kidding?”

  “No, I’m not. He said he’d heard a rumor that I was pregnant, and he wanted to find out whether it was true or not.” Katie frowned. “It was Eunice who started the rumor, of course.”

  “I’m really sorry, Katie. Were you able to convince him that the rumor’s not true?”

  She nodded. “He said if he hears any more gossip about me, he’ll put a stop to it.”

  “That’s good.”

  “Then to make my day even worse, Loraine’s at the hospital, and she may lose her boppli.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that. I know how excited she and Wayne were about becoming parents, so I hope and pray it’ll go okay for her.”

  “Me, too.”

  Freeman reached over and stroked the cat’s head. “Before I came in here, I was talking to your daed, and he said you went to see the counselor today.”

  “Uh-huh. I saw Dr. Coleman.”

  “How’d it go?”

  “Okay, I guess, but he didn’t really say much to help me.”

  “It’s gonna take time, Katie. It took awhile for your panic attacks to start, and it’ll take awhile for you to learn how to deal with ’em.”

  “I hope you’re right. I have another appointment with Dr. Coleman next week, and I asked my mamm not to go with me again.”

  “How come?”

  “She kept answering all the questions Dr. Coleman asked me, and when she wasn’t answering questions, she was asking them. I could hardly get in a word.” Katie shuddered and sighed. “I’m already feeling naerfich about going there alone, but I don’t want Mom to go with me again.”

  “Would you like me to go with you? I’d stay in the waiting room while you’re in with the counselor, of course.”

  “You ... you’d be willing to
do that?”

  “If it’d make you feel more comfortable, I’d be glad to ride along.”

  “What about your work? I wouldn’t want you to get behind on things at the bike shop because of me.”

  “I’m pretty well caught up right now, so it shouldn’t be a problem if I’m gone for a few hours once a week.”

  Katie smiled. “Danki, Freeman. I would like you to ride along with me.”

  Just then Katie’s dad stepped into the barn, shaking his head and wearing a frown. “I just checked the answering machine, and we got some bad news. Loraine lost the boppli.”

  Katie pushed the cat aside, jumped off the bale of hay, and stormed out of the barn. “That’s it!” she shouted. “I’m done praying for things!”

  CHAPTER 34

  “Are you sure you’re feeling up to doing that?”

  Loraine turned from the stove where she’d been heating some soup, as well as some water for tea. “I’m fine,” she said, smiling at her mother.

  “But it’s only been a few days since you miscarried, and I don’t want you overdoing it.”

  “I’m not. Besides, cooking a meal gives me something to do. It’s better than sitting around feeling sorry for myself.”

  The teakettle whistled, and Loraine removed it from the stove and dropped in a couple of tea bags.

  Mom opened the cupboard door and started setting the table. “I know how disappointed you must feel, because I felt the same way when I miscarried.”

  Loraine’s eyes widened. “When was that? I never knew you had a miscarriage.”

  “It was before you were born, and I never saw a need to mention it until now.” Mom stared out the window.

  “Was it your first pregnancy?”

  “Jah.” Mom sighed. “Have you ever had the feeling that something in your life was too good to be true?”

  Loraine nodded.

  “Well, that’s the way I felt when I first learned I was pregnant—I was bursting with happiness. But then when I lost the boppli, your daed and I felt so disappointed I wondered if either of us would ever feel happy again.” Mom smiled. “But God was good, and within a year, I got pregnant again. I finally came to realize that the boppli I’d lost might have been born with serious problems and that losing it might have been God’s will for me.”