Still Rocking

by A. D. Herrick

  “We never had sex.” The words came out just above a whisper.

  If Nina was pregnant it sure in the hell wasn’t by me. I had wanted to of course but she had made it very clear in the beginning that she was waiting until she was married. I had admired that about her. I respected her even more for keeping her virtue for someone she loved.

  “What about all those trip to Russia?” He asked in mix disbelief and skepticism.

  “I never even took her back to my hotel room. We would meet in a public place, have dinner, or go to a show and then we would part our separate ways.” I sat on the floor, my legs spread out in front of me, and head leaned back against the cabinet door. Tosha dropped beside me mimicking my pose.

  “So, now what?” He asked confused.

  “The hell if I know. I don’t understand what game she is trying to play here. She was hot then cold. She wanted to get married but didn’t. She wanted to tell everyone about us and then she wanted to hide everything. Now she is calling you and telling you she is pregnant with my baby. If you ask me, she seems a bit off her rocker.” I admitted with no remorse.

  Tosha chuckled lightly. “You know you have to get ahead of this before it gets out of control. Regardless of what goes down, just know I’m behind you one hundred and ten percent, without a doubt. You’re my brother, my family.” I was moved my Tosha’s words. “Thanks man.” Tosha patted my knee in show of support. I held up my fist for him to bump with his own.

  I knew the first place I was going to have to go was my parents. I was going to have to talk to them and tell them everything that has been going on. I needed to get to them before Nina did and either painted me as a potential dead beat or had me in an obligation to marry her. Neither one was a scenario I was looking forward to.

  “I have to call my parents.” I muttered not happy with the potential results. This was not a conversation I wanted to ever have with my parents. I knew that being a rock star this was the type of thing I would get hit with frequently but I had never had it actually happen. It was always just a possibility. With any other woman from the road I would have had to have believed her until a DNA test confirmed otherwise. I had always used protection but you never know. With Nina I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that there was no way possible. Despite what my parents told me growing up, kissing did not make babies. It may have led to other things that would, but in this particular case, it did not.

  With a quick call I made arrangements to be at my parents’ house within an hour. They had been excited to hear from me. My mother told me she had just been about to call me and invite me over. She had some news she wanted to share with me that she was thrilled about. I only hoped that the news I was about to break to her wouldn’t overshadow her news and put a damper on it. I had never heard my mother this excited about anything before. I hoped like hell it wasn’t because Nina had called her and given her false hope about becoming a grandmother. A ball of dread began to form in the pit of my stomach.

  I took my time, dragging my feet, getting ready to go to my parents. A quick shower and a change of clean clothes had me feeling marginally better about everything that was about to go down. I rehearsed in my head the conversation I was going to have with my parents. I tried to imagine their reaction but couldn’t get past mumbling out the first few words, “Nina is a psycho.”

  The drive over was quiet. I tried to enjoy the sunshine pouring in through the windshield. Focusing on my breathing, I tried to calm my rapidly beating heart. The drive to my parents felt somewhat like walking the mile. Each mile was a step closer to potential doom. I had a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach that grew the closer I got to their house. The normally quick drive from our house to theirs seemed to stretch on as though it were a cross country drive, each rotation of the tires causing my anxiety to build.

  I sat in front of my parents’ house, the knot of dread in my stomach balled tight. I kept telling myself that if this news didn’t break my mother’s heart then I could get through it. That was all that I asked. I didn’t want my parent’s to be affected by some ridiculous notions set forth by a crazy chick. Knowing I couldn’t sit in my car any longer without drawing suspicion I got out. Each step toward the front door felt like a lead weight around my ankle, dragging me down.

  Before I reached the front door it swung open. My mother stood there proudly, a hundred watt smile on her face as she beamed at me. “Vkhodite syuda Get in here child.” She beckoned me eagerly. Her hands waved me forward into her warm embrace. Nothing beat a hug from my mother. It was the best balm for any situation.

  I wrapped myself around her, soaking in her warmth. The smell of lavender and fresh bread filled my nostrils. The scent was all her, that was my mother’s signature fragrance, lavender and bread. She had worn lavender perfume since as long as I could remember and was always in the kitchen baking something. She loved to bake and would often spend days just baking loaves of bread to have delivered to the less fortunate. It was one of the reasons I loved my mother so much. She had one of the biggest, warmest hearts of anyone alive.

  “Ya skuchal po tebe I missed you.” I whispered against her head as I kissed her temple. “Ya skuchal po tebe,” She smiled as she kissed my cheek then patted it gently with her hand.

  “Come, come.” She encouraged leading me into the house toward the kitchen past the living room in a swift pace I had not realized she was capable of.

  The kitchen was full of people I hadn’t expected to see. I had been so deep in my own mind that I hadn’t realized the driveway had been full of cars. I was completely blindsided. I blinked rapidly unsure if the mass of people were actually standing there or if I had just imagined them.

  My father, Boris, was standing there with Anna and Igor, Kiev’s parents, as well as a second set of people and a tall redhead. The red head’s back was turned toward me so I could not see her face. She had thick curves and a nice round ass. I quickly shook away the thoughts of her ass. I was nowhere near the position I needed to be at looking at a woman in any sense. In the kitchen our family’s priest, Father Bishop stood with a tight smile.

  “Mother?” I asked, my eyes pleading for understanding. Was this an intervention? I couldn’t for the life of me garner why these people were gathered in my parents kitchen.

  “Ivan, it’s so good to see you again. Please sit.” Father Bishop said motioning toward the large dining room table where my parents as well as the other couple and the girl went to sit. Not wanting to appear rude I followed his command. My father motioned for me to take a seat between him and my mother.

  “Now that we are all here I will let you explain Mrs. and Mr. Smirnov.” Father Bishop motioned toward my parents with his hands as he spoke.

  “Ivan, we have worried for you. It has been a constant worry of your mother and has caused her many trips to the doctor. We know that you have been going through difficult times finding your own path. We have taken upon ourselves to help you clear the way. We have spoken intensely with Mr. and Mrs. Kuznetsov. We have known them a number of years and in that time we have gotten to know their daughter Heather. We would like for the two of you to wed. Heather has agreed to this arrangement. She is a good wholesome girl and will make you a great wife.” My father spoke firmly though his words implied this was a happy time and something they were doing for me in love.

  I blinked hard; my mind was still stuck on his words about my mother. I hadn’t known that she had been having medical issues. I had no idea she had been to see the doctor for more than a checkup. My heart ached for the worry I had caused her. Being home had already showed me how much I had missed my parents and I realized that I had missed so much of their lives. They had aged dramatically since I had been home last and I didn’t want to do anything to cause them worry. Without thought I answered. “Yes.”

  “You agree to marry Miss Kuznetsov?” Father Bishop asked clarifying my wishes.

  “Yes, I agree to marry her. I would do anything to ease my mother’s worries.” I replied
meaning every word. I hadn’t thought about what this could mean for me. I only thought of my mother. That was all I could think about. Her smiling face, the happiness shining brightly in her eyes as she looked up at me was enough to cement my decision.

  “I have all of the appropriate paperwork here for you to sign. We will perform a simple ceremony today and you can have a more elaborate ceremony later for show.” Father Bishop said as he pulled out a stack of what looked to be legal paperwork.

  “Don’t we have to wait several months for the approval of the state?” I asked confused as reality began to sink in.

  “Your parents and I have already taken care of that. You gave your parents power of attorney to handle all matters on your behalf and in doing so had the paperwork drawn up several months ago. Now all that is needed is for the ceremony to be performed and the paperwork signed by me. I will deliver it to the officials and you will receive your copy in the mail.” He explained.

  My head was in a whirl. My parents filed for a marriage license for me to some girl? My mother was ill? What else had I been missing?

  “Ivan. Come on son. We must stand for the ceremony.” My mother said, her warm hand gently resting on my shoulder providing me comfort.

  “Yes, mother.” I complied obediently. My mother led me out to the patio where a makeshift altar had been set up. The decorations were minimal and understated yet elegant. The back patio had been adorned with white sheers bound by clumps of pale pink and white flowers. The altar had been draped in white material with similar floral arrangements embellishing it. It was something I would have chosen for myself had I been planning a wedding, though I’m sure for a woman it all seemed rather drab and plain.

  My mother led me to my place in front of Heather. I finally took the time to look at the woman that was soon to be my wife. She was a beautiful woman. She had long red hair that flowed down her back in soft waves. Her skin was smooth alabaster with a dust of freckles across the bridge of her nose. Her eyes were wide and bright, the color of golden honey. I had never seen that color of eyes before. They were stunning. She had a warm smile along her thin pink lips. She was tall for a woman, we nearly stood eye to eye and I was well over six foot. With a quick glance down at her body I noticed that she had large breasts that strained against the material of her white dress.

  She wasn’t wearing a traditional wedding dress but more of a thin gauzy white summer dress that flowed down to her ankles. She had wide hips that were flattering to her figure. She was a full figured woman but carried herself with confidence that made her all the more beautiful.

  “Are we ready?” Father Bishop asked.

  “Yes.” I managed to reply with more confidence than I felt. Heather never spoke, she simply nodded her head.

  Father Bishop spoke of love and commitment. He spoke of the love that blossoms during a marriage and how we should always be mindful of one another. I felt the thrill of his words as they surged through me. As I said them I knew I meant every word. “I, Ivan Smirnov, take you, Heather Kuznetsov, to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life."

  When Father Bishop repeated Heather’s vows back to her I was stunned when she began to sign them into my hand. I had not realized until that moment that she was mute. It didn’t change anything for me; I only wished I had known. I didn’t know sign language and I now began to wonder how this marriage would work. How would we communicate?

  Heather smiled nervously as she signed. I gave her an encouraging smile. I didn’t know her and I didn’t know what she had been through. What I did know was how brave she was to stand up before me, a stranger, and in her own way vow to be my wife, no matter what. To me she was one of the bravest women I had ever met. I would love her on that merit alone.

  Once our vows had been spoken the marriage was sealed with a kiss. I gave Heather a chaste kiss, having just met her and the fact that we were surrounded by our loved ones. Heather giggled nervously and it was like music to my ears. She may have lost her ability to speak but she had the ability to laugh. I vowed to make good use of that bit of information, storing it away for later use. I wanted to give her a lifetime of happiness and laughter.

  “I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Ivan Smirnov.” Father Bishop presented us to both of our parents. I was surprised when I turned around to see that Katinka, Tosha, Kiev, Emily, Nik, Evie, and Damon were all in attendance. The question must have been on my face because Katinka lifted her phone and pointed to it explaining how they had known to come.

  “Please, get to know one another and enjoy this beautiful day.” Father Bishop said giving us both a brief hug before departing.

  “Heather, I would like to introduce you to the rest of my family.” I said giving her a warm smile. Taking her hand in mine I lead Heather over to the large crowd of friends and began to make introductions. To my surprise Emily began to sign to Heather as she spoke.

  I shot her a questioning look. Emily blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m studying to be a special needs teacher.” She explained. I pulled Emily into a hug, embracing her for being a truly amazing addition to our family. “Will you teach me?” I whispered into her ear eager to learn. Emily blushed further and nodded her head.

  I wasn’t sure if she was still nervous about us being rock stars or if she was just nervous around us all in general. Despite my first impression of Emily she had proved me wrong at every turn. The stigma of her working at a strip club had lingered with me far longer than I ever should have let it. I hoped that maybe with her teaching me sign language I would get to also know her better and make her feel more comfortable in our family.

  “Have you told your parents yet?” Tosha pulled me to the side to ask.

  “No, as soon as I got here I was informed I was getting married.” I replied, not eager to ruin my mother’s day.

  “You can’t put this off.” He reminded me. “I know man. I know.”

  “I’ll get the parents and meet you in the den.” Tosha said turning to leave.

  I growled in frustration. I knew he was right but that didn’t make the task any easier. I wished I didn’t have to have this conversation to start with.

  Chapter Eight

  It was now or never. I needed to let my parents know what was going on before things moved any faster. Though I wasn't sure there was anything faster than marrying a stranger in my parent's backyard when I thought we were just going to have coffee and chat.

  I was now a married man. I was married to a gorgeous redhead that I had just met. I had no clue how it made me feel, there were so many emotions warring within me. I was terrified, anxious, excited, and absolutely terrified. Wait did I say that already? I was way out of my depth here. I had absolutely no idea what I should have been feeling, perhaps excitement, apprehension, elation?

  I could feel the perspiration beading up on my forehead. My palm was damp and I could feel my shirt sticking to the small of my back. It was now or never. Go time. "Mom, Papa, can I speak to you in private?" I cornered the two of them in the kitchen where my mother had been ladling up borsch for everyone.

  "What is it, Ivan?" My mother took in my distraught appearance. "Don't tell me you are having second thoughts about Heather."

  My father looked at me sternly. "The paper is already signed and the ink dry." He reminded me.

  "No, No, Heather is beautiful and I am sure I will be happy with her. I just need to talk to you in private." I mumbled now unsure if I should tell them what has been going on.

  "You can't keep secrets from your wife, especially so soon in the marriage." My father said granting himself an elbow in the ribs from my mother.

  "Bring Heather into the study and we will discuss whatever is troubling you." My mother said warmly casting a glare in my father's direction. I could see the regret on my father's face. He knew that his little slip up had cost him. I chuckled despite myself. If this is what being married loo
ked like then I was in for a wild ride and a lot of elbows to the ribs.

  I made my way across the room to where Heather sat chatting with Emily. "I hate to interrupt but may I steal my gorgeous wife for a moment?" I smiled warmly down at Heather. She was seriously gorgeous. I couldn't believe that I had somehow won the lotto when my parents found her. She had the looks that could stop traffic, making heads swivel.

  Heather gave me a warm smile and stood taking my outstretched hand. "I promise, I will return her to you just as soon as we are finished," I promised Emily with a smile.

  Though my words portrayed confidence, I was, in fact, shaking in my proverbial boots. I was absolutely terrified that Heather would regret marrying me. I was positive she had not signed up for a marriage full of drama and crazy exes. Heather gave my hand a reassuring squeeze as if sensing my plight. I smiled back at her nervously.

  Once we had made it in the den I wasn't sure of what to do or where to begin. Tosha stood there waiting for us, his barrel arms crossed over his chest. Confusion crinkled my parent’s brows as they entered taking note of Tosha waiting for us.

  All eyes fell to me as everyone eagerly waited to hear what I had to say with unease anticipation, unsure of why they had been drawn into a private discussion.

  I felt as though I had been placed under a microscope as everyone's eyes rested on me waiting for me to speak. "Well," my father prompted, clearly disturbed by being drawn away from his guest.

  "I-uh," I stuttered, scrambling for the right words. Was there a correct set of words one used when telling his family and a new wife that his ex-was a disillusioned nut job?

  "I'm really not sure where to start," I admitted scratching the back of my head nervously.

  "You simply start at the beginning." My father ribbed, not one to mince words.

  I groaned in response. "I suppose you're right though I hate doing this in front of Heather," I admitted giving Heather a sympathetic look.

  Heathers face scrunched up in confusion. "Fuck, I'm messing this all up. What I mean is I would hate to say anything that would have you look at me differently. My parents have to love me, they have no choice. I would just hate to say something that might hinder you from ever loving me in the future." I tried to explain as the words rambled out of my mouth. I watched as Heathers features softened, her eyes taking on a warm affectionate glow her hand gently squeezing mine. The gesture was comforting and eased some of the tension in my shoulders, giving me strength where I had none. Satisfied, Heather released her hold on me, allowing me to talk.