Island Redemption

by Suzanne Cass

  Before Cilla could gather her thoughts, she was pushed into line with the rest of the contestants to dutifully watch Rosa use the map JJ gave her to pace out lengths and find the landmarks on the make-believe beach of the TV set, until she at last started to dig through the sand to where she thought the treasure was buried. But Cilla’s mind was whirling with thoughts of Tam, wondering who in hell had actually voted for Rosa. It must’ve been Hayden, Jason, Susan and perhaps Cho? Cilla had been sure that at least either Jason or Hayden would have enough sense to see that Rosa had coasted through on other people’s coat tails. That Tam had been the stronger player. But it wasn’t to be.

  Returning her thoughts to the scene in front of her, she was just in time to hear the thud of the metal spade against wood. Rosa had found her treasure. One million dollars in gold bullion.

  Then came Tam’s turn to dig for the much smaller second prize of two hundred thousand. A snarl of emotions tangled in her gut as she watched him dig, and she fought to unravel what she was feeling. Frustration, anger, betrayal – they were uppermost in the swirl of her sentiments. But as she watched Tam’s strong back bend and straighten while he shovelled sand, other, softer emotions started to surface. Pity – he so deserved this money to help his kids. Warm affection for the way he winked as Marg cheered him on. Respect for the way he was handling himself with such humble humour. Desire as she watched those long legs, encased in butt-hugging jeans flex and bulge each time he bent down. He looked so handsome, his light grey sweater stretching nicely over his chiselled pecs. Clean-shaven, with hair stylishly tousled he was the picture of health once again. Love. Yep, there was no doubt now, she’d fallen inextricably for this man. The answer as to what she was going to do with those feelings, however, remained a mystery.

  Half an hour later Cilla squeezed her handbag tightly in front of her, trying to quell the awkwardness threatening to take over. Tam was heading straight for their little group from across the other side of the reception lobby, where they were all waiting for the after-party to start. Those hazel eyes were fixed right on her. Other women cast covetous glances as he made his way through the crowd and Cilla caught herself frowning at those women, even though she knew she had no right. Tam didn’t belong to her.

  And now she was wishing she hadn’t agreed to go to dinner with him so readily. What would she say to him? What was he going to say to her? In all the scenarios she’d run through her head tonight, it always ended inevitably – with a goodbye.

  She’d betrayed him abominably, used him deplorably, and he’d never forgive her for that. She certainly wouldn’t if she were in his shoes. If he’d ever had any feelings for her, she’d well and truly killed them by voting him off the island. Besides, they lived on opposites sides of the continent. Even geography was conspiring against them. Add to that, Tam hadn’t tried to contact her in the past two months. Not even once. It all added up to the fact that Tam didn’t feel the same way about her. She would conquer these feelings. Not let them show. If she kept shoving them back, deep down inside where no one else could see them, then it’d get easier and easier to act as if she didn’t care. Eventually. One day. Maybe.

  But going to dinner with him was definitely not a good idea. She had to come up with some kind of excuse. But what, she’d promised him after all.

  Raising her chin a little, Cilla watched Tam walk towards them. Standing next to her talking to Brad, Alisha lifted her head and noticed Tam’s approach as well. Her black eyes twinkled with amusement and she gave Cilla a knowing glance. The two of them had taken up their great friendship exactly where they’d left off. Cilla had been ecstatic to see Alisha again, and they’d just finished organising for Cilla to go and visit her family in New Orleans. She couldn’t wait to meet Humphrey, Alisha’s husband, or her three kids, all grown and left home now, but still living in the neighbourhood. Would they live up to the image Cilla had in her head from the hours they’d spent discussing their families while snorkelling for fish on the island? They sounded like such a close-knit, loving family, she couldn’t wait to find out.

  ‘I just saw Rosa over there, I need to go and talk to her,’ Alisha said quietly into Cilla’s ear. ‘I think I’ll leave you to it. It was great to meet you grandmother. See you at the wind-up party.’ Before Cilla had time to protest, Alisha gave a little wave, the twinkle still evident in her eye as she headed off towards the group gathered around Rosa.

  Plastering a smile on her face she closed her eyes for the briefest of seconds and then touched her grandmother lightly on the elbow when she felt Tam’s presence behind her. ‘Grandma, I’d like you to meet Tam.’ The old woman’s arm tensed under her fingers. Fiercely protective of her granddaughter, Barbara had made a pre-emptive decision after watching the television show, that Tam was to blame for Cilla’s downfall on Sea-Quest. Or at the very least Cilla was Tam’s scorned lover. Her granddaughter deserved better than a traitor. No amount of cajoling from Cilla’s side would get her to see it otherwise. ‘Tam, this is my grandmother, Barbara.’

  ‘Very pleased to meet you.’ Tam held out his hand in welcome.

  ‘Hmm.’ Barbara pursed her lips and Cilla was afraid she wouldn’t return his handshake. But even her grandmother wouldn’t leave a man dangling out there like a fish hung out to dry and she did eventually give his hand a quick shake before going back to glaring openly at him.

  ‘Hi, my name’s Brad.’ Brad offered his hand into the awkward silence. ‘I’m Cilla’s old boss,’ he said in way of explanation when Tam threw him a quizzical grin. ‘I just happened to be in town when this finale thing came up and I couldn’t pass up a chance to see the whole spectacle for myself.’ Brad gave one of his trademark belly laughs and Cilla was thankful for her boss’ impeccable sense of humour.

  ‘I have to admit, I’m a bit of a Sea-Quest addict. I watch every season,’ Brad enthused. ‘But this time it was extra special, with Cilla being part of it and all. It’s just a pity she didn’t win.’ Brad took off his Chicago Bulls cap and fixed her with an unswerving gaze. ‘You were definitely in there with a good chance. But I guess congratulations are in order for you, Tam.’ Brad reached out and slapped Tam on the back. ‘Second place aint too bad. I bet that two hundred thousand will come in mighty handy, huh?’

  Tam smiled and was about to reply when Barbara said in a very loud voice, ‘Yes, and we all know who he has to thank for that opportunity, don’t we?’ She gave Tam one of her sour looks, eyes narrowed to squinty pinpricks, lips puckered up like a dried prune.

  Uh oh. Cilla didn’t want to answer the question of why she’d thrown away her exemption for the hundredth time today. Quick, she needed to change the subject and fast, before her grandmother launched into an unjustified tirade.

  Then she saw him.

  Her father.

  She’d not seen him in over six years, but she’d know that hunched stance, that pinched, haunted face anywhere. He hadn’t seen her yet and she watched him stagger forward a few steps and then stop, swaying on the spot as he scanned the groups of people in the reception area. He was drunk. Her stomach lurched violently at the thought. What was he doing here?

  An angry sneer lit up his face as he spotted them and he almost fell forward in his haste to get to them. Cilla stood transfixed, suddenly unable to move.

  ‘You stupid little bitch,’ her father snarled, loud enough so that other people standing nearby stopped their conversations to stare. ‘What the fuck were you thinking, giving away that talisman? You threw away one million dollars, do you realise that?’ There was no familiar greeting, no how-do-you-do, he launched straight into his bitter tirade, raging about the only thing that mattered to him anymore. Money.

  He didn’t care one whit what happened to either her or her grandmother; his mother. Didn’t care if they ended up on the street, Barbara living out the rest of her life in some horrible public aged-care facility, and her on the street, penniless. All he cared about was himself. The notion leant an edge of steel to her resolve. He wasn
’t going to hurt them again.

  ‘Oh no,’ Cilla heard her grandmother gasp as she took an instinctive step backwards. Anger rose vicious and sudden, burning hot through Cilla’s veins. How dare he frighten his own mother! How dare he speak to her in that way!

  ‘Brad, can you look after Barbara for me?’ Cilla ground out between clenched teeth. ‘Whatever happens, don’t let this … him, near her.’

  ‘Sure thing, Cilla.’ She saw Brad wrap a protective arm around her grandmother and lead her away to the edge of the room, the look on his face one of set determination. She knew he’d be back at her side in an instant if she needed him.

  ‘Well come on, girl, do tell. I’d love to hear the story of why you thought you needed to give away that money.’ Now he was closer, Cilla could see little drops of spittle fly from his mouth as he spoke. ‘We could’ve been rich, if you hadn’t been such a randy little slut.’ Not only was he drunk, but he was as mean as she’d ever seen him before. Her fists came up in front of her, an instinctive move, surprising her. Would she really go as far as actually hitting her father?

  ‘Now hold on just one minute,’ said Tam, stepping in between Cilla and her father, his shoulder bumping with hers. ‘I don’t know exactly what’s going on here, but you shouldn’t be speaking to Cilla like that. You need to back off.’ If she’d not been so full of rage, Cilla would’ve felt a warm glow of gratitude creep into her body. Tam was protecting her. Putting his body on the line for her.

  ‘It’s okay, Tam, I’ve got this one,’ she said quietly to his back.

  ‘Yeah, boy, get the fuck outta my face. I’ll talk to my daughter any fucking way I please.’

  ‘Excuse me?’ Tam couldn’t hide the incredulity in his voice. Cilla put a hand on his bicep and moved around to stand beside him.

  ‘I’m sorry you had to find out like this, Tam, but this is my wonderful, loving father.’ Her voice dripped with resentment. ‘Get out of here, Wayde. You’re drunk and making a scene.’ Her whole body was shaking with the effort of keeping her tone civil.

  ‘I’m not leaving until I’m good and ready. Until I get my fair share.’ Wayde was slurring his words badly now and a crowd had gathered, enjoying the spectacle, completing her humiliation.

  ‘Fair share of what exactly, Wayde? You already stole your mother’s house and my boat from us. When will you be happy? When we’re both living on the streets, as destitute and desperate as you are?’ An enormous well of abhorrence, pent up for over ten years started to boil inside her. She knew her face was warped into a snarling grimace, but she no longer cared.

  ‘Don’t give me that crap, girl. You’ve got money to spare, I just know it. You just don’t want me to have it. Money is just as important to you as it is to me. I’d never have given that talisman away, and you shouldn’t have either.’

  ‘And that is the exact reason I did it. You disgust me, and I’ll never, ever, be like you.’

  ‘Don’t be such a stupid little ingrate. You’ve got my blood running through you. Of course you’re like me. You’re exactly like me.’ Her father stepped closer, looming menacingly. She felt Tam push up against her shoulder, ready to react in an instant. But she didn’t need him. She’d settle this one on her own.

  ‘Get away from me,’ she snarled.

  ‘Make me,’ he snarled back.

  Then she hit him. Full in the face. He fell backwards and landed hard on his backside. Blood spurted from his nose. She felt a sick sense of elation at the sight.

  ‘I don’t ever want to see you again. Ever. Do you hear me?’ Her father looked up, his expression dazed, blood running down his face. Two security guards arrived. They picked him up, one under each arm.

  ‘Take this guy out of here.’ Cilla was glad when Tam took control, she was too angry to speak. ‘I’ll tell you what happened on the way out.’ Tam steered the three of them towards the nearest exit, the two guards practically dragging Wayde between them.

  She watched her father’s unceremonious exit. He was a sad sight, all shrunken and dishevelled, stooped and small between the two large guards. She should’ve felt pity for her father, or grief, something. But she didn’t. All she felt was relief and a fierce hope that he heeded her words and never set foot near her again.

  Remembering her grandmother, Cilla whirled around and headed straight for Barbara and Brad. He still had a protective hand under her elbow, a concerned look crowding his face.

  ‘Oh my God, Cilla, you hit him,’ her grandmother gasped. ‘I can’t believe you hit him.’ She was practically hyperventilating.

  ‘Let’s go over here and sit down.’ Cilla led them over to a couch, and eased her grandmother down into it.

  ‘Is he going to come back?’

  ‘Calm down, Grandma. The guards will make sure he doesn’t come back.’

  ‘Yeah, and after Cilla punched him, he won’t want to show his face back in here again,’ Brad chuckled. Cilla threw him a look that told him he wasn’t helping. ‘I’ll go and get a glass of water, hey?’

  ‘That’d be great.’

  Tam strode back into the room. He was so tall he towered over most of the other guests. For a millisecond the mere sight of him made the room seem brighter, made her want to smile. Until she remembered what he’d just witnessed.

  ‘I’m so sorry, Tam, I can’t go out with you tonight. I can’t leave my grandmother in such a state.’ It was true, her grandmother had worked herself up so much, she dare not leave her tonight.

  ‘Of course, you can’t leave her,’ Tam said, his tone sympathetic. But there was a tightness around his eyes that spoke to how disappointed he was.

  ‘Tomorrow perhaps?’

  ‘Sorry, we fly home first thing in the morning,’ Cilla said, patting her grandmother’s hand absentmindedly.

  ‘Oh, I see.’ He was no longer hiding his disappointment.

  ‘I’m sorry you had to see that, Tam. But now you know the truth about me. I came onto this show to try and win back money that my no-good gambling father stole from me.’ Her dirty laundry was out for everyone to see now. He’d never want to be with her now he’d seen what a dysfunctional family she came from. She’d just punched her own father in the face for Christ’s sake.

  ‘It explains a lot about you, Cilla.’ Tam fixed her with a serious gaze, eyes dark like treacle.

  What did that cryptic remark mean?

  ‘Yes, well, the truth always comes out in the end, doesn’t it?’ She didn’t want to see those eyes fill with pity, as she knew they would any second now. She didn’t deserve his pity anyway.

  ‘I have to go and see to my grandmother. I guess I’ll see you around.’ She turned her back on him and pretended to fuss over Barbara on the couch, not daring to look at Tam any longer. This was for the best. It’d do her no good for him to see how much she wanted him to stay. She was a lost cause and Tam was too decent a man to want any part of her. Not after she’d acted so unforgivably on the island and certainly not now after she’d showed him exactly what kind of person she was by brawling with her own father.

  ‘If that’s the way you want it, Cilla. Then goodbye and good luck.’

  Seconds ticked by and she finally dared to glance up. Tam was halfway across the room, his back steadily retreating as he made for the doorway.

  She hadn’t gotten the chance to tell him how much she wished he’d won the million dollars instead of Rosa. Or ask him how the kids in his clinic were all doing. Did they think he was a hero for becoming a castaway on an island for thirty-eight days?

  And how he was a hero in her eyes.

  That she’d fallen in love with him.

  All of these things rolled around in her head as she watched him walk away. A lump of something cold and unnameable formed in her chest. It was hard to breathe.

  She wanted him to turn around, to flash that captivating smile and tell her this was all a joke, he wasn’t going to let her push him away this easily. Wanted him to drag her into his embrace and hold her, safe and treasured a
gainst his chest. Stoke her hair and whisper words of adoration. But this wasn’t a TV show, this was reality. And in reality Tam would never return her love.

  Inside she wanted to scream, to cry and wail and throw a tantrum on the floor. On the outside her eyes remained dry, her face fixed into a mask of unqualified indifference. There’d be time for tears later, but not here, and not now.

  ‘Would you take me up to our room now, dear. I need a cup of tea and a lie down,’ her grandmother said in a tremulous voice and it made Cilla jump guiltily. For a second she’d forgotten where she was; had forgotten everything but watching those broad shoulders walk away from her. Forever.

  ‘Of course, Grandma.’ She helped her up and as she took one elbow, Brad took the other and they walked slowly towards the hotel lifts, in the opposite direction to which Tam had gone.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Head down in the forward rope locker, Cilla didn’t notice the figure standing on the jetty at first. Settling the last coil of rope neatly in place she came up onto her knees and closed the locker hatch with a flourish. Finally, the last rope was stowed properly. She was ready to take the ketch for a sail; the first time since Brad brought her to Miami nearly a month ago.

  ‘Permission to come aboard.’

  Startled, Cilla looked up. At first she could only make out a dark outline of a man on the jetty, with the early morning sun blazing directly into her eyes. The voice was familiar, however. The figure moved a step closer.

  Tam.

  ‘What … What are you doing here?’

  He was standing there, a black bag resting at his feet, looking as nonchalant as you please. As if his presence in Sunset Harbour was an everyday occurrence. Confusion swirled in her head. Heart pounding, she took an involuntary step backwards.

  ‘I brought Jelly Babies,’ he said, holding up an opened bag and popping one into his mouth. He’d remembered. They were her favourites. She was still at a loss for words, his presence here, on her jetty had completely undone her. What the hell was going on?